Chapter 7

Chapter 7

J oline fumed inwardly as she waited for her punishment. Her parents took three whole days before they decided what to do. They consulted Mrs. Vandenberg and spent a lot of time in prayer. Then they waited until all the children had gone to school and Katie had taken the little ones out for their daily walk.

Joline watched her stepsister with envy. She'd give anything to switch places with Katie. Instead, she followed Nettie into the living room of their apartment.

The large room had enough seating space to accommodate all fourteen children, two parents, and several guests. Since Daed and Nettie's marriage, they'd added five more children to the family.

Daed had chosen a cozy corner and pulled two chairs close to his. Nettie took the chair beside him, so she and Daed formed a unit. The two of them faced Joline, making her feel isolated, alone, and condemned.

Nettie began the conversation. "After much prayer, we've decided it's time for you to take responsibility for your life."

Daed examined Joline with a searching gaze. "We can't follow you around to make sure you're obeying rules and doing what God wants you to do. Since you'll be joining the church this spring, that decision must come from your heart."

Like they were part of a tag team, Nettie picked up where Daed left off. "I, um, took baptismal classes for the wrong reason." She stared down at her hands clasped in her lap. "I did it to marry someone I had my eye on. We're praying you'll only join when your heart is right with the Lord."

Joline scrunched her brows together. She understood what they were saying, but they still hadn't mentioned her punishment. That's all she cared about at the moment. How long would she have to wait to see Mark again?

"Mrs. Vandenberg thinks we shouldn't interfere with God's plans for your life. She said you'll face your lessons and consequences soon enough."

"We both"—Nettie waved a hand to encompass her and Daed—"disagreed with Mrs. V's advice, but after praying about it, God led us in that direction."

Would they ever get to the point? Joline didn't care how they arrived at their decision. She just wanted to know what her punishment would be. All this buildup must be leading to some major restrictions.

"We've been trying to direct your steps, but if obedience to God's laws doesn't come from your heart, it's not genuine. So, we've decided to give you your freedom."

Joline couldn't have heard Daed right. "What does that mean?"

Nettie's eyes softened. "We expect you to pray and follow God's leading, but we're going to trust you completely. You are free to choose what to do and how to act. And only you can decide when you're ready to join the church."

There had to be a catch. They couldn't possibly mean she was free to do whatever she wanted.

Daed's face turned grave. "We hope you won't take this as a license to sin. We're praying you won't do anything to bring dishonor to God. Or to the STAR Center. Or to our family. Or to yourself."

"The only condition we're giving you is to pray about everything before you do it." Nettie glanced off into the distance. "I wish I'd done that when I was your age. I might have saved myself years of pain."

Daed reached for her hand. "But you got through it, and He's blessed you since then."

"He certainly has. He's given me much more than I deserve after what I did." Nettie gave Daed a tender smile, then she focused on Joline. "I pray you won't have to learn your lessons the hard way like I did."

But Joline had already tuned her stepmother out. A glorious future stretched out ahead. Getting to know Mark. Joining his band. Becoming a star. She could hardly wait.

* * *

Mark hadn't seen Joline for days. He'd wondered if her parents had forbidden her to hang around him. Then suddenly, she started following him everywhere. He'd open the door after a piano lesson, and she'd be standing outside. Ditto when he and the ex-gang members finished a jam session or the rare times his Amish Rebel bandmates got together to practice carols for the Christmas concert.

Her eagerness to listen to music reminded Mark of how he used to hide outside the Musselmans' house to hear their band. Joline had that same hungry look in her eyes. His heart ached for her. He remembered how crushing the Amish prohibitions against instrumental music had been to his spirit. He'd been like a bird with his wings clipped, fluttering helplessly to escape a cage.

After the fifteenth time—not that he was counting—she'd scurried away after he'd opened the door, he debated about talking to her. As he stood there, staring after her, Mrs. Vandenberg came up behind him and set a hand on his shoulder.

Mark jumped. He hadn't heard her approaching. He'd been so lost in thought he'd missed the click of her cane on the linoleum.

"She is a lot like you, isn't she?"

Mrs. Vandenberg's observation matched what Mark had been mulling over. By now, he'd become accustomed to her reading his mind.

He nodded. Joline definitely had the same love for music.

With a teasing note in her voice, Mrs. Vandenberg said, "I've noticed her following you around like a lovesick puppy."

A lovesick puppy? Was she implying Joline had a crush on him? He'd had that sense the few times their eyes met, but with the way she'd been running away, Mark assumed she'd been avoiding him because she was more interested in music than in him.

