Chapter 7 - Lila

“I’m glad you could come by today, Lila,” Flynn’s mother, Luna Eloise, greets me with a warm hug.

“My brother told me that you’ve called for me,” I say sheepishly as I step back. “Dorothy wasn’t pleased.”

Eloise clicks her tongue. “The old hag won’t bother you once you become Luna,” she chuckles, nodding to the drawing room. “Let us sit down. We have a lot to discuss.”

I nod tentatively as I follow the Luna to the room, still reeling from how unbelievable all of this is.

Two years ago, I would have basked in the glory of hearing Flynn announce that I was his mate, instead of his blatant rejection out in the open for my abusers to hear. Right now, I want to pinch myself and wake up from this dream, which feels more like a nightmare that I don’t want to live.

I can never open my heart to Flynn Lycoan again. The one time I did, it proved to be my biggest mistake, and I’ve despised him ever since. I don’t know what else to do but pretend that I’m fine with everything that’s happening all around me, though I haven’t quite recovered from the shock.

Was this Miles’s idea of finding me a suitable mate? Is this some grand scheme plotted between the two best friends? My brother seems overjoyed to know that his best friend is now his sister’s mate. From the moment Flynn made the announcement in the hall the other night and Miles rushed to my side to hug me rejoicefully, I’ve been in a state of frozen shock.

Miles is certain that the Alpha of Blood Moon is doing what’s best for the pack. I, on the other hand, can’t see beyond the terrors I’d faced in the past. I can’t see past that one moment that changed my life forever, and the only question that remains is why?

Why me?

Why did he pick me as his mate when he had other options? The ex-Delta’s daughter was a suitable candidate, and she’d been Flynn’s girlfriend for a long time. I’m nothing but the pack’s wolf-less Omega, and my catapult toward stardom is undeserving, that’s for sure.

“If I may, Luna Eloise…?” I begin when we’ve taken our seats on the sofas covered in burgundy velvet material. Soft and lush, it almost seems fit for royalty—which, considering that the Lycoan family is the head of the Blood Moon Pack, makes sense.

I just don’t feel as if this is my rightful place.

“Yes, Lila?”

“I’d like to continue working at the center, if that’s okay.”

Eloise raises a wary brow. “You mean when you’re Luna?”

I nod, taking a deep breath as I contemplate how to put forth my suggestion without making it seem as if I’m reluctant to be the pack's Luna.

Truthfully, I want to act as if nothing has changed. After all, Flynn hasn’t apologized for how he’s treated me in the past, and I don’t see how we can move forward from it. Now that he’s the Alpha, he’s probably more ruthless than ever, unable to accept accountability for his actions.

Eloise sighs, staring at me through contemplatively narrowed eyes. “I cannot object to your desires, since you’ll have that kind of authority over what you do and don’t do, Lila. In fact, I think it’s a wise move, since the purpose of your mate bond with my son will help unify the pack.”

“Is that why…?” I frown, gulping nervously. “Is that why Flynn picked me as his mate?”

Eloise nods. “That’s partially the reason. He hasn’t said anything else, but as his mother, I know there’s more to it.”

So much for hoping that he’d one day apologize. Picking me as his mate now isn’t a fitting apology. It’s just a strategic move. That’s all this is. I’m a pawn in his game of power.

As I watch Eloise pour tea into two mugs on the side table, I can’t help but feel even more disappointed in her son. I didn’t think it was possible, but he’s completely crushed my dreams of white picket fences and a family life that would ensure my happiness.

Now, I’m meant to be the Alpha’s mate, in a pack that hates me simply for existing. I can’t even rely on connecting with my inner wolf.

It’s not like Flynn will ever see me as more than just a means to an end. He’d picked me as a power move, and we’ll never be real mates. Not the way a mate bond should be, the way Miles hoped I’d find my inner wolf.

***

I stand in the foyer of the Lycoan house, marveling at the creamy drapes covering the windows as I try swallowing the pill of what’s to come next.

Even after spending the day with Eloise and discussing the marriage ceremony that will take place this weekend, I still feel the need to pinch myself out of this mess.

The last time I’d been in this house was before I turned eighteen, just before I discovered that I was wolf-less. The younger me had no comprehension of the concept of being ostracized. I was an innocent girl with hopes and dreams.

Many of which involved Flynn Lycoan.

Now, I’m here because I’m about to marry the male werewolf who despicably humiliated me in front of other members of the pack, single-handedly causing this numbness I’ve become accustomed to. A numbness that won’t let me see past the awful treatment I've endured.

Hugging my arms over my chest, I observe the painting hanging over the fireplace, a smile growing on my face. It’s a simple painting of the Zafra town square that boasts the trader’s market. The families who live around the vegetation area each contribute an essential necessity for survival in the town. Their oil-painted figures appear only as silhouettes in the painting, and it’s not really what the painting depicts that has me smiling and drifting off into a fond memory.

I was probably about sixteen when the Sinclair family delivered the painting ordered by the ex-Alpha, Silas. Flynn’s father ordered it in his late son’s name—a token to keep his memory alive, since Flinch Lycoan adored this particular spot in the market. They’d decided to celebrate with lunch, and asked my brother and me to stay.

I’d only been at the Lycoan house because of Miles, who was visiting his best friend. I was roped into helping the cook in the kitchen, when a freak accident ended with stitches in the hand I cut with a sharp knife.

It was Flynn who stitched me up. In hindsight, I can’t picture him being as caring as he was back then, fussing over the accident and scolding the cook for expecting me to help while I was a guest. It was that very moment of kindness that sparked something inside my heart. A flicker of Flynn’s endearing, compassionate nature that had me watching him with starry eyes as he fixed my hand with sutures and ointment.

