Chapter 40

Cruz

I ’m alone in the living room when the front door opens and closes.

“You lovebirds are back early. Was the date terrible?” I call.

Joking, obviously. I want every date Winnie has to be amazing, whether it’s with me or not. Though… I’m not too humble a guy to admit that Axe, Deez and I set the bar pretty damn high for Mason.

Poor schmuck.

When I hear footsteps, I pull my hand out of my pants, but not fast enough.

“Are you really choking the chicken on Mom’s couch, you perv?”

It’s Mason. I look behind him, but it’s only Mason. No Winnie to be found.

“Where’s Win?” I ask.

And, yes, I was choking the chicken on Mom’s couch. Is it my fault a commercial for WildVenture Outfitters came on and there was a shot of a tent? Camping will never not turn me on for the rest of my life.

“She’s…” he begins, but trails off, looking so damn squirrely and guilt-ridden I almost ask where he buried the body.

“If she went home with another dude, that’s a bad sign, bro,” I quip.

Obviously I’m kidding. But based on his sigh, I’m guessing he’s not amused.

“I need to talk to Max. Know where he is?”

“I am not, as they say, my brother’s keeper. But I’m pretty sure he went out with Leo. They said something about tacos or taxis? I wasn’t really paying attention. You can talk to me, though. I almost always know where I am.”

He narrows his eyes at me, slightly. Then with another giant sigh, he plunks onto the sofa.

“I fucked up bad, man. Max and I both did.”

My heart skitters in my chest. I’m a grown-ass man. My heart shouldn’t be skittering, but I know their fuck-up has something to do with Win, so skitter my damn heart does.

I click off the TV and put down the remote. Leaning forward, my elbows on my knees, I ask, “What did you do?”

As he tells me, my heart stops skittering and plummets.

“Where is Winnie?” I demand when he’s done .

“She drove my car back. I took a rideshare. She left before I did, by like fifteen minutes so she should’ve been back by now.”

And yet she’s not.

Shit .

I can tell Mason feels rotten, but that doesn’t absolve him in my eyes. He should feel rotten. I don’t think I’ve ever been so pissed at one of my brothers. Ever.

“Call Tweedledummer, and call Leo, and tell them to get their asses back here. Now .”

I pull out my phone and text Win.

I need to know you’re okay, Darlin’.

I wait for a few seconds but the text doesn’t switch to read.

Which is good if she’s driving, I guess, but damn it all to hell! What if she just took off?

The vindictive little voice inside me whispers that if she did, at least she made off with Mason’s precious Jag. I hope she keys it from hood to bumper.

Too bad that’s not Win’s style.

I am flooded with relief when my phone pings with a response from her.

I’m okay, Cruzie. I’ll be there soon.

My worry lessens, but my anger does not.

I storm through the house banging on doors, telling everyone to get their asses down to the living room. NOW. When we’re all gathered–minus Max and Leo, who are still a couple of minutes out–Jack asks, “What’s up with the theatrics, Cruz?”

He’s just being a little pissant because normally he’s the one that bosses us all around and calls the family meetings.

I glance at Mace and give his dumb ass the tiniest sliver of mercy.

“Let’s wait for Max and Leo,” I say.

He has an accomplice, after all, and Max needs to get his share of the blame. Besides, it kills two birds with one stone if we kick their asses at the same time.

We don’t have to wait long. From the look on Max’s face, I can tell that when Mason texted, and told him to come home, he filled him in on what had gone down.

“What the fuck is happening?” Leo asks. “Where’s our girl?”

Ah, so Max has not filled him in.

“She’s on her way,” I say.

Jack glances at me before turning to Mason. “On her way back from where? You two came back from your date and she left to go…?”

“She didn’t come back with me.” Mason’s looking at his hands.

“Why the fuck not?”

