11. River

11

RIVER

“ Y ou are going down.” I watched Adam hurl a handful of water at Lex, his matching blue eyes sparkling as he dunked his twin brother under the water.

“Come on, River! Save me from this maniac!” Lex hollered between breaths, dashing behind me as if I could shield him from Adam’s playful wrath when teamed up with Emery.

Adam’s chuckle rippled through the air, warm and infectious. I couldn’t help but join in, scooping water in my palms and pouring it over Lex’s head, much to his mock indignation.

“Traitor!”

“Hey, just protecting my own interests.”

We messed around in the water until my fingers were like prunes. It reminded me of when Adam’s parents would rent a cabin by the lake in Stillwater and take me along on their family vacation. Me and the guys would practically spend the whole time in the water, coming out only when their mom called us in with promises of her amazing food.

It was on one of those vacations that I’d asked Jack if I could work at the restaurant. I’d always been fascinated by the way Jack ran the restaurant and how much it was part of the fabric of the Spencer family. Being an only child to a single parent, I’d craved being part of something like that. Something bigger that was also part of the community.

Speaking of which, I was due a call to my mom. A few years ago, she left her nursing job to do contract work abroad because she wanted to travel more now that I was an adult.

We had a great relationship, but I wouldn’t say we were super close. As a single mom, she’d worked all the hours she could get at the hospital, which meant I’d spent my time with Adam and his family or at home alone.

I loved my mom, but I certainly couldn’t say our relationship had the same level of connection as the Spencer parents and their sons.

Still, I missed her, and it had been a while since I’d received a postcard from her, so I should check in and see how the South of France was treating her.

“River, you coming?” Lex called out. He was already heading back to the beach to join Noah and Lior, who’d gone back earlier.

“Be right there,” I responded, glancing at Adam. He was gazing out toward the horizon. I couldn’t blame him for being more introspective than usual, but I knew there would always be a part of me that wanted to fix things for him.

“Race you back,” Adam said, splashing water in my direction.

“Bring it on,” I shot back. I was nothing if not competitive. Hey, I worked in the restaurant business. Competitive was my middle name. Besides, he already had the best fisherman title.

We joined the others just as Noah emerged from the resort’s thatched bar, a tray of vividly hued cocktails balanced expertly in his hands. I watched him weave through clusters of beachgoers like a pro.

“Here comes the liquid sunshine!” Noah announced.

“About time, dude,” Lex teased, reaching for a glass garnished with a slice of pineapple and a tiny umbrella.

“Cheers to another day in paradise,” Noah said, lifting his cocktail high before taking a long sip.

“Paradise indeed,” Adam echoed.

“Speaking of paradise,” Noah continued, settling into the lounger already taken by Lior and leaning back. Lior wrapped his arms around Noah, kissing his shoulder. “I’ve been thinking. We should make a thing of this.”

“Of what?” Lex asked.

“Just us. Chilling and hanging out. Our very own annual bro-cation.”

“Dude, I already see you every day,” Adam said, and Noah threw the little umbrella from his drink at his brother.

Lex leaned forward on his lounger, resting his elbows on his knees. “Noah has a point. Spencer Brothers PR is more than just a business. It’s more than the next big project or making a name for ourselves.”

“True,” Adam mused, sipping his drink through the straw. “It’s about family. Keeping this connection strong, no matter how busy we get.”

“Exactly,” Noah agreed. “It’s why we started this whole venture. To build something of our own, something as big as Lusitana that is just ours.”

“Plus, these getaways give us the chance to unwind and enjoy what our hard work can afford us,” Lex added, reclining beside Emery with a contented sigh.

“Here’s to traditions,” I toasted, raising my glass toward the brothers, each so different, yet every single one a Spencer through and through.

“Here’s to traditions,” they echoed.

The laughter and conversation flowed as freely as the drinks, and I couldn’t help but feel a surge of appreciation for these moments.

“Speaking of success,” Noah began, turning toward me with a relaxed grin, the fading light catching the glint in his eyes, “How’s Lusitana holding up? Last I heard, you guys were booked solid for months.”

“Actually, it’s never been better,” I replied, my chest swelling with a quiet pride that I rarely allowed myself to acknowledge. “We’re experimenting with new flavors, fusing traditional dishes with modern twists but staying true to your family’s Portuguese roots. People seem to love it.”

“And you’ve got that farm-to-table thing going on too, right?” Lex chimed in. “Eco-friendly and gourmet—talk about hitting the jackpot.”

“Something like that.” A smile crept onto my lips as I thought about the restaurant, my sanctuary. To pour passion into cuisine, to watch strangers unite over a dining experience I helped create—it was more than just work. It was sharing a piece of myself, an act of service that connected me to this family, to Adam.

“Hey, you know what you need, River?” Lex asked with a mischievous wink. “A good hookup to celebrate your achievements. How about that bartender Morgan? He’s been eyeing you every time we drop by for drinks.”

Adam’s chuckle joined Lex’s teasing, but I could sense an undercurrent of something else in his tone. “Yeah, Morgan’s not bad-looking. What do you say, Riv?”

