14. Alexander

The world spins as I look up at the ceiling in my office, my mind miles away. I haven’t gotten any work done since I got into the office. I’m too rattled, too confused. My head’s a mess. It has been since the gala two days ago.

I haven’t spoken to Katerina, I’ve barely spoken to anyone apart from Nate. We finally took care of the Colton issue so that’s one problem checked off my bucket list. One I got access to the company’s mainframe it was easy to track the information about the product. From there it was a series of sequences and carefully placed viruses, destroying everything. They’re lucky I didn’t go after their other shit. I wanted to, if not for anything but the way that bastard had stared at Katerina. But it would have been a bad idea.

And irrational. My every thought when it comes to her is irrational.

I still can’t believe I agreed to let Nate see her. Days later and I’m half sure it’s a bad idea but then there’s a part of me that can’t help thinking about what she and Graham revealed. She came to see him. Even if it was once, five years after he was born, she came.

That more than anything lets me know she cares. But it still doesn’t make me feel reassured enough to expose her to Nate. I have no idea how he’ll react, what truths to tell him.

How do I let a nine year old know that his mother’s alive when he thinks she’s been dead all this while?

I also can’t stop thinking about the other thing she said.

You hesitated.

I had no idea she had listened in on that conversation. No clue that she heard the ultimatum my father gave me. And despite how much I want to deny it. I did hesitate. Because after so long struggling for my father’s approval, it was hard to throw it all away.

But I would have. For her. I would have done it for her.

I’m suddenly jolted from my thoughts when the door into my office slams open. My dad walks in, the physical embodiment of anger. I raise both my eyebrows, slowly getting to my feet.

“When did you arrive, father?”

He doesn’t reply, shutting the door behind him. He approaches my table and slams something down onto it. A picture. There’s two people in it, a man and a woman, wearing masks. Two very familiar people in each other’s hands. My stomach churns.

That’s Katerina and I at the masquerade party two days ago.

I look up at my father. “What’s going on?”

“You incompetent fucking child, do you have any idea what you’ve done?!” he yells.

My fists clench. I’m thirty one years old, my father calling me a child is an insult that cuts deep. But that’s how he’s always been. Using malicious words to tug people down. It’s a wonder I’ve survived living with him for so long.

“Instead of yelling how about you tell me what’s wrong?” I ask calmly.

“You’re asking me what’s wrong. Look at that picture, Alexander.”

“I’m looking,” I say dryly. “But I don’t see a problem. Yes, it’s me and Katerina but our faces are covered. It’s nothing to be so angry about. You’re the one that asked me to work with her to get to Colton. I did that.”

Who the hell even took the picture?

My father looks on the verge of pulling his hair out of his head. Seriously, he’s completely overreacting. I tilt my head to the side.

“Is the picture about to be released to the press? If yes, there’s plausible deniability, because our faces aren’t in it,” I say reasonably.

He scoffs, “You have no idea what you’ve done.”

“Then explain it to me!”

He heads for the side of my office instead, grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the fridge. He pulls out a glass and pours some in, before heading back towards me. He takes a sit without a single glance and I watch as he drinks a huge swig of the drink.

“Congratulations, Alexander. You’ve ruined everything I’ve done these past nine years. You just ruined your life and your son’s life as well.”

My fists clenches as my blood runs cold. “What does this have to do with Nate?”

He nods towards the table. “That picture was taken two nights ago. And earlier this morning, I got a call from a reporter in New York Daily informing me that a story’s about to break about one of my sons. Naturally I assumed it was Graham. I thought he’d gotten into some stupid scandal here once again. But it wasn’t. No, they informed me it was so much worse.”

“What’s the story?” I ask in a low voice.

“Apparently, the person that called in with the tip and took the picture only wanted to spread a rumor that you were dating the head of a crime syndicate. But the reporter took that story and ran much further than that, digging into the past.”

Something knots in my gut, “How far back?”

“Well considering there have always been suspicions and conspiracy theories about who Nathaniel’s mother could be, this reporter took it upon himself to find out. It wasn’t hard for him to dig up the fact that both you and Katerina Mincetti went to Harvard. And after only a few calls to some of your former classmates, he found out you also dated. Do the math, Alexander.”

“He knows she’s his mother?’ I ask in a whisper.

“He knows everything!” he yells. “The story’s going to break tomorrow about your relationship with her and the fact that you two had a love child.”

I feel like I’m going to be sick.

“I know I fucked up,” I start, taking in a steady breath. “But there’s still time. We can bury it. Pay off the reporter, anyone that knows. We can fix this.”

He gives me a pitying look as he takes another gulp of whiskey.

“Did you forget whose party that picture was taken at?”

My heart drops. “Colton knows?”

“Yes and because you were apparently dumb enough to get your picture taken at his party, he’s aware you’re the reason his plans for the product release are suddenly going haywire. He knows you were at his party and he knows the Mincetti girl helped you. He wants revenge.”

“Fuck!” I breathe.

“And while I might have a hell of a lot of influence in D.C, in New York, Colton has more power and he’s intent on ensuring the story gets out. I talked to the reporter already, offered him a lot of money not to break the story, he refused. Said he already had a better offer. There’s no stopping this, Alexander.”

Yeah I’m definitely going to be sick.

“That woman,” my father says. “Has always been your weakness. You don’t think clearly when it comes to her. I had hoped you’d have grown a pair. I thought you were smarter but you’re still the same boy that was so in love with her he couldn’t see up his own ass. You’re a disappointment, Alexander. And I had such high hopes for you.”

