24. Lucy

O llie had been nothing short of perfect after he found out my secret. He brought me tea that helped and was completely supportive. Ollie also pointed out he didn't blab to everyone just us. And apparently, I was going to have to eat crow. My friends were in love with me, too. Mom had been right the entire time.

Which meant I was going to have to get up the courage to tell the rest of my friends. The herbs must have been helping Mom because she was awake and had breakfast made. I fussed at her anyway.

"You should be resting."

"You need to spill the details about Ollie's late-night visit, my only child."

"How did you?—?"

"I'm your mother. I know everything."

"Ugh. Ollie figured out I'm a girl."

"How did he do that?"

"My stupid fucking idiotic period. I want a refund that I have to deal with that. We should be able to cancel that contract if we want to."

"You have been a little more snippy than usual. Did it sneak up on you?"

"Yeah. After Ollie left, I had to scrub blood out of my pants."

"Sorry your cycle is so difficult, my love."

I took a deep break. This was a big step for me.

"I'm thinking of inviting Ollie, Beck, and Ronan for dinner and answering the door as Lucy."

"Well, out of all your friends, Ollie was going to be the most dramatic about you not being a man and it sounded like he handled it beautifully."

I sighed. He really did. And I hadn't forgotten what it was like to kiss him. Yet another reason it was fucking stupid for my period to be an unbreakable contract for the next twenty to thirty years. If I was really Lance, I wouldn't have to deal with it.

"Ollie was great. And he's not going to tell anyone. He said his big mouth is only for us. He tells us everyone's business because Ronan always wants to know, but he never tells anyone else. I'd be safe telling them."

"I've always known that, but I also know something else."

"What's that?"

"You'd be happy telling them. Lucy is beautiful, and she deserves to be seen. It sounded like the tavern was packed last night. I can help tonight."

No, she couldn't. She had a little more color in her cheeks and she didn't sleep in, but as soon as she said that, she had another coughing fit and she couldn't hide the blood this time with me this close. It wasn't gushing out of her mouth and was just a little, but it still terrified me.

"Absolutely not. Not until you stop coughing blood. I've got enough vodka made to last us for a little while and my infusions aren't perfect yet. I will be the one helping in the tavern."

"On your period? You'll start a tavern fight and spend a night in the cells. At most, you'll break my tavern."

"Oh, shut up. I'm not that bad."

"Jorah Pickerin still doesn't know why you snapped and broke his face when you were twelve, but I do."

"That wasn't because of my period. Jorah was making fun of Neco and his mom. I might hate Neco, but no one should be allowed to say those things about anyone. Theda isn't stupid and Neco isn't weak."

"That's my girl."

"I have to go help Ollie and Ronan. Making the mixture for the Bloody Marys takes a lot of time. They premade a bunch beforehand, and we still sold out in three hours. Ollie's pretty face and silver tongue managed to prevent a riot, but they will all be back tonight and they might bring friends."

"I'm proud of you."

I puffed up my chest and hugged her. That was all I ever wanted. For my mom to be proud of me. Ronan was surrounded by tomatoes when I went downstairs and I couldn't find Ollie, so I asked.

"So, Ollie got really good at fixing farm equipment and rigging things up to get things done faster. He brought a wagon of garbage from the farm because he thinks he can rig something up to deal with all these fucking tomatoes."

"Seriously? That would be amazing."

"I know. If my back hurts, I prefer it to be because I was making something beautiful, not making tomato juice. You just didn't see the garbage he brought in. I had to talk him out of putting it in your basement because if he broke something, the tavern would be out of money and you'd kill him. He's in the kitchen."

"Hey, can you come for dinner tomorrow? It's the Day of Respect, so we have to close early. I was going to invite Beck and Ollie, too."

The Day of Respect was such shit. It happened every Saturday. No one was allowed to work after two in the afternoon. The rest of the day, we were supposed to give thanks and respect to the Barons who protected us. Not the king or queen, the Barons.

I heard Guttertown used to ignore that because some people couldn't afford that, but they sent guards here for the Day or Respect to enforce it. They had for as long as I'd been alive. I guess the guard didn't get the day off.

Ronan just scoffed.

"I know Caitrin is too sick to cook, but none of us are fucking stupid. We aren't going to say no to a home-cooked meal from you, either. Listen, I'm not trying to be demanding, but can you do that mango custard your mom used to make when we were kids?"

