8. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

"The fuck you calling me so goddamn early for? This better be good," I grumble at Creed. Wish he'd find somewhere else to transfer to. Part of me thought maybe he stuck around hoping to get another shot at Ember, but he's been respectful and kept his distance. Doesn't mean I like him enough to be friends with his ass.

"There's something for you at the gate."

My temples pound as I sit up. My feet hit the floor of one of the guest rooms of the clubhouse. I fucking drank too much. "I'll be down in a few. This better fucking be good."

After hitting the head, I trudge down the stairs, nearly missing the bottom one. I'm so damn exhausted. Mentally and physically.

"Fuck." A couple of rocks dig into the souls of my feet as I trek barefoot across the lot toward the gate where Creed stands shooting the shit with my babydoll. Though I suppose she's not mine anymore. The realization stabs me straight in the heart even if I'm the one who ended things. Ember has to discover who she is and what she wants in life without me pressuring her. Fucking kills me to know I may not be the father of her children, but she made me realize that I want kids. That I want a woman by my side who is all in for me, even if it won't be her in the end.

Maybe she should get a taste of a man like Creed. One who will hook his claws in, then shred her heart in the worst way. That's the asshole in me talking. I don't want to be bitter, but I am. Mad at myself for rushing too damn fast. Mad at her for not being honest with me, but especially herself. She kissed T-bird to push me away. My response may be delayed, but she's getting her wish.

"You shouldn't be here."

Creed lifts his chin at me and gives us some privacy by abandoning his post and going back to the clubhouse.

"We can't end like this. I love you."

"Wish I could believe that. I think you are in love with the idea of being in love and I wish that was enough for me. That's what makes this decision harder. Prodigy had it right. You need to have fun and live life more. I won't tie you down to a sorry bastard like me. Not like this. "

"I want to be with you."

"Nah, babe. Can't have it both ways. Can't be running around flirting and stealing kisses while on my arm claiming to love me. That's disrespectful to me and you."

"I don't understand. You said we'd take our time."

"Thought we could, but one thing I've realized is that life happens whether or not we want it to. I don't want to wait, and I don't want to put that kind of pressure on you. Wouldn't be fair."

"Smoke, please. We can work through this."

"Not this time. I should have left you alone. You need to be with someone who is in it for a good time, not a long time, babe. I can't be that for you. I don't want that. And if I pressure you, eventually you'll resent me. I can't do that to either of us."

"This can't be what you want. I don't believe this. One mistake. I made one mistake. You can't hold one thing over my head forever."

"It's not the kiss. It's everything. I won't hold you back or take drastic measures to trap you. I was having thoughts of tossing your birth control and knocking you up, so you'd say yes to being my Ol' Lady. I wanted to give you a beautiful life so much I was getting desperate to make it happen. I don't want to be a man who takes your choices away. Would make me no better than your father. Love can't come with conditions and strings. I've gotta cut you off from my life and give you space. You can't grow into the person you're meant to be if I'm tying you down. All I ask is you don't date anyone from the club. I'll be by tomorrow to grab some shit for my trip. I'll do it when you're at work."

"So, this is it? We're over and I'm supposed to move on and pretend we never happened? Just like that? I'm to go find random guys and mess around with them and you'll what? Go off to California and fuck some random skank? Is that what you're doing? Dumping me so you can go off and fuck other people and not feel guilty or piss my brother off?"

"Don't cheapen me to that. In the past, yeah. That's exactly what this'd be, but I'm doing this for you. Not me. If I had what I wanted, babydoll... you'd already have my last name and be having my baby. This isn't about what I want, but what you need. Go home."

"If you love me, you won't do this."

"You mean if you loved me, we wouldn't be standing here having this conversation? You can't come around here anymore."

"You don't get to make that decision. My brother belongs to this club, same as you do."

"He'll agree when I talk to him."

"I hate you. "

"Good. Then maybe you'll fucking listen and go live your life away from here."

"You'll regret this. You're going to miss me," she says, with a slight crack in her voice.

"Already do," I whisper as I walk away.

Maybe I should find someone to fuck to make Ember hate me. She doesn't see it now, but I'm doing this because I love her and want better for her. If I forced her to choose one day, she'd wake up hating me for all that she missed out on.

Her father tried to control her, and she rebelled by running away at the first chance she got.

I won't put her in that position. I don't want to be that man.

I enter the clubhouse and ask the last motherfucker I want to for a favor. "See that she makes it home safe," I bark at Creed.

"You can count on me."

"No doubt." I trudge back up the stairs alone, having no doubt that now that my back is turned, and Ember is free game, he'll make a move and there's not a damn thing I can do to stop him.

At the top of the stairs, I meet Angel. One of the clubwhores. If I didn't know better, I'd think she's here waiting for me on Creed's orders. I know they fuck around .

"Looks like Creed's busy. Want to keep me company?"

I should tell her to stay the fuck away from me. I learned my lesson with Shiloh the hard way. I need someone or something to take my anger out on, and Angel doesn't care how rough a brother gets. She knows she's a filthy little fuck doll that serves one purpose.

"Yeah, sweetheart. You can suck my dick."

She drops to her knees right here and unzips my jeans, springing my cock free. Wrapping her hand around the base, she gets to work trying to get me hard.

I close my eyes and pretend she's the woman I let go. My pretty little babydoll with big blue eyes and pouty lips. Angel is her opposite. Blonde with big tits as fake as her hair color.

Her tongue glides up and down my shaft as she pumps her fist around the base and I dig my fingers into the crown of her hair, knowing this is all wrong, but I have nothing left to lose.

At least that's what I'm thinking until I hear her voice. "I just wanted to give you your keys. Creed is…" Ember cuts off, her voice cracking as a guttural sob rips from her throat as she realizes what's happening.

Angel doesn't stop and I don't push her away. She suctions her hot mouth around me tighter, going for fucking gold .

If this doesn't seal my fate, nothing will.

The keys clang on the stairs as they hit.

"I hate you," Ember cries in a strangled whisper, punching me in the back as Creed drags her away.

My dick isn't even hard. Doesn't stop Angel from staying latched to my dick. Bitch is desperate and I hate myself enough to encourage her to keep going.