Chapter 21Goldie

Chapter 21

Goldie

I spin around.

Leaning against a tree behind me is Brooks, holding the bouquet of flowers he gave me last night, still in its water glass, and wearing a look of immense relief.

"I was getting worried that you'd skipped the campsite and gone straight to your car and hauled tail out of here!"

"Brooks. I didn't want anyone to follow me."

"I thought I might never see you again."

"Which would be for the best," I say. "For you. You need to go back. I can't—"

"Look, please hear me out. Please don't turn me away. I can't believe someone like you is right here on our mountain. Has been right there in our cabin, eating at our table. Bathing in our tub." He looks bashful as he says this. "Sleeping in my room. You're amazing and I hate the idea of you just running off like this, camping all by yourself out here in the dark and cold. Gold. Please."

"I'm not going back," I say. "I can't do this. I can't do messy. And messy is exactly what me being in your cabin is. One big disastrous mess. For me, for you all. Just a mess. A mess I created."

I realize as I say it how true it is. When I stumbled upon them initially, in the water, they were joyous and boisterous and harmonious. Childlike. When I stumbled upon them at the dining table this morning, there was a tension I only register now. A friction and unease, a low-lying agitation that was oh-so-familiar to me, but who knows if they'd ever experienced it before. I'd felt it at the beginning of the end of each of Mother's marriages.

One night is all it took for me to bring that to their happy cabin. I'm driving a wedge between them, destroying the very stability and cohesion that made me feel so safe and secure with them in the first place.

Brooks is silent for a minute, but he never takes his eyes from mine.

"I don't want you to leave," he says finally.

"You don't even know me," I say. "I'm not worth the trouble."

He takes a couple steps toward me.

"I know how you make me feel," he says, and there must be a question in my eyes, because he answers it. "You make me feel alive, Gold. You make our entire cabin feel alive."

I swallow down a lump in my throat. That's how they've made me feel too.

"Please come back with me," he says.

I shake my head slowly. I can't. I won't run someone from their own home.

"Well then, if you won't come back to the cabin with me, can I come in your tent with you for a little while?"

I want to tell him no, but he has that sexy DJ voice, and the green of his eyes is hypnotizing. And the silver streaks in his freshly trimmed beard glitter at me, blinding my common sense or something, because instead of saying anything at all, I let him inside, pushing aside the voice of my conscience, which hisses that I'm still being selfish.

Once inside, Brooks has to go onto his knees so his head doesn't push against the top of the tent. He looks around, sizing the place up, which doesn't take long because he fills up nearly half the space. When he turns to look back at me, the space between us disappears and he's practically mouth level with my bare nipples.

My bare nipples!

Shit! I forgot to hold the flannel shirt closed.

He notices, licking his lips and then swallowing hard, and I pull the flannel closed. "I wish you'd let me take you back to the cabin, but if you won't do that, can I come with you back to Los Angeles?"

Wait…what?!

That's the last thing I expect him to say, and my mouth drops open. "To LA?"

"If you don't want to be with any of us, I won't push anything on you that makes you unhappy, Gold, honest. But in the short while you've been in my life…well. I'm not ready to say goodbye to my new friend Rose-Gold Locke just yet." He smiles and takes one of my hands, and I realize my heart is giving up all resistance. "And well…thing is, I've never taken a chance to follow my dreams. And even though I never wanted to be a star, or on TV and all that, I do want to play my music for whoever wants to listen. Thought with you by my side, I might find the courage I need to try."

God, how are those words making me wet?

Or maybe it's those damn eyes hypnotizing me again. He's staring up at me, looking so hopeful I just want to kiss him right on the mouth.

"You would leave the mountain? You would leave your brothers?" I ask instead.

"I've always been afraid to," he admits. "But you make me want to not be scared. We don't have to be a couple or anything. If I come with you. I have some money saved up, so I could pay my own way."

His thumb strokes the top of my hand and I let out a little whimper. Something about this burly man, the textbook definition of masculinity, admitting he's scared is the world's biggest turn-on.

Stop thinking about sex!

"God, you're so soft," he mutters under his breath, as if to himself. "Is the rest of your skin as soft as it is on your hand?"

I let out a deep breath, one that makes my whole body shudder hard enough that my hand slips where I'm holding the shirt closed. My breasts, exposed again, bob in front of his face, and they seem to end up hypnotizing him as much as his eyes and sexy voice hypnotize me.

I don't mean to place the hand he isn't already holding on his head, or run it through his hair.

But I do. God, his hair is so silky. And those damn freckles.

And then…his mouth is on me, lips gently brushing across the quivering swell of my breast. My underwear is fully damp now, and my breaths are starting to come faster and faster. My nipples tighten and he flicks one with his tongue, his eyes locking with mine again.

