Chapter 8 - Flynn

I glance at the window overlooking the town and facing the direction of the main house, wondering if Lila is still there. I’d been on the brink of uttering words of remorse for the type of behavior I’d displayed in the past. Perhaps I would have offered her an explanation, too. Sighing heavily, I drag my gaze back to the room when Miles speaks.

“They’ve agreed to have the meeting on Monday,” Miles informs me, pushing the binder I’ve already seen forward.

Missing only my signature, it’s my father who’s been against me signing it just yet. He strongly adheres to every rule set out by our forefathers and won’t accept that I’ve fully stepped into my role without the mating ritual completed. It’s not like the other werewolf packs in Oklahoma are waiting for me to complete this worthless rite. They’re only waiting for me to sign the damn contract.

It’s a silly rule, while somehow the founding werewolves of the Blood Moon Pack forgot to mention that an Alpha should not pick a wolf-less Omega as his mate.

That would have saved me all this trouble. Even if my inner wolf sprung out to call her name that night, I could have mended the situation if there had been a loophole in our book of rules.

Even then, I’m not sure that I would have really backed out.

It’s only the withering look she’d given me in the foyer of my home that has me regretting what I’m about to do.

“This is bullshit, anyway,” I grumble with a grunt, lifting the binder and tossing it back toward Miles. “Technically, I’m already the Alpha. What’s the worst that could happen if I just signed the damn thing?”

I huff as I step out of my seat and march to the window, where I can get a better view of the house.

“Um…you might get cursed,” Howard offers, to which I scoff.

“Cursed?!” I chuckle. “I’m of Alpha blood, Delta. Why would the Moon Goddess curse me?”

“Rules, I guess,” the Delta shrugs. “We’ve never broken them.”

I roll my eyes and turn back to the outside view, muttering, “Rules schmules…shoulda had a rule about the fucking Ome—ah!” The exclamation thunders out over my muttering of complaints as I keel over and a hand flies to my chest. A pain slashes through my heart, feeling as if it’s being sliced beneath my ribcage. The pain is unbearable, and I have to brace a palm on the windowsill to steady myself from caving to the rippling ache.

“Flynn!”

“Alpha!”

The Beta and Delta come rushing over to offer me support to straighten up. Even when I lengthen my spine, my body quakes from the impact of another gripping lash.

“What’s going on?” Miles asks with urgency. “Are you having a heart attack?”

“No…” I shake my head, the pain only receding when I hear a mind link beginning to enter my consciousness.

It serves as a welcome distraction from whatever that was. It’s the closest thing to a heart attack I can imagine, and I strain my mind to focus on the telepathic communication coming in.

“ Alpha Flynn! We have a problem!”

“What is it, Jasper?” I groan as I soothe a palm over my chest. My Beta and Delta remain sturdy at my side as they listen in on the mind link from one of our border patrol soldiers on duty.

“ It’s Dorian Walker, Alpha of the—”

“I know who he is.” I grunt furiously under my breath. “ What is the problem, Jasper?”

“He’s on the border, demanding to see you.”

“I’m on my way,” I bellow mentally, pushing aside the residual ache in my chest to deal with the matter at hand.

Rushing out of the pack den with Miles and Howard on my heels, my inner wolf bursts through the seams of my human and propels me forward in wolf form through the woods, the trees turning to a blur in the sides of my vision, until we get to the east border where Dorian growls at my soldiers.

It’s just the Alpha representing the Nightclaw Pack, alone as he snarls and snaps his wolf mouth threateningly.

Since he’s alone, I know I have nothing to fear with my soldiers spread around in their defensive formation. As I move closer, I shift into human form to face the Alpha of Nightclaw as he does the same and faces me with a clenched jaw.

“What brings you to Zafra, Alpha Dorian?” I ask in a level tone, remaining calm while facing my late brother’s friend.

Hardly a friend, when he left him out in the valley to die by himself. A growl reverberates in my chest as I’m reminded of that tragedy, and all that Dorian could have done to save Finch.

“The rest of us are waiting on you to proceed with the details of the alliance, Flynn.”

“ Alpha Flynn,” I correct with a snarl.

Dorian growls. “You’ve been delaying this for too long, Alpha Flynn,” he snaps back. “I can’t help but wonder if it’s because you ” — he prods my chest with a pointed finger—“have something to do with the abduction of my wolves.”

I scoff in disbelief, glaring into the man’s gray eyes. “You think Blood Moon had something to do with the Nightclaw attack?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised!” he roars, glaring with equal ferocity at me. “You still think I had something to do with your brother’s death, don’t you?”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” I roar back, squaring up to him with my fists clenched, ready to throw punches. “You know what you did!”

“Get out of your fucking head, Flynn!” he yells back. “Finch begged me to leave him. He wanted to save my life. We were friends.”

“Until you became the enemy of this pack!”

Dorian shakes his head slowly. “It’s that mentality that’s gonna get you in trouble, Flynn.”

“And it’s yours that’s gonna get you in trouble, Dorian,” I grate out through gritted teeth. “Just because I despise you, it doesn’t mean I’d harm your pack.”

“Well, sign the damn treaty so we can move forward.” He points in my face. “Perhaps then we can put all our differences to rest and work together.”

“I can assure you that we’re not the enemy, Dorian.”

“You haven’t given me much reason to believe otherwise, Flynn,” Dorian scoffs before turning his heel in the dirt and pausing. He glances over his shoulder and says, “See to it that the treaty is signed. Or next time, I’ll visit Zafra with my warriors and a warrant to search your town.”