Not this again.

“Guys, come on,” I tried to laugh it off, though I couldn’t quite meet Adam’s gaze. “I’m pretty happy with how things are at the moment.”

“Sure, sure,” Lex drawled, unconvinced, but he let it slide, turning back to finish his cocktail with a satisfied slurp.

Adam’s eyes lingered on me a second longer, searching, before he also redirected his attention to the horizon.

“I’m going for a short walk before getting ready for dinner. My ass is numb from sitting here all this time,” I said.

Sand clung to my feet as I walked, the waves kissing my feet every time they came up the shore.

Relief washed over me as I walked, yet a weight lingered on my chest. One I’d been shouldering for far too long. My feelings for Adam were like the molecular structures tattooed on my arms—intricate, complex, and bonded by invisible forces.

Some days, the secrets I carried felt too heavy a burden. Now, as I gazed at the expanse of water beside me, I wondered if I could share at least one of those secrets. I’d always been too afraid in case Adam made assumptions that were way too close to the truth, but it also meant I wasn’t being my authentic self with the one person who knew more about me than anyone else.

“River. Wait.”

“Adam,” I replied. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to apologize for Lex and Noah back there,” he began, his tone sincere. “They don’t know when to stop sometimes.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” I managed. “It’s just…their timing wasn’t great.”

“Timing?” he echoed, stepping closer, his gaze never leaving mine.

“Never mind,” I said, looking down at my feet, suddenly finding the patterns in the sand fascinating.

“River,” he said softly, moving to stand beside me, watching the waves roll in. “You’re always there for me, for everyone else. Let me in. Sometimes, it feels like there’s this barrier between us. I can’t see it, but I can feel it.”

“Sometimes questions are better left unasked.”

“Maybe,” Adam repeated, quieter this time. “Or maybe we’re just afraid of the answers.”

I glanced up at him then, caught off guard by the intensity of his gaze, by the raw honesty I saw.

“Come on,” he said after a moment. “Let’s head back before Lex drinks all the good stuff.”

“Right. Can’t let that happen.”

We started back together, the silence between us stretching out like the infinite ocean in front of us.

“River,” he began, “why don’t you date much? I mean, you’re a great guy, and it’s not like you lack offers.”

I’d give it to him. His timing was impeccable because as much as I wanted to cling to the layers of self-preservation, there was also part of me that needed to know how Adam would react.

“It’s complicated.”

“Complicated how?” There was that gentle probing again, laced with genuine concern, and I knew there was no more evading the truth.

Taking a deep breath, I let the words tumble out. “I’m demisexual. I don’t…I can’t feel attraction to someone unless there’s an emotional bond first. A real connection.”

My confession hung in the air. For a moment, he said nothing, and that silence was louder than any reaction I had braced for. Then he nodded slowly, like he was processing this sliver of my identity I’d just laid bare before him.

“Demisexual,” he repeated, testing the word. “So, all those times people flirted with you…”

“Meant nothing,” I finished for him. “They were just faces, Adam. No matter how attractive or interested they were, without that connection, it’s like trying to admire a view with the curtains closed.”

“River,” Adam murmured, his voice carrying a note of awe mingled with something else—something deeper. “That’s…honestly, that’s really brave of you to share.”

My shoulders, which I hadn’t noticed had been tense, relaxed slightly. The fear of being misunderstood, judged even, ebbed away with the tide.

“Is that why…?” He trailed off, uncertainty flickering in his gaze.

“Is that why what?” I prompted, even though I was terrified he was about to voice my biggest fear in coming out to him.

“Nothing,” he said quickly, shaking his head. But the curiosity lingered, filled with unspoken questions.

“Adam,” I started, “there’s a lot you don’t know about me. Things I never thought I could tell anyone, especially you.”

“Especially me?” His voice held a tremor, a hint of vulnerability that matched mine.

“Because you matter more to me than anyone else,” I admitted, my voice breaking. “You always have.”

Under the darkening sky, our gazes locked again, and I wondered if he could see the truth I’d kept hidden for so long.

“Does it change things?” I asked, bracing myself for the impact of his answer, as terrifying as it was.

“No,” he said earnestly. “It doesn’t change how I see you. If anything, it makes me…respect you more.” His gaze held mine, unflinching and sincere.

“Respect me?”

“Of course. You’re true to yourself, even when it’s hard. That takes courage.”

Right there, on a beach, thousands of miles away from our reality, I saw something shift in Adam’s blue eyes, as if he were seeing me fully for the first time.

“Tell me more,” he said, demonstrating his usual hunger for knowledge.

I hesitated, keenly aware of the magnitude of this moment. “There’s not much to tell,” I confessed. “It took me a long time to figure out why I’d find someone attractive or interesting but have no desire to be intimate with them. I thought I was broken or…” Just irrevocably in love with my best friend since that kiss when we were fourteen. A kiss Adam had never brought up since.

I’d confessed one truth tonight already. I was not prepared to admit another.

That one would definitely mark the end of my friendship with Adam.