Chapter 46Hunter

Chapter 46

Hunter

T he cabin's crowded as ever tonight, but damn, it feels empty. As we put the beds back in their original places, it's like everything is supposed to go back to normal. Like we're supposed to just forget Goldie was ever here. But I can't forget, and I know the others can't either.

It's like we're in mourning, not like after Pa died, but a little like when Ma couldn't take being here anymore shortly after Luke came back from the big cave. With him here to care for us, she got a tiny cottage down in the village. She hasn't come back up here since. Her chair at the table had been empty since, until Goldie stumbled into our lives. And now, with Goldie gone, that damn chair is empty again.

Maybe we should move it up to the attic, where Pa's chair is, in Luke's room. We moved it up there because while Ma was still living here, it hurt her too much to see it without him sitting in it.

Goldie managed to change everything in just a few days. Now, it's just…back to the same old, same old. Except it's not. There's this Goldie-shaped hole in the center of all of us. I suspect even in Luke, though he'll never admit it. He's locked himself up in the attic, refusing to come down for supper, which he told us to make our fucking selves.

I really don't get it. He didn't want her here in the first place. Why the hell does he seem the most messed up about her leaving?

I finish my food in silence, but the taste is off. Maybe it's just because the rest of us are shit cooks, but everything feels bland now. When dinner's over, I take my time cleaning up, keeping my hands busy because it keeps my mind from wandering to all the ways I wish things could be different.

No one even gathers in the living room to read after dinner. Everyone heads to bed, leaving me alone in the kitchen until I can't stand the stillness for another second.

I head out to the workshop and grab a few of the sculptures I've been working on. Owls. Might as well take them down to the ol' Piney Grove Trading Post and General Store, drop 'em off for Ma to sell. Ma always knows how to talk sense into us. Maybe she'll have some advice for dealing with Luke. Though I can't imagine she'll be happy with us for getting tangled up with a city girl.

The walk down the mountain is quiet, the kind of quiet that would normally feel peaceful, but tonight it just makes everything feel more empty. When I get to the shop, Ma's at the counter, going over inventory like she does every night. She looks up when the bell rings, raising an eyebrow when she sees me.

"Hunter," she says, a flicker of curiosity in her gaze. "What brings you down here at this hour? Everything alright up on the mountain?"

I set the sculptures on the counter. "Thought I'd drop these off. Just finished 'em up."

She nods.

"You've outdone yourself. These'll sell in no time. Owls are popular."

"With whoooo?" I joke, but it's half-heartedly. And my jokes suck, anyway. I'm no Clay.

Her proud smile fades as she studies me for a moment, her eyes sharper now. Those eyes see everything, I swear they do. "I get the feeling you didn't just come down on business. What's going on?"

I sigh, rubbing the back of my neck.

"It's Luke," I admit. "He's locked himself in the attic. Won't come out, won't talk to anybody. She's gone and he's…he's the saddest of us all, Ma. And I don't get it. He didn't want her there in the first place, so why's he acting like this?"

Ma narrows her eyes slightly, confusion mixing with concern. "Her? Who are you talking about, Hunter? Why are you all sad?"

I hesitate. Of course she doesn't know. Goldie was only a part of our lives for a few days. But it seems like she's been with us forever, so I was just blabbing away, taking for granted that Ma would know all about her.

But how do I explain everything?

"Goldie," I say. "This woman who came up the mountain. Wound up staying with us for a bit."

Ma's eyebrows shoot up. "She what? She stayed with you boys? For how long?"

"A few days," I answer. "It just kind of…happened."

"What else just kind of happened?"

"Ma."

Her lips press into a thin line, and I can tell she's holding back a whole slew of questions. "You talk. I'll listen."

The words spill out. "Luke didn't want her there. He fought it from the start. But the rest of us, well…we liked having her around. Hell, I liked having her around more than I should've. She got under all our skin in one way or another. But now she's gone, and Luke's the one who's taking it the hardest. He won't come out of the attic, won't talk to anybody. I don't get it, Ma. He couldn't stand her."

I don't get into the nitty-gritty. How she betrayed us. How we made her leave. It's still too raw.

Ma crosses her arms, leaning on the counter as she studies me. "Come on, my boy. You're smarter than that. Luke's got a lot of walls up, has for a long time. He didn't want to get close to her because he didn't want to get hurt. But now that she's gone, he's realizing he might've missed out on something. And regret is a hard pill to swallow."

Ma tilts her head, her gaze soft but firm. "Is this woman the reason you cut your hair and trimmed your beard?"

I grin, despite everything. "And here I thought you didn't notice."

"Why did she leave?"

"It's a long story," I say. "And it's late."

"But between the coming and the going, she did a number on you all, didn't she?" Ma shakes her head. "Give him time, Hunter. Let him come to terms with it in his own way. But make sure he knows he's not alone. He might act like he doesn't need any of you, but he does. You've got to let him know you're there for him when he's ready."

I nod, though it feels like a tall order.

"Thanks, Ma," I say, turning to leave.

She calls after me. "Hunter?" I glance back. "You fell in love with that girl, didn't you?"

I nod, the lump in my throat making it hard to speak. "Yeah. I did. We all did."

Ma gives me a sad smile, one that tugs at something deep inside me. "You'll figure it out. Just don't let your heart harden like Luke's. Once you get those walls up, well…they're hard to tear down."

I know Ma is right. And I know that Goldie could've been the one to tear those walls of Luke's down, if only we hadn't run her off.

But she's gone now and she's not coming back and there's nothing I can do but get over it, which seems like a hell of an impossible task, but I guess I need to give myself time too.