He needed to set Mrs. Vandenberg straight. "I think Joline's starved for music the way I was when I went to the Musselmans' house." He'd already confided his whole history to Mrs. Vandenberg, so she'd know what he meant.

"I believe you're right. However, I suspect she's interested in more than your music."

Heat crept up Mark's neck and splashed onto his cheeks. He'd never talked to anyone about his inner feelings about girls. It certainly didn't seem appropriate to discuss something so private with an elderly woman, especially one who owned the business and who'd hired him.

Mrs. Vandenberg laughed. "I've had plenty of experience with young love. I had a fairy-tale love story of my own, and I've matched many couples. God has given me quite a few nudges about bringing couples together."

Startled, Mark stared at her.

"If you don't believe me, check out the quilt hanging in the lobby. I brought together every one of the couples on those one hundred squares."

Mark had seen the impressive quilt and wondered about the embroidered names and dates.

"God chose to pair those couples. I just followed his guidance to prod them along."

"I see." Mark wasn't sure where this conversation was going. Unless . . .

Visions of his name and Joline's added to the quilt supplanted the image of Joline's awestruck eyes gazing into his.

"I've come to talk to you about Joline, but don't get ahead of yourself," Mrs. Vandenberg warned. "Now is not the time for a relationship."

Could his face burn any hotter? Mark jerked his imagination away from the quilt and Joline's sweet face, hoping Mrs. Vandenberg couldn't read all his thoughts. Besides, Joline looked so demure in her Plain clothes. Most likely, she'd joined the church, a commitment he wouldn't make because he'd have to give up his music.

"Mark?" Mrs. Vandenberg drew him back from his musing. "I'm concerned about Joline."

That snapped him to attention. "Why?" He hoped she didn't have an incurable disease or . . .

Mrs. Vandenberg sighed. "Joline has a wonderful life ahead of her as a wife and mother, but . . ."

His spirits nosedived. She was married. He should have guessed.

"Oh, my." Mrs. Vandenberg studied his slumped shoulders and disappointed expression. "I didn't mean to mislead you. Joline hasn't joined the church yet."

Mark's heart leapt at the possibilities. Maybe they could be together after all.

Mrs. Vandenberg gave him a sharp glance. "Joline's promised to start baptismal classes in the spring, but I'm concerned about her behavior from now until then. She's taken quite a shine to you, so I hope you'll influence her to stay on the straight and narrow."

A bitter laugh escaped Mark's lips before he could stop it. "Me? My daed kicked me out of the house because I—

"Exactly." Mrs. Vandenberg beamed at him. "You know how painful that can be. I'm sure you wouldn't want Joline to lose her family or end up getting in trouble."

Neh , he'd never want her to face the seediness he'd endured in so many cities, the pressure to perform even when he was sick or down, the loneliness of holidays without family . . .

Mrs. Vandenberg's chirpy voice interrupted Mark's dark memories. "I knew you'd understand."

He nodded. "I'd never want someone as innocent as Joline to go through troubles or heartbreak."

Then, Mrs. Vandenberg shocked him. "You might be surprised to hear she has a rebellious spirit like yours. I figured you'd know how to deal with that. And, even more importantly, you know the principles and morals she should live by from the Bible and Ordnung."

Mark gulped. Jah , he did, even if he hadn't been following all of them himself. He couldn't meet Mrs. Vandenberg's eyes. "I'm not a good example of that."

"Sometimes people who've broken the rules are the best teachers because they've experienced the consequences."

She waited a moment to let that sink in before changing the subject. "What would you think of advertising more drumming and electric guitar lessons? I bet we could draw in younger gang members, hangers-on, and street kids if you're willing to accept additional responsibility."

Mark jumped at the chance to fill his lonely hours. "Of course."

"Wonderful. I'll also put posters around town for the Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinners. With the free meals plus your concerts, I'm expecting a large crowd. I can't thank you enough for all you've done to attract teens who were hesitant to come inside."

"I'm glad I could help. I can never repay you for everything you've done for me."

"You don't owe me anything. If you want to repay anyone, repay God."

Repay God? How could he possibly do that?

Only one idea came to mind: surrendering his heart and soul to the Lord. But Mark wasn't ready to do that, and he wasn't sure he'd ever be.

* * *

Her heart pounding, Joline ducked behind a column when Mark's band exited from their practice room. Mark had almost caught her listening in several times. She tried to stride away nonchalantly as if she'd only been passing the room on her way to a new destination. She hoped she'd fooled him.

