Chapter Ten

CHAPTER TEN

Spencer

I’d spent two and a half hours taking care of loose ends that had cropped up this week. Corbin hadn’t popped into my office at all, which had surprised me, especially after I learned that Jini wasn’t even in today.

The second I turned into the library, I heard him chuckle. My gaze snapped up to see Corbin in one chair, Gael in another, both with their heads thrown back and laughing.

I’d never heard Gael laugh so passionately, so open and honest, and Corbin spent two hours with him, and this was the result? He really was The Charmer.

But then all I could do was smile because Gael was laughing, and Corbin was laughing, and I wanted that so much for both of them. They hadn’t seen me yet, so I stood there watching them chat. Corbin had a book on the arm of the chair, and Gael had one on the side table. I loved reading and wished I had more time for it. Did Corbin read? If so, what kind of books did he like? There was so much I wanted to know about him, and that truth made my pulse speed up. This friendship had come on swiftly, unexpectedly, but in no time at all, I realized how much I wanted it.

Corbin was the one who noticed me first. His gaze snagged on mine, and a smile stretched across his face. “Hey, CB. Gael made me cry.”

I walked over to them. “Sounds to me like he made you laugh.”

“I cried first,” Corbin answered.

“I didn’t make him cry,” Gael replied. “I just showed him a book, and he started reading it. Blame David Levithan for the tears.”

“What are you reading?”

“Two Boys Kissing, but I think it’s going to slay me.”

Well, then I would just have to cuddle him and make him feel better, wouldn’t I?

Gael patted Corbin’s arm. “You’ll be okay.”

“Who’s the adult here?” I asked.

“You?” Corbin teased, and the three of us shared a laugh.

Gael said, “I should grab the bus home. I have to help Mom with some things today.” He stood, and Corbin did the same.

After we told Gael goodbye, I turned to Corbin with wide eyes. “How in the fuck did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“With Gael. He doesn’t let people in quickly. He’s a great kid but doesn’t make friends easily. He’s had a rough go of it. I’ve never heard him laugh the way he did just now.” Was there anything Corbin couldn’t do? All it took was one conversation with him, one look at his sparkling eyes, and he had people smitten.

“No shit?”

“No shit.”

“He’s great. We just started talking and clicked. I could tell he was lonely, so I wanted to fix it, but then I just enjoyed talking to the kid. Something about him reminds me of myself when I was his age.”

“Jesus. Thank you.” I grabbed Corbin and pulled him into a hug. He immediately buried his face in my neck, returning my embrace, maybe even tighter than I held him.

“What are you thanking me for?”

“I don’t know…befriending him. I want that for Gael so much, and it just…” Just amazed me that somehow Corbin zeroed in on the one kid I felt a connection with too. How we had these moments and small things that tied us together.

“Well, snuggles are a nice thank-you. I guess my awesomeness comes naturally, and Gael must have seen that.”

Little did he know he was quickly putting a spell on me too.

“So, what are we going to do today?” Corbin asked when he pulled away.

“Something fun.” When was the last time I’d just went out and done something fun? But being around Corbin made it impossible not to want to do exactly that.

“I have the perfect idea!” Corbin took my hand, grabbed the book in the other, then led me out of the building.

We didn’t let go of each other until we got to the car.

*     *     *

We ended upgoing to an arcade, which had been a surprise, but one I was on board with. They had a variety of games, bumper cars, race cars, miniature golf, and also served meals and drinks.

“You really are a big kid, aren’t you?” I said when Corbin grabbed my hand and practically dragged me toward the doors.

“No one wants to come here with me. Marcus never knew how to have fun before Kai, and hitting up an arcade definitely wasn’t on his list.”

“Oh, I see, so you bring me because your friends don’t want to go? Now my feelings are hurt.”

“No, they’re not. I know you better than that, but also, that’s not true. I’ve heard CBs are awesome people to go play games with.” I couldn’t help rolling my eyes, which made Corbin grin. “What? It’s a known fact.”

“A minute ago you randomly ‘heard’ this, and now it’s a known fact?”

“You added the randomly. Not me.”

We headed inside and found a table first, so we had a home base to come back to. It was loud because of all the game noises, but luckily, it wasn’t as busy as it could be. Maybe people were saving money for the upcoming holidays.

A waitress came by, and we asked for water and ordered a plate of wings to share. She was hardly a step away from the table before Corbin said, “Let’s go,” then dragged me out of our booth.

Chuckling, I said, “I don’t think the games are going anywhere.”

“You said today is my day, and I intend to have all the fun.”

“Um…I don’t recall saying that.”

“You don’t? Strange because I do.”

We loaded game cards with money and then were on our way. We shot basketball and played Skee-Ball. I kicked Corbin’s ass in a race-car game, but then he took me out in a shooting game. While I enjoyed games, I couldn’t deny there was an extra buzz at the base of my spine today. Part of it came from how Corbin made me laugh, but I also just enjoyed seeing him have fun. He was so open, so pure in this way I couldn’t really explain. Like Corbin was all feeling, led by his heart and emotions. Everything was big with him, so when he was laughing and having a good time, it was contagious. I felt everything he did, his joy inspiring my own. If this was what he showed, I wondered how much heart he kept hidden. How big was all that hurt I knew he felt.

“Come on. Time to refuel.” I took his hand, and Corbin let me, the two of us returning to the table. The wings were there but had to be cold by now. Corbin fell into his side of the booth, drinking down his whole glass of water in gulp after gulp.

“How many do you want?” I asked, putting a few wings on my plate.

“I’m not hungry,” Corbin replied, then frowned, probably at my look of disbelief. “What? I’m not. This isn’t a thing right now. I’m just not hungry.”

