Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

CODY

D arcy doesn’t come along to my lessons the next morning, and I’m oddly disappointed. I just like her being around. She’s the kind of person who will tell you exactly like it is—no bullshit. There’s so much bullshit in my life already. I don’t know, I guess it’s refreshing to have something real.

I spend the whole day thinking about her, my mind plagued with worry over where she might be or if she’s angry with me. I just want things to be okay. I want to be beside her, laughing and playfully bickering. It’s the only thing that’s felt right in months. Since Claudia died. It’s strange that I’ve only had a few short conversations with Darcy, but she’s managed to make me feel whole again. That must mean something. I’m sure of it.

I know it’s unhealthy to associate the kind of happiness Claudia brought me with Darcy. That’s not fair to her. Darcy isn’t a replacement or something to fill the void. She’s a woman. A woman who just so happens to have a sweet smile and an intoxicating laugh. A woman whose presence I crave. I know she and I have our undeniable issues, but at the end of the day, there’s a connection there. One that’s rare. I should know. I’ve only ever felt it once before in my life.

It’s the kind of connection that makes me want to protect her. It makes me think about her every waking second, wondering what she’s thinking or if she’s okay.

And after yesterday, that feeling has only intensified. The realization that she’s being harassed by her ex was a wake-up call. Instead of fighting against Darcy, I think maybe I should start fighting beside her.

It’s only natural that she’s the first one I go looking for when I get back to the resort in the early afternoon.

She answers my incessant knocking on her door after a couple of minutes, and I immediately notice how tired she looks. There are dark circles beneath her bloodshot eyes.

“Are you okay?” I ask, and my heart swells when she smiles at the question.

She steps aside for me to enter and responds as I walk past her into the hallway. “I’m fine. It’s just… Milo has been calling me all night.” She closes the door behind us and leads me to the couch. We sit, and I hear her sigh. “I’ve tried everything to get him to stop. I yelled at him, I begged him, I even tried to bribe him. I’ve blocked every number he calls from, but he just calls from a new one. I don’t even know how he’s doing it.” Her eyes meet mine, and as exhausted as she seems, I can’t help but notice that she almost looks happy to see me. “I’m sorry I didn’t meet up with you this morning. I would’ve, but I didn’t think I’d be very good company today.”

I shake my head. I can’t believe she’s apologizing to me. Her heart is too kind. I can’t even fathom that she’s real sometimes.

“No, don’t apologize, Darcy. I was just worried that something happened. And apparently I was right to be.” I frown at her and move just a bit closer, as close as I can get away with for the moment. I want to reach out and touch her arm, but I don’t. I know she wouldn’t like it, and the thought of doing anything to upset her right now makes me sick. “There has to be a way to stop this. Have you tried calling the police?”

Darcy shrugs as if we’re talking about the weather. She’s completely too casual about having a stalker—one who might just be crazy, at that. What kind of man harasses a woman like that? How could he make Darcy so uncomfortable and not feel any guilt about it? I’m anxious about it, and I’m not even the one being harassed. I can’t imagine how she must feel.

“He’s not doing anything illegal,” she says. “I could get a restraining order, but I somehow doubt he’d honor it. He’s got nothing left to lose. I was all he had—so he says.”

How pathetic. To have someone like Darcy—who’s devoted and loving—and then betray her trust and think he has the right to harass her after everything he’s put her through? If it were Maya, I would have addressed this issue long ago. But Darcy won’t allow me to intervene. So, reluctantly, I’m left to offer emotional support instead of taking physical action.

“He can’t bother you forever. He’ll give up eventually,” I assure her, though I’m not quite sure that’s true. A man who wants something is a man who won’t stop until he gets it. And it worries me the lengths he’ll go to to get her. If he hurts her… Well, he wouldn’t even come close to getting away with it. I’d make sure of that. He would pay, immensely. “But my offer stands, Darcy. If you want me to take care of it, just say the word.”

She smiles, and it’s beautiful. She looks like a mess—like she hasn’t slept at all, with dark circles under her drooping eyes and skin a shade paler than usual—but she’s still undeniably a gorgeous mess. Her red hair is tied up, frizzing out around her face. Her glasses perch on the end of her nose and I have to fight the urge to adjust them for her. Even her old band T-shirt seems wrinkled, but it hangs off of her shoulder just right. Even when she’s not trying, everything about her is painfully perfect.

