Chapter 7

Arriving at the Follett's home, which had been the Dower House, Grace and Fanny were invited in immediately.

Mrs Follett was sitting at a small table in the drawing room with two young boys. She stood and greeted her guests, looking a little bashful. "Young Mark and Stephen Pickering both wanted to learn some extra lessons, and I said I would be happy to provide them," she explained as the boys tidied away the items they had been working on. "They live over the hill on the east farm."

"That is very good of you," Fanny said, sitting when invited.

"Not at all. They both want to learn about running an estate as a steward, and myself and Mr Follett are happy to pass on the experience we have gained."

"You are very ambitious." Grace smiled at the boys.

"We aren't the eldest, so the farms won't come to us," the tallest of the boys explained. "We've seen Mr Michael working on the estate, and he told us he learned everything from Mr and Mrs Follett, so we asked 'em would they teach us."

"That is very enterprising of you both and shows that you would be excellent candidates for estate work, for I believe it to be very specialised," Grace said. The boys blushed at being given such high praise from a fine lady.

"I will see you tomorrow when we will continue with our accounting," Mrs Follett said, gently guiding the boys out of the door and into the care of a maid to see them out of the house. "They are such sweethearts and so keen to learn," she said, returning to her guests.

"I could never teach anyone accounts; I struggle with my own! You might have another pupil tomorrow," Fanny said with a laugh.

"I am only teaching them the basics. They have learned their numbers through the village school, but if they are serious about improving their positions, then they need to know at least a little about bookkeeping. It is rewarding to have such eager students."

"Does your son and Arabella know what you are doing?" Grace asked.

"No." Mrs Follett flushed. "I do not want to upset them."

"Why would they be upset? I think they would be delighted."

"Do you? We love living here and being so close to them, but it sounds ungrateful to say that we are both struggling to fill our days. Neither of us is ready to sit and do nothing."

"I can understand that," Fanny responded. "After my husband died, I was at a loss. I was so used to responding to his every command that I could not rest easy, expecting at any moment to hear his voice demanding my attendance."

Grace squeezed Fanny's hand. "Now is your time to relax."

"I know, and I am enjoying myself. I feel the spirit is quick to recover when the problem is removed, but I agree with Mrs Follett that having time on one's hands does take some getting used to."

"I think Arabella would be delighted to hear what you are doing," Grace said to their host. "You really should tell her or your son."

"I was considering raising it with them but finding excuses not to." Mrs Follett smiled. "If they know and support our little venture, I could perhaps use some of the books from their library."

They were interrupted by Julian's arrival. He smiled and bowed when he was announced, his attire and address impeccable as always. "Forgive my intrusion, ladies, I have come on an errand. Mrs Thompson, if you do not mind, your presence is required at the house. I am to accompany you if you would be good enough to join me?"

"Oh really?" Fanny looked surprised at his words. "Of course I will return with you."

"I will come too," Grace said.

"Ahh," Julian said, looking a little flustered. "Forgive me, Miss Holmes; I do not wish to reveal too much, but I think your presence is especially not needed."

Fanny laughed. "I think the ladies are up to something, Grace. You had better stay here a while."

"You would be very welcome," Mrs Follett said immediately.

"Thank you." Grace grimaced. "I am afraid to guess what is going on."

Fanny patted her cousin's hand as she stood to join Julian. "Sometimes it is best not to know."

When the pair left, Mrs Follett offered fresh tea, and the two ladies settled back for a cosy chat but were soon to be disturbed once more. Alice and her giant of a husband joined them, James seeming to fill the room.

"Are you not plotting with the others?" Grace asked Alice.

"Plotting about what?" Alice asked.

"Something to do with my leaving," Grace explained. "Mr Betez sought out Fanny to return her to the house, and I had to stay away."

Alice frowned. "I do not know anything about that."

"I am surprised your paths did not cross. There is only the one path directly to the house from here."

"We didnae see anyone," James said in his broad Scottish brogue. "Do ye want me to go and check where they are?"

"No, they must have decided on taking a longer route," Grace mused.

"I wanted a word with Mr Follett if he is about?" James asked.

"You will find him in the workshop," Mrs Follett said. "He has promised to only potter and not undertake some grand project. You have my blessing to threaten him with whatever punishment you can think up if he is up to his usual tricks."

"My pleasure," James chuckled. "I can think of all sorts of things he would hate. I might even insist that he join us for an evening of billiards."