We moan together, synchronized sounds of something waiting to be unleashed. The sound would probably give me the giggles in an ordinary situation, but he seems to be suddenly overcome with lust, and there is nothing funny about the way he sucks my nipple into his mouth. Or the way he takes me in his arms, sweeping me off my feet like I weigh nothing, and places me stretched out on the sleeping bag before him.

He fits himself between my spread legs, and before I can even bother feeling embarrassed that he can probably see my desire for him through my undies, he pulls them aside and dips a finger inside my folds. We moan again.

"How wet you are," he says in a worshipful tone. "Beautiful."

"Brooks," I say, and my voice comes out as a gasp. "Please."

How am I already begging? And am I begging him to stop, or not to?

His gaze slides from between my legs, up my body, dancing across my breasts and landing on my face.

"What do you want, snapdragon? Let me know so I can give it to you. Do you want me, honey? Do you want me as bad as I want you?"

As he's saying it, he's teasing me with the tip of his finger. Unbidden, I lift my ass off the ground, a silent yes, and his finger slips inside my pussy. He grips my hip and pushes deeper, shifting his position so he's leaning over me, his mouth closer to my breasts. That finger begins pumping in and out, tortuously slow and gentle.

"I want…" I tug at his shirt, trying to free him from it, but mostly just writhing around as he finger-fucks me. "Oh, God, Brooks. That feels so good."

I need to tell him. I'm a virgin. I was planning to do this with Buck, to lose our virginities together.

And I need to tell Brooks the truth about why I'm on the mountain. I have to. Before we have sex, I have to. I have to tell him this is a one-time thing that's not going to change anything. Afterward, I still have to go.

Then it knocks me speechless, the very real knowledge, the irrefutable fact—I am going to have sex with Brooks. Right here. In this tent. The first time I've been waiting for too damn long is here.

In one swift motion, he strips his shirt off with the hand that isn't inside me, but it's not enough. I want Brooks naked.

I want him to fuck me. I need a condom.

"Damn, Gold, you're so fucking gorgeous. I didn't even know God could make a woman like you. I need to see every inch of you," he says, as if reading my mind. "Can I take these off?"

He tugs my panties off when I hiss out a yes.

And then I reach for his waistband.

"Gold," Brooks says, his voice thick with desire. "How far do you want to go with me right now? Because I want all of you, and I…" He lets out an embarrassed chuckle and I notice there's a foil square in his hand. "I have some of these, just in case you do want to be with me like that. But…I don't want to do anything you don't want—"

"I want all of you too," I blurt, my horny body speaking for me before my brain can catch up.

But it's true, I do. I want all of him. I've denied myself mind-blowing sex for far too long. What even is perfect, anyway?

I need to tell him, though…I need to…

My thoughts are swept away and I surrender to the moment when his cock springs free of his boxers. My mouth waters as I gaze up at him.

"Damn, Brooks Bj?rnsson. You're fucking gorgeous."

I'm not stunned by the sheer size of him, even though he's as long and thick as my forearm. Maybe it's because his brothers' cocks have already desensitized my brain to what's normal. Or maybe my body is just so damn ready to be filled by him that all I can think, as I study his throbbing shaft and the glistening dot of precum on his cherry-red head, is GIVE ME EVERYTHING, AND GIVE IT TO ME NOW.

I feel so empty, achingly so, a void that's going to need every unbelievable inch of him to fill.

"This is my first time having sex," I admit, staring into those green eyes that just don't feel like the eyes of a stranger. They don't. "For so long I've wanted it to be perfect, but…"

Well, I probably shouldn't be admitting that I'm settling for less than my idea of perfect dream sex after thirty years of waiting just because I'm lost in a sea of sexy mountain pheromones. Drowning…

"Then I will do everything to make it perfect for you, Gold, if you think I'm worthy of being your first lover," Brooks says, not seeming to take any offense, and so sweetly my heart squeezes. And then his thumb goes back to circling my clit and my brain is back to shorting out. "I want to be that man—I'd be honored to."

"Of course I think you're worthy…but…" There are so many things I should say, I need to say, but what I blurt is, "I want to have sex with Buck too."

Honesty is the best policy, right?

"Then you can," he says. "You can have us all. If you want that."

"I do," I say, and is it perfect? No. But it's the truth. I want them all so bad. But I can't. Because I can't go back to the cabin. Because… "But Luke—"

"Don't you worry about Luke. Don't you worry 'bout a thing."

He silences me with a kiss so tender it whisks my worries away.