“Thank you, but I’ll be okay,” she says. Our eyes linger on one another for a moment too long to explain. The tension is palpable. I know it has to be stopped. This can’t happen. I can’t look at her like this. She isn’t mine to protect. She isn’t mine to want. She isn’t mine.

“Want to go get a drink?” I ask in lieu of any other decent ideas. “I’m buying.”

Darcy’s smile grows into a grin. “Isn’t this how we got into trouble the other night?”

I shrug. “Well, last time I didn’t have you there to keep me from doing something stupid. This time, I do. What do you say?”

Darcy considers for a moment, and I have a brief worry that she may say no, but she finally nods.

“Alright. What’s the worst that could happen?”

That almost feels like a taunt because we both know that the worst that could happen would be very, very bad given our track record, but I don’t say anything.

I move to the hallway while she gets dressed, and then the two of us leisurely wander down to the lobby bar, chatting idly and catching up on events that life has thrown at us since we were last close.

It’s still too early for the bar to be very busy, so we take our pick of the empty seats, finding a couple toward the end of the bar. I let Darcy order our drinks but come to slightly regret that decision when the largest margarita I’ve ever seen is sitting in front of me.

“You must be crazy,” I declare, getting a laugh out of her.

“Oh, come on! What happened to the macho, tough guy act?”

I look at her out of the corner of my eye and just barely keep an expression of disgust off of my face.

“He doesn’t want to get alcohol poisoning before eight p.m.”

“Well, he can just get over it,” Darcy says, taking a sip of her drink. “And besides, you said you’re buying. I had no choice but to get the big size. It’s just economical.”

“Oh, is that right?” I grimace. “So, not only will I be hurting, but my bank account will be hurting, too.”

Darcy grins. “That’s the plan.”

A group of guests enters the bar, noses and ears still red from the bitter cold outside. They shed their coats and scarves and scatter around the room. A pair of young women get a bit too close for comfort, settling down a couple of seats away from Darcy and me. They loudly chat with one another, and I pointedly ignore them and do my best to keep my attention on Darcy.

“So, how long’s it been since you split with Milo?” I ask. “It was before the New Year, wasn’t it?”

Darcy hums. “Yeah, the weekend after Halloween. So…” Her brow furrows as she thinks. “It’s been just about five months.” Her eyes meet mine. “How long’s it been for you?”

I suddenly feel sick. I suppose the question is fair game. I asked first, after all. But Claudia’s face is flashing in my brain, and I think I might throw up.

“It’ll be a year in May,” I say after swallowing thickly. I take a sip of my drink and find comfort in the sting of it going down my throat.

Darcy seems to notice because her features soften and she frowns.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to?—”

“It’s fine,” I say. Because it is. It’s fine. It doesn’t feel fine, but Darcy doesn’t have to know that. As far as she’s concerned, everything is perfectly fucking fine.

“No, it’s?—”

“Excuse me.” One of the girls sitting next to us interrupts, moving as close as she can get without actually touching my shoulder, and flashes a smile at me. She doesn’t even spare Darcy a polite glance. It’s like she’s invisible. And I don’t have to look at Darcy to know it’s pissing her off.

“Yeah?” I enquire without bothering to mask the annoyance in my voice. The girl clearly pregamed, and if I had to guess, she and her friends have been drinking all day. Which is frustrating enough because the worst kinds of skiing accidents happen when a bunch of drunk college kids decide to take some risks.

“My friend over there,” she says as she points sloppily to the blushing brunette behind her, “Emma. She thinks you’re cute.”

I raise an eyebrow at Emma, who turns an alarming shade of red and looks away. She looks like she’s barely eighteen, with big doe eyes and round cheeks. She looks sweet, but I have a rule that I like to stick to, which is that I don’t mess around with girls younger than my sister, because if someone any older than me messed around with Maya, I’d want to send him to an early grave.

