Library

Chapter 8

The following morning dawned bright and calm; the snow had started to melt, and more of the paths on the estate were clear.

James decided to persuade everyone to go for a walk while the ground was soft. "The temperature will drop this afternoon. It's time to get our fresh air now," he said as they all gathered for breakfast.

"You are not commanding your men now," Hamish said, always quick to torment his brother.

"Don't I know it," James answered. "There would be nae backchat from them."

"I am the eldest of the family," Hamish reminded him. "It is my role to keep the youngsters in the family in line." Hamish, although not a small man, was smaller in height and slender compared to James, who towered over everyone in the gathering, but that did not seem to daunt him in the slightest from antagonising James.

"Aye, but ye will never be too high and mighty to stop me from drawing your cork if you were tae become even more annoying."

"You would not dare spoil my good looks, for my Serena would be angry at you."

Serena rolled her eyes. "It might be a good thing; it would make you less pretty."

The others laughed at Hamish's incredulous look at his wife. "Pretty? Pretty! That is not a word to refer to a dashingly handsome man."

"Ye should have been a lassie with the time you spend in front of the looking glass," James chipped in.

"I seem to recall catching you more than once or twice preening yourself in front of my dressing table," Alice said to her husband.

The room descended into uproar as each man tried to stress his manliness while their wives revealed secrets. It continued until Arabella stood, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. "I think it is time we prepared to go out of doors before our husbands seek revenge and start to reveal our secrets."

"This will only delay matters," Lydia's husband, Matthew, said, standing and holding his hand out to his wife. "We cannot let such accusations go unchallenged."

"You would not be so mean," Lydia said warily. Everyone knew how insecure Lydia could be about her height and that she wore glasses, and a few of the group who had not spent much time with Matthew watched to see what his response would be.

"Not to you, my perfect one. Your only fault is that you do not spend enough time with me behind closed doors."

"You absolute rogue!" Lydia was fiery red, but the chuckles were a sign of the ease everyone had with such outrageous remarks.

The grouping dispersed to get their outerwear before gathering once more in the hall. On setting out, it was not long before smaller groups developed, usually twos and threes as they walked, enjoying the sunshine, which took the chill from the air.

Julian and William were bringing up the rear, and Grace and Fanny were a little way ahead. "It is delightful to see the young ones enjoying themselves, but I do feel old around them." Julian started as the gap between the younger and elder members of the group widened.

"They have more freedoms than we ever had," William acknowledged.

"Do they? From the snippets that Arabella has told me, they all seem to have had hurdles to overcome."

"Yes, I suppose they have in their own ways. At least they have been able to marry for love; that was a rare occurrence when we were first in society."

"Oh, I do not know. I would have fought tooth and nail to marry the person I wanted if I had met someone I loved back then," Julian said. "And that from a second son."

"Did they try and bully you into the military or clergy?"

"I decided to go into law," Julian answered. "The other two did not appeal to me."

"Me neither."

"Ah, the curse of being the second son. It is unfortunate that our brothers were not to see old age. I miss mine dearly."

"As do I. He was far better at things like house parties than I will ever be."

"Mine too."

"I doubt that; you seem perfectly at ease in every situation."

Julian chuckled. "I am especially pleased to attend this gathering. It has turned out that being here might have provided me with something I was not expecting at the start of it."

"Oh?"

"A wife if all goes to plan." Julian either did not register that William had stiffened at his words, or he just ignored it.

"A wife?" William choked out.

"Yes, I am sure I can rely on your discretion, but I have made a proposal to Miss Holmes, and I am waiting for a response from her. I admit I am like a young Johnny Raw in anticipation of her answer, but I hope it will not be too long before she decides whether or not to accept me."

William looked sickened, but Julian did not seem to notice his discomfort. "She is considering your proposal?"

"Yes. I sprung it on her a little. I could not wait to ask her once I realised what a fine woman she was, an absolutely perfect match for me, and I hope she will feel the same way. It is quite reasonable at our age not to jump into such a big decision, for we have a lot of life experience to consider, but she seemed quite pleased when I said that I would join her and Mrs Thompson on their planned trip. We could say it was our honeymoon."

"I see. I suppose you could," William responded, voice very quiet. "I wish you both happy."

"I am aware that there is some sort of history between the two of you. Do not growl at me; you know there are no secrets between the friends. Arabella has told me very little about what happened, but enough that I needed to speak to you about it. I want to say that I hope there would be no ill feeling between us if she were to accept me."

There were a few moments of silence before William responded. "We were young and had not the strength to go against family wishes. What happened is in the past."

"Is it? You seem a little troubled. I do not wish to cause any upset for Miss Holmes by stirring up old arguments or making her uncomfortable in any way."

William laughed, hitting his cane on the snow-covered foliage as they walked. "I have a particular knack of upsetting Grace no matter that I try not to. I truly wish her nothing but happiness, and if she finds that with you, then so be it."

"I am taking nothing for granted until I hear from the lady herself." Julian smiled.

The two men walked on in silence for a while before William spoke once more. "I think I will turn back. I have had enough fresh air and conviviality for today."

