Chapter 29

Chapter

Twenty-Nine

Kathryn

" M iss Fitzroy?" Mr. O'Reilly must have said something to her, but she didn't register it.

Doctor Beille tried to walk across the room. He was halted by the butler who quickly took the wet frock coat and hat, before allowing Doctor Beille to continue.

"Forgive me, I…" Kathryn tried to speak, but the words died on her tongue. She couldn't shift her gaze from Doctor Beille as he walked toward her. He flattened his hair that had curled rather madly in the dampness. When he halted beside them, he bowed at once.

"Excuse the interruption," he said hurriedly. Mr. O'Reilly looked sharply at him, as if he had no intention of excusing or forgiving it. "My apologies, sir, I must speak with Miss Fitzroy at once. She has a debt that is owed."

"A debt?" Kathryn repeated.

Oh. He wants paying for the lessons he gave me. I did offer him money, did I not?

She chewed her lip, her heart thudding hard in her chest, so much so that she could feel it thundering against her ribcage. More than anything did she wish to fall into Doctor Beille's arms. How much she had missed him these last few days? How she had thought she would never see him again, and yet here he was before her now!

"A debt?" Mr. O'Reilly also repeated the words. "Yet we are to dance now."

"A dance is part of the debt. Forgive me for stepping in." Doctor Beille somehow easily took Kathryn's hand from Mr. O'Reilly's. "My name has been down on her dance card for some time."

It has?

Kathryn could still not form words.

The music ended and the last lot of couples left the floor. Before Mr. O'Reilly could think of something to say, Doctor Beille led Kathryn away onto the floor. In his haste, she tripped on her own feel, and stumbled forward, he caught her waist easily as they stood opposite one another, the smallest of smiles on his lips.

Kathryn blushed the deepest shade of red she could possibly imagine. Never had she felt so heated in the cheeks.

That is exactly the sort of clumsiness I have been trying to avoid.

The music began and many couples around them bowed and curtsied. Neither of them could as they were stood so close together, but as the three-beat music became apparent, Doctor Beille led Kathryn into a waltz.

"Doctor Beille," Kathryn found her voice, though it came out strained and much quieter than she had intended. "What are you doing here? You spoke of a…debt." The word felt wrong in her ears. She couldn't tear her gaze away from him, not only admiring his handsome face, drinking in the sight as she feared she would not see it again, but also marking the signs of tiredness under his eyes and the wetness of his clothes.

It suggested he'd had a mad and rather wild journey to Dorset.

"This is my debt." As they danced, he released the hand from her palm, keeping his other on her waist to direct her around the floor. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a single earring. Kathryn blinked as she stared at Arabella's earring.

"You found it?"

"I did. I had to return it to you." He returned it to his pocket, clearly intending to give it properly to her later when the dance was finished. He caught her hand again and directed her around the room. He moved with such swiftness that Kathryn was startled, following him with surprising ease, though she panicked with every step that she would trip on his feet and fall, making a fool of herself once again.

"Thank you," Kathryn murmured, concentrating on her footwork. "But you came all the way to Dorset just to give me that? You could have sent it in the post, Doctor."

"I could have." He shook his head. "Yet there was something more I had to say to you. I realized that I owed you an explanation, about when I told you that I was in love."

Kathryn looked down between them sharply. She could now hear her heartbeat thudding in her ears. She couldn't bear to hear him say to her now that he loved another, this Emily. How could she bear to hear this at a ball in front of so many other people? It would cripple her! And her ensuing despair would be witnessed by all.

"Pray, do not say anymore," she begged, staring somewhere in the middle of his chest. His hand tightened around her own, as if he was startled by her words. "I know, Doctor."

"What is it you know?"

"I know that you are in love," she whispered in a rush. "The night you were suffering with nightmares, I heard you say her name. Emily." She looked up at last, to find him staring at her.

He slowed their dance, so they were in the middle of the floor, moving more side to side. The dance felt strangely intimate now, and Kathryn had to remind herself that she didn't have his heart. She couldn't indulge in any fantasies now.

"I apologize, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart," she whispered in a rush. "My wish to learn from you, and my wish to get to know you – if it has in anyway caused a discord between you and your love, I am heartily sorry for it. That was never my intention?—"

"I can see I need to explain myself at once before any more confusion continues." Doctor Beille abruptly smiled. That changed made Kathryn stiffen, baffled by it. "Emily was my first love, yes, but that was many years ago now. She died, Kathryn."

"What? She died?" Kathryn shook, her steps suddenly falling still beneath her. Doctor Beille had to lead her strongly into the next figures, and she nearly tripped once again. His hand slid further across her back, keeping her safe in his arms. A heat rose through her body, and she could have sworn the hairs on the back of her neck rose. "I do not understand," she whispered.