He shifts and speeds over the border, out of our territory, allowing me to loosen the tension that had stiffened my body.

“Scan the perimeter,” I instruct my wolves, who look up at me, awaiting orders. “Ensure that the Nightclaw wolf has left the vicinity, and double-up on patrols.”

My nostrils flare with the anger pent up in my chest, along with the influx of other emotions that wash over me. I can barely think clearly, marching back toward the town without offering my Beta and Delta a word before I leave.

It’s almost as if my heart is guiding my every step forward, but this time, I don’t fight my instincts. I can’t fight them when they lead me toward the pack graveyard, where all the fallen Blood Moon wolves are buried.

My feet move of their own accord, carrying me to my brother’s grave, where I sink to my knees before his tombstone. The weight of emotions comes tumbling out, flowing from my eyes as I clutch the top of the marble with his name engraved on the front.

“Brother…I wish you were here,” I lament softly, stifling the sob lodged in my throat as I trace my eyes over the name “Finch Lycoan.” My big brother, who was the first werewolf to decide to befriend the other packs. A truce, he called it, believing that remaining enemies because of territorial wars was too “backward.”

His modern approach saw him frequenting parties with the likes of Dorian Walker, who he’d been with that night. According to Dorian, they’d been outnumbered by a group of rogue werewolves who attacked and led Finch off the cliff to his death.

Dorian had raced back to Zafra to inform us of the incident, but there was so much more he could have done—unless he didn’t care at all for the future Alpha of the Blood Moon Pack.

Perhaps I didn’t care much, either. I should have been there, with Finch, when he invited me out with his friends. Instead, I was a male werewolf on the brink of receiving his wolf, getting shitfaced with friends, and caring little about the condition of the pack.

I didn’t have to shoulder responsibilities before. Now that I have to live in Finch’s shadow, I realize how wrong I was for not joining him that day. I could have done something to save him before it was too late, had I been there. All he asked of me was to befriend the other packs like he did, to do away with ancient animosities so that we could live in peace.

I didn’t understand his vision back then. And I’ve had to live with the guilt of not being there to save him. Now, I’m supposed to protect the pack, and I’m not even sure if I’m capable of that.

With an Omega wolf as my mate, how am I supposed to lead? Mother and Father are convinced that it’s a strategic move, but the truth is, I have no idea what I’m doing. I should have a strong Luna by my side, but I’ve chosen a wolf-less Omega as my mate, thanks to my inner wolf not allowing me to make a logical decision.

Goddess help me.

With cloudy vision, I stare at the tombstone, feeling as if I do not deserve to take his place.

Finch would have known what to do if he were in my shoes—the shoes he was born to fill. He wouldn’t have allowed his inner wolf to take the command while making the biggest decision of his life, leaving him without a clue as to why he felt drawn to someone who didn’t properly fit the description of what it meant to be the Luna.

In hindsight, perhaps his soft, compassionate heart wouldn’t have allowed him to be as cruel as I’d been toward Lila, either. Frowning, I follow the gentle wind that breezes through the air as it leads my gaze toward the main house, where Lila and her friend leave from the front porch.

Overwhelmed by the weight of guilt, I freeze on the spot while my sense of smell is imprisoned by a faint sweetness in the air, almost as if the scent exudes from the flowers growing over the mound of Finch’s grave, my brother compelling me to watch Lila intently while guilt gnaws on my conscience.

I sniff back the weakness that threatens my image and rise to my feet—feet that again propel me forward, sticking to the shadows to follow Lila until she arrives at her cabin. A strong pull on my heartstrings has me wanting to go forward, to interrupt her hushed conversation with her friend and ask to speak to her before the marriage ceremony.

I take a deep breath, but it doesn’t calm my nerves the way I thought it would. Instead, I’m wrestling with the bitter conflict between my head and heart, the latter sinking when she and Valerie disappear inside the cabin and the door shuts behind them.

I sigh heavily, hanging my head in shame. I have no idea what’s going through her mind, thanks to the inner wolf she doesn’t possess; as the Alpha of the pack, I could have eavesdropped on her thoughts if I wanted to. Without it, I’m in the dark about how she really feels.

It’s obvious that she hates me, though.

I cannot blame Lila for her coldness toward me. I might have matured during my time in Ouachita, fulfilling the special ops training that will prove advantageous against the unknown threat harming the surrounding packs and growing as a male who’s ready to take the leadership position. But I’ve caused too much pain to the Omega—unforgivable pain that I could have prevented if I hadn’t been so determined to uphold my image in the pack. With the pressures of being perfect, I managed the opposite of what I’d been hoping to achieve.

He believed in equality and would have never treated Lila the way I did. Living in his shadow, striving for perfection, I couldn’t possibly taint the image I worked so hard for by succumbing to the attraction I always felt for her. Even if it’s only base desire, the others would have dragged me through the dirt if they ever suspected that I was drawn to her.

Now, it doesn’t even matter anymore. Those who count believe that it’s a strategic move on my part, showcasing the pack’s unity by taking the Omega as my mate and making her the Luna.

My image doesn’t matter anymore, either. It’s something I worried about for so long that it seems I’ve wasted energy on my quest for perfection.

Perhaps my inner wolf wanted me to face the consequences of my actions.

Picking Lila as my mate is the ultimate punishment that I will have to suffer for the rest of my existence. Soon, we’ll be under one roof, where her resentment for me will see the light of day.