CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

Maven

I'm not sure what I expected when it came to Nate, but the handsome, dark-skinned man I see standing next to Renn when I step outside the cabin is a good surprise. He's incredibly attractive, but in a different way than Renn. Nate is pretty, while Renn is rugged. I can only imagine the damage these two could cause together, breaking hearts left and right from just one look. Shy spies me and runs over, causing Renn and Nate to snap their heads in my direction. Nate gives me a wide-toothed grin, so I smile back.

"Mave." Renn holds out his hand for me to join them. I feel nervous as they both watch me while I make my way over. "Nate, this is Maven. Maven, this is Lieutenant Nathan Hayden."

Nate gives him an irritated look, then rolls his eyes. "Nice to meet you, Maven." It takes me a second to realize that he's speaking my language.

I stammer, trying to respond, but I'm too shocked to put anything together. Nate laughs, loud and hardy, and I turn to Renn, confused. "Wait. What? How?"

Renn laughs then urges him closer. "Let me show you."

Nate obeys then turns his head to the side, folding his ear forward slightly, revealing a small, round device stuck on the back. The translator. The details Renn explained briefly the night of the attack vaguely come to my mind.

"Oh," I say, blushing slightly only for a second or two. "Explain to me how this works again," I say smiling toward Nate, but Renn is the one who speaks.

"The translator deciphers the language it hears, then connects to the part of the brain that is associated with language development and provides neurofeedback so the user can translate the speech. In turn, it helps you learn the language faster. It usually takes a person a good week to really start to understand the language."

"Except for me, right, Captain?" Nate says with obvious pride, and though I can understand what he says, it does sound off somehow.

Renn rolls his eyes. "Nate here is gifted, which really means he's too smart for his own good. He learns things at a much quicker pace."

It takes Nate a couple of extra seconds to decipher what Renn says, the AI translating for him, then he gives him a look somewhere between annoyed and pleased. I like seeing Renn interacting with Nate. I imagine it probably resembles how Tasha and I act around each other—relaxed but comfortable giving each other a hard time when appropriate. I notice Renn keeps watching my face, almost to gauge what I think about Nate, and to be honest, it feels like I know him already.

It must be so strange for Renn to see his worlds colliding almost literally.

"Should we go inside and . . . talk?" I ask, not exactly sure what to do next. This is obviously a first for all of us, and so much has happened in the last day that it is starting to feel overwhelming. We clearly don't know exactly how this will all play out, having never been in a situation like this before.

"Yes," Renn says with an added light in his face as he looks back and forth from Nate to me. We wander back into the house with Shy in tow. "I'll get a fire going," Renn says, hanging his jacket near the door. Nate flops onto the couch.

"So, Maven. You probably don't like me very much right now," he says. I fold my arms in front of me.

"Why do you say that? Because you're taking Renn with you back to Earth?"

His eyes go wide for a moment. "Wow, Renn really did tell you everything then."

"He did," I confirm.

"And you don't care that he's from an entirely different planet?" Renn gives Nate a look that reads watch it, but I don't mind. I know Tasha would be doing the same thing if she didn't know the guy I was claiming to be in love with. Especially if he were from a different planet. It feels weird even thinking that, let alone hearing it out loud.

"No. Not at all." He cocks an eyebrow at me, and I can't help but laugh. "Sorry. You just remind me a lot of my friend, Tasha," I say. Renn comes to stand next to me now that the fire is going.

"Nate and Tasha actually have a lot in common. Both talk us into doing things we don't want to. It's kind of annoying, actually," Renn says, then smirks at Nate.

"If you're talking about the time we got lost in that asteroid field, that doesn't count—that was a dare."

Renn rolls his eyes. "He was always getting me into trouble, to say the least."

Nate grabs a pillow to chuck at him. Just then, Renn's phone starts buzzing. He gives me a look, and I laugh lightly.

These damn phones are always interrupting everything, his eyes seem to say.

Renn kisses me quickly on the cheek before making his way over to the door. "It's the shop. This will just take me a minute. Be nice," he says, shrugging his coat on again.

"Which one of us are you talking to?" I ask.

"Both of you. I'll only be gone for a few minutes." Nate does a sort of a half salute, and I give him a reassuring smile as Shy follows him outside and he shuts the door softly behind him.

"I've never seen him like this before," Nate says.

"Yeah, I'm sure it's weird seeing him living such a different way of life."

Nate chuckles softly to himself.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"That's not what I meant," he says, smiling. I move to sit next to him on the couch and wait for him to go on. "I mean I've never seen Renn in love."

His words surprise me. I shake my head. "I'm sure that's not true," I say with a sad smile.

"I've known him for a long time, and I may not have seen him for six years, but I've never heard him talk about anyone like this, or act like this around anyone ever. You mean a great deal to him." His voice is kind as he holds my gaze.

