CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Renn

The taste of Maven's tears are arousing and devastating all at once, and because they belong to her, I want to feel each and every one on my tongue, to savor them so when I'm no longer with her, I can remember. The way she tastes is one thing, but I want the sounds—how she moves and speaks—I want to remember everything.

"Do you mind if I get cleaned up?" she asks as we're both lying naked on the bed after she thoroughly spent me. I nod and take her by the hand, leading her to the bathroom. I turn the water on for her and move to leave, but she pulls me in with her. I don't question it, especially as her breath hitches watching me take a step inside. It makes that need in me come alive again, just knowing she doesn't want to leave my side, even if it's only for a few minutes. We are equally starved and eager to use every moment we have to our advantage. She dips her head back, letting the water run down her head until her hair is completely drenched. Then, carefully, she reaches for the soap and starts to lather it over her skin. I follow her by lathering my body as well, and once we are both clean, I turn to her and waste no time in getting her where I want her.

"Turn around."

She obeys, turning herself so her back faces me. The water skates down her body, little streams mapping her every perfect curve. I bite her neck lightly, and she lays her head on my shoulder.

"Put your hands on the glass," I say.

She does, and I kiss my way down the length of her spine. When I reach the base, I notice for the first time the scars painted against her skin there. They are so small compared to the trauma that encompassed them—the story of her journey of loss and pain. But the scars are part of what makes her the strong, beautiful woman I fell in love with. She's beautiful regardless, but the scars make her even more breathtaking. For a moment, I'm lost in the sight of her, mesmerized by every plane of skin and muscle on her body. I lightly touch her scars the same way she touched mine, with reverence, and she inhales sharply.

She removes a hand from the glass, but I purr in her ear, "Keep. Your. Hands. On. The. Glass. It's my turn."

I feel her take a shaky breath. I could do a lot of things with her in this position, but right now, this is more than sex. Instead, I grab some shampoo and start to gently rub it into her scalp. She hums in pleasure as I rake my fingers over and over through her dark strands. After a few minutes, I pull her away from the glass so she can stand under the water again. She tilts her head back, and I can't control myself. I grab her by the waist, pulling her against me, and kiss the column of her throat. She shivers at my touch and then reaches up to kiss me while the water rains down on us. We stay there a long while as our slick, wet bodies press up against each other.

Eventually, Maven pulls her lips from mine. "I think we're running out of hot water."

I was too busy to notice, but now that she points it out, it's much too cold to stay here. I step out and hand her a towel.

"I'm freezing." Maven's teeth chatter as we exist the bathroom.

I suddenly get a wild idea that I hope she will like. "Wait here."

I grab every blanket, sheet, and pillow I own and drag them down to the fireplace. Then I turn out the lights. She watches me intently with only a towel wrapped around my waist, enjoying every minute of it. She has a glow about her that makes her goddess-like with the fire now the only source of light in the room.

"This is perfect," she says, stepping closer and waiting for me to finish setting up the comfortable pile of blankets and pillows.

"All set," I say once I deem it ready, and she drops the towel and hurriedly covers herself under the blankets. I join her and pull her against me, the scent of her wet hair engulfing me.

"I love this." She turns over onto her back, pulling up the blanket, just covering the top of her breasts. I reach to trace the outlines of her face with my thumb. "So, what else did you have in mind for me tonight, Aldrenn?"

Aldrenn. My name on her lips causes me to stop abruptly, her look of salacious blue blazing through me. "Say that again," I say, my voice low.

Maven smiles wide. "You like hearing your full name?"

"Only from your lips," I say.

She blushes in response, biting her lip before she asks, "What about Captain?"

God, the things this woman does to me.

"Did I say that right?" she asks.

I can't even respond. Instead, I let out a sound that is nothing short of a growl, and she laughs loudly, throwing her head back. I graze my mouth up and down her neck, her throat vibrating as her laugh moves through her. I hold her like that for just a second longer, then she moves so she is on top of me. She pulls back, and her eyes scan my chest while I admire her body, especially her breasts coated in firelight. She's perfect. She slowly lowers herself to me, and I watch as her breasts sway, big and heavy as they skate over my stomach then my chest until they rest against me. I feel like I can't breathe at the pure perfection of it all. Her hair falls over me, shielding my face from the firelight. If there's a heaven, then this is it. I want this forever, right here.

"The night is almost over. We only have this." Her voice is so full of sadness, it nearly breaks me.

"No. No we don't." I kiss her like it's a promise, and that's all I can give her—mark her and ravage her so that she will remember this night forever. When we are through, I lay her softy on her back and then lie beside her, our hands intertwined as we lie there, listening to our breathing calm until the only sound is the crackling of the fire. We stay like this for several minutes, and for a moment, I think she's fallen asleep.

"Maybe you should stay," she suddenly says. She turns to face me on her side, recognizing the confusion on my face. "Maybe you should stay on Earth."

My heart aches that the thought crossed her mind. I take her face in my hands. "No. That isn't my life anymore."

She scans my face. "It just . . . It sounds like you were born to be a captain, Renn—to lead people. This life seems so below you."

The words ache in my chest. "No. That's not even close to the truth, Mave. Even back then, I think I always knew that this was where I truly belonged. I think I was searching for this place before I even knew it. I will make things right, and then I'm coming back to you. I promise."

She runs her fingers up and down my forearm, then intertwines them with mine, a pained expression furrowing her brow. "You don't know how long it could be, do you?" I'm torn on what to say and do, and when I can't answer, she whispers softly, "Weeks? Months? Please just tell me."

I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. "It will be at least a year of travel alone. Six months to get to Earth then six months back. I don't know how long it will take to get things settled once we get there."

She doesn't say anything as I watch her accept the fact that it could be much longer than she initially thought.

"Does that change things for you?"

Her hand tightens around mine. "No, Renn. Never." I watch her azure eyes glaze a bit before she speaks again. "I don't want to think about these things, but what if you can't come back? Nate said it was the plan, but it doesn't mean something else won't happen."

The words stab me over and over, because it is the truth, I just didn't think I would have to say it. I should have known better than to skate over the facts with her.

"Listen to me. If there is one thing I know for sure, it's that, that day—as horrible as it was—brought me here to you, and I'm not letting that slip away, Maven. Even if I die trying, there is nothing that would make me change my mind. I belong here, with you." I take her hand and place it over my heart, then place my hand over hers, feeling the thrumming of her heart in my palm.

"I love you," she whispers. I pause, taking a breath. She still seems to make me nervous, even now.

"Mave, when I look at you I'm home." Her breath is unsteady. "I'm coming back." I say, and her blue eyes glisten as she smiles.

I pull her into me, and she falls asleep not long after. I rest my head against hers as I watch her breathe in and out, her beauty only showcased more in the glow of firelight. The heaviness of sleep never comes for me, but as I hold her against me, watching the night slowly fade, I can't hold the tears in any longer. They fall, one by one, sliding down into her hair. And I know I will never feel completely broken and whole all at the same time ever again.