I look at Emma’s blonde advocate. “Tell your friend I’m flattered, but I’m here with someone.” I glance over at Darcy, her eyes hardened and jaw clenched, just in time to see her pale skin go bright pink where her cheeks and her nose intercept. Her eyes meet mine, and I see something like confused amazement in them.

The brief moment of wonder only lasts for a moment before it’s completely shattered by the brunette girl, suddenly rather upset, standing up and staring right at Darcy.

“Her? You’re here with her ? But she’s?—”

Darcy stands up and stares right back at the girl. “You’d better be careful what you say next.”

I’m not sure who to look at. I almost feel as though I should be prepared to step between them when fists start flying.

I’m flattered. Who would’ve thought? Darcy fighting over me ? Not in a million years did I ever picture a scene like this before me. The other way around maybe.

Huh. She really has changed.

I don’t have long to ponder over that thought, because Darcy is closing in on Emma, and I really don’t want to have to explain this to my boss. I send Emma and her friend away and usher Darcy to a table in the back.

She’s seething, cheeks red and eyes permanently narrowed.

“Wanna talk about it?” I ask, and I know that my amusement is only making her angrier, but I just can’t help it. Darcy—little redheaded Darcy—being angry is like watching a kitten bite. It’s adorable.

“No,” she replies bluntly, folding her arms across her chest.

“You sure?” I smile. “Cause it’s seeming like you’re just a little bit jealous.”

“No!” she says again and anger flashes in her eyes, which promptly fades to denial, then confusion, then acceptance. “She’s, like, twelve. She shouldn't think she's entitled to anything she wants—especially you," Darcy says, her voice tight with barely contained emotion.

"Especially me?" I repeat, raising an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

Her eyes lock on mine, and I struggle to read them. She almost looks sad, but there's something else there—a hint of long-buried hurt.

"Nothing," she says quickly, then sighs. "It's just... seeing her approach you like that, it brought back memories."

I lean in, curiosity piqued. "What kind of memories?"

Darcy hesitates, then seems to make a decision. "Do you ever think about what would've happened if we hadn't had that falling out as kids?"

The question catches me off guard. "Yeah, I do," I admit. "Especially lately. Why?"

Darcy nods. “Yeah. Me too.” Her teeth tug at her bottom lip and I can see the cogs turning in her brain. She’s silent and I don’t dare speak while she’s putting the words together. “You know when we were still friends, everyone always thought we’d end up together. Your parents thought we’d get married. Mine always talked about you taking me to prom.”

I remember so clearly that it’s painful. It’s like mourning a life you never got to have. “Yeah. You were my first kiss. My first best friend.”

"It's just..." Darcy trails off, then squares her shoulders. "You know, I've been holding onto this anger for so long. But being here with you, it's bringing everything back up."

I feel a knot form in my stomach. "What do you mean, anger?"

“It's fine," she rushes, plastering on a fake smile, but I can hear the hurt beneath her words. "It's ancient history, right?"

I know I should let it go, but something makes me press on. "It sounds like it still bothers you."

Darcy lets out a bitter laugh. "Bothers me? Cody, you were my best friend, and then suddenly you weren't. Do you have any idea how that felt?"

I lean back, shocked by the vehemence in her words. "Whoa, where is this coming from? That's not true at all."

"Isn't it?" Darcy challenges, leaning forward. "Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like you just decided one day that you were too good for me."

"I didn't mean to hurt you," I say, feeling defensive. "Things were complicated back then."

"Complicated?" Darcy's voice rises slightly. "What was so complicated about ghosting your friend?"

I look away, unable to look her in the eyes.

Every fiber in my being is telling me to walk away, to get up and leave before this conversation can go any further. "Look, I’m not going into this right now. Just when I thought you might actually be a reasonable human being, you’ve proven me wrong.”

"Of course," Darcy says bitterly. "Run away. That's what you're good at, isn't it?"

Her words stop me in my tracks. I turn back, anger and old pain bubbling to the surface. "You want to do this now? Fine. Let's do it. What exactly am I running from, Darcy?"

"Everything!" she shouts, gesturing wildly. "Come on, Cody. You can't tell me you've forgotten how things ended between us."

