Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

DARCY

“ A re you sure?” Cody asks me, his voice low and rough as his eyes search mine, which sends all my blood pooling in my center. I am sickeningly obsessed with those eyes of his. And the way he looks at me—in a way that makes me want to deserve his attention for the rest of my life.It’s so fucking hot. God, I want this. I need this. I need his touch. I need the rest of these clothes to stop keeping us prisoners, separated from one another.

We’re in his room, on top of his neatly made bed. We’re both shirtless and a bit intoxicated. He’s on top of me, my upper half down to my butt on top of the bed while my legs dangle over the side of it. Well, one of them does, anyway. The other is wrapped around his thigh.

His head dives into my neck again before I can even answer, his breath hot on my skin, sending a tingling sensation down my body in a ragged ripple. It’s like he was so desperate to taste my skin again that it was worth making himself wait a little longer for my answer, which I so desperately want to give him. But I also want to keep those lips of his on my neck. Kissing, sucking, nibbling, moving just the tiniest bit south.

Cody and I couldn’t even make it out of the elevator before we lunged at each other, kissing fervently and bumping into everything as we stumbled in a blurry rush to get inside his room. The minute his mouth was on mine, I knew I was doomed.

My fingers go through his hair and I tug gently, almost sorry to put space between his lips and my body. But I have no words in me right now. All I can vocalize are tiny whimpers. I squirm underneath him, desperate to feel the friction on that one little center of my body from the bulge in his pants.

Cody strokes my hair gently, tenderly away from my face, his eyes staying on mine. I love having him close like this. But I want him closer.I want him to ease his way down to unbutton my jeans. I want to feel the heat of his lower half, his naked lower half, against my naked lower half. Simply being shirtless is not enough. Nothing will ever be enough until I have all of him. I’m certain of it.

It’s probably the alcohol talking, but right now, it’s as though I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life. So, wordlessly, I nod.

His hands ease down to the waist of my jeans, slowly, carefully, not in any rush. We have all the time in the world. And I love that he makes it feel that way. I’ve never seen him like this before. Part of me is scared, but part of me is elated. He might be the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, from his luscious hair messed up by desperate fingers, to his eyes lidded with lust, to his lips parted in exertion.

I can’t believe this is happening.

I know it’s wrong. I think maybe that’s what makes it feel so right. My best friend’s brother. How cliché can we be?

I know we have time, but I am excited. Impatient and needy. I pull him closer again and breathe in the thick, seductive scent of him. Finally, I can feel him, the hardness where the crotch of his jeans meets mine. A moan escapes me, as he rocks his hips into me, and I have to fight the urge not to yell out at him to just be inside of me already . But God, do I want it.

“You make me crazy, Darcy,” he grunts out, his tone assuring me just how needy he is, too. For me. Cody wants me . His breathing is rough and deep, his fingers slow and careful. He delicately glides his hands down my back and then slides them into my jeans. All the while, his breath stays inches from my skin. His lips hardly lift away from me when he emits a small string of muttered swear words. Moving slowly like this is torture for him, but I can tell he still wants it this way. He knows it will be worth it.

I swallow thickly as he finally eases my jeans down until they slide the rest of the way to my ankles. Then he kisses his way from my neck, to my lips, down my chin, on my chest, over my breasts—but not my nipples even though I so wish he would—and on my upper belly as he hooks his fingers through my burgundy lace panties. I’m burning for him. Sizzling. As hot as lava. He inches them down ever so slowly, like he’s giving me the chance to back out. But I don’t. And I won’t. I want him as much as I can tell he wants me. An inhuman amount.

He stands back, his washboard abs glistening with sweat, once my panties are gone. “Jesus, Darcy,” he breathes, taking in all of me, fully naked now apart from my black bra—dang it, I should have matched my underwear set when I got dressed this morning—and sprawled on the bed, my legs still draped over the edge of it. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” Of course he doesn’t care if my bra and panties match. What is the matter with me? Why do I suddenly feel sober? Nervous?

