Chapter 10

Chapter 10

J oline whirled around and stalked off before the tears burning behind her eyes trickled out. How dare he compare her to Nettie? How dare he reject her?

I'll show him. I'll join the church and prove I meant to do it.

But even as she thought it, her commitment felt as hollow as her heart did without Mark. Once again, he'd cut her adrift and opened a vast gulf between them. Only this time, he'd made it permanent.

She rushed down the steps to the first floor and bolted out of the STAR Center. Her escape resembled the night she'd fled from Nettie and Daed's budding relationship. Then, too, she'd been filled with fury. Daed had betrayed her, replacing her in his life with a new love. Now Mark had done the same. Only his new love was not another woman, but God.

Why did everyone she loved reject her? Abandon her? Mamm had died, leaving Joline alone and grieving. Then Daed had chosen a new bride over his oldest daughter, who'd spent years caring for him. Now Mark had rejected her, leaving her crushed and heartbroken.

As she had so many years ago, she ran heedlessly down the sidewalk with no aim in mind but to escape the pain. When she finally stopped, out of breath, she stood in front of the teen club where she'd first seen Mark. Its windows were dark and empty, as dark and empty as her life.

Joline leaned her cheek against the rough brick wall and let tears run down her face. With fifteen-year-old fervor, she'd fallen head over heels for Mark inside this building. Her crush had grown into full-blown love once she'd seen him again. And now?

She'd die an alt maedel because she could never love anyone else the way she loved Mark. If she had to live her life alone, she would. But first, she'd prove to him she meant what she said. She'd take those baptismal classes just to show him.

* * *

Mrs. Vandenberg had warned Mark about getting entangled with Joline, saying it would lead to heartbreak. And it had. His spirit lay shattered.

Although he loved Joline with all his heart, he could never date her, because he'd always wonder if her commitment to her faith had been genuine. Despite knowing he'd done the right thing, Mark hadn't anticipated the pain of being around Joline as they prepared for the New Year's Eve concert.

It didn't matter if he looked anywhere but at her. He sensed her presence all around him. Every note she sang pierced his heart.

Even worse, he hated himself for crushing Joline's spirit. Instead of her usual bubbly exuberance, she appeared glum. It took all his willpower and constant prayer to keep his feet planted rather than giving in to the temptation to pull her close and comfort her.

After the New Year's concert, Mark intended to go somewhere else and find a different job, but Mrs. Vandenberg asked him to stay on for another year.

"I'm joining the church," he explained. "I'm sure the bishop wouldn't approve of me giving music lessons."

"Let's talk to him together. You're doing so much to bring in kids who'd otherwise be getting in trouble or joining gangs, perhaps that will weigh into his decision."

Mark doubted it, but he rode with her to talk to his bishop, who agreed to pray about the decision and encouraged Mark to do likewise.

Until now, Mark hadn't prayed about his future. When he did, God gave him peace about staying at the center and reassurance he'd made the correct decision about Joline.

Mrs. Vandenberg reinforced both choices on the way home. "I know it isn't easy to stick to your plan. But someday, Joline will be grateful for your strength. If she were in a relationship, she'd focus her attention on you rather than on the Lord."

"I had a feeling that she'd only join the church to please me."

"Unfortunately, you're correct. Joline has so much potential, but until she puts aside her rebellion and follows God's will, she'll never be able to channel her talents the way He has planned for her."

"You think us breaking up will help her do that?"

"It definitely will. You're sailing in the right direction. Don't let Joline's gales blow you off course." Mrs. Vandenberg patted Mark's hand. "Keep praying for her. God has something special in mind for her."

Mark's heart swelled with both joy and sorrow. Joy that he could play a small part in the Lord's plan for her life. Sorrow that he wouldn't be around to see it.

Mrs. Vandenberg's car pulled into the parking garage at the STAR Center, and they both took the elevator upstairs. Just before they parted in the hallway, she said, "Remember, ‘joy cometh in the morning.' God will reward you greatly for this sacrifice."

The talk with Mrs. Vandenberg helped Mark stay the course as they had their final practice the afternoon of New Year's Eve. Tonight, he'd say goodbye to his bandmates. Several months from now, most of them would be applicants in the same baptismal class. All except Jerry and Joline.

Mark prayed God would guide both of them back to the faith. Mrs. Vandenberg's reassurance that Joline had a special future ahead kept Mark from going back on his plan.

An hour later, Mrs. Vandenberg brought news from the bishop, who said God had given Mark a talent and he should use it to help others. Mark had gotten the same confirmation through prayer, so he accepted the position at the STAR Center, even though it meant seeing Joline and living with a constant reminder of his loss.

That night, he gave his music everything he had in him. So did the others. Joline's voice soared over his in spine-chilling beauty. Yet, as they stopped playing to watch the star descend to the STAR Center lobby floor to ring in the New Year, it seemed each band member's heart sank with it. None of them joined the raucous cheers celebrating a fresh start because they were only one song away from telling each other goodbye. After that, the Amish Rebels would cease to exist.

* * *

Never had Joline been as thrilled as she was tonight. Being onstage with the Amish Rebels and belting out their lyrics was a dream come true. But she'd lost Mark, so this performance proved bittersweet. She poured all her heartache over him into the music.