I sigh forlornly; the memory that was once dear to my heart has now become a figment of my imagination, and somehow, I still can’t part with it.

The clearing of a throat beside me jolts me from my thoughts, and I gasp when I glance to my right to find Flynn standing there with his arms folded, staring at the painting.

“You remember when this was delivered…?” he asks softly, not taking his eyes off the painting.

I gulp, turning back to the painting to stare intently. “Yes. I was here.”

“You cut your hand that day,” he says matter-of-factly.

I respond with a gulp, trying my best not to mistake his recollection as anything more than him trying to be amicable. From my periphery, I catch him glancing at me, but remain glued to the painting.

“I did. But I lived,” I say without emotion.

“I’m glad you did.”

The softness in his voice prompts me to turn with a frown when I meet his eyes. Golden hues that have softened noticeably stare at me, his lips parting as if he’s about to say something. My heart skips a beat as the tiniest flicker of hope is sparked.

Until he suddenly drops his head and groans irritably, lifting a hand to press at his temples. His brows furrow tightly when he looks up again, that brutal coldness washing over his face.

He says nothing when he spins on his heel and storms out through the front door. I hold my breath, anticipating the thunderous slam of the door, when my best friend appears.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she observes with a wary frown as she steps into the main house and gently closes the door behind her.

I let out the breath I’d been holding, relief washing over me, only because I no longer feel so alone. That’s the reason I called Valerie over.

I can hardly get through this masquerade by myself. I rush to her, flinging my arms over her for a much-needed hug.

“Okay, now you have me genuinely concerned,” Valerie chuckles nervously as she steps back, scanning my face with narrowed eyes.

“I need your help, Val,” I whisper, my bottom lip trembling as if I’m on the verge of tears. I’m about to continue when Eloise comes back with her wedding dress.

“Here it is,” she holds the dress up with a proud smile. “I had it altered, now all that’s left is for you to try it on.”

***

“What was that all about?” Valerie asks as we head to my cabin after the dress-fitting in the Lycoan house.

“I don’t think I can go through with this, Val,” I sigh, clutching tighter to her arm as we enter the woods.

“With the marriage?”

“Uh-huh.” We near the door, a heavy sigh falling from my lips. “You know what happened between Flynn and me. There’s no way that this can happen. He hasn’t picked me because there’s a future for us. His mother told me that it’s a strategic move.”

“A strategic move?”

I nod, going on to explain how Luna Eloise so eloquently described this mate bond as a placeholder for the image of a strong united front.

It’s not like he’s doing this because of me, or because he remotely cares about my feelings. I’m just collateral in the grand schemes of his reign. We’ll never be real mates. What’s the point, anyway? Any hope that Miles might have had to connect me to my inner wolf is gone.

“I have to find a way out of this, Val,” I sigh.

“Well, you can’t reject him, Lila. He’s the Alpha now,” she worries as she follows me into the empty cabin.

“It’s not fair, Valerie,” I sigh, disheartened. “I can’t be forced into doing something I don’t wanna do. Just because I’m the Omega—”

“Is this because you still have feelings for him?" she speculates with a raised brow when she takes a seat at the kitchen table.

I hang behind the chair, clutching the backrest so tightly that my knuckles pale. “That’s not important.”

“Answer the ques—”

“N-no! Of course, not!” I object, shaking my head fervently. “I hate him for what he did, Val. There’s no way I can ever see myself living with him. Besides, I was hoping that a mate bond would help me connect with my inner wolf. This way, I have no hope.”

“Then what do you wanna do? It’s not like you have a choice.”

“I could…” I pause with a gulp, the idea suddenly coming to mind. “I could run away.”

“Run away?!” Valerie exclaims. “Are you insane?!”

I shrug diffidently. “It’s the only way I can save myself.”

“Save yourself from what?”

“From him,” I swallow nervously. “I can’t be his mate, Valerie. He’s too…confusing.” I frown, the unsettling feeling rushing through my veins as I try to make sense of Flynn’s decision. For a split second, I witnessed his tough outer shell slipping away to reveal a softer side. But just as quickly as it came, it was gone again.

“You know what will happen if you run away, Lila. You’ll be doomed for the rest of your life.”

I pause, taking a moment to reflect on this. I’ve studied all of the pack’s lore when I was trying to uncover my inner wolf, so I know about the curse that befalls any Blood Moon werewolf if they ever break away from their pack and turn rogue.

“It only applies to werewolves who actually have wolves, Val. Think about it,” I offer with a promising smile. “Maybe the curse won’t befall me since I’m not connected to my inner wolf.”

Valerie purses her lips in contemplation. “What will you do, Lila? Where will you go?”

“I haven’t figured it out yet,” I whimper as I draw the chair out to take a seat. “That’s why I asked you for help.”

Valerie reaches across the table and folds my hands in hers, her brows worrying as she stares at me. “If you’re sure about this, Lila, then I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

“Thank you, my friend.” My bottom lip trembles with the emotions piling up in my chest.

Though I’m not entirely sure that I’m making the right decision, what I do know is that I can’t stay in Zafra and make the biggest mistake of my life. It was one thing having to constantly face Flynn in town. It’s another thing becoming his mate and fearing the horrors that may lie ahead when I’m forced to be under the same roof with him.

I’ll take my chances and run away, even if the Grime warns Blood Moon against such a thing. I’ll find my way out there by myself, just like I navigated my way through the treacherous life I’ve experienced in this pack.