"But you hate billiards!" Alice exclaimed as her husband kissed her head before moving to the door.

"Aye, it is a waste of time, knocking balls around a table for no good reason, but Mr Follett doesnae know that is my opinion."

The three ladies were left laughing at James's wink and returned to their chat.

***

Fanny looked in surprise at Julian as he turned away from the well-laid-out path that led to the main house and turned onto one which was less used but had been cleared of snow somewhat.

"I thought my being at the house was urgent. Grace will not stay too long before she deems it safe to return," Fanny said.

"I hope that you will forgive me, but I have brought you here under somewhat false pretences," Julian said.

"Oh? Now I am very intrigued."

Julian chuckled. "That is a relief. Some ladies would slap my face, call me a scoundrel and walk away."

"You must socialise in the most peculiar circles since we were last together, Mr Betez." Fanny smiled. "Thankfully, I do not consider that I was ever so missish."

"You most certainly were not. You know full well that I admired the way you tried to stand up to your parents. You were magnificent."

Fanny beamed at the praise before coming serious once more. "It did me no good, did it? I was forced into a marriage I did not want, but I was not unusual in that."

"No, unfortunately, it was all too common, especially for the younger sons."

"As Grace says far too often, but in this instance, it is true, there is no point in going over old ground. Neither of us can look back on that time without remembering what we wished for and could not have."

"Quite so. Forgive me, I did not drag you away from your visit to reminisce over old times, but I wish to ask your advice, Mrs Thompson, Fanny, if you will allow my forwardness."

"You always called me Fanny before; there is no need to be so formal now. It has been surprising how informal this gathering is."

"It is not polite to admit, but I have hated needing to refer to you as Mrs Thompson. My poor heart twists each time I hear the name, for it reminds me of so much pain."

Fanny patted his arm. "Do not go melancholy on me. I have enough with Grace mooning over her lost love; I cannot stand it if you are of the same inclination."

Julian smiled at her. "You always did put us all in our place, and you are quite right. I am myself again, and I think I have a scheme that will help your cousin and, hopefully, in the long term, yourself as well."

"Then I am all ears, and you can be assured that I will do all that I can to help."

Julian let out a sigh. "You do not know how happy I am to hear those words. I hope you feel the same when I have explained everything."

***

In the early evening, when she returned to the house, Grace sought out Arabella and then spent some time in the library. She looked up in alarm when the library door opened but relaxed when Julian entered the room.

"Arabella told me I would find you in here," he said, closing the door behind him.

"I am looking for some basic textbooks for Mrs Follett to use. Arabella said there was a small section of books suitable for working with children. I shall have to speak to her about what she considers small; from what I can see, there are at least two shelves."

"My brother wanted her to have the best of educations," Julian explained.

"And now the books will be used again for the tenants' children. It is a wonderful thing that Mrs Follett is doing in holding classes for some of the children," Grace said, flicking through one book after another. "I said that I would drop some of these books off so that she could look at the range available here. I should really bring her to choose for herself, but she does not wish to be in the way of the guests."

"I think we have all visited them in our turn, but they feel that seeing us here would be too overwhelming. It is amusing when people come up with these strange issues that are not really a barrier, just to themselves."

"We can all be accused of thinking that we know best for those around us." Grace smiled. "You said that you were looking for me. What can I help you with?"

Julian came across to Grace, standing before her and gently taking the books she was holding out of her hands, placing them on a side table. "I wanted a private word with you and hope that you can forgive my speaking now, but I could remain silent no longer." He took hold of her hands. "Miss Holmes, Grace, I know it could be considered far too soon, but I feel as if I have known you for years with all that Arabella talks about you. I realise that what I am going to say might upset your plans a little, in fact I hope it does, but I want you to know that I regard you most highly, so much so that I could not wait a moment longer."

"Mr Betez, do you think this is wise?" Grace started, heart racing at what she suspected was going to be said and not knowing a way to stop it without appearing to be extremely rude.

"Please allow me to finish, or my courage will fail me." Julian smiled at her, seeming a little bashful. "I am not expecting you to believe confessions of love, as I am not presuming that you have feelings towards me, but I think we are both at a stage in our lives where the only people we need to please are ourselves. But that can be a two-edged sword, mainly because independence can bring with it a lot of loneliness."

Grace had to give him credit for his astuteness. "It can."