Ronan was looking at me with puppy dog eyes. He'd always had a sweet tooth, and it wasn't hard to make at all.

"Sure. Any other requests?"

"I've been itching for a swim. If I catch them, will you make lemon and fennel clams?"

"Uh, yeah. Especially since I wouldn't have to pay for them."

"You're the best, Lance. If Ollie gets his garbage working, then I can get my swim in."

Ronan was part fish. We used to go swimming all the time when I didn't know I should be embarrassed to be topless around my friends. Then, I grew tits. The whole thing was stupid. If I could be topless as Lance, why was it unacceptable for me to be topless as Lucy? People missed the whole point of boobs.

"Go swim, Ronan. It's how you center yourself. I have faith Ollie will get a machine up and it's not going to get really busy here until people get off of work."

Ronan beamed at me. He was also insanely good looking. Ollie was a fair golden boy with tanned skin and Beck was dark with his hair to his waist. Ronan was about as close to being a redhead as a human could be without being Tempris. Humans didn't have red hair, but Ronan was close and it was always in his face. He also had bright-green eyes. It seems like every time he went for a swim, he came back with more freckles.

I went to the kitchen to check on Ollie. Unlike Ronan, I'd personally seen Ollie unleash his creativity on farm garbage and rig up something that benefitted their farm and this tavern. I leaned against the door and just watched him work.

"I'm going to tell Ronan and Beck tomorrow. You're invited to dinner. I'm cooking. I sent Ronan to swim because he was getting antsy."

"No shit? For what it's worth, I'm glad. They'll keep your secret and help you figure out if you want to be Lucy or Lance. I speak for all of us when I say we don't care which one you pick."

"Thanks. We've got another hour before any of the early birds come in. I'm going to walk next door and invited Beck. I'll lock the door behind me."

"Good. If you see Neco, please just ignore him."

Ugh. I wished my mortal enemy didn't live in the same building as one of my best friends who I had been secretly in love with for years. It would make it so much easier to pretend like Neco Argent didn't exist and ignore the fact that he had this really annoying dark, broody sexy thing going on. It made me hate him even more.

When I got to the brothel, Rowena was leaving for school.

"Hey, Rowena."

That fucking kid. She punched me right in the tit. My eyes watered and I tried not to let on why it hurt more than it should.

" That is for being mean to my brother. I didn't kick you in the dick because you brought Mom soup. Consider yourself lucky," she said, glaring at me before stomping off.

Even though she just assaulted my left boob, I still liked that kid. She was plucky. Honestly, she thought she was doing me a favor not kicking me in the dick, but since I didn't have one, I would have preferred it over the tit punch.

When I turned around, Neco was leaning against the wall smirking at me.

"First of all, fuck you," I said. "Secondly, bye."

I stormed off to find Beck. I could hear Neco laughing at my back all the way down the hall. I found the Madame before I found Beck.

"Goodness, you look like you're in a mood, Lance."

"Neco Argent has that effect on me."

"Really? Everyone here loves him. You have to be careful the kind of men you let work here. They are here all the time and they protect the girls. Some of the girls get attached. I don't forbid that, but a lesser man would use the opportunity to take advantage of my girls for free sex.

"Panas isn't interested in woman sexually. Beck knows I would kill him if he did that. I gave Neco a chance because I knew him as a boy. It could have gone completely wrong and I might have had to throw him out, but the man he grew into is the same ten-year-old boy who lost an eye trying to protect his mom. He's nothing but respectful and I don't think he's ever laid a finger on one of my girls, even if they asked him to. And many of them are very interested in him."

"There's no accounting for taste."

The Madame just laughed.

"Neco Argent has those dark dangerous vibes that say he would burn the whole realm down for the right person. It has its appeal. If I was a much younger woman and didn't help change that boy's diapers…"

You shouldn't be shocked by anything out of Beck's mom's mouth, but somehow, you always were. Even when she was protecting us from all the inappropriate things in her business, she still managed to scandalize the kids without even mentioning sex. I honestly thought it was one of her kinks. She just threw back her head and laughed because I was standing there with my mouth open trying to process that.

"Beck is in the kitchen eating breakfast. I'm guessing you're here for him, though I think Asha would be thrilled if you were back for her…"

"Going to find Beck now."

The longer I stood here, the worse the Madame was going to get. I seriously thought she did this because she was trying to see if she could literally make a man's head explode. I wasn't even a man, but that was definitely me who went down on Myrna and it was weird hearing your best friend's mom sexualizing your mortal enemy.