And that might very well be the truth. It wasn’t as if a person had to eat every time someone else did, but it worried me when it came to him. I also didn’t want to push too hard. I had no idea how to handle this situation. “Do you want something else?”

“I’m good, CB.” He winked at me. “So…you suck at games.”

“I won some,” I countered, before eating a bite.

“If by some you mean like one. It’s okay. Just one of the many things I’m good at. I know it’s hard to keep up.”

“You’re a cocky sonofabitch,” I teased.

“You say that like you didn’t already know it.”

When the waitress came by, Corbin asked for more water. He nursed that glass while I ate and we chatted.

“Should we head outside next?” he asked.

“Sure. Whatever you want.”

“If that were the case, we’d end this night naked.” He pumped his brows.

My emotions and thoughts were at war with what he’d said. Part of me was surprised Corbin wanted me, and I hated that because I’d worked hard to be confident in the man I was, to feel comfortable in my skin, and to be proud and feel attractive, but because I knew some of Corbin’s struggles with his own self-image, I couldn’t fit the pieces together. How could he be attracted to me but worry obsessively about his own weight? Stress out if he gained a pound or someone made a comment online? And even though I believed Corbin was attracted to me, or would want to hook up with me, I sometimes thought he made comments like he just had because it was part of the role he played.

“You’re thinking hard over there.” He tapped my ankle with his foot. “I was just giving you shit. I mean, I would definitely get naked with you, but you’ve made it clear you don’t want that. It was a joke. I’m having fun with you, and I want to keep having fun with you.” His gaze darted away.

“I want to keep having fun with you too.”

“It’s different with you. It’s strange as fuck. It almost feels like it did with Marcus, Parker, and Declan. Comfortable and no pressure. Like I can just be.”

Jesus, I didn’t know what to even say to that. How in the fuck did Corbin already have me so twisted up? “Maybe it’s because I’m not trying to fuck you. There are all these men who see how beautiful you are, which makes them want you. Part of you likes that, but you also know it’s surface-level shit. They don’t know the real Corbin. They want you for how you look, and with your past, you seek that out, needing to be wanted any way you can. But I like spending time with you…and snuggling you.” I winked. “Because I enjoy your company. It has nothing to do with how gorgeous you are, and that’s how it is with your friends too.”

“You think I’m beautiful?”

My brows drew together. “Yes. Fuck yes. Jesus, Corbin.” How could he really not know how beautiful he was?

“Why does it feel different hearing it from you than when people say it online? Or when…” When he was hooking up with someone. “You’re messing with my head, CB.”

“Maybe you need that.” And maybe something about being with him made me feel special too. Making him feel good filled something inside me I hadn’t even known was missing.

“Maybe I do…but I also need to ram the fuck out of you in bumper cars, so can we go do that, please?”

I laughed as I began wiping my hands with a napkin. “You’re so fucking spoiled.”

“Hey, maybe you’ll praise-kink me the way Elliott does Parker.”

“Praise-kink you? First you want to be cuddled, and then you want to be praised? You sure ask for a lot.”

“The cuddling is the best,” he replied, and damned if I didn’t feel the same.

We made our way outside and to the bumper cars, where he did, in fact, ram the fuck out of me. I couldn’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. From there we did the racetrack, then ended the day with mini golf.

We were still laughing as we left the arcade later. And when we got home, I automatically unlocked my apartment and signaled for Corbin to go inside.

“I’m sorry I was so much better than you at everything we did today,” he said, taking his shoes off.

“Why do I get the impression you’re not sorry at all?”

“Because you know me.”

I did know him. It had happened incredibly fast. “At least you don’t deny it.”

“Can I get some water?” Corbin asked.

“Of course. Make yourself at home.”

He got himself a drink, and I pulled out some freshly cut veggies and ranch dip. I didn’t mention anything about eating but set the food on the table so it would be there for him if he wanted it. “Want to watch a movie?”

“God. So clingy,” he teased, plopping down on my couch.

I removed my shoes too and joined him. We found a comedy, and Corbin immediately snuggled up against my side as we watched. I’d never realized I liked this so much. I’d been wrapped up in numerous men in my life, been held, held them, but it didn’t have the same weight it did with Corbin. Maybe because I was not only getting that contact, but also the emotional part of knowing it was giving Corbin something he needed.

He picked at the food, selecting a few pieces, which I was glad for. Cucumbers seemed to be his favorite, so I made a mental note to keep them around the house.

When the movie ended, I was surprised when Corbin asked, “Do you miss DJ? I know you cared about him a lot.”

Why was he asking this? Maybe because he was still considering looking for a boyfriend?

“I do…sometimes more than others. I thought I was going to spend my life with him, so of course there are times when it’ll hit me—what I had and what I don’t have now. The upcoming holidays are hard. Christmas Eve is actually his birthday.”

“Ugh.” Corbin playfully banged his head against my chest.

“What?”

“I spend Christmas Eve with my family. It’s…a lot.”

“Maybe we should run away together on Christmas Eve,” I said jokingly.

“I fucking wish. They wouldn’t understand, and I already disappoint them enough.”

Something squeezed in my chest. “You don’t do a damn thing to be disappointing.”

“They don’t mean any harm.”

“Intent doesn’t always matter,” I replied, believing that.

“Damn, why you so smart?”

“Brat.” When he yawned, I asked, “You ready for bed?”

Corbin nodded, paused, then said, “What are we doing?”

I didn’t know. I still couldn’t wrap my head around it, but whatever it was, I didn’t want to stop. “Being cuddle buddies. What else?”

Corbin laughed. “I knew you liked the name!”

He put the dishes in the kitchen while I turned the lights out. We brushed our teeth in my bathroom together, then stripped down to our underwear. When Corbin laid his head on my chest, I breathed out, running my fingers through his hair as I drifted off to sleep.