22. Unpretty and the Slay Squad

UNPRETTY AND THE SLAY SQUAD

PENELOPE

" Y ou want to know how we're going to handle this? Together. That's how. Because I love you, Penelope Quinn. I'm in love with you, and I'm not ashamed of it. I'm proud of it. Of us."

The room fell silent. I could feel everyone's eyes on us, but all I could see was Everett. He loved me. Everett Kingman, the man who could have any woman he wanted, loved me. And I couldn't even say it back.

"I love you, Penelope."

He said it again. Out loud. In front of everyone. Like I hadn't heard him the first time. Since I didn't say a damn thing, be probably thought I didn't hear him or I didn't understand. No taking it back now.

I stood there, frozen, aware of everyone's eyes on us. The room was silent, but out of the corner of my eye, I could see Kelsey was beaming, Neith looked surprised but pleased, and even Declan had a hint of a smile on his usually grumpy face. But all I could focus on was Everett, his eyes full of hope and fear and love.

Love. For me.

Fear that I didn't love him back.

This couldn't be real. Men like Everett didn't fall for women like me. It had to be a mistake, a cruel joke. Any second now, he'd laugh and say, "Just kidding."

I couldn't breathe. My chest was caving in.

Because while the traumas of my past were bubbling and boiling just under the surface, hurting me to get my attention, I didn't actually believe that.

Everett loved me.

And I loved him.

I looked into his eyes, saw the vulnerability there, and I knew this was all real, if I let it be. This was Everett, my Everett. The man who'd seen me at my worst, spewing verbal diarrhea all over poor unsuspecting men, who'd then snuggled up with me to watch rom-coms and eat popcorn so I wouldn't think about how I'd made a total embarrassment out of myself, who laughed when I'd spilled coffee on him while trying to hook him up with someone else, and who fell in love with me when I poured a beer over his head.

The man who'd never once made me feel less than beautiful.

I was the only one who made me feel unpretty.

I was tired. Tired of doubting. Tired of letting my insecurities win. I just wasn't sure how to change that.

But I never would fix my problems by hiding. And nothing in the history of the world had ever been made better by denying love. Especially not when it was right in front of you.

Everett opened his mouth, and I was sure he was going to say he loved me again. But I pressed my fingers over his lips and let my heart take over.

"I love you too," I said, my voice stronger than I expected. "I love you, Everett, and I'm scared, and excited, and you're the only person I'd want to go through all of this with."

Everett's face broke into a grin so bright it could have lit up the whole room. He pulled me into his arms, and I melted into his embrace, not caring that we had an audience.

"Well, thank God for that," Kelsey's voice broke through our bubble. "I was about ready to lock you two in the basement again until you figured it out."

I laughed, turning in Everett's arms to face our friends. The room suddenly felt warmer, safer. This was my family now, I realized. These people who supported us, who were ready to fight for us.

"Alright, lovebirds," Declan grumbled, but I could hear the affection in his voice. "Now that we've got that settled, can we please figure out how to take this fatphobic douchecanoe down? I volunteer to just go sit on him until he cries uncle."

The reality of the outside world, the people who wanted to hurt me, came crashing back. And I wanted to throw up. Which wasn't a very nice thing to do ten seconds after someone just declared they loved you.

So I held it in. I let it bubble and boil inside.

We had barely started brainstorming when the front door burst open, a whirlwind of energy sweeping into the room.

"Alright, fam, the slay squad has arrived," Jules announced, striding in with Trixie close behind. "Oh, and Pen? I'm totally calling you sis from now on. You snuck in on me. Love it. Welcome to the Kingman Queens."

Everett's little sister was cool as hell. Her enthusiasm was infectious, and it made me smile too.

Trixie, ever the calm in the storm, gave me a warm hug. "How are you holding up, honey? Are we ordering in commiseration ice cream before planning Odin's trip to Valhalla or are we going straight to the Valkyrie ride?"

"Better now," I admitted, glancing at Everett. He winked at me, and my face warmed like I'd had too much red wine, but there was also the heat in my stomach worrying about how any of this was going to help.

"Okay, people," Neith said, taking charge. "We need a plan. Odin's threat is real. He's got a lot of followers, and while you two were playing kissy face, I was monitoring the socials. He's got his garbage followers already reposting and there's some content from them popping up already. We need to get ahead of it."

Jules plopped down on the couch, her eyes gleaming with mischief. "Oh, I've got plans. That axeface won't know what hit him."

"Jules," Everett warned, but I could see he was fighting a smile.

Trixie pulled out her tablet. "I've sent the bat signal out to the Take Up Space Network. We're ready to mobilize at a moment's notice. We just need to know the plan."

"What exactly are we dealing with here?" Declan asked, his brow furrowed. "What's this guy's angle?"

I took a deep breath. "Odin's planning an exposé series. He wants to reveal what he calls 'fake' body positivity advocates. And... I am clearly his first target."

Kelsey huffed. "You're an important voice, Pen."

Neith nodded and said, "Yes, but most of your platform is the Besties. I think he's going to wait and see how this hits, and if he gets traction, you're likely next Kelsey."

"God, I'm so sorry I opened you up to this, Kelsey. It might be better if... if I separated from the company."