"That is because I have sought to keep what I feel locked up for so long," Doctor Beille said in a rush. "Yes, I was in love before. She was a patient, and I lost her. I believed, foolishly, as it transpires, that I could not love again. In fact, I blocked out the idea, considering it safer for my own heart to never give me a chance to love again. Little was I expecting you to come along."

"I beg your pardon?" Her voice was barely audible now.

"You sort of pushed your way through my barriers." His smile grew so much it transformed his features. "Thank God you did."

"Like a bull in a China shop? It would not be the first time I'd been compared to that." She grimaced. "I have a habit of leaving disaster in my wake."

"No disaster here," Doctor Beille said with a laugh, "and in case you had not noticed, Kathryn, I am rather fond of your eager and passionate manner."

Kathryn… He called me Kathryn.

Her heart leapt in her chest.

"In fact, when I told you I was in love, I meant I was in love with you." His voice deepened.

"Me?" Kathryn spluttered.

This is not possible. This is some dream I shall wake from at any moment. It has to be!

Doctor Beille's hand slid further across her back, pulling her an inch nearer as they danced.

"Speechless?" he whispered playfully.

"I…" Words failing her seemed to answer his question. He laughed softly, as did she too.

Say something. Tell him you love him too!

Yet the music came to a stop. They were forced to release one another, stepping back to curtsy and bow to each other, though Doctor Beille snatched up her hand quickly again, escorting her off the floor.

"Doctor—"

"Call me Nigel," he begged in a whisper. "It is my name."

"But—" She couldn't call him that. Not now. What would people around them say?

People were suddenly moving toward them. Never had she seen her father's face so angry, so red, the eyes wide. He must have guessed exactly who Doctor Beille was, judging by how swiftly he moved toward them. Behind him moved Clara and Arabella, each one tottering in their slim skirts to keep up.

At some distance, Kathryn caught sight of Daniel, Sebastian and Elizabeth, who were all watching with fixed gazes, their wine glasses halted in mid air on the way to their lips, as if time had frozen.

"Shall I hazard a guess as to your identity, sir?" Horatio said rather stiffly as he looked at Doctor Beille.

"Doctor Beille, sir." He bowed deeply, his hand still in Kathryn's.

"This is my father," Kathryn said hurriedly. "Baron Fitzroy."

Doctor Beille made his bow even deeper than before.

Clara clearly panicked. She reached for Horatio's arm and pulled on it, as if imploring him in her silence to do something. Did they fear Doctor Beille was here to risk her reputation even more? Kathryn could not panic now. She was tense, nervous, yes, but her heart was still beating madly as she thought of what the Doctor had just told her.

He loves me. How is this even possible?

"I had something to return to your daughter, Lord Fitzroy." Doctor Beille reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the earring. He handed this first to Kathryn, then reached into another pocket and pulled out her notebook. Kathryn stared at it, wide eyed, amazed to see it again after she feared she had lost it. "Is this yours, my Lady?" He offered it to Clara, whose lips opened and closed in shock, with no words escaping her.

"It was mine, originally," Arabella said, stepping forward, though she did not take the book.

"Then you must be the Duchess of Gordon." Doctor Beille bowed his head to her in greeting. "I am delighted to meet you. Your niece talks of you not only with great fondness, but awe too. From your notes, I can see you are a skilled healer."

"Thank you." Arabella took the book at last, her brow furrowed.

"May I suggest you read the notes Kathryn has made at the back of the book," Doctor Beille encouraged. "She has learned much. I believe she could be a skilled healer herself someday."

Kathryn stood taller. These words mattered to her as much as his declaration of love. He believed she had potential! It was all she had ever wanted, to be of use to people, as he and Arabella were.

Arabella smiled softly as she turned to the back of the book, hastily taking in the notes that Kathryn had made.

"I can feel the glares I am receiving." Doctor Beille looked at Horatio.

At her father's expression, Kathryn stiffened.

"Father…" she whispered, yet that expression did not alter, and neither did Clara's pulling on Horatio's arm halt.

"May I speak openly, my Lord?"

"I'd encourage you to do so at once," Horatio said firmly. Doctor Beille cleared his throat and stepped toward Horatio, dropping Kathryn's hand, though she longed for it back at once.

"I have never behaved improperly toward your daughter. On the contrary, I have the highest respect and admiration for her. I would not dishonor her so."

"I am glad to hear it." Horatio's face softened a little. "Though I rather thought you were about to make a different declaration to my daughter, sir?"