Amari and Elise sat in the front row, gazing at Joline in admiration. The three of them had never imagined she'd meet the Amish Rebels in person, let alone sing with them. But here she was onstage as part of their band, and music flowed from all of them like honey.

Because Joline's parents had given her the freedom to make her own decisions, she planned to stay until midnight, see the star drop, and play "Auld Lang Syne." Then she'd stay out until the wee hours of the New Year talking to her friends.

Elise and Amari had comforted Joline when she'd confided in them. They held out hope she and Mark would work out their differences, but Joline sensed Mark's deep core of inner strength, a trait she admired in him, a trait that would keep him from caving in to pressure. And she respected him too much to try to sway him from his principles.

Joline always sang with her eyes closed, so she didn't notice someone had slipped into the room to listen. When she lifted her lashes, she sucked in a breath.

Right behind Elise and Amari sat Katie, glowering as Joline tinkled the keys for the next song. Her parents had ushered her siblings upstairs long before the concert started. Joline never expected anyone in her family to know about this. Somehow, she managed to keep moving smoothly through the intro. But her mouth was so dry, she wasn't sure she'd be able to sing.

Luckily, Mark always sang alone on the first verse, and she joined him for the chorus. Then, she had a solo in the second verse. Joline closed her eyes as soon as Mark began, though she usually focused on him. She had to shut out her stepsister's disdain. Katie's disapproval had thrown her so much, Joline almost missed her cue.

She came in one beat too late, but quickly matched her tempo to Mark's until they blended beautifully. The poignancy of this piece fit her mood, and she poured all her sadness and loneliness into the music. When they finished together, the crowd went wild. Whoops and hollers and a standing ovation.

Katie slipped from the room, no doubt going to tattle. What would their parents do when they found out?

Joline had agreed to pray about her choices, but she hadn't. Not even once. She'd done whatever she wanted with no regard for God's will. Maybe that's why her relationship with Mark had ended. But Joline couldn't pray that Mark would go on tour again and take her along. That desire definitely hadn't come from the Lord.

With Katie gone, Joline let the music transport her, take her to new heights. She even improvised. She got so into the tunes, she forgot her sorrow and exuded pure joy as the final song reached its crescendo.

The band had planned a break to watch the star drop at midnight. Then, they'd close with "Auld Lang Syne." A ripple of anticipation swelled through the crowd as everyone surged toward the lobby.

Joline stopped short. Standing in the doorway, grim-faced, stood Daed and Nettie. How long had they been there?

They didn't say a word because they didn't have to. Disapproval radiated off them. They kept a sharp eye on her as the star dropped. Though she longed to cheer with the crowd, knowing her parents were judging her every move kept her silent.

The exhilaration running through her as the crowd applauded had eased some of Joline's pain over Mark, but the loss throbbed like a toothache. And playing one final song, a tearjerker, would bring up all the agony of losing him.

Her parents trailed the crowd back into the auditorium and stood like sentinels by the exit. Joline closed her eyes and poured her sorrow into every note. She'd gotten so involved in the melody, she shut out everything except the haunting tune.

As the last note died away, Joline kept her eyes shut, hoping to hang on to the magic a little longer. But Elise and Amari rushed to the stage, embraced her, and squealed.

"I can't believe how good you were!" Amari jumped up and down in excitement.

Elise just shook her head. "You were up there onstage with those dreamboats. Lucky you!"

"I never could have done it without you." Joline had to give them credit. "If you hadn't recorded all the band's songs, I never would have known them well enough to do this."

The three of them hugged again.

"Let's do something to celebrate," Joline suggested. "First, let me introduce you to the band."

But as she turned to lead the way, the immovable wall of two angry parents blocked her way.

"Upstairs, Joline, now," Daed ordered.

She sent her friends a silent apology and headed for the elevator.

When they reached the apartment, Daed waved her toward the bedroom she shared with Katie. "We all need our sleep. We'll talk about this tomorrow."

Joline tossed and turned all night, dreading her punishment.

The next morning, when she rose, Daed said, "Pack your things. You're going to stay with Aenti Betty and Onkel Amos. You can help with your cousins and work at the farmer's market. We've arranged with their bishop for you to take baptismal classes there."

"But I don't know anyone in their g'may ."

"All the better. Maybe that will give you time to concentrate on reading the articles of the Dordrecht Confession and prepare for baptism."

All the walls seemed to close in around Joline, cutting off her escape. Her aenti and onkel were stricter than Daed, and her cousins were young. She'd have no one to talk to, no one to confide in.

"Wait!" Joline pleaded. "This isn't fair. You gave me my freedom. I shouldn't be sent away because of it."

Daed's voice was low and sorrowful. "Look me in the eye, Joline, and tell me you prayed about singing in that band."

Joline couldn't do that.

One hour later, she was in Mrs. Vandenberg's Bentley, being driven to her aenti and onkel 's house in Mount Joy. She'd had no chance to say goodbye to the band members, Mark, Elise, or Amari before she was whisked away.

* * *

Ever since New Year's Eve, Mark had not seen Joline. Though he missed her terribly, it was for the best. He could breathe easier. But he couldn't help wondering where she was.

He was unprepared for the emptiness inside when Mrs. Vandenberg informed him Joline had gone to stay with her aenti and onkel . Mark's throat closed up, and he couldn't ask his most pressing questions: Would she choose to take baptismal classes? If she did, would she mean it? Would he ever see her again?