Chapter 9

Chapter 9

J oline continued attending band practices, and they all—well, all but Mark—assured her she was doing well, but he still avoided her. She would have plunged into despair if Mrs. Vandenberg hadn't asked her to organize the yearly nativity play. Making costumes and helping the youngsters rehearse took up a lot of her time in the weeks leading up to Christmas Eve.

The play would be onstage first, followed by the Amish Rebels. The band needed most of the stage behind the curtain, so Joline had the children perform the nativity in front of the curtain to allow the band to set up.

For the dress rehearsal, she'd set up the stable backdrops and manger before the band carted their instruments backstage. Only a curtain separated her from Mark, but from the way he'd been treating her, he must wish they had an ocean between them.

The play went smoothly until the star didn't descend for the Wise Men. The rope must have gotten stuck. Joline dashed behind the curtain to tug it free and smashed into a hard chest.

Mark? She melted against him as he wrapped his arms around her to keep her from falling.

"Are you all right?" His deep voice sent her pulse skittering.

Joline never wanted to leave his arms. She tilted her head to look up, up, up into his eyes. The message in his gaze left her breathless. She froze and couldn't answer.

"Joline?" The rest of Mark's question hung in the air between them, unexpressed.

"Jah?" Could it be? Was he really looking at her like he had at the concerts?

Sparks of passion in his eyes lit an answering fire in her own.

He groaned. "We shouldn't be doing this."

"Why?" Please don't let go , she begged silently.

"Because I'm not with the church."

"Neither am I."

"You're not? But you will be."

Joline shook her head. "I want to go on tour with you." She glanced down, unwilling to see him recoil.

Mark sucked in a breath. "You can't."

Her words wobbled. "I figured you'd say that. You don't like me."

"Not like you?" His Adam's apple bobbed up and down. "I—I can't think of anything but you."

Jerry and Sam banged through the door with the drum set.

Mark jumped back and dropped his arms to his side. "Talk to you tomorrow?"

Joline nodded, then floated through the rehearsal, forgetting all about the star.

* * *

His insides whirling like a blender, Mark took a seat as close to the stage as he could for Joline's nativity play the next day. He couldn't take his eyes off her as she organized the children. She adjusted costumes, soothed nerves, and whispered encouragement to the shy ones.

She was a natural with little ones. He'd seen her with her siblings. She'd make a wonderful mother . . . and wife.

Where had that come from? He barely knew her. But deep inside, the idea had a rightness to it. He'd found his future partner.

Mrs. Vandenberg tottered to the seat next to him. "I see you've ignored my advice."

"Huh?" Reluctantly, Mark turned toward her.

"Do you remember my warning? Now is not the time." She tut-tutted. "Until the time is right, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak."

With longing burning inside him, Mark chose not to listen. After all, what did an old lady know of young love? She claimed to have matched all those couples, but it might have been coincidence. Besides, Mark didn't need a matchmaker. He trusted his heart.

As the play began, the Bible story of Christ's birth touched him. The past four Christmases had been lonely and devoid of God, family, and love. Now he had love—if Joline felt the same way about him as he did about her. And his soul drank in the truth of God's gift to the world. And to him.

Even the glitches, when a small shepherd tripped over his robe or Joseph poked Mary with his staff or Joline raced behind the curtain to lower the star, all made him smile with joy. Never had he paid this much attention to the truth behind the Christmas story. This small, imperfect nativity scene reminded Mark that God loved him enough to send His Son to earth.

By the time the play ended and Mark led the crowd in rousing renditions of Christmas carols, his spirit overflowed. High above all the other voices in the audience, he could pick out one angel's voice as it rang out in amazing beauty.

Mark wished he hadn't committed to playing with the band tonight. He wanted to enjoy the rest of the evening with Joline by his side. Since he couldn't have his wish, he'd play all out for her. Afterwards, they could talk.

His cheerful mood deflated when her parents stood and ushered all the children out before the band took their places for the rock concert part. With a flick of his wrist, her daed indicated she had to accompany them. Just before she exited, she gave Mark a sad, apologetic look, one that held yearning and promises.

He'd miss her tonight, but she'd be at the Christmas dinner tomorrow. Maybe they could sneak some time together.

The next day, the band assembled for a concert of Christmas carols in the cafeteria before dinner. A huge crowd filled the many tables around the room. Joline came in late, flanked by her family, her mouth set in disappointed lines. Were her parents keeping her away from him?

With this being Abel's last concert, the cheerful hymns contrasted with the bittersweet ending of their band. As they played the last notes of "Joy to the World," Mark pined over losing Abel, but his pulse leapt a little as he imagined his future, singing with Joline. And he belted out the final refrain with gusto.

After the music ended, everyone enjoyed a delicious dinner. Mark sat at the table Mrs. Vandenberg had reserved for the band, disappointed he had his back to Joline. As he ate, several former gang members went up to the stage to tell their stories of finding God and how it turned their life around.

Each story needled Mark with guilt. How far he'd come from his childhood trust in the Lord. He'd turned his back on God. His rebellious heart had no room for spiritual things. Even worse, he'd made music his idol.

He'd broken the first commandment— Thou shalt have no other gods before me —along with the fifth when he didn't honor his parents. Mark rutsched in his chair as he faced all the ways he'd ignored the Lord's directives.

Then Joline's mamm , a sweet, demure Amish woman, holding a small baby, with several children clinging to her skirts, told about her childhood growing up in the city and joining a gang. Mark's jaw dropped as she talked about the rough life she'd lived. Everyone there, including Mark, remained spell-bound as she recounted coming back to the Amish and faking her faith before finally surrendering to the Lord. Her poignant story, the testimonies of the former gang members, and the simple innocence of last night's nativity play reminded Mark of his childhood, his early beliefs, and the precious gift of the Christ Child.