"I don't want him to go," I suddenly say, my voice quieter than I mean it to be.

Nate gives me a sad smile. "I know."

"Will he come back?" I ask.

"Nothing is ever a guarantee in space." Nate scans my face like he's trying to decide if I can handle the truth, and he must decide I can because then he says, "And the association might need him to stick around for a while, but it's hard to say. What I do know for sure is that Renn is a loyal man, and once he finishes his duty, he will keep his promise to you."

I don't realize I'm crying until I feel a tear slide down my cheek. I spy a flicker of remorse in Nate's big brown eyes, but then he takes my hand and squeezes it softly.

"I'm trying to be strong for him, but . . ." I say, but can't finish the sentence.

"I'm sorry about everything you've been through. I can understand, to an extent, based on what Renn told me about what happened with Locke. It was brave of you to stay by his side. You are braver than you realize, especially now that you know everything. Renn is lucky to have found you," he says.

I smile at him because his genuineness warms my heart. "I'm sorry about your friends. I can't imagine what that must have been like," I say.

"Thank you, Maven. It was . . . the worst day of my life." He pauses for a moment, clearing his throat. "But I would do it again if given the choice. Renn is still my captain, afterall, but most importantly, he's my best friend."

This time, I squeeze his hand as I say, "I'm glad he has you, and that you'll be with him for whatever comes next."

"I'll take care of him. I promise," he says as he places a hand on top of mine. "Trust me when I say I wish we didn't have to do this, but it's vital, for many reasons."

I nod, feeling the emotion build in my chest. "I know, and I want him to finally have closure. I hope this will help him."

Nate just smiles back at me for a moment. "I can see why he loves you."

I smile, brushing away another tear just as Renn comes through the door with Shy, who runs toward Nate immediately—jumping onto his lap.

"First Maven, now Nate? I really am at the bottom of your list now, aren't I?" Renn says as he dramatically clenches his heart. Then he takes in our faces. "What were you guys talking about?"

Nate and I give each other a knowing look.

"Not much," I say, standing to wrap my arms around Renn's waist, allowing him to tug me in to plant a kiss on my head.

"I don't know about you two, but I'm starving." Renn pulls me with him over to the kitchen. "How about a nice meal, courtesy of Valery's wonderful cooking?" he says, pulling out a container from the fridge that seems to be a stew or soup.

"This should be interesting," Nate says, a bit skeptical.

"It will be delicious. I promise."

After a couple of hours of savoring the delicious soup, which Nate seemed to thoroughly enjoy, and a handful of stories of Nate and Renn's escapades, the afternoon fades away. Renn starts gathering the dishes, and I follow his lead, giving us some space to talk alone in the kitchen.

"I really like Nate," I say, handing him a bowl. He sets it down in the sink then pulls me into him.

"Oh, yeah?" he says, clearly pleased.

"Yeah." He turns to face me. "So speaking of Nate." His eyebrow arches. "Where is he sleeping tonight?" I ask with a whisper.

Renn gives me a wicked smile, and I blush. "That's a good question. Any suggestions?"

He places a hand on the counter next to me, leaning in. I look over my shoulder, and find Nate sitting on the couch with Shy. She seems to be distracting him enough so that he's unaware of the promiscuous position I'm in, because I can think of a handful of things I could do with Renn right now, especially when he's looking at me like this. I swallow heavily.

"I was thinking you and I could stay here, and Nate could stay at my place." He gives me a curious look. "I want to stay here because . . . you're everywhere here, and since you're leaving . . ." I look down. "I just want as much of you as I can get. In any way I can have you. If that makes sense."

He lifts my chin and scans my face, his eyes lingering on my mouth for a second or two longer. "Whatever you want, Mave." Then he leans down as he whispers in my ear, his lips grazing me softly. "But fair warning, I also have a few things in mind for what I want to do." He inhales before going on. "I don't want anyone to see, or hear, what I have in mind, except you and me." The heat in my core flows to every inch of my body.

Almost as if on cue, Nate yells over to us. "I get you guys need some alone time, but can you wait until I'm gone please." I blush, embarrassed, and Renn chuckles.

"Very subtle," he calls over to him, rolling his eyes. "Would you mind staying at Maven's tonight?" he asks as he walks over to the couch.

Nate stands and gives him a bemused look. "I'd sleep outside if it meant I didn't have to sleep on that ship for another night."

Renn nods. "Great."

"Not wasting any time," Nate says, smirking.

"Shut up. But yes, get out, please," Renn says, and I bite my lip to keep from looking too pleased.

"Fine, but I'm taking the dog with me," he says as Shy walks over to sit by his side.

"Looks like her mind is already made up," Renn replies, glaring a little at Shy. He kneels and rubs her head, and his face goes a little sad, like it's just now hitting him that he's leaving her behind too. Just another reason to add to the long list of why this is killing me.