“Apparently there’s a spin-off of 1 Girl, 10 Hammers in the works,” I say flatly, since neither punkass Max nor Mason seem to be racing to confess. “Winnie found out about it somehow and is understandably upset. It’s called Who Wants To Marry A Hammer Brother? ”

Jack looks perplexed. “Is there another set of Hammer brothers I don’t know about?”

My eyes flit from one of my brothers to the next. They all appear as clueless as Jack does.

“I mean,” Jack goes on. “None of us knew about this, right?” He turns to Mason. “You were with her when she found out? Did you tell her none of us knew shit about this?”

Mason doesn’t say anything for a minute, but finally Max speaks up. Maybe the hole I was boring into his forehead with my glare did the trick.

“I’m doing the show,” he says defiantly. “I signed up and convinced Mason to do it too. It’s only a two-season contract, so I guess they were waiting to see–”

Everyone is speaking at once so it’s hard to make out what anybody is saying, but the vibe is impossible to miss. Everyone is angry as hell.

Then Max yells to be heard over us all. “She was never going to choose us!”

We all fall silent.

He repeats, sounding so damn broken-hearted I almost, almost feel bad for the little bitch, “She was never going to choose us.”

He goes on and it’s fucking heart-wrenching to listen to him explain why he felt that way. Then he says again, with more conviction, “She was never going to choose me. Or Mace.”

“You’re right,” a voice says and we all turn to see that Winnie has snuck up on us once again .

She’s standing in the doorway between the hall and the living room. “I wouldn’t have ever chosen you, Max, or you, Mason.”

I swear, we all hold our breath waiting for her next statement.

The identical pain etched on Max and Mason’s faces look like she’s just taken their dicks and straight ripped them off their bodies. Or maybe their hearts out their chests. On the other hand, several of my brothers can’t hide the relief they obviously feel that this means their own personal odds of being Winnie’s favorite Hammer have gone up.

“I wouldn’t have ever chosen any of you.”

Now I feel like she’s ripped my heart out of my chest. “Winnie, don’t say that. Please don’t let what these two have done stop you from–”

She holds up a hand, making my plea die on my lips. Much like the hope that she’ll ever be mine is dying inside me.

I glance around. We all look like a bunch of balloons that she’s just popped with a single needle.

“Cruzie, this isn’t about what they’ve done. It’s about what I’ve done. I’ve been merrily dating all of you… having sex with most of you… falling more in love with each of you every day… while still somehow trying to convince myself that choosing one of you my favorite is going to be possible at the end. I couldn’t when we started this… and I won’t ever be able to. So don’t be mad at Mason and Max. How they went about it was shitty and shady as fuck, but they did the right thing for them.”

We all protest at once like we’ve fucking rehearsed it. Even Mason and Max .

“Let me finish, please,” she continues, and there are tears welling up in her eyes.

I want to go to her and dry them.

She turns her attention to Axel after we’ve all quieted down. “I know you said I could take all the time I needed to make a decision, that if I wasn’t ready to choose once the reno is done, you don’t see why I should have to.”

We all turn our attention to Axel.

He shrugs. “Meant it when I said it, still mean it now. This isn’t something she should have to rush. This isn’t something that should have a deadline. And unlike some of you,” he shoots eye-daggers at Max and Mason, “I’m perfectly happy with the way things are now.”

“Me, too,” Gavin and Gunnar say simultaneously. I don’t think I’ve ever heard them say anything in sync before and if circumstances were different, I’d laugh.

But the circumstances are, our girl is crying her eyes out and clearly hurting and we’re all sitting around like lumps.

I start to stand, to go to her, and she shakes her head.

“But taking all the time I need isn’t fair to any of you. Because I would literally need forever. My favorite Hammer would be the one who died last of old age.”

I do laugh at that, because, hell, my girl is funny.

My girl.

How will I ever stop thinking of her that way now that I’ve started?

“It’s not fair for any of you to put your futures on hold for me any longer. I know, without a doubt, I am not going to be able to choose. Letting go of any of you would destroy me. So I have to let go of all of you. You should all sign up for Who Wants To Marry A Hammer Brother? I think