He kneels down in front of me, and I close my eyes. When I feel his heavy breaths on my thighs, I relax again. It’s such a turn-on, his being near me causing him to breathe like this. He leans in closer, placing his hands on my thighs and squeezing them tight, and my knees start to shake. I feel weak. It’s like my heart is going to pound right out of my chest.

“Please, Cody,” I whine in anticipation. He kisses my thigh in response. Then he does it again on the opposite thigh. Leisurely, he places gentle kisses that trail closer and closer to my pulsating, hot, begging center.

“I’ve wanted this. You,” he whispers. I don’t know how long I’ve felt the same. All I know is that I want this, too. So much. Right now.

He doesn’t even wait for me to react to the words. It leaves me wondering if he’s even realized he said them out loud.

His head dives into the junction of my thighs. His hands squeeze my hips and drag down the sides of my legs as he pulls me open wider and delves his velvety tongue into my folds, slowly bringing his tongue all the way up to the bud, just for a split second, then slowly back down.

I quiver underneath him and let out unintentional cries. I don’t know how soundproof these rooms are. And I don’t care. I wouldn’t be able to be quieter unless I stuffed a pillow over my face. Or maybe had his dick inside my mouth.

Cody keeps the pace agonizingly slow, squeezing me tightly, emitting low guttural noises as he tastes me. My hands don’t know where to go. They grab his hair. The sheets. They reach for a headboard that is too far back because of how low down we are on the bed. The feeling of his tongue is entirely too tantalizing. I could stay like this all fucking night. Just like this. I’m not ready for the climax. I never want this to be over.

But I can’t help myself. It’s an instinctual reaction, to move my hips and grind against his mouth as I grab his hair and urge him to go just a little bit faster. I want this to last, but it feels so fucking good that I also want more. I want to get there. My body is at war with my brain.

Cody gets the hint and immediately picks up the pace. He wants to move at whatever speed I choose. I didn’t know guys could be so giving. I didn’t think it was in their nature.

“Oh, fuck, Cody!” I cry out, tugging even harder at his hair, with both hands, moving my hips in rhythm with his mouth, his tongue flicking my clit multiple times every time he glides back up to it before gliding back down and hitting my opening, dipping inside.

My body tenses. It’s building. Sizzling, burning, like the rope at the end of a firework, steadily climbing until it reaches its peak…

“Fuck, Cody, don’t stop. I-I’m going to…” I can’t even finish my sentence, because that’s when I explode. Unravel. Seize up. I cry out and gasp and writhe underneath his tongue, and Cody knows just when to pull away, right after it gets just too sensitive to handle.

He gets to his feet, smiling at me from the foot of the bed. I lay there, spent, in awe, feeling like I must be dreaming.

“That was perfect,” he tells me in a low voice with a smolder on his face. “Seriously. You’re perfect.”

Wait. What’s he saying?

I try and catch my breath and work out the way to reply, but then he speaks again.

“We don’t have to do anything else, Darcy. I mean it.”

“No!” I gasp out, propping up on my elbows, my eyes widening almost in horror. For some reason, I can’t bear the thought of this being over right now. I want to taste him too. “Cody…”

I don’t need to say anything else. He climbs back on top of me in an instant, and I bring his mouth to mine and press my lips to his with force. I claw at his back and grip his neck and tangle my hands in his hair. He emits a moan into my mouth, and my hands move down his chest to his pants, finally unbuttoning them. As I do so, he scoops me up with ease and pushes us both further up the bed, resting my head gently on a pillow before he climbs off of me, standing at the foot of the bed again to remove his jeans. I sit up as he does so, wanting to watch him fully, and also wanting to remove my bra the same time his briefs come off.

When Cody’s cock finally springs free, my lips curve into a smile. The sight of him excites me. He’s bigger than anyone I’ve had before. Fuller. He’s…honestly a little intimidating. But it’s not going to stop me from feeling him inside of me. God, I want all of him. So badly, and I don’t even know how that’s possible when I’ve already had an orgasm.