I grit my teeth but don’t reply but my mind whirring as I try to come up with a viable solution.

“This ruins everything,” he continues. “How are the board supposed to trust you as CEO when your reputation is in tatters because you’re publicly known to have a relationship with a crime syndicate? And I’m supposed to just give you my company? No way in hell is that happening.”

“I don’t fucking care,” I say finally finding my voice.

“What?”

“I said I don’t care,” I repeat. “Do you know how hard I’ve worked to gain even a little bit of respect from you. You’re a controlling narcissist and a fucking asshole. All you care about is your pride. Do you even give a damn about your children? Don’t answer that because I already know you don’t. You pitted me against Graham in every aspect as we grew older, you placed a tight leash around Mikayla’s neck her entire life. You don’t even see the length of your own inadequacies because you’re too busy judging everyone around you!”

A muscle pulses at the side of his forehead.

I continue. “I’m done. Ten years ago you asked me to choose between my position in the family and what I wanted. I’m choosing to prioritize my family. My son and his mother. I don’t care what you do. I don’t give a fuck about my reputation. I’ll take care of my problems on my own.”

He stares at me, sympathy laced with anger.

“Like I said, a fucking disappointment.”

I’m about to say something else when the door to my office opens again. Graham walks in, fear in his expression. My father laughs into his cup.

“The other disappointment has arrived. How does it feel to have ruined your brother’s life, Graham?”

My head snaps up as I look at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Graham looks at me, green eyes wide with fear. He starts to speak, fast.

“I didn’t mean for it to escalate so badly. I just wanted a small story about how you’re in a secret relationship with the head of a mafia group. Just to damage your reputation a little. I didn’t think they’d dig into the past and find out the truth. I swear it, Xander. I never meant for Nate to get hurt.”

My heart practically drops. And here I thought he and I were making some progress over the last couple of days.

“One son is at the center of all the trouble, another’s the catalyst that led to it. The both of you are, idiots,” my father pronounces.

His voice is really starting to grate on my nerves. I need to get out of here. I grab my jacket and my phone and start to walk towards the door.

“Where are you going, Alexander?” father questions.

“To pick up my son,” I grit out.

And hopefully figure out a way to explain all the shit that’s about to go down. Graham’s still standing by the door. He opens his mouth probably to deliver another stupid apology but I can’t even listen to him. Blood roars in my ears and before I stop to reconsider, my hand is rearing up and I’m punching him in the face.

He staggers backward, holding onto his jaw. “You’re a fucking bastard, Graham.”

I walk out of the office without looking back. It’s 2pm and Nate won’t be done with school until an hour later but I figure this is probably as good a time as any to pick him up. He’s in the middle of class when I arrive after getting to permission to let him leave early.

When he sees me, there’s a bright smile on his face and my heart falls with the knowledge of what I’m about to reveal to him. I lean down to hug him.

“Hey, sport.”

“Hi, dad. What’s wrong? Why did I have to leave early?” he questions, pulling away.

I grab his lunch box from his hand and intertwine our fingers as I lead him out of the school.

“Well I got done with work pretty early today and I thought you and I could go out and get some ice-cream.”

“Really?” he asks, green eyes gleaming. “Let’s go. I want mint-chocolate chip. And three scoops instead of two.”

“Woah, slow down, buddy. I said I’d buy you ice-cream, not give you diabetes.”

He laughs. “What’s diabetes?”

“It’s a sickness you can get if you eat too much sugar. It can get pretty serious.”

He sighs. “Okay. I guess I’ll eat two scoops then.”

“You guess?” I ask, a little amused as we arrive at the car.

I help him into the backseat, ensure that his seatbelt is on before heading for the driver’s seat.

“I’m glad you didn’t have a lot of work today, dad. It’s been a long time since you took me out to eat ice-cream,” he says making my heart clench.

Work keeps me away from him far more than I’d like. And while Nate never really complains, I know he gets sad when I’m too busy. I make myself a promise that I’ll make more of an effort to spend more time with him.

That’s if I even still have a job after all this.

We get our ice-creams, him happily chomping down his as I suggest we take a walk around the park nearby. It’s quiet and there’s not a lot of people. The perfect place to talk. We find a bench and settle down on it. I smile when I notice the drizzle of ice-cream on his shirt, pulling out a napkin to help clean it off.

“You know your mom’s favorite ice-cream is mint-chocolate chip too, right?” I ask him.

Katerina would love knowing that. They share so many similarities, little ones, big ones, things they have in common. He looks like her too. His nose, his mouth. He has my eyes and hair but his face resembles his mother.

“Seriously?” he asks wide eyed. Then his eyes narrow. “You said is, instead of was, daddy. It’s bad grammar.”

“What?”

“You said my mom’s favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip. But she’s dead so it should be was. Our teacher taught us that in class a few days ago.”

My chest tightens. Fucking hell.

“You’re right, sport. It would be bad grammar to use is instead of was,” I mutter, my eyes getting fixed on a spot above his head.

I can’t do this. But I know I have to. It would kill me if he had to hear this from someone else apart from me.

“Nate,” I say gently. “How would you feel if your mom was still alive?”

He shrugs. “I’d be happy. I miss her sometimes. Even though I didn’t know her. I still miss her.”

I let out a shuddering breath.

“I am so sorry, sport. But there’s something I have to tell you. And I need you to listen carefully.”