CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Maven

Itake a very long, very hot shower, taking my time to soak and breathe in the steam. Lying in bed for several days made me feel suffocated and gross; I needed the extra time just to feel alive again. I walk back to my room, a towel wrapped around myself with another one holding up my hair. I find my charger and plug my phone in. The cord is long enough for me to flop onto the bed while I wait for it to come to life. Once it does, I see I have three messages from Tasha and two missed calls from my mom. I message Tasha back first.

Tasha: Just checking in. Call me later.

Then there's a message from a few hours later.

Tasha: So, did you get a visit from a certain someone last night???

Then another one this morning.

Tasha: Call me!!!

Maven: Hey!

Tash messages me back immediately.

Tasha: Mave! Finally! So…did Renn come by last night?

I roll my eyes, smiling as I type back.

Maven: He did.

Tasha: AND?

Maven: I'll explain everything when I see you.

Tasha: You're going to make me wait? Seriously?

Maven: This is definitely an in-person conversation.

Tasha: Fine. Mom and I are heading back tomorrow, so we should be home in a few days at most, maybe sooner.

She sends another message before I can reply.

Tasha: So, are you okay? You kind of scared all of us for a minute there.

Maven: I'm completely fine. More than fine. And I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that to you guys.

Tasha: GOOD! You know we love you, right? We want you to be happy.

Maven: Of course I do.

Tasha: Good! I'll see you in a couple of days.

Maven: Be safe coming home. Love you!

Tasha: Love you too! And you better not leave out ANYTHING that happened with Renn.

Next, I call my mom.

"Thank goodness. I was getting so worried." Her exasperated tone doesn't go unnoticed.

"Hello to you too, Mom, and let me start by saying I am totally fine."

"I got in touch with Tasha when you didn't call me back," she says, ignoring my response completely.

"And what did she say?"

"That she hadn't talked to you and that she was sending Renn over to check up on you."

I sigh heavily.

"So did he? Is everything okay?" she inquires.

I take a moment to think of how to approach this conversation. "Yes, everything is fine, Mom. It was just a hard couple of days."

"I should have come up there to be with you. That was a mistake . . ."

"Mom, no. You can't run up here every time things get hard. That defeats the purpose of why I'm here."

She doesn't say anything for several seconds, and I don't know how to tell her what Renn did for me, or if she needs to know at all. I find it difficult to think of the right way to say it without making her worry or having her ask too many questions. But something I know without a doubt is that my time with Renn showed me that strength isn't earned by doing things in solidarity, it's about having the courage to face your challenges. It means never facing them alone. I think about saying this to her, but I don't.

"It's still a bit complicated, isn't it? Not knowing how to feel or what to do," she sighs.

I smile sadly, her words resonating with me for the first time in a long time. "It is. I feel guilty when I don't feel sad all the time, but ashamed to think of what Dad would say if I was just wallowing. You know?"

It's strange that we've never really spoken about this before, but for some reason, thoughts keep pouring from us both.

"I may not know a lot of things, but I do know this: Your father would have wanted you to be happy and live your life to the absolute fullest. He would have wanted you to live."

I choke back the tears, and I know she hears the strain in my voice as I reply, "Thank you, Mom." I pause for a moment. "And I should have called. I'm sorry. I just needed to process some things."

"I understand. I stayed home all day yesterday, but I'm going out with a few friends tonight to get out of this funk." My heart feels a bit lighter at this.

"That's great, Mom. I'm glad," I say with a small smile.

"So . . . you didn't answer my second question. What happened with Renn?"

Here we go.

"Nothing. He just came over to see if I was okay and then we hung out."

"Mm-hmm."

"What?"

"Why do I get the feeling you're leaving something out?"

"It was nothing. Like I said, I had a couple of bad days. Tasha told him I might need some company, so he came over, and that's it."

It's quiet on her end of the phone, yet so much could be said in these few seconds of silence. I know she's contemplating if she should push for more details or drop it for another time. Thankfully, she chooses the latter.

"Well, I'm glad he stopped by then. What are you up to today?"

"I'm going into town for a little bit. I'm planning to stop by the coffee shop."

"That sounds great. Message me later when you get home."

"I will. Have fun with your friends. I love you."

"I love you, too."

I tap the screen to end the call. I wasn't planning on that conversation going the way it did, but I'm glad nonetheless. It was just a few words, but they were words that my mom and I have danced around for years.