My eyes finally move to his again, and I find him looking drunk at the sight of me. My breasts, exposed and waiting for his touch. Waiting for his mouth.

In seconds, he’s back on the bed, climbing over me, and the first thing I do when his lips cup over my hard nipple is feel him. I take his member in my hands, reminding myself that, yup, he truly is massive, and I stroke along his shaft as his tongue flicks around my nipple. Even though he moans as he sucks on the bud and squeezes his hands all over me, he doesn’t move any quicker. He’s still taking his time, and it is utterly maddening. Especially when I try guiding him lower, edging him inside of me, but he halts just as the tip of his dick is right there, feeling how wet I am for him.

“God, Cody, please,” I utter, quivering underneath him, stroking his cock with everything I’ve got. I’ll persuade him to stop the teasing any way I can.

Hovering his face inches from mine, he gives me an adorable hooded smile. “Y’know—I kind of like it when you beg.” His voice is husky. Thick. I press my hips into him in response, seconds away from pouting at him like a pathetic child.

“Dammit, Cody,” I bite out, clawing his hair and forcing him to kiss me so I can bite hard on his lower lip. He reacts immediately to my assertiveness, and finally, he plunges inside of me, not taking his time any longer. Cody fills me up in one powerful motion that makes me scream and dig my nails into his shoulders. He’s deep. And he fills me up perfectly. “Yes!”

“Holy fuck,” he whispers, kissing me again, but it’s a bit of a collision with our mouths more than it’s a real kiss, because we are both way too focused on how incredible it feels to be joined together like this.

I drunkenly think we must be made for each other. Everything he does makes me want to scream. Cry. Claw his back raw. It’s the way he holds me. The way he looks into my eyes even as he moves from kissing my lips to kissing down my neck. The way he makes me moan. With Milo, sometimes I moaned for him, to make sure he knew I was enjoying myself. To reassure him I was into it. It’s completely different with Cody. With Cody, I can’t fucking help it.

I didn’t know sex could be like this. I didn’t know it could feel so freeing. I don’t have much experience other than Milo. I can’t believe I’ve wasted so much time thinking sex was mainly for a man’s satisfaction. I’ve never been put first. I’ve never been handled with so much care.

I’ve never felt like this.

He slides out of me nearly all the way, and I force him back in with my hips, bringing my pelvis into his, making sure I don’t lose this connection. I need this. I have to have it. Him. Sliding so deeply inside of me, pushing my entire body closer to the headboard with each incredible thrust.

He moves with the perfect speed. Still, he’s not making this about him. His eyes watch me intently as he delves in and out of me. He’s trying to figure me out. He wants to see all and any of my microexpressions. He wants to make sure I’m pleasured. He likes seeing me like this. I don’t know how he does it. How he’s able to hold back from turning into a jackhammer.

I strain to open my eyes and meet his gaze, but it’s hard not to close them and drift completely away to the feeling of him. I clutch him tightly. He clutches me back. We press into each other, over and over and over again. My heart is pounding. My core is building yet again…somehow…

“Do you like that, Darcy?” he asks in that sexy, gravely tone as he thrusts into me, and I moan.

“Yes, Cody.” I dig my nails into his back. “Yes!”

Growling, he slips out of me so suddenly that I cannot even process what’s happening until he’s flipped me over and has me on my hands and knees on the mattress, and he’s mounted behind me, grabbing my hips like his life depends on it. I’m about to get mad again that he’s not inside of me, but then there he is again, the sweet relief I need. I slam a hand to the headboard as he rams into me. “Harder,” I whine out, desperate. As he plunges into me, I reel my ass back into him feverishly. The fullness of him is almost too much, but that’s just how I want it.

He gives me just what I ask for, and he bends his body over my arched back and presses me onto my stomach on the bed, and he bites my earlobe. “Like—this?” he asks between the ramming movements of his hips as his cock hits me and fills me and stretches me in all the right ways.

