Chapter 47Goldie

Chapter 47

Goldie

I checked into the Wilderness Haven Retreat and Lodge, but only because I was too upset when I left the mountain to drive far. I was also too upset to remember that my gas tank was almost dead empty and I couldn't go any farther if I wanted to.

I'm supposed to be at the spa, relaxing, trying to forget about everything that's happened. But all I feel is this ache. A bone-deep misery that no amount of steam rooms, facials, or massages could rub away. I actually burst into tears when offered a mud mask. Mud is going to forever remind me of Luke.

I lie on the plush, pristine bed with the bajillion thread count sheets that smell like eucalyptus and lavender. I miss the mountain air, the scent of MAN. The sheets are silky smooth, too perfect, too clean, too curated. I miss the feeling of being wrapped up in something real, somewhere lived in.

God, I feel so lost.

I roll over and grab my phone. Before I can talk myself out of it, I dial Winnie. She picks up on the first ring, her voice instantly familiar and soothing.

"Golds! Girl, where the hell have you been? I've been worried sick! I was afraid I was going to have to come rescue you! Then I realized I don't even know exactly where you are."

I manage a weak laugh. "Sorry, Win. There was no reception up on the mountain."

Which reminds me, I need to call Mother. I'm surprised I don't have a thousand calls and texts from her. She probably already has me on some missing person's list.

"Tell me everything," Winnie says. "What's happened with the documentary? How was camping? Did you find the Bigfoot of your dreams?"

"No." I sigh, staring up at the ceiling, willing the tears not to fall again. "I'm giving up on that. I'm at this place called the Wilderness Haven Retreat and Lodge."

Winnie goes quiet for a moment. "Okay, something's up. Spill your guts, Golds."

And so I do. I tell her everything—about the brothers, about the cabin, the sex and the friendship that turned into way more, about the cameras. About how I messed up, how Luke wanted me gone from the start, and how, in the end, they all sided with him. How they made me leave. I tell her about the heartbreak, about how I lost them.

"Wait, wait," Winnie interrupts, her voice incredulous. "You're telling me you fell for not one, but ten mountain men? You're kidding me, right? Making this whole thing up to see if I'm gullible enough to fall for it?"

I heave a sigh. "I wish I was."

I can practically hear her brain working, trying to make sense of it. She knows me too well. The old me would have laughed at the idea of being in love with multiple men at once. Well, except in her case. Because she and the Hammer brothers are the real deal. But everything is different now.

"Goldie…that doesn't sound like you," Winnie says, disbelief lacing her tone. "What happened to ‘it's impossible to fall in love fast' and ‘you can't love more than one person'? Those were your words, not mine."

"I know, I know. But…something about them, about being with them, it felt like…home. Like something I'd been looking for my whole life, and I didn't even realize it until now."

Winnie is quiet for a long moment. "So…you're in love with them? All of them? Like, in love love?"

"Yeah. I am."

"Then why aren't you with them? Why are you paying to be miserable at some frickin' overpriced spa? I just Googled."

"Weren't you listening? I'm not with them because they made me leave."

There's a heavy pause on the other end of the line.

"Goldie…" Winnie's voice softens. "It sounds like you're going through a lot of changes. Like…changes that are blowing my mind, so they have to be blowing yours. But the Goldie Locke I know and love doesn't let anyone make her do anything. That better not have changed. You march back up that mountain and go get your lumberjacks!"

"I can't, Win. I can't go back. Not after all the damage I've caused."

"You didn't mean to hurt them, Golds."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions," I say, which is so bloody basic, but I can't even think of a decent quote.

"I don't give a hot damn about the road to hell. I care about the winding path up that mountain to a certain cabin door. Which your ass needs to be climbing up right about now."

I sigh. There's no going back. But I can't stay at the Wilderness Haven Retreat any longer. I need to get back to the city. Figure out what's next, because moping forever isn't an option.

I call my roadside assistance service and get them to bring me some gas. Then, once that's sorted and I'm filled up and good to go, I pack up my things and check out, ready to head to my apartment that is not a home.

I see the sign for the Piney Grove Trading Post and General Store. Luke said this is the only place the brothers sell their work. Impulsively, I pull into the lot, the need to buy something to remember my mountain men by too strong to resist.

The bell above the door jingles as I step inside. I go straight to the carved bear that got my attention the first time I was here.

"Looking for something specific?"

It's the same woman who was here before behind the counter, tiny with sharp eyes.

I hold up the bear. "Can you tell me who made this?"

"Local artist."

"Does the local artist have a name?"

"You look like someone who's lost something," she says, her voice low and skeptical.

Again with the psychic stuff.

I try to shrug it off. "I guess you could say that."

She steps out from behind the counter, coming closer, her gaze never wavering. "You're Goldie, aren't you?"

Holy shitballs, maybe she is psychic. The bear slips from my fingers and I almost drop it. Gripping it tighter, I freeze. How could she know? Does she know?

After all, she did tell me I would get eaten on the mountain and I flush remembering Lynx's head buried between my thighs. She wasn't wrong about that.

"You're the one that's been up on the mountain with my boys."

"Your…"

"My sons."

"Your…"

I have lost all ability to word.

"Luther made the bear."

Luther. Luke. Of course.

"I didn't mean to…I didn't want to cause any trouble. I didn't want to hurt them," I whisper, my throat tight.

The woman sighs, the sharpness in her gaze softening. "Look, Goldie, I don't know what happened up there, and frankly, I don't care to know all the details. But my boys are hurting without you. Especially Luther."

I shake my head, because that's not possible. Luther made me promise to never come back.

"I'd like to buy the bear," I say. "Please."

She rings me up and wraps it up.

"Thank you for your business. Come again soon," she says, even though I think we both know I won't be coming back, ever.

I'm barely back on the road when the opening notes of that old Hall & Oates song, "Maneater," fill the car. Mother's ringtone. My phone's paired to the convertible's audio system. I accept the call.

"Hi, Mother. I'm sorry I didn't call you back, I haven't—"

"Oh, darling. Don't you worry about it! I know you've been busy with your documentary. And I've been busy too. I decided, no, I am not letting Clive go. So, honey, forget what I said. This marriage is far from over."

I blink.

"Mother, you know it's illegal to kidnap people and lock them in the basement, right?"

Her laugh tinkles through the speakers.

"Darling, I didn't kidnap him. It would've been so easy to let him go and just move on to the next, but instead, I did the hard thing. I decided to fight for love. And, it appears, I won. Say hi to Rose-Gold, Clive."

"Hi, Goldie." Clive sounds so happy.

I slam on the brakes and pull a U-turn. If my mother of all people can fight for love and win…well, that means anyone can.

Including me.