"Take care of Nate, okay? He's new here," he tells her before standing. "Give me a minute and I'll meet you outside." Renn adds to Nate.

"Sure. See you in the morning, Maven."

"See you tomorrow." I watch him and Shy walk out the door, and before I can say or do anything, Renn pulls me into a kiss that is nothing short of heat and passion, instantly turning me into a puddle.

"I'll be right back." He doesn't wait for my response. He jogs toward the door, and his urgency only makes the tingling sensation on my lips travel all the way to my toes. I busy myself by cleaning dishes in the sink and wiping the table down. Just as I finish, Renn returns.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, just had to give him directions to your cabin."

I nod in response.

"So," he says, making his way over to me.

"I hate this," I say, my throat going tight, but I swallow it down.

"Me too," he says, stopping until he's just a few inches away from me. We stare at each other for a few moments, and then I can't wait any longer.

I reach up to whisper into his ear. "Renn. Don't hold anything back."

And so he doesn't.

Renn kisses me hard before sliding his tongue into my mouth. He pulls me up against him, our mouths never leaving each other as he picks me up swiftly, setting me down on top of the counter to pick up where we left off earlier that day.

"Tell me what you need, Maven. Tell me what you want."

I want everything, but I don't know where to begin.

"I want you to do everything you've ever thought of doing. Please." The "please" causes him to smirk.

"It's a long list. I don't know if we'll have enough time." The dark edge to his voice only makes me want it more, even as he reminds me that we only have this one night.

I bite my lip before I respond, "Try."

He drags me to the edge of the counter, sliding my leggings off my hips, then slides a finger inside me, stroking me in a perfect rhythm. My only response is a whimper, and he slides another finger inside. I'm so wet already; his perfect fingers only make me more slick with want.

"Are you serious, Mave?" I love hearing the animalistic gravel to his voice. I only want to hear it more.

"Only for you." I pant. "I've never done this for anyone besides you." It is the truth, my body has never responded this way to anyone else's touch. "If we only have tonight . . . I want to give you everything," I say as he works me and I grasp onto his shoulders, nails digging in his skin.

He quickly sends me over the edge completely, and I scream his name, throwing my head back as his rhythm slows, calming my nerves of pleasure. Before I can catch my breath, he picks me up, and I straddle him from the front as he places his hands on the back of my thighs and carries me to the loft. I bury my face in his neck, inhaling the sweet scent of his skin, a perfect blend of the auto shop and the forest, until he places me on top of the bed.

"That's one thing off the list," he says with a grin, pulling off his shirt, and I follow suit.

Then suddenly, what was a frenzy moments ago, turns into something more intimate and broken. It's the most invigorating and calamitous feeling, knowing that I have this man in front of me right now. But the fact that he will soon be millions of miles away is too much to comprehend. There will never be enough time to get enough of him. It leaves me with the sense of uncontrollable yearning to try to say and do all the things I've dreamt about doing with him. But if we only have this night, I'm not going to waste it. He places a strand of my hair behind my ear as he looks down at me.

"How can something be so perfect and hurt so much at the same time?" he says like he can read my mind.

"I don't want to be sad," I say softly. "I want to enjoy every minute I get with you, it's just . . ."

He slides his finger under my chin, lifting it so I look at him. "I will take you any way. Happy, sad . . . as long as I'm with you, I don't care. We can do, or not do, whatever you want."

My heart feels like it might explode with everything I feel for him. I stand up on tippy toes and kiss him with everything I have to give, brushing my chest against his. He kisses me back, but not with the urgency from moments before. His lips move on me as if they are worshiping. It's the only word I can use to describe it, and I want to do the same for him.

"Lie back," I say, barely above a whisper against his mouth. Renn doesn't question or hesitate as he lies down on the bed in front of me. "Don't move," I command. He licks his bottom lip nervously, and my want for him ignites further. I'll never get used to the fact that I can do things like that to him.

I want to memorize each part of him. The angles of his jaw. The curve of muscles on his forearm. The freckles splaying across his broad shoulders. The way he smells and tastes.

He lifts a hand to touch me.

"Not yet," I say.

If I can't have Renn here with me, then he will be mine forever in my mind.

The tears come quickly, and as they fall, I hate and love each and every drop that runs down my face. I don't even bother to try to wipe them away.

Eventually, Renn can't hold himself back any longer and he kisses me, and as I kiss him back, I can taste the saltiness on his lips. It's satisfying, tasting myself on him. Like I'm truly a part of him now, and they don't stop.

They are tears of sorrow for the things lost.

Tears of joy for the love that we've found.

Tears of longing for what could have been.

Tears for the time we had together and time that will never be.

I let those tears become each and every piece of me that belongs to him. Which is everything.

Because Renn is a light. A fallen star.

And he is mine.

Forever.