10. Adam

10

ADAM

A s consciousness crept in gently, I opened my eyes slowly, still trying to decide whether I was looking forward to the day or if I wanted to pretend to be asleep for the next week.

The familiar weight of another body beside me tugged at the edges of my drowsy mind. I turned my head to the sleepy figure and smiled.

River’s chest rose and fell with the serene rhythm of undisturbed sleep, allowing me a moment to watch his peaceful form.

I traced the line of his spine with my gaze, from the broad shoulders descending to the unexpected fullness of his ass beneath the sheet.

A subtle heat prickled my skin.

Sure, I’d seen him almost naked plenty of times. Apart from all the vacations we’d had together, including this one, we’d shared a room in college before we moved into an apartment with my brothers.

River walking into the kitchen in the morning, half-asleep, going straight to the coffee maker had been a daily occurrence. I’d caught him enough times that I’d stopped teasing him about his morning wood showing through his boxer shorts and just gotten used to the daily salute.

Sunlight painted River in warmth, showcasing his tattoos like a work of art.

Molecular structures spiraled all along his arms and across his back. I recognized the coffee molecule. His first tattoo, which he said represented his first true love.

He’d gained more tattoos over the years. Some I vaguely remembered the meaning of. Others were new. I wondered when he’d gotten them done.

On his calf, among the scientific renderings, bloomed edible flowers, showcasing his passions for food, service, and beauty.

In that quiet moment, my heart swelled with something I couldn’t name.

A week ago, if anyone had told me I’d be sharing a bed with River, I’d have laughed. If Victoria had been present, she’d have stomped out.

I’d known River for so long that he was an automatic part of my life. A constant, like breathing. I’d never felt embarrassed about seeing him undress and didn’t have a problem getting undressed in front of him. I didn’t care that he was gay, and it never occurred to me that, as a man, I could be the kind of guy he was attracted to.

If I was, he’d never let it show.

My intrusive thoughts were broken when a soft sigh escaped River’s lips. I held my breath, afraid to disturb him.

Or afraid to get caught.

River shifted, a quiet inhale followed by a less quiet exhale. My heart stuttered, and I snapped my eyes shut, pretending to be asleep.

Once I was sure he was still asleep, I slid from the warmth of the sheets and made my way to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I leaned against the wooden door, taking a moment to gather myself.

What was I doing staring at my friend’s almost-naked body? Even more confusing was that I wasn’t just morning wood hard. I was need-to-get-off-right-now hard.

Stripping off my clothes, I stepped into the shower, not waiting for the water to warm up. The cold spray of the water, a stark contrast to the heat pooled in my belly, offered only temporary relief.

I pressed my forehead against the cool tile. The water sluiced over me but couldn’t wash away the images etched into my mind. The curves of River’s body bathed in morning light, the tattoos that etched his history across his skin, the peace that radiated from him as he slept, unaware of my tumultuous thoughts.

What was this pull I suddenly felt toward my best friend? Was it the shock of Victoria’s departure that made me reach for something familiar, the time we spent together yesterday, or was it something that had always been there, under my skin, waiting to be released?

I pressed more of my upper body against the cool tiles, seeking support for my trembling legs. My hand made its way across my chest, trailing lower, driven by a compulsion I couldn’t control.

Each stroke of my cock was powered by the unexplainable need to get off. I hadn’t had sex in weeks, and with the stress of the wedding, I’d been too tired to jerk off.

That was it. I just needed to get off, and everything would go back to normal.

With my eyes sealed shut, I surrendered to the fantasy. River’s laugh, warm and genuine, rang in my ears, intertwining with the sound of the falling water. I could almost feel the press of his body against mine, solid and real.

“River…” I moaned, his name falling from my lips as my pace quickened, chasing a release that scratched just under my skin.

Each breath came sharper than the last, punctuated by the rhythm I set against my own skin, desperately imagining it was my best friend guiding me to the edge.

In the steam-filled shower, where the world beyond the glass doors ceased to exist, I allowed myself this transgression. One I couldn’t name or comprehend, but it just felt so damned good, I couldn’t bring myself to resist.

The buildup of pleasure approached, relentless and consuming, as my breath hitched in my throat. My hand moved faster and faster until the tingling sensation in my balls built up to my spine. The elusive bliss that had hovered just out of reach was now within my grasp.

My thoughts swirled with the image of River, his smile, those almost-translucent eyes that mirrored the passion for all the things he loved.

With my mind filled with thoughts of my best friend, I came so hard I had to lock my knees so I wouldn’t slip down.