Every time she'd come this way, she'd never been brave enough to approach him and ask the question burning inside her. Time and time again, her nerve failed her. People who knew her as bold and rebellious would never believe she'd be too scared to ask anyone anything. But this was the first time she'd ever been attracted to a man, let alone a man who had the power to make her dreams come true.

Frowning, Mark's bandmate Jerry exited the room but turned in the doorway. "I don't believe you guys. How can you give up what we worked so hard for?"

Joel followed him out. "Life on the road is rough. My family's glad to have me home, and I plan to join the church."

Jerry's loud sigh carried down the hall to Joline. "So, you're breaking up the band? What about the rest of us?"

"He's not the only one." Abel squeezed past Jerry. "I'll do this Christmas Eve gig, but after that I'm done."

"You can't quit until after New Year's Eve," Jerry insisted.

"Sorry, but I promised my parents I'd give up my music as a Christmas gift to them and, most importantly, for God."

"Where are we going to find a backup singer who can play keyboard?" Jerry practically screeched.

Joline's thumping pulse galloped faster. She could sing and play keyboard. Was it possible? Knowing this might give her the courage she needed to approach Mark.

With a regretful apology, Abel hurried away. He seemed eager to avoid his bandmates' pressure. Sam and Mark headed into the hallway, talking in low murmurs.

Jerry stopped them. "What'll we do? Abel's quitting before New Year's Eve, and Joel's not staying with the band after that."

Sam shrugged. "Maybe it's for the best. Time we all grew up."

"You're not gonna let us down too?" Jerry turned to Sam with a stricken expression.

"I'll do Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, but I'm not going back on the road."

Mark tapped his chin with a knuckle. "I booked some gigs in May and June. I'll have to cancel if we lose all three of you."

"Rumspringa shouldn't last forever," Sam said solemnly. "It's time we all started baptismal classes."

Jerry brushed that off. "I'm not ready yet."

Joline peeked around the column to study Mark's face. He shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. Was he feeling guilty about not joining the church? She hoped he wouldn't give up the band before she had a chance to sing with them.

Mark gazed in her direction. She ducked back. Had he seen her? If so, he'd think she was a fool. She doubted he'd want anything to do with her if he realized she'd been spying and eavesdropping.

Jerry stayed for a while, slouching against the doorjamb and moaning about the group breaking up. Joline wished he'd head home so she could talk to Mark before he found someone else to take Abel's place.

Finally, Jerry took off. When Mark returned to the room, Joline hurried after him. No way could she pass up this opportunity.

* * *

As Mark walked into the practice room, he was torn about the future. Although he wanted to keep the band together, he was reluctant to take time away from his young, eager students. He didn't want to let them down. And if he were honest, he'd miss being with them and seeing them progress. Now he understood what Mrs. Musselman meant when she said it gave her joy to see her pupils succeed.

It seemed his friends had made his decision easier. Losing three of them meant he'd have to cancel the gigs he'd booked. He also needed to find a singer and keyboard player for New Year's Eve.

"Mark, wait," someone said behind him.

He recognized her voice instantly. Joline.

"I want to ask you something."

Her soft words strummed a place in his heart that, until now, had remained untouched. The exquisite music stirred unfulfilled longings and desires.

He turned to face her. She lifted long lashes to look up at him, and his breath caught in his throat. He drowned in her beautiful, pleading eyes. For several long, delicious moments, they gazed into each other's eyes and souls.

Whatever she asked, his answer could only be jah .

"I—I, um, overheard Abel saying he wouldn't be playing with the band at New Year's."

Mark had caught glimpses of her hiding behind the pillar listening as he and his friends talked. Still stunned by her beauty, he managed to nod.

Her words came out in such a rush, they squished into each other. "Could I take Abel's place? I can play keyboard and sing. Plus, I know all your songs."

She stared at him expectantly.

What? Mark couldn't process her request. It made no sense.

Joline clasped her hands together by her heart. The longing on her face almost did him in.

Mark had to be honest with her. Many fans knew all his songs, but that didn't mean they could sing well or perform in public. Some even played keyboard, but that didn't mean they could keep up with the band's tempo and rhythm. But how could he say neh to those imploring eyes?

He had to find a way to explain that performing was an art. Instead, he did the same thing Mrs. Musselman had done—invited her to watch the band practice.

Joline's face shone as if lit from within. A breathless ach filled with wonder escaped her bow-shaped lips. " Danke , danke , danke ."

Her eager response made Mark glad he'd extended the invitation. With his bandmates there to help him make a solid decision, he could let her down gently. He'd let everyone else in the band vote first. Then he wouldn't need to weigh in at all. And he wouldn't be the one who rejected her.