CHAPTER TWELVE

Renn

Iwasn't exaggerating when I told Tasha and Maven that it was a last-minute decision to join the retreat. Luckily, I already had all the gear I needed for the journey. The hard part was deciding what else to take with me. I tossed and turned about it the night before, wondering if I should bring the beacon, but thought better of it for the fact that someone might discover it and start asking unwanted questions. It is much safer to keep it at home, even if that means it'll be awhile until I can check it. I didn't expect how strange it would feel leaving it behind, like a weight has been lifted off of me. It's freed me from having to make the choice to pull out the transmitter or not, waiting for the unchanging results again and again. It was a risky move, so I left the transmitter on, but the likelihood of anyone picking up or sending a message while I'm away is near zero since it hasn't happened a single time in five years. And besides, watching Maven's face as I rode up this morning was both satisfying and amusing.

Worth every worry I had. And yes, I was watching her.

It took some serious control not to laugh at our exchange this morning, but I know I saw something else in the radiant blue of her eyes—I may even dare to say it was enthusiasm, knowing that I would be coming along.

I'd ended up toward the back of the group as we set off this morning, and every once in a while, when I would glance up the trail, I would spot Maven, her long, dark hair pulled back, swinging as it draped down her back. I also couldn't help but notice the scars on her knees and legs. The largest is on her upper right thigh, while others aren't as noticeable, but because of the shorts she's wearing, it's hard not to stare. Some marks seem to have been made with precision, while others are more jagged. I assume they must be from the accident and possibly surgery, or surgeries. Seeing them on her skin made me realize just how severe the accident must have been, but what struck me most of all was that she isn't shy about revealing them to the world. She carries them with grace, and I decide it's the most attractive thing about her—that she bears it all with pride and won't let anything limit her, not even people's stares and whispers, which are hard to miss.

When Valery just so happened to mention, the night before the retreat, that Maven was going this year with Tasha, I immediately felt an internal pull, a gravitational force, drawing me to her. It wasn't going away, it only seemed to be getting harder to ignore.

And so, a few hours later, I find myself hiking through the thick wilderness with people I know and some I do not, but it doesn't matter who's here, because I'm only here for one reason—one person.

We continue our journey after the break, and I stay close to Tasha and Maven for the next few miles. One minute, the group is moving at a good pace through the evergreen landscape, the next, we abruptly halt when a scream of pain rings out through the trees. I don't see it happen, but the sound alone tells me that it's not good. Without thinking, I push through the gathered crowd and discover that one of the guides has twisted their ankle. It already looks swollen where she lies on the dirt path. I hadn't intended to intervene, but Asher, our head guide who is supporting her, spots me.

"Renn. Would you mind taking a look?" Asher has been leading these hiking retreats for the last few years, and when a little girl went missing a couple of years ago, he and I covered a lot of ground together, so he's familiar with my skills and background.

"Sure," I say, sliding off my pack before kneeling next to Talla, a local, but I don't know her well. She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. "I just need to examine it closer. I'll be gentle, but it may hurt a little," I say, keeping my voice calm.

She only nods in response. She winces as I place my hands on the swollen ankle, turning it ever so slightly, causing her to grip the arm of another guide, holding her tighter.

"It could be a bad sprain, but I think it's broken." I pause. "I'm sorry," I say, looking at her, and she gives me a tight-lipped smile.

"I'm so sorry, everyone," she says, glancing around the group, tears in her eyes.

"It's okay, T. It could have happened to any of us," Asher says, kneeling to lay a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Let me get in touch with the office crew to see what we can do." Asher steps away to search for a clearing to make the call using the satellite phone. The rest of the hiking group waits, some taking the opportunity to rest while others appear a little on edge with concern. One of the other guides briefly goes through the group to explain the situation.

After a few minutes, Asher returns, looking slightly relieved. "I radioed in, and a team can be at the trailhead within a couple of hours. If we can get back down to the first marker, they should be able to meet us with a stretcher to get her down from that point." We nod along. "The problem is, that means two of us will have to abandon the group. Leaving only two guides to lead the rest of you to camp for the night." The group exchanges worried glances, and I already know what that means.