I knew where the kitchen was. I ate there with my friends plenty of times. Beck was eating eggs and bacon and looked surprised when I joined him.

"I thought you'd be preparing for your new hit drink."

"Ollie brought garbage."

"And you let him inside with it?"

"He's super talented with scraps. You remember how we all used to beg your mom to make that Jagged Key Isles crab recipe, and she got tired of us asking, so she said she'd only make it if we brought her the crabs?"

"Oh, shit! Yeah, none of us had jobs to buy them. We told Ollie our moms would beat our asses if he stole them so he rigged up that crab trap from scraps at the farm."

"He's actually really good at that. He could actually make a fair bit of coin selling his inventions, but he prefers the tavern. I have full faith he's going to build something that makes it easy to make the Bloody Marys."

"Sorry, Lance, you know I love you, but I've known you my entire life. You're a bit of a control freak. You wouldn't be over here talking to me and leaving Ollie alone in the tavern with garbage unless something was up."

"I'm cooking dinner on the Day of Respect and you're all invited. Ollie and Ronan are both coming and Ronan has already put in his requests. If you say no, I'll rope your mom into convincing you."

"That's low, Lance. Everyone is terrified of Mom. And I'm not stupid. If you or your mom wants to cook for me, you don't need to blackmail me. Just say when."

I gave him the time and went back to check on Ollie. The Day of Respect was idiotic because all the businesses had to close and no one could work. The brothel and the tavern made most of our money hours after we were all forced to close and pay respect to the Barons. It was like losing an entire day of income once a week.

But it was the one night a week Ollie, Beck, and I could hang out because we weren't working until late. It was the one silver lining to an utterly shit situation.

Ollie really was a genius. In the time I was at the brothel getting tit punched, scandalized by the Madame, and inviting Beck to dinner, Ollie already had something put together that made making the mixture much easier and could make much more of it than we could by hand. He'd already made a good bit of it.

"Good, you're back. You put the tomatoes, here and then you turn this crank. It'll press them through the mesh into the bucket and then you can just dump it in a barrel."

I took a chance because Ollie really was a good kisser and I wasn't going to get the chance to kiss many people who knew the truth about me. And I just really loved Ollie.

I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"You really are a genius. You could probably make a lot of money selling those inventions. More than you make slinging drinks at the tavern."

"But then I couldn't be around one of my favorite people when they aren't in the basement and making these things make my back hurt. It's not as fun as slinging drinks. This tavern is my parents' legacy. Your mom made sure I got to keep it after they passed and I'm not going to throw that away for something that doesn't make me completely happy."

"Well, you look sexy surrounded by garbage and slinging drinks. Kiss me."

Ollie was a great kisser. He was passionate, but he took his time and didn't rush. I wanted more. I was probably the only twenty-year-old virgin in Guttertown. We tended to get that out of the way early here. We didn't keep to the same purity nonsense for women that the rest of Nestran subscribed to. I mean, I was only holding onto it because I didn't want anyone to know I wasn't a man.

And fucking Ollie stopped me when I went for the laces on his trousers.

"Your first time having sex isn't going to be in the kitchen of a tavern."

I shoved Ollie away because that was just so fucking stupid. I wasn't even going to have sex because I was still on my period. I just wanted to see what sucking cock was like.

"You had absolutely no problem with Lance losing his virginity at the brothel. Why are you holding Lucy to a different standard?"

"Because we shouldn't have roped Lance into it. We all had our regrets about it. We turned it into this big rite of passage thing that was going to change our lives and we pressured you into it. We thought it was different for you because you got turned into this legend, but we were just annoying teenagers to those girls.

"One of many clients that night. We knew they were faking it and we were terrible. It felt good, but it also felt terrible because those women knew what good sex was and we didn't give it to them. I don't want that for your first time. I want us to both feel good and I can't do that in a kitchen."

"That makes sense. How good are you going to make it feel?"

"You know how Lance is a legend at the brothel because of one little visit when he was sixteen? We all learned how to take care of women like that later."

"When do you think that is going to happen?" I asked, sliding back into Ollie's arms.

"In my uncle's barn after dinner. It's going to have to be with all of us. They'd beat my ass if it was just me."

"You seem pretty sure they are going to accept Lucy."

"You should be, too. They are going to love Lucy."

I wished I was as sure as Ollie was.