"I knew you would understand," Julian said with approval. "It is with that in mind that I am proposing to you not a marriage of convenience but a marriage of companionship, of understanding, of friendship. I appreciate that you might be surprised at my words, but I wanted to speak now, and then, if you agree with my scheme, we can plan your trip abroad together."

"You want us to marry?"

"That is my hope, yes." Julian smiled at her, squeezing her hands gently.

"But Arabella…"

"Would be delighted to know that we were to be happily settled with people who we highly regard, that is, if I am not being too presumptuous in your opinion of me. I promise that I will do all that I can to make you happy."

"You would wish to join me on our trip abroad?" Grace's mind was racing.

"Why not? It would be an adventure for us both."

"But Fanny!"

"Could come with us," Julian said easily. "I like her company and would never consider depriving her of joining you on the trip. It would make it easier for you to get to know me in a less pressured situation with your cousin there for company. What do you think? Have I been too forward with my unexpected address?"

Grace pulled away from Julian but shook her head, her lips in a half-smile. "It has come as somewhat of a surprise. I did not consider for a moment that you were even contemplating such an offer, or that you considered me anything other than Arabella's friend."

"I understand that it has come as a shock, but I am quick to make a decision, and I flatter myself that it is usually the right one. I knew the moment I met Michael that he would be perfect for Arabella; it was just choosing the right time to introduce him to her. If there had not been the complication of her pining for that rascal who tried to cheat her twice, they would have been married a long time ago."

Sitting down on a chair, Grace clasped her hands on her lap. They were shaky and sweaty, an indication of her inner perturbation, but she strove to remain composed. "Did you come to the gathering with this goal in mind?"

"I suppose I was ready for the possibility of there being something between us," Julian acknowledged. "I liked you immediately when we last met, although the difficult circumstances prevented us from getting to know each other then . I had heard so much about you before our meeting that my interest was piqued, and the idea started to form, but it was only through spending this last ten days with you that I was able to reach the conclusion that we would be perfect together. I ask for nothing but friendship unless you would wish for more. I have dropped this on you, and the decision about what happens next is firmly in your hands."

"I see." Grace should be agreeing to his proposal; anyone with sense would advise her to do so. To be married to a rich, kind, sociable man, ensuring her older years were well cared for, comfortable, and there were no expectations other than they would be friends who were married. It would give her more security than she had ever had, a higher standing in society and no worries for the rest of her days. Julian could be considered reasonably handsome too, in the older man's way, his waistline widening a little, but although heavily wrinkled, his features were pleasant and his manner always welcoming. It should be a simple decision, but if that was the case, then why could she not utter that one simple word – yes?

Julian smiled and rested his hand on her shoulder. "Have some time to think about what I have said. There is no rush now that you know my feelings and wishes. I have had time to consider every option, but you have not. I will not pester you but will leave you now and, hopefully over the next few days, you will come to me with your answer."

"I appreciate you letting me have a little time. I never suspected that you would even be considering such a thing."

"Do not underestimate your attractions, my dear lady. You have a lot to offer, and anyone would be a fool not to recognise that."

Julian left the room, and Grace slumped in the chair when she heard the click of the door. She had received a marriage proposal! At her age! It was such a decent, kind proposal that she should accept without a second thought.

The trouble was that she had second, third and fourth thoughts, and to her utter annoyance, they all involved William.

Her mind was cursing her heart, but her heart would not give in. If she said yes to Julian, she would have a secure future, a nice husband and nothing to worry about for the rest of her days, but she would not have love.

She could see herself being fond of Julian; she already liked him and enjoyed his company, but the feelings she had were about as far away from love as they could be whilst still appreciating him. He said that love might develop between them, but she knew that would be impossible. How could she even consider loving another when only one man had ever held her heart?

But was it really about her heart? That love had never given her anything but hurt and upset. Only in the early days had there been the heady feelings of a new love, but once they had become serious, and marriage was mentioned, it had all become difficult and heartbreaking. Did that not prove that being in love was not the best solution? Being content and protected was better for her, was it not? Then why was she not feeling happy about what had just occurred? Damn her heart!

Grace put her head in her hands, wanting to scream but knowing that she could not. Always the one to be calm in a crisis, the one her girls turned to when they were feeling lost, she could not allow the uncertainty and longing for what could not be to overcome her. As always, she would be outwardly calm, consider all the options and make the sensible decision. She would practice what she preached, she hoped.