"I can do it," I say. They all look at me and then at Asher.

"You sure?" he asks.

"If you're concerned about leaving only two guides here with the group, I'd be happy to go with one of you to get Talla to the meeting point. If we leave now and then hike back at a fast pace, we should be able to get to camp before we completely lose the light."

Asher glances to the other guides for their reactions. "Renn, can you give us a moment?"

"Of course." I step a few feet away as they talk.

I search through the group until I find Maven and Tasha looking on from afar, both of them wearing worried expressions. For a moment, Maven's eyes meet mine, and maybe I imagine it, but the worry in her eyes seems to deepen before she quickly looks away, saying something to Tasha. Tash shrugs in response. Soon, the guide group breaks from each other and Asher steps forward.

"Talla is comfortable with it, so we all agreed it would be okay for you to go." He leans in closer so only I can hear him as he says, "Of course, I know you're more than capable with your experience."

I nod. "I understand."

Asher slaps me lightly on the back before instructing the other guides to prepare for next steps. Maven and Tasha keep watching me intently, and I make my way toward them to give them the news. Tasha parts her lips to speak as I approach but is interrupted.

"Is everything okay?" Maven quickly asks.

"She needs to be carried down to where a medical team can meet up to take her the rest of the way." They seem to already know what I'm going to say next. "I'm going with another guide to take her, and we will hike back as quickly as we can to get to camp before sundown."

Maven doesn't say anything at first, staring at her boots.

"Do you need us to carry anything for you? A lighter load may help the journey back," Tasha says.

"That would actually be great if you don't mind."

"Of course we don't," she replies. I rummage through my pack and give them my tent and sleeping bag, both bulky items, but not too heavy.

"You sure you don't mind?" I ask, zipping my pack back up.

"Not at all," Tasha says. I turn to Maven, but she's looking away, adjusting the straps of her pack with the added items.

"I'll be seeing you two at camp before nightfall. Hopefully," I say, winking just as Maven's eyes meet mine again.

"See you later," Tasha says.

I turn, taking a few steps, but before I'm too far, Maven calls out to me, "Be careful, Renn." Her voice is smooth, but it carries concern. I turn around to meet a gaze of azure.

"I will," I say with a smirk.

Maven fully smiles back this time, and it gives me a boost of confidence I didn't know I needed. I don't look back to see if she watches as me and another guide, Trey, situate Talla, placing her arms around our necks while we support her legs and lift her between us. We say our farewells and start the trip back down while the rest of the group continues up the winding path through the forest. I don't get a chance to find Maven again in the crowd, but I can feel her eyes watching me until we're too far away to be seen, vanishing from view.

Sure enough, the medical crew met us about a mile out from the trailhead. Trey and I said little to each other as we carried Talla down the trail, mostly just to conserve our strength, but I encouraged her to talk to us, if only to distract her from the pain, and it seemed to help. She was extremely grateful for the help, and I was happy to offer it, because by the time she was strapped into the stretcher, her ankle had almost doubled in size. I feel a little bit guilty, because I did bring the tin of healing ointment, and I was tempted to use it, but I couldn't risk it. At least not yet. The only reason I would ever consider using it would be in a life or death situation, or on myself if no one could witness the medical miracle. It had been an adjustment, having been used to my planet's more advanced medicine for so long. But there were no body scanners or instant healing remedies here. As soon as the medical team gets her settled, Trey and I make the trek once again up the mountain. We move at a decent pace, both of us experienced and in shape enough to take on the challenge.

"Have you worked in the medical field?" Trey asks when we stop for a quick water break.

"I know some of the basics, but that's all."

He takes another swig of water. "So you served in the military, right?"

I know he's just trying to make small talk, and similar questions about my background have often been brought up before. Truthfully, a military career might be the closest thing to what my line of work used to entail. I always answer that inquiry with the same response.

"My previous profession was very similar to military work, but I left some time ago due to personal reasons."

That phrase usually makes people stop asking questions, or they will change the subject, just as Trey does now as he straps his water canteen back onto his pack and says, "Nice."

