Chapter 6

Chapter 6

J oline couldn't believe her luck. She'd had a crush on Mark Troyer since the first night she'd first seen him play. Elise and Amari had kept her updated on all his new hits, and she'd listened to his songs whenever she could sneak into the computer room. Joline couldn't wait to let her friends know Mark was staying here at the center.

She hadn't told anyone, not even her best friends, she'd been taking singing lessons along with piano lessons. After the music teacher had discovered Joline's passion for Amish Rebels' music, Letitia had encouraged Joline to harmonize with their songs. Eyes closed, Joline imagined herself on stage with Mark. Whenever she did that, she sang her heart out.

Her parents would have forbidden music lessons had they known, but Joline excused her disobedience because, even though she'd turned nineteen, she planned to enjoy that freedom of Rumspringa for a while longer. Daed and Nettie kept pressuring her to take baptismal classes, and she'd agreed to start this spring. Now, she was glad she hadn't talked to the bishop and made that commitment yet. Although her dream might never come true, she longed to convince Mark to let her sing with his band.

Joline had avoided telling her parents she'd sneaked out to see the Amish Rebels twice, four years ago. Because her guilty conscience and fear of getting caught had kept her from going to more concerts, she'd ignored Mrs. V's instructions to confess. That meant her parents never knew she'd attended Mark's concerts.

She gulped. Until now. She'd given away her secret by fan-girling over Mark.

His face frozen in stern lines, Daed sat, arms crossed, waiting for an explanation.

Why hadn't she controlled her excitement? She could have looked for Mark later, spent time with him without alarming her parents. He seemed as interested in her as she was in him. After Daed discovered what she'd done, though, he'd probably forbid her to hang around Mark. All her joy and excitement over seeing the Amish Rebels in person fizzled.

She kept her back turned as she bent to pick up the baby. Maybe if she busied herself with a diaper change, she could avoid a confrontation with her parents.

"Joline, come here!"

At Daed's barked command, her stomach plummeted. No matter how upset Daed got with her, he'd never spoken to her in such a harsh tone before. She was afraid to turn around. Afraid of what her punishment would be. Afraid she'd be forbidden to spend time with Mark.

" Jah? " she said meekly. "Should I change Irene's diaper first?"

"Katie can do it." As usual, Nettie supported Daed. "Katie, please drop everyone at their activities. Then you can take the little ones for their morning walk."

"Sure, Mamm."

Sweet as pie, Katie pointed up Joline's rebellious spirit without saying a word. Joline gritted her teeth. Living with a saintly stepsister only made Joline's actions appear more sinful. Ever since grade school, when Joline had let a pig out to scare Katie, her stepsister had gone out of her way to make Joline look bad. Not that it was hard to do. Joline was honest enough to admit that to herself, even if she tried to pretend otherwise around others.

Joline helped dress the babies in snowsuits. "I could take everyone to their activities." Perhaps that would give Daed a little time to calm down.

"Absolutely not. You stay here." Daed didn't sound like he'd soften in the least.

Katie shot Joline a sickeningly honeyed smile, but her eyes gloated.

After Katie pushed the stroller out the door and herded the young ones in front of her, Mrs. Vandenberg poked her head in. "Stephen, I forgot to remind you that God sometimes works in mysterious ways—ways we may fear or judge as wrong—but if you trust Him, He'll bring about beautiful results in the end. Be sure to pray long and hard about your decisions."

At her words, Daed's clenched jaw relaxed a little. "Thanks for the advice."

Joline flashed Mrs. V a relieved and thankful smile.

But Mrs. V wasn't done. "Time to come clean, Joline, like I told you years ago."

Heat crept into Joline's face. Mrs. V hadn't forgotten. Joline couldn't meet the older woman's eyes. Instead, she turned around and picked up a few toys scattered on the floor.

"That's enough," Daed said the minute Mrs. Vandenberg exited. "We want answers. And we want them now."

Her insides quavering, Joline slow-walked to their desks for a scolding and her punishment. Head bowed, she stood in front of Daed and Nettie. Daed waved for her to sit down. He must be planning a lengthy lecture.