"That is a shame. I think this walk is doing us all good."

"Captain Avril will be pleased to hear that. Excuse me. Good day." William's farewell was abrupt, but Julian inclined his head, a smile on his lips at the retreating figure.

"If you are not prepared to fight for her, you do not deserve her," Julian said quietly to himself as he moved to catch up with Grace and Fanny.

***

Fanny had grasped Grace's hand. They were walking a little ahead of William and Julian, but it was easy to hear most of what was said because of the timbre of Julian's voice.

"You are getting married!" Fanny gasped, struggling to keep her voice low. "You never said a word!"

"No, I am not!" Grace responded. "I wanted to speak to you about it for I thought you might have feelings for Mr Betez yourself."

"That should not be a consideration."

"Of course it would be! If you had any feelings at all for him then of course I would refuse him!"

"Then more fool you, especially as I am still in mourning."

"That is not really an answer."

"It is the fact of the matter," Fanny said. "You are fortunate to be marrying so late in life, with such a good match too."

"He has asked me, but I have not agreed to anything as yet."

"You must be considering it, or you would have refused him the moment he offered for you."

Grace closed her eyes briefly. "I can see the advantages of marrying Mr Betez as anyone with sense would. It is a kind offer, especially for someone in my position."

"But?"

"You know exactly what the but is."

"Yes, I do."

"You think I am foolish to cling on to feelings that are not returned."

"No, I do not. It is plain that you are as much in love with him as you have always been. It is time to accept your feelings. Why continue to lie to yourself when even you cannot be so blind?"

"What good does it do me if I accept what I still feel?" Grace hissed, causing Serena to look back in surprise at the sound. Grace had to smile and pretend nonchalance so Serena would not think there was something amiss. "What is the point of dwelling on feelings either of us may or may not have when we cannot be in each other's company for two minutes without the arguments starting?"

"Then marry Mr Betez."

Grace shot her cousin a look. "You said you would only remarry to someone special, yet you are advising me to marry a virtual stranger?"

"I had a loveless marriage to a penny-pinching, demanding husband. I would need to know any future husband well enough to guarantee that I would not end in the same situation again. I have lived and learned; it seems you and William have not."

"We have never cleared the air between us. Each time we speak it turns into an argument."

"Is that not your reaction because you are still struggling with your guilty conscience?" Fanny asked.

"I should not have a guilty conscience!" Grace groaned.

"Of course you should; you were both at fault. Denying it any longer is foolish, and that is something you are not," Fanny said. "Although your actions are making me reconsider."

Grace's shoulders slumped. "I know some of the responsibility for my decision was mine and made by me without undue pressure from others. I could have acted differently, and I have spent so many years blaming it on him. I refused to acknowledge that my part or lack of action helped to cause the rift. I was angry that he did not do as was expected of him, and he was angry that I did not support him. I should have done more then, and I do think it is time that we cleared the air once and for all between us."

"Finally you are seeing sense! That is something which is long overdue."

"I am only going to try and straighten things out between us, to tell him that I am sorry for not supporting him," Grace said quickly. "Do not start to think that there could ever be anything between us now."

"Why would I do that when I know you are considering a proposal from Mr Betez? Do you think you will accept him even when you have cleared the air with William?"

There was an edge to Fanny's voice, and her words and tone were out of character for her, but Grace did not question it. "I honestly do not know. What he offered was a marriage of companionship, not necessarily of love. Am I an old fool to wish to marry for love, even at my age?"

"Everyone needs to be loved, Grace. You are not unusual in wishing for it, no matter what age you are. Most people do not get the chance to find someone who loves them in the way they long to be."

"Many would be grateful for a marriage that was kind, friendly, and companionable. Should I have accepted him immediately? You would have happily settled for that, would you not? It must seem the better option than marrying a man like Stewart?"

"Funnily enough, I would not marry for those reasons." Fanny laughed at the shocked expression on her cousin's face. "I am not saying that you should not, just that I would not. My marriage to Stewart was decided by my parents, and I did everything I could to be a good wife, at least until I realised that no matter what I did, I could never make him happy."

"I wish you had not gone through such pain with him."

"He is gone now and cannot hurt me anymore, but do you not see? I could only marry for love if I were to marry again. I long to be cherished, to be valued; if I cannot have that, I will be happiest alone. You are in a different situation and should make the decision that benefits you. Everyone's circumstances are different, and we need to act for what is most advantageous for ourselves, no matter the consequences to others. We are far too old to be obligated the way we were when we came out. Choose the path that is best for you. I do not think that is being selfish at all."

Grace squeezed her cousin's arm. "You deserve only the best," she said. "Now, let us stop this and look to the future. How do you fancy seeking out some handsome Italian to sweep you off your feet? I have heard they consider themselves very romantic."

"That sounds like a perfect plan."

Comments

0 Comments
Best Newest

Contents
Settings
  • T
  • T
  • T
  • T
Font

Welcome to FullEpub

Create or log into your account to access terrific novels and protect your data

Don’t Have an account?
Click above to create an account.

lf you continue, you are agreeing to the
Terms Of Use and Privacy Policy.