We don't speak the rest of the way, focused on our steps, moving quickly. The sun's rays cast long shadows through the trees. The air nips with a chill, but the cold is welcome as it cools our overexerted limbs. We're hot and sweaty from the intense speed, but I can tell he likes the challenge as much as I do.

The forest was already quiet, but as the night creeps in, the stillness becomes more menacing. Pitch blackness is familiar to me. I witnessed a very different kind of darkness in space—the abyss and void that never ended. Those images remain with me and always will. There's nothing like it.

I'm about to pull out a flashlight to help guide us in the failing light, but spot the warm glow of a campfire, and soon we come upon camp, the light from the small city of tents helping to guide us the rest of the way. Someone must have spotted us, because I hear a whistle, and the hikers still lingering by the fire jump up and start clapping.

Asher is the first to get to us, shaking our hands in gratitude. "Well, you waited till the last minute, but you made it just like you said you would. Thank you both." I nod, and Trey starts to give Asher the details of the journey and the update on Talla. I scan the camp, many people chatting happily, and then I see her. Maven sees me too and speed walks over to me.

"You made it!" she says, relieved.

"Cutting it close, but we did indeed," I say.

We hold each other's gaze for a few more seconds before she says, "You must be exhausted. Come sit down." I follow her to the fire, and she leads me to where Tasha is sitting.

"Renn! The hero once again!" Tasha exclaims as I sit next to her, shrugging off my pack and rolling my shoulders.

"I'll go grab you something to eat," Maven says and walks off.

"So, how tired are you?" Tasha asks. I stretch out my legs in front of me and then loosen the laces on my boots.

"Honestly, not too tired," I say.

"Show off," she says, hitting me in the arm. "I knew you'd be fine, but Maven has been on high alert since you left. She's been overly anxious," she says, pursing her lips with raised eyebrows. Her very subtle way of saying Maven was worried about you. I give her a sidelong glance as I take a swig of my water.

Maven appears again with food in hand, which appears to be some kind of rice and vegetable plate. She hands it to me as she says, "It's actually not bad, but I won't lie, I'm already looking forward to fresh food again."

I smile up at her. "Thank you."

"Will Talla be okay?" Tasha asks.

"I think so," I say before taking a bite of the food. A few people come over to offer their praise. "I was happy to do it," I say what feels like a hundred times.

The crowd disperses as people begin to retire to their tents for the night. I quickly finish the food so I can get my own tent up. "I better get set up before it's too dark," I say to Tasha. Maven has her back to me and is in the middle of a conversation with Larissa, another local.

"We got it set up for you," Tasha says, looking pleased. "Well, actually, I set up our tent and Maven set up yours." I turn back to Maven, but Larissa is stealing her attention.

"Will you tell her I said thank you?"

"Of course. Let me show you where your tent is," Tasha says, and I follow her. I glance over my shoulder again, finding Larissa still talking to Maven, seeming to be in a deep conversation. "She gets that a lot," Tasha says, following my gaze.

"What do you mean?" I ask as I walk beside her.

"I'm sure Larissa has been dying to ask her about everything," she states, very matter-of-factly. "She puts on a brave face, but she hates it," Tasha adds. I don't say anything, thinking back to that night at the coffee shop—Jamie's utter disbelief at seeing her standing there in front of him, like it wasn't true. "She's used to it, all the questions and what not. I worry about her, too," she says.

"I'm not worried about her," I reply a little too quickly, completely giving me away. Tasha's lips turn into a smile.

"Your face says otherwise," she retorts, and I bite my lip to keep from saying more. "Anyway, here we are." She motions to the two tents nestled near each other.

"Thanks again for your help. I appreciate it."

"No problem. Glad you made it back safe." She pats me on the arm before disappearing into her tent.

The low chatter of people settling in their tents drifts through the camp, and beams from flashlights appear here and there. I look back one last time to Maven, still sitting by the fire with Larissa. Tash is right; I do worry about her, but not in the same way I suspect Tova, Mina, and Tasha do. I worry because I know how utterly terrifying it feels to face the things we've kept hidden away for so long.