"Explain." That one simple word sliced through Joline like a lash.

"Well," she mumbled, struggling for words, "um, what did you want me to explain?" She didn't want to tell any more than she had to.

"Start at the beginning. How did you meet this Mark? And how do you know anything about his music?" Daed had other questions in his eyes, but he pursed his lips into a thin line as if reining in his anger.

Joline prayed he wouldn't ask those other questions. "My, um, friends saw a poster for the Amish Rebels . . ."

Dad's mouth tightened even more when she mentioned the band name. "First of all, what friends are we talking about?"

Kneading her hands in her lap, Joline answered reluctantly. "Elise and Amari."

With a loud sigh, he turned to Nettie. "I was concerned about her hanging around with those Englischers, and you said I shouldn't worry."

Nettie gave him a sympathetic smile. "It shouldn't be a problem if the heart is in the right place."

"But temptation—" Daed sounded anguished.

"I trusted Joline to act wisely in the face of temptation."

Nettie didn't add, Obviously, I was wrong , but Joline was positive her stepmother was thinking it.

"I'm sorry," Joline began.

Daed put her on the spot. "For what?"

Hanging her head so she didn't have to meet his eyes, Joline mumbled, "One night, I went to see the band."

"Where?"

She'd hoped he wouldn't ask. "At a teen club."

Nettie frowned. "Don't those open later in the evening?"

"Jah."

"What does that mean?" Daed glanced from Joline to Nettie.

"It means Joline must have sneaked out after we went to bed."

"What?" He turned to face Joline. "Is that true?"

Her jah was barely audible.

"You went downtown after we went to sleep?" Daed looked incredulous. "I can't believe this." He lowered his head into his hands. "This is all my fault. I gave you too much freedom when you were younger. And I allowed too much rebellious behavior."

Joline bit her lip. She should confess about New Year's Eve too, but Daed seemed overwhelmed.

Nettie moved the conversation in a different direction. "I doubt you'd have learned the words to all his songs from attending one performance."

Daed sucked in a breath. "How—?"

Would this grilling never end? With each revelation, Joline's shame grew. "I had a playlist." Before they could ask, she added, "From Elise and Amari."

"They encouraged you in this disobedience?"

Joline couldn't let her friends take the blame for her bad behavior. "It's not their fault. I'm the one who wanted to see the band. They didn't know I shouldn't listen to music."

"But how did you play the music? Do you have a hidden phone or something?" Nettie persisted.

Leave it to Nettie to home in on the practical. Joline wished her stepmother hadn't grown up non-Amish. She understood what a playlist was. Daed would have no idea, so Joline might have skated by.

When Joline didn't answer right away, Nettie persisted. "Joline?"

With a heavy sigh, Joline admitted, "I listened to it on the computers downstairs."

Daed shook his head. "I can't believe this. I thought you were getting ready to take baptismal classes this spring." He sounded old and defeated, though he was only in his early forties.

"I—I was." She didn't want to say she'd been thinking about waiting again. With classes held every other year, she'd have two years before the next ones began. Rumspringa would provide an excuse for following her dreams. Maybe in those two years, she and Mark . . .

Her father interrupted her musing. "Nettie and I need to talk over the consequences of your behavior, and we'll both pray about it. For now, you're forbidden to use the computers. And I'm sure you know to stay away from Mark's music lessons."

Joline breathed out a small sigh of relief. Daed hadn't said she had to stay away from Mark or his studio. Just his lessons. Her conscience warned her Daed had intended to include all of that, but she twisted his words to mean she could talk to Mark anytime except during his lessons.

Before she could dash off after Mark, Daed stopped her. "Until we decide what we're going to do, you must stay upstairs here in our apartment at all times. I don't want you going anywhere."

She'd be grounded indefinitely? They had a huge apartment /office complex here on the top floor of the STAR Center, with plenty of games, books, art supplies, and chores to keep her busy. She filed paperwork for STAR and cared for her youngest siblings, but losing her freedom and missing classes irritated Joline.