I look toward the bed, picturing Renn and me lying there, side by side, his arm around me. I don't push aside the satisfaction I feel that what happened on the retreat wasn't all in my head. I had started to wonder if he had even spared a thought for me at all, but after last night and this morning—whatever he felt for me, whatever friendship we had between us, I can tell it had consumed him as much as it had me.

I walk over to his side of the bed, picking up the pillow he laid on, bringing it to my nose to inhale his scent deeply. The muskiness that I've learned to recognize so well washes over me. Catching myself in the moment, I quickly throw it back onto the bed.

"Don't be creepy," I say aloud, turning to my closet to find something to wear to take on the day, truly grateful that I have another day to live, and for the people in my life who make it worth living.

I walk into the coffee shop, book and sketchpad in hand. After a little while of reading, I soon find myself scanning the same sentence over and over again, so I pull out my sketchbook and pencils. I'm glad I grabbed them on my way out as an afterthought. I haven't sketched or designed anything in months, so I'm surprised how quickly I lose myself in the blank sheets of paper. It helps distract me from replaying last night, and this morning, over and over in my head.

What does this mean for Renn and my relationship? We are friends, but more . . . so now what? Just as I'm about to finish with my second cup, my hands now smudged with residue from the pencils, Valery walks into the shop and spots me by the window.

"Maven, my dear. So good to see you!"

"Hey, Val. Good to see you too!" I gesture for her to sit across from me. "Do you want to join me?"

Her bright smile fades. "I wish I could, but I need to get back to the store. We are a bit busy at the moment. I think everyone is stocking up for the storm." She must read the confusion on my face as she adds, "Did you not get the weather alert?"

I scan my phone and find no missed notifications. "I thought the storm had passed?"

"Oh, well, there's another one on the way. It may even snow. It's supposed to last a couple of days at least, if it doesn't blow over again."

The first snowfall of the year was never to be taken lightly around here, that much I knew. "Thanks for letting me know. I probably should be heading home soon if that's the case," I say, looking out the window.

"That would probably be for the best, dear. Are you going to be there all alone?" she says, raising her eyebrow.

"Yeah . . . probably." I give her a narrowed look. "Why do you ask?"

Valery makes a face that I know all too well.

"I just happened to overhear someone earlier at the store mention that they saw Renn turning onto Spruce Road last night. Or at least they thought it was him. It's hard to miss him, especially when he is riding that motorbike."

I have to force myself to not roll my eyes. I highly doubt that she "overheard" the conversation; whoever had seen Renn turn down my road probably couldn't wait to pass it along to Valery. Small towns are no good at keeping secrets, and gossip sometimes feels like a competition.

"I see. Well, yeah, Renn did come by last night. Just to check in." Valery raises her eyebrow again, hinting she needs more details. "And . . . we might see each other later, I don't know." Val's smile widens to a full, toothy grin, and I can't help but roll my eyes this time. "We are just friends, Val."

"Oh, of course. Of course," she says with a wink. It's pointless to try to convince Val of something if she already has her mind made up, so my only option is to get out of here before anything else can be said.

"Well, I guess I better head home," I say, starting to gather up my belongings. She watches me as I stand, pulling me into a quick hug.

"Be safe, and call if you need anything."

I squeeze her back, remembering that, while it's a bit intrusive, she did it out of love, pretty much how everyone does anything in Solitude Ridge.

"I will, Val. Thank you."

I pull up to the cabin and the storm hits. Perfect timing. It doesn't gradually begin either, the hard pounding of rain is almost instant as it bounces off the roof and ground. I quickly run inside, trying to cover my hair as best I can without a hood or umbrella to shield me. The cabin has a standard heating system, but if the power goes out, the fire will keep me plenty warm and cozy. I prefer it, especially on cold, rainy evenings like this one. I can still read and sketch, but the ambiance would be perfect in the firelight and crackling of wood.

"Looks like we aren't going for that walk then," I say to myself, looking out the window.

After begrudgingly changing into some comfortable clothes, I make a simple dinner, and just as I'm about to sit down at the kitchen table, all the lights suddenly switch off. Everything goes deathly quiet, the kind of quiet when you know the power is going to be off for a while. I can just feel it in the air, which isn't surprising with this storm. I pull my raincoat and boots on quickly to go out around the back of the house for some firewood, only to find none.

How did I miss that?

Without the fire to keep warm in a power outage, it could end up being a couple of extremely cold days, especially if it does end up snowing. I sigh, defeated, and run back inside. I pull out a lantern from a nearby closet, setting it on the table to eat the rest of my dinner.