The room fell silent for a moment and Everett's arm tightened around me. But Kelsey pointed at me and shook her head. "Not on your life. If anything, I should be the one apologizing to you. He's picking on you because he's afraid of me."

"As he fucking should be," Declan cut in.

"He knows he can hit at my platform, my fans, my people, through you, but he thinks he won't feel my wrath if he doesn't strike directly at me? That's some bullshit right there. And we are going to take him down."

Her voice was powerful, low, and fierce. "We will hit back in a way he won't even see coming."

We all waited with bated breath to hear her plan.

"With positivity. When he goes low, we go high. We're going to flood social media with real stories, real bodies, real love. We are going to drown him in pure unadulterated joy."

"I like it," Neith nodded. "We could do a video series, get influential voices to speak out against body shaming."

"Ooh, I feel a hashtag campaign coming on," Jules exclaimed. "#RealBodyLove or #OdinCanSuckOnHisAxe or something like that."

The room buzzed with ideas and energy, and a familiar feeling tightened my chest. Everyone was so ready to fight, so confident in our ability to take on Odin. But inside, I was still that insecure girl, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Guys," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. The chatter died down, and all eyes turned to me. I took a deep breath. "I appreciate all of this, really. But... I don't know if I can do this."

Everett's arm tightened around me. "Pen, what do you mean?"

I looked up at him, fighting the roiling in my chest and stomach. "Even when you told me you loved me, my first thought was that you must be kidding. That this couldn't be real."

Hurt flashed across his face and hurried on. "It's not that I don't believe you love me, Ev. It's me. These doubts... they don't just go away because we said I love you to each other."

The room fell silent. I could feel the weight of everyone's concern, and it made me feel even smaller.

"Oh, honey," Kelsey said softly, moving to sit on my other side. "Remember what we talked about at the spa?"

I shrugged. I remembered feeling empowered that day, and I'd declared that I was stronger, but what had felt like a giant leap had turned out to be one small step for chubby-girl-kind.

Kelsey, who knew me and the journey I'd been on since meeting her better than anyone else, saw right through me. "I know you don't believe it yet, Pen, but we weren't blowing smoke up your ass when we told you that no one is totally confident all the time. We all struggle against these ridiculous beauty standards."

"But that's just it," I said, the words tumbling out now. "I'm supposed to be this beacon of body positivity. I tell people to love themselves, to embrace their bodies. But what if... what if Odin found out I don't believe in what I'm preaching? What if he exposes all the times I've felt insecure, all the posts where I claimed to be happy with my body when, deep down, I was struggling?"

Jules leaned forward, her usual mischief replaced with something so powerful, I couldn't even begin to understand what was stoking the fires in her soul. "Pen, that doesn't make you fake. It makes you human."

Trixie nodded in agreement. "Authenticity isn't about being perfect. It's about being real, struggles and all."

"They're right," Everett said, gently turning my face towards his. "Your journey, your struggles—they're what makes your message so powerful. You're not speaking from some unreachable place of perfection. You're in the trenches, fighting the same battle as everyone else."

I bit my lip and looked him right in the abs. "Everyone?"

"Baby, you should have seen how nervous I was at the KnightWear photoshoot." He glanced over at his brother and shrugged. "I've never told anyone this, but I threw up twice."

"What? But..." He was fit, he was perfect by every standard out there. He had a six pack and those deliciously wide shoulders, and muscles where I didn't even know muscles grew.

"And do you know that they still photoshopped the pictures? You've seen my ass. It's not shaped like that. That's an artist's rendering of my butt." He made a disgusted face that said he did not approve of these messages.

I took his hand and kissed his fingers. "I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm flabbergasted too. I... I guess everyone really can have body insecurities."

Neith, ever the pragmatist, spoke up. "Penelope, your vulnerability could be your greatest strength here. What if, instead of trying to hide your struggles, we embrace them?"

Ugh. Now I was going to be the one to throw up twice, because I had a horrible feeling I knew exactly what she wanted me to do. I asked anyway just in case I was wrong. "How do you mean?"

"What if we get ahead of Odin? What if you share your journey, doubts and all, on your own terms? Show the world that body positivity is a journey, with twists and turns and falls and mountains, not some sunny, beachy, perfect destination."

I was right. I was going to throw up. "But what if I suck it up, buttercup, and let people see that struggle, those vulnerabilities, and it's not enough? What if people feel betrayed? Because that's not what I've been saying all along."

"Then we help them see by the rest of us also showing them the truth," Kelsey said firmly. "We show them that body positivity isn't about never having doubts. It's about loving yourself despite those doubts, about fighting back against a world that tries to make us feel small."

I looked around the room and saw nods of agreement.

"Look, Pen," Everett said, his voice gruff and gravely, "you've got an army behind you. We're not fighting because we think you're perfect. We're fighting because we know you're real. And that's worth a hell of a lot more."

I blinked a hundred times, holding back the tears welling up, but for the first time in forever, they weren't tears of fear.

"Thank you," I whispered. "All of you. I... I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this. But I want to try."

Everett pulled me close, pressing a kiss to my temple. "You are strong enough. And on the days you don't feel strong, you've got all of us to lean on."

I still felt the weight of my insecurities, of the self-doubt that I'd tried my best to shove under the carpet for years. But now, it felt a little lighter. Maybe, just maybe, my struggles could help others feel less ashamed, less alone, and less unloved too.