Though she longed to protest, she couldn't take that chance. Whenever she'd complained about restrictions in the past, Daed had added to the punishment. Better to stay quiet and wait.

She was dying to tell Elise and Amari, but Joline couldn't even email. If only she had a phone, she could call them and break the news. She couldn't wait to hear their squeals of delight. They'd be over here like a shot, haunting the halls for a glimpse of Mark. And they could take Joline's messages to him. But no phone and no computer access meant no way to communicate with Mark or her friends.

Until she learned what Daed planned for her, Joline vowed not to grumble about her confinement, hoping her father would go easier on her. Who knew how long these restrictions would last or what other consequences Daed might add if she griped.

How could she bear knowing Mark was only one floor below her, but she wasn't able to see or hear him? Or get to know him. Or ask him about the desire burning in her heart.

* * *

Mark called Sam's Englisch neighbor and left a message about reuniting the band for a Christmas concert. Now that none of them had their phones, getting in contact would be a challenge. After using modern conveniences, they'd all find it difficult to go back to the Amish way of life.

To his surprise, Mark enjoyed teaching the children who came for lessons. Although he planned to get the band back together, he wondered if he might find it hard to leave when the time came. These kids had so little to look forward to except a life of poverty. If he could add brightness to their rough days or teach them a skill to earn money, he could start them on a path to a brighter future.

In his spare time, Mark called all the clubs and hotels nearby to set up gigs. None had openings until late spring. He took whatever dates the venues offered in May and June, but the money the band made from those scattered concerts wouldn't be enough to go on tour. They'd also need a van, which they couldn't afford.

Mark could try to book places farther away, but after a few days, his music students had already wormed their way into his heart. If he went out of state, he'd miss their lessons. He didn't want to let these kids down.

He also enjoyed jam sessions with various ex-gang members who were training for careers at the center. When people in the area discovered a member of the Amish Rebels was teaching there, the crowds of afterschool kids increased tremendously. Many of them just wanted to be around a celebrity, but Mark encouraged them to stay and take classes. He was glad he could help promote the center and repay Mrs. Vandenberg for giving him room and board when he'd been so desperate.

She seemed to take a special interest in him, stopping by to chat and make sure he was happy. One of those times, he mentioned Sid's betrayal, and she questioned Mark about it.

"I didn't sign a contract," he explained, "but even if I had, I wouldn't know where to find our ex-manager. Besides, I'd never sue him. We lost everything we earned, but I learned a painful lesson."

"What lesson was that?" Mrs. Vandenberg studied him, her eyes bright with curiosity.

Mark discarded his first thought: Never trust anyone . He scrambled to come up with a better answer. "To take care of everything myself."

"Hmm. Is that the best choice? Sounds like you learned not to trust others."

How did she do that? He hadn't mentioned not trusting people.

Before he could answer, her eyes bored into him, and she snapped out another question. "How can you get married if you don't trust?"

Married?! What put that in her head? That was the farthest thing from his mind. Or was it? For some odd reason, Joline popped into his thoughts.

Mrs. Vandenberg smiled and nodded as if she could tell. "You might be surprised what your future holds."

Mark wouldn't mind a bit if it meant time with Joline, but he could never marry her. Not when he never intended to join the church. Despite that, he threw in one other comment he thought Mrs. Vandenberg would like, even if he didn't quite believe it himself anymore. "This thing with Sid happened for a reason, so we just have to trust God knows best."

"Of course," she said. "Once you believe that too, you'll find He's been leading you every step of the way."

Mark squirmed. How did she know he didn't believe it?

She turned, and her cane clicked across the floor as she headed for the door.

He couldn't let her go without expressing his gratitude. "Thank you for this job," he said for the millionth time since he'd arrived.

"I'm the one who should thank you," she insisted. "You're bringing in so many teens who've avoided coming in here. I'm grateful for that. And God has a wonderful plan for your life. It makes me happy to play a small part in your future. I'll be playing a much bigger part later on."

Mark stared after her as she disappeared down the hall. What in the world did she mean by that?