He bowed his head when Mrs. Vandenberg led everyone in prayer at the end, and he didn't lift it after she said amen . Deep inside, he knew what he had to do—ask for forgiveness for turning his back on God. By the time he'd finished his prayer of repentance, most of the people had departed, including his bandmates and Joline.

Now Mark knew his future path with certainty. He'd turned his life over to the Lord, and he intended to join the church, even if it meant giving up his plans for restarting the band. Even if it meant giving up Joline.

* * *

Joline railed about sitting with her family on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Her parents, ignoring their promise of her freedom, insisted the whole family must celebrate the holiday together. They left before Mark's concert on Christmas Eve, ushered the children out immediately after Christmas dinner the next day, and invited relatives to their apartment for Second Christmas, leaving Joline no chance to speak with Mark.

She could hardly wait to see him again. Until then, she lived in delicious anticipation. Maybe he'd offer her a permanent spot in the Amish Rebels. She had one more wish—a larger, more important one. She hoped he'd ask to court her.

The next time she saw Mark was at band practice. Instead of staring at her with longing, he'd gone back to avoiding her. Perhaps he needed to do that to concentrate on his music. She'd have to get used to it. To ease her hurt, she threw herself into practicing all the new songs for New Year's Eve and comforted herself by remembering the way he'd looked at her when they were alone.

"I can't believe how well you fit into this band," Jerry remarked near the end of practice. "I miss Abel like crazy, but I'm so glad we found you. Don't you agree, Mark?"

Mark's only reply was a noncommittal um-hmm . He seemed very preoccupied. When the session ended, he held up a hand. "I have something to say to everyone."

They all faced him expectantly. Joline clasped her hands together. Would he announce she was going on tour with them?

Keeping his eyes on the floor, he said, "I've had a change of heart. The Christmas program reminded me of what God has done for us. I spent some time in prayer and surrendered my life to the Lord. I'm sorry if I'm letting you all down, but I can't continue with the band. I'll keep my promise to Mrs. Vandenberg to play on New Year's Eve. That'll be my last concert, and I'll start baptismal classes this spring."

Joel hurried over and clapped Mark on the shoulder. "I'm so glad. We can take classes together."

Sam joined them. "I'll be doing the same."

"Looks like I'm the only one who's not joining you." Jerry turned and left in a huff.

Joline stood there, stunned. Mark planned to break up the Amish Rebels before she had a chance to travel with them. She waited until everyone had gone, then she approached him.

She desperately wanted to go out on the road with the band. "Can you wait a year or two before joining the church? It will give us time for a band tour before we settle down to baptismal classes."

Mark shook his head. " Neh , I'm eager to live my life for God."

"But what about me?" Joline regretted her whiny tone. "I really wanted—"

"I'm sorry." Mark's words rang with finality. "I'm giving up everything for the Lord."

Everything? He didn't mean her, did he? "You said you wanted to talk? About what?" Please say you still want to be with me.

As much as she loved music, Joline longed to be with Mark even more. She'd give up her dreams for a chance to date him.

* * *

Mark struggled to turn away from the pleading in Joline's lovely eyes and focus his full attention on his newfound faith.

Lord, please give me the strength to resist temptation.

"Joline, I can't deny I'm attracted to you, but it was a mistake to fall for you."

"A mistake?" Her words held pain and disbelief.

He could hardly believe it himself. Two days ago, thoughts of Joline had consumed him so much he could barely sing. Now he had to give her up.

"I'm joining the church, so I won't date until after I'm baptized."

She looked as if she had to face one of the horrible tortures in the Martyrs Mirror his parents used to read to him.

"I already told my parents I'd start baptismal classes this spring," she said. "We can do it together."

"I'm not in the same g'may as you."

That stopped her short, but only for a minute. "We can study together. That would give us something to do, just the two of us."

That sounded so enticing. Mark would love nothing better, but his conscience warned him not to give in. Joline had made her infatuation with him plain from the beginning, and he didn't want her to do this just to be together.

"Look, Joline, as much as I'd love to spend time with you, I don't want you to join the church to be with me."

"I'm not," she protested, but her words sounded hollow. "You can ask my family. I really did say I'd do it this spring."

"You asked me to put off classes so you could go on tour with the band. I'm not trying to judge, but it seems your heart isn't ready to make that commitment."

"It is," she insisted.

Lord, help me , Mark begged. It would be so easy to encourage her to join with him, but then something Nettie had said on Christmas Day flashed through his mind.

"Remember your stepmom's story? How she joined the church only because she wanted to get a date with a certain man? I worry you might be doing the same thing."

Rebellion flickered in Joline's eyes, and her lips tightened. Mark had seen that same glint whenever she spent time around Nettie.

"I'm not anything like my stepmother," Joline seethed.

Mark adopted a conciliatory tone. "I just meant you both faced a similar situation."

The anger on Joline's face signaled him to change the subject. But what he had to say wouldn't make her any happier. He cleared his throat and forced himself to speak the truth God had laid on his heart. "Whether or not you choose to join the church can't depend on me."

"It doesn't."

"The only way I'll ever know that for sure is to end our relationship for good."

"But we haven't even started yet."

"You're right. And we never will. I'm sorry, Joline, but I care about you too much to ever consider courting you. Not now. And not in the future after we've both joined the church." Despite his pain and regret, his breakup speech came out with a finality that convinced even him of its truth.