I tap my finger against the table in thought. I do have the option of staying somewhere else until the storm passes, and I can't help the tinge of excitement thinking about the possibility of going somewhere in particular. My cheeks heat at the thought, a little embarrassed with myself. I dig around in my bag, looking for my phone, and find I have no missed calls or messages. Renn is most likely still at the auto shop, and he could be there a few more hours. He said he'd call, so I guess I'll have to be patient and finish my soup in a mood of boredom.

Soon, the lantern is the only source of light. I searched the supply closet to find more to spread throughout the cabin now that the normal mountain nighttime darkness is amplified, with the stars and moon nowhere to be seen. I try distracting myself with my books, snacks, and sketching, but it doesn't help at all as I keep checking my phone every few minutes.

It's a good thing I have a portable charger because I am draining the battery.

I figure I have three options. Tasha and Mina's place is empty and probably still has power since Main Street has back up generators. Any other time, I would have liked having the bookshop all to myself, but not tonight. I could call Valery, or pretty much anyone else in town, but option three is where I land. I won't deny this desire wishing I was somewhere else . . . with someone else. Plus, the storm hasn't faltered in the slightest; the rain is still coming down just as much as it was when it first started. I guess my fourth option is to stay here in the freezing, pitch-black but . . . I could just call Renn, my third option. His place is much closer—another thing to add to my list of reasons to call him and not anyone else. Before I can talk myself out of it, I pick up the phone and tap his name.

In one ring, he answers.

"Mave, you okay?"

"Hi to you too, and yes, I'm fine," I say, smiling.

"Sorry, it's just you've never called me before."

He's not wrong, and now that he's brought it up, I realize I should've just messaged him.

"Oh, well, yeah. Um, are you still at work?" I quickly ask to cover my faltering.

"No, I just got home actually. I was going to clean up . . . then see what you were up to." I blush with embarrassment. If I would have waited one more minute, I wouldn't seem so desperate. And maybe I am, but at this point, I don't think he thinks that based on his response. "Are you home?" he asks, and I can hear Shy's paws clacking on the floor on his end of the line.

"Yeah. I got home a few hours ago after going to the coffee shop for a while." I swallow nervously. "But my power went out, and I'm out of firewood."

The pause on his end is entirely too long. I hold my breath for what feels like hours.

"I'm sure it's just a breaker or something. I could fix it, but . . ." He inhales deeply like he's thinking. "It will probably have to wait until tomorrow, when it's not raining as hard." I hear the smirk on his mouth. I get the feeling that he could fix it now if he really wanted to. But no, he's going to make me work for it. "So . . ."

"So . . ." I play along, smiling to myself as it remains quiet on his side for another second or two, and for a moment, I wonder if he isn't picking up on what I'm hoping he will say, but thankfully, he puts me out of my misery.

"You could come stay at my place if you want."

The wide grin that comes across my face is nothing short of pure victory. "Okay, well, I mean, if you don't mind." I like playing this game with him.

"Not at all. Plus, it's not like we haven't slept together before."

I stand shocked and can't think fast enough. Then Renn starts laughing. Just when I thought I'd won . . . Damn him.

"I'm kidding. You can take the bed, and I'll sleep on the couch."

"No, Renn. I'll take the couch."

"Maven. No, I'm sleeping on the couch. You'll sleep in my bed." My bed. The thought of being cozied up in his bed, in his sheets that smell like him, gives me a tingly feeling in my core as I consider what that experience will be like—probably heavenly.

"I'll take the couch," I say sternly, blushing over the other thoughts I have of Renn's bed.

He sighs deeply.

"You're so stubborn, but fine, I won't force you."

"Thank you. I'll head over in a little bit. I just need to pack a few things."

"A few things? How long are you planning on staying, exactly?" he says, teasing, and it makes my stomach flip again. I like bantering with Renn, but I also secretly hope we aren"t going to dance around each other all night in this flirty game of not talking about what's really on our minds. There are things that I still need to say, and so much more I want to know about him.

"Well, how long until I wear out my welcome?"

He goes quiet again for a few beats.

"You would never. Not with me."

And there it is, that flirtation turned serious, the tone of his voice making me weak in the knees. He always does this, charms me then hits me with something deeper, and it always feels unexpected but comforting at the same time.

"Well, I guess we will find out if you mean it." I say, cheeks burning.

"Do you want me to come pick you up?" He asks. I don't want to seem completely helpless, so I quickly respond, "Oh that's okay. I don't mind."

"Alright then."

"I'll see you soon."

"See you soon, and Mave . . . be careful. I'll be waiting for you." He ends the call and I realize that it's the first time he's called me "Mave".