“Adam?” River’s voice pierced through the veil of steam, shattering the moment. My hand stilled, my eyes flying open to the clinical white bathroom tiles as I watched my release running down the drain. All evidence washed away. I stood there, water still cascading down my back, my heart thundering against my ribs.

“Y-Yeah?” I croaked, the word barely carrying over the sound of the shower.

“Everything okay?”

“Fine, just…dropped the soap.” The lie was clumsy. If I’d told him I was jerking off, he wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but with the realization of what I’d done hitting me, I couldn’t bring myself to even joke about it.

With trembling hands, I turned off the water, the sudden silence leaving room for my errant thoughts. Why River? Why now? The questions pummeled my conscience, each one a reminder of the line I’d unwittingly crossed.

“Lex asked if we’re meeting them for breakfast. They want to hit the beach before it gets too hot.”

I got out of the shower, avoiding looking at my reflection in the mirror.

“Sure. I’ll be right out.”

“Can you hurry up? Gotta take a leak,” River said, oblivious to my betrayal of our friendship.

Clutching a towel from the rack, I wrapped it securely around my waist, the fabric clinging to the dampness of my skin.

Stepping into the bedroom, I almost ran into River, who practically pushed me out of the way to get into the bathroom. At least that gave me some precious minutes to get my head straight.

“What were you doing in here that took you so long? Jerking off?” he asked from behind the door.

“What do you think? It’s my honeymoon, after all.”

My comment was met with silence until I heard the sound of the shower running.

I got dressed in my swim trunks and a T-shirt and went over to the balcony. Maybe fresh ocean air was what I needed to reset.

A large group of people took over a row of sun loungers by the pool. I tried to take my mind off what I’d done by people-watching, but then my gaze locked in on one of the couples in the group. Two guys sat facing each other on a lounger.

They were smiling and talking, and occasionally, they’d touch each other’s hands. I couldn’t tell if they were friends or more.

When someone brought them over their drinks, they toasted and then shared a short kiss.

I couldn’t look away even if I felt like I was intruding on their moment.

“You need to get a grip, Adam,” I muttered to myself as I sat on a chair facing away from the group.

“Hey,” River said, coming out to join me after a while. His voice was bright and happy like he was ready to face the day and have fun.

Fun.

I’d had some of that already.

“Ready to go down?” he asked.

“Huh.”

“For breakfast. Are you okay? You look flushed.” He pressed a hand against my forehead, but I pushed it off.

“I’m fine. It’s too hot out already, that’s all. Let’s go.”

I couldn’t tell if he could sense my unease, but I was acutely aware of the space where our friendship ended and this new, confusing territory began. A line had been crossed, even if only in my mind, and now I stood on unfamiliar ground.

“Ladies, gents, and enbies, let’s welcome our new grooms!” Noah teased as we sat at the breakfast table.

“You’re not even half as funny as you think you are,” I said, grabbing the pot of coffee from the center of the table.

“Are you saying you aren’t following the honeymoon ritual of making sweet loooove all night?” Lex added. “Even after we left you alone all day yesterday?”

“Not you too,” I said, rolling my eyes. I picked up the menu and scanned through the omelet options.

“Good morning, gentlemen. I’m Morgan, and I’m here to take your breakfast orders if you’d like anything from the menu.”

I looked up to find myself staring at the bartender from our first night at the resort.

“You’re the bartender,” River said, smiling at the guy.

My gut twisted and I lost the appetite I had. “I’ll just go hit the buffet.” I pushed away from the table and went searching for carbs. Pilling up eggs, ham, croissants, and chocolate spread, I didn’t return to the table until the guy was gone.

“He’s really nice,” Emery said.

“You’d say that, baby. He agreed to serve you pancakes with ice cream for breakfast,” Lex added.

“Seriously though, the guy is hot, and he seems to have a soft spot for River,” Noah said.

“I don’t think so,” River said, and the twist in my belly eased a little.

“What’s the plan for today? Beach and then what? Are we swimming with the sharks or the turtles?” I asked, grabbing a croissant and stuffing it in my mouth.

Food, coffee, and some kind of physical activity. That’s what I needed.

“I was actually joking about the sharks,” Noah said. “There’s only one set of teeth I want on my skin, and it’s sitting at this table.”

Lior ran his hand over his face in a clear sign of resignation, but the corners of his lips raised a little as he looked at my brother.

Damn, what would it feel to have that kind of love? The one where you can be totally deranged like my brother, and instead of being put down for it, your partner finds you amusing and adorable.

I glanced at River, who looked from Noah to me and wiggled his brows.