“Mhmm,” I say, holding back because if I try to form a whole word, I know I’ll just end up screaming loud enough for everyone in the hall to hear. There’s another rising stirring inside of me. It’s hot and fast. I’m going to come undone. It’s like Cody knows it, too, even though I don’t say anything. Suddenly, he’s slamming into me, just the tiniest bit faster, and he hits in just the right spot to have me spiraling, tipped over the edge, in seconds. I don’t hold back as the scream escapes me, and my body convulses under him. He bites my earlobe and groans hastily into the crook of my neck a second later, and I know he’s come, too.

He slides out of me, and I can hardly move as he lays beside me and kisses my shoulder. I’m spent. So fucking spent. Full of bliss. I don’t even feel drunk anymore. Not from alcohol, anyway. I’m merely drunk on Cody.

It’s too surreal to be lying next to him like this, so I let out a giggle. He grins at me, and I can tell he’s reading my thoughts.

“Darcy, Darcy, Darcy,” he says, making a tsking noise and slowly shaking his head at me. “What have we done?”

“I don’t even know,” I admit. “But I do know what I’d like to do now?” I realize it comes out as a question even though I wanted to sound more confident, like he couldn’t possibly tell me no. How can I still be nervous around him after what we just did?

“Oh yeah?” He raises an eyebrow as we both try to catch our breath.

I nod. “What would you say to a shower?”

He strokes some hair from my face and kisses the tip of my nose. “I’d say that sounds fucking perfect.”

“I hope you don’t think I’ve been planning or wanting this to happen,” Cody says softly, his breath tickling my ear as we lay under the still-damp sheets after our long, steamy shower, curled up together. “Don’t get me wrong—I’ve always thought you were beautiful. But I don’t want you to think that I was only in it for just a quick, drunk fuck. I know that’s what it might’ve seemed like, but?—”

“Calm down, Cody.” I smile despite the fact that he can’t see me since my heads on his bare chest, my fingers twirling through his perfect patch of chest hair. “We’re both adults. We consented to this. I know this was just a one-night situation. I’m fine with that. It was… nice. Really nice.”

Cody is quiet for a beat. “Yeah… Yeah, it was. I just want to make sure you feel okay about it. I don’t want you to think this is the kind of thing where I’m gonna leave before you’ve even caught your breath. If that’s okay with you.”

There’s something about the tone of his voice that makes me pause. I swallow thickly. “It’s more than okay,” I say, looking up at him under my lashes. “I want you here.”

He kisses my forehead. “Good. I want to be here.”

His hand finds mine, and I squeeze it tightly. “Are you sure? You seem a bit… tense.” I wonder if he’s already regretting it, if he’s looking into the future, preparing for an awkward rest of the trip.

“I just don’t want you to think I took advantage of you. You were a little drunk. And so was I. But still…”

“I wanted this, Cody. I consented, and I remember everything clearly. Will you relax?” I smile at him playfully, but he doesn’t smile back. So, I sit up, bringing the sheets up with me.

“I’m sorry,” he says. Most people wouldn’t be able to distinguish the true anguish from the guilt in his voice, but this is Cody, and I’m me. I know Cody, no matter how much I’ve spent half my life pretending I don’t. I know him, maybe better than anyone. And I know he’s in pain. But what I don’t know is how to fix it.

“You know you aren’t the only one who did this, right?” I sound weak. I normally hate sounding weak, but right now, it seems fitting. “I came onto you. I made the choice to do what we just did, same as you. You didn’t force me into it. You didn’t get me drunk and lure me upstairs. I’m here because I want to be. I don’t know what it means right now, but honestly, Cody, that’s a problem for tomorrow. For tonight, can’t we just be here? Together? That’s all I want. To stay with you.”

He’s quiet, unnaturally quiet. The kind of quiet that makes me paranoid about how loud I’m breathing. The guilt radiates off of him still, and it seems like no matter what I say, I can’t ease it.

“Okay,” he finally whispers. “I’ll stay. I’m not going anywhere, Darcy.”

I’m not sure I believe it.