The accusation in her tone stings, and I feel my own frustration building. "That's not fair, Darcy. You never understood?—"

"Understood what? That you were an arrogant jerk who liked humiliating people? Oh, I understood that perfectly well after the talent show fiasco!"

I feel my control slipping. "You don't know anything about that night!"

"I know enough," Darcy spits. "You ruined something I'd worked hard for, just because you could."

"That's not—" I stop, running a hand through my hair. The truth I've buried for so long threatens to spill out. "You want to know the truth? Fine. That night wasn't about you. It was about me being embarrassed.”

Darcy's anger falters, confusion taking its place. "What are you talking about?"

I take a deep breath, forcing myself to meet her eyes. "I was supposed to perform too. I'd signed up weeks in advance to sing a song I'd written." I swallow hard. "A song about you."

Her eyes widen, but I press on before I lose my nerve. "But as the day got closer, I panicked. I was terrified you'd figure it out, that everyone would realize I had feelings for my little sister's best friend. So I did the only thing I could think of – I created a distraction."

"The concert in the gym," Darcy says softly, realization dawning on her face.

I nod, shame washing over me. "I never meant to hurt you, Darcy. I was just... scared. Scared of my feelings, scared of rejection. So I pushed you away instead."

A heavy silence falls between us. Darcy's expression is unreadable as she processes this information.

Finally, she speaks, her voice barely above a whisper. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

I sigh, suddenly feeling exhausted. "Because I was a coward. It was easier to be the jerk you thought I was than to admit the truth." I look at her, years of regret evident in my voice. "I'm so sorry, Darcy. I know it doesn't change anything, but I need you to know that I never thought I was too good for you. If anything, I thought I wasn't good enough."

A heavy silence falls between us. I can almost see the wheels turning in Darcy's head as she processes everything I've just told her. Around us, the soft murmur of other patrons' conversations seem oddly distant.

Finally, she speaks, her voice barely above a whisper. "We were just kids," she says softly, shaking her head. "God, we were so young and stupid."

I nod, feeling a mix of relief and lingering regret. "Yeah, we were. Kids who didn't know how to handle big feelings."

"Or how to communicate," Darcy adds with a wry smile.

"Definitely not that," I agree, chuckling despite myself.

Darcy's expression turns serious. She takes a deep breath, as if steeling herself. "You know, I've been holding onto this anger for so long. But hearing this... it changes things."

"I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you," I say. "I should have been honest years ago."

She shrugs. "Maybe. But I probably wouldn't have been ready to hear it then." She pauses, seeming to consider something. "You know, maybe it's time we both let go of the past."

I feel a glimmer of hope. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Darcy says, taking a deep breath, "maybe we can start over. Clean slate. No more dwelling on who we were as teenagers or what we did or didn't do."

"I'd like that," I say, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. I extend my hand, only half-joking. "Hi, I'm Cody Banks. Nice to meet you."

Darcy laughs, the sound warming something inside me. She takes my hand, shaking it firmly. "Darcy Gray. Pleasure's all mine."

As our hands linger after our "reintroduction", I feel the possibility of something new beginning. But there's still a question in Darcy's eyes, something unspoken.

"Cody," she starts, her voice uncertain. "There's something else I need to say..."

Darcy screws her eyes shut, face twisted up in discomfort. “This is gonna suck to say, but it’s gonna kill me if I don’t say it, so I’m just gonna do it before I change my mind.” Her eyes open and lock in on me, filled with intensity. “I don’t know how I feel about you, but I know that the thought of you sleeping with that girl made me completely sick. When I’m not with you, I’m thinking about you, and it makes me angry that I’m becoming so attached because I’m leaving soon, and we’ll probably never talk again. But I’m here now. And you’re here. And it’s just us. So what I’m saying is?—”

I watch her, hope and anticipation building inside me. Our eyes lock, and for a moment, the rest of the bar fades away. It's just us. She bites her lip and my willpower crumbles.

"Wanna go upstairs?" The words slip from my mouth. I watch her, hopeful and eager for a response. Darcy hesitates for a split second, her eyes searching mine. Then gives me a desperate nod. She stands up and grabs my arm, pulling me up with her.

“Let’s go upstairs.”