I lose all track of the time once he settles himself between my legs and the condom packet is opened. I don't even take the time to ask why he has condoms when he lives on a secluded mountain because I'm too focused on the way he's making my pussy feel. Oh, right. The tavern girls. The thought flits in and out of my mind quickly, because he's on his knees before me, his thighs spread, and his cock is on full display for me, just as I'm spread before him. I don't feel shy at all, which isn't weird for me because I'm not the shy type, but I've never been fully open like this, gorgeous male eyes on my naked body in the broad daylight, only dimmed by the thin veil of the tent walls.

But I love it. The way his eyes are slightly dazed as he drinks me in, pausing the condom application to stare, licking his lips.

I don't want him to pause. My hand goes to my nipple, and I circle it with my fingers, relishing the sensation. His eyes widen as he follows my movements and then he's finally finished putting the condom on.

"Are you ready, snapdragon?" he says as he settles himself over me again, using his massive arms to hold himself up.

"Yes!" I cry.

He grins, slow and sexy, and then dips down to kiss me.

And we kiss and kiss. My thighs fall open even wider and the ache to be filled by him has me grinding against him. But he seems lost in kissing me, and his kisses are delicious.

By the time his cock is lined up at my entrance, my legs are shaking from the anticipation.

"Please, Brooks," I whisper. Or more like whimper. "Now."

"I'll be gentle," he promises, but I shake my head. I'm not here for gentle. If I'm going to give up my virginity now, in a way that's pretty much the opposite of any of my damn fantasies, I'm going to make sure I'm being fucked .

"I want you to give it to me, Brooks. Don't hold back. Fuck me. Make me feel alive."

He stares at me. "Are you sure?"

"Brooks, please," I whimper again. "I'm sure. Please fuck me. Fuck me hard."

"I don't want to hurt you, darlin'," he says.

"You won't," I promise.

He makes a soft growling sound and then he pushes his hips forward. The tip of him fills me and I cry out. In pain, in pleasure, I don't know, a mix of both, but I want more. I want it all. I try to watch between us as his body takes mine. I want to see everything, but his cock feels too good as he pushes deeper. My eyes slam shut automatically as I'm overpowered by ecstasy, forced to give myself over to the sensation of pure bliss. My head falls back.

"My God, you're so hot right now, Gold," he growls. I can't answer because he's still pushing deeper, and my mouth has fallen open, my breath caught in my lungs. "The hottest thing I've ever seen."

He's so huge I'm not sure he'll fit, but then he pushes deeper again, and I gasp, surprised at how full I feel, how stretched, how needy for even more.

"Gold, are you ready for more?" he says, tipping his head down to kiss my shoulder.

I manage to open my eyes and I see in the way he watches me, biting his lips, his dazed eyes tight, that he's holding back. He's being gentle, after all, letting me adjust.

"Give me everything, Brooks. Please stop holding back. Forget about trying to make it perfect. Just fuck me."

He rocks forward, and I gasp again as he fills me, stretching me with every last glorious inch of his cock as he fully covers my body with his. When he slides out, I start to tell him to stop, to stay inside me and never leave.

But then he slams his hips into mine, spearing me, and I can only cry out from the pleasure. It's too much and not enough at the same time.

"This what you want?" he growls.

I nod vigorously and buck my hips under him, desperately trying to feel more, more, more.

He kisses me again before changing positions, settling back on his knees again. He scoops me up, both hands under my ass, and slides me toward him.

This time, when he enters me, he settles in so deep he pokes me in the brain. I'm pretty sure that's what's happening anyway, because my brain has officially exploded and I can feel him in every inch of my body.

When I said I wanted to fuck, he took the request seriously, because he starts to rock his hips, building up such a hard, fast rhythm that I have to grip his biceps in order to hold on enough to match.

Does it hurt? A little, but the pleasure is a balm to the pain.

From this angle, I can see as he starts to sweat, his burly body glistening. I can't do anything but rock into him and stare at him, watching his beautiful face twist as his grunts turn to moans.

And then he reaches between us and flicks my throbbing clit, his fingers sending waves of electricity through my blood.

When my body explodes in the most incredible display of fireworks, I cry out loud enough to wake every nocturnal animal in the forest. My pussy pulses so hard that everything in me quakes, and Brooks has to grip my hips tight in order to fuck me through the pleasure.

Just as the last waves of sensation begin to end, he makes a snarling sound, pulling me onto him with one strong motion, hitting me deep enough to send my orgasm into overdrive. He sounds like a wild animal as he releases, his growl more feral than ever. We cling to each other, heaving, breathless, and a few minutes later I nearly howl with the loss when he pulls out.

"Jesus, Gold. That was…wow. Didn't know sex could be that good."

"Hold me," I whisper, because I'm afraid that if he lets me go, I'll just fall over into a heap. I feel boneless, like I'm made of jelly. No. I feel light and free. I feel like I'll float away.

I feel like I've found what I need.