17. Luis

CHAPTER 17

LUIS

N o matter how comfortable or luxurious the hotel room he'd booked was, Luis would have preferred to be at home. Clara was there, and where she was had become the only place he wanted to be. The trouble was that, though he loved her, being with her only reminded him of his failure to win her heart.

He hated to give up, but he also hated to beg. If she didn't want him, she didn't want him, and only losers couldn't take no for an answer. If Luis knew anything about himself, he knew he was not a loser, and he would not let his pride get the better of him. The fact that one woman didn't want him did not mean he was unworthy or that his life amounted to nothing. His identity didn't hinge on the affection of the fairer sex — not now and not ever. And he'd never had trouble finding affection when he craved it.

But ever since he'd met and gotten to know Clara, what he wanted wasn't mere affection. He wanted love, the kind he saw in old movies or in the day to day lives of his own parents. He wanted to have the kind of family that he'd come from, and he wanted to have that with Clara and no one else.

What had happened to him? He was about to give his life to his business, along with his one chance to find love. But if whatever future love he could have wasn't with her, did he really want it at all?

He turned up the television and flopped down on the bed. It was huge, a California king, and despite having slept in enormous beds ever since he made his fortune, it felt wrong somehow, like a waste. Everything felt like a waste — his bed, his penthouse, his wealth. What good was it if he had no one to share it with? Sure, he sent some of it back home to his family, but he never got to see them. His business associates were more of a family to him now, and that thought caused him to groan.

On cue, his phone rang, and when he checked, he saw that it was his lawyer. He muted the television and took the call.

"Hello, Mr. Morales," his lawyer said with a chipper voice that did not reflect Luis's mood at all. "First thing's first. Congratulations on your marriage. It's late coming, but you know I've been out of the country. I wish you all the happiness in the world."

"Thanks," Luis said, though his tone didn't really reflect any gratitude. He tried to find a little buried somewhere in his own thoughts. His lawyer had been no help to him at all in the past several months, and whether that was because he was out of the country enjoying his life or not didn't really matter to Luis, who felt his own life was falling apart at the seams.

He'd been forced, because of his lawyer's untimely vacation, to get himself involved in a loveless marriage, and the guilt he felt now that he knew Clara could not love him the way he loved her was immeasurable. It felt like he was being made to choose between his family and the woman he loved. If he let her go, his business might crumble, and he would have let his father down by destroying what the man had spent his whole life building. On the other hand, if he married her, he would be tying the poor woman to him for Lord knew how many years until he was sure he wouldn't be deported for any reason. And then what? How much of her life would that take?

The lawyer was talking, and Luis only just realized he hadn't really been paying attention. His thoughts were racing. He had a wedding tomorrow, and his poor bride didn't even love him.

"Sorry," Luis said. "Could you repeat that?"

"I said, I'm sorry for the stress you've been under these last few months, but you really needn't have worried. You're already contributing more than enough to the US economy to qualify, considering all the jobs you've created. Anyway, I took the liberty of getting the ball rolling. The paperwork's all ready to go, but I don't suppose you need it anymore, considering your wedding tomorrow."

"I…" Luis let the phone drop for a moment before he lifted it back up to his ear. "Are you serious?"

His lawyer laughed. "Do I ever joke with you? No, I have no sense of humor, and you ought to know it by now. You don't need to worry about your legal status in this country, Mr. Morales. Leave it to me, and go enjoy your honeymoon."

"And if I don't marry?" The idea was dizzying. He felt so stupid for not having realized any of this earlier. But as broken as his heart was, maybe some good could come out of this. Maybe he could set Clara free from her obligation. Surely, that would make her happy. He would still hold up his end of the bargain, but he'd release her from hers. It had never sat quite right with him anyway. It felt like buying a person in a way, which to his mind was beyond wrong.

His lawyer was quiet for a moment before responding. "If you choose not to marry, I will simply finish what I started. You're in good hands, Mr. Morales, though I'm sorry you've been subjected to the stress that you have. I… do hope the marriage was not related. Forgive my presumption."

"No, no, of course it wasn't," Luis lied. "That would be crazy."

His lawyer sighed. "Good. Well, whatever it is that's going on in your life, I wish you the best, and I'll handle it. I won't be leaving the country again until this is settled."

"Thank you," Luis said, though part of him was angry he'd been so worried for so long for no reason.

"No problem. Get some rest, sir. You have a big day tomorrow."

But Luis couldn't rest at all. He set his phone on the nightstand and stared back at the television, which was still muted, taking in none of it. He didn't need to marry. Clara didn't need to marry him. He didn't know whether to be miserable or elated. On the one hand, he could set her free now, and he knew he should. Surely, she would be ecstatic when she found out she could have everything without having to marry a man she didn't love. On the other hand, he'd wanted her to love him. Oh, why didn't she love him?

The right thing to do was hardly in question. It was just going to be extraordinarily hard. Some selfish part of Luis knew that he didn't have to tell Clara anything. He could just continue on the way he had been, marry the woman, and let her believe everything was going just as planned. She never had to know what she was missing.

But he would. He would know exactly what she was missing, and that was the thing about true love. When it's real, the other person's happiness matters more than your own. That's what his parents had taught him. That's the lesson he knew he had to reach for now, no matter how much it hurt. Clara's happiness mattered more to him than his did. If it would make her happy, he would hand her every dime he ever earned and her freedom to boot. Because, he realized, no matter how much he had — be it money, power, respect, or citizenship — he could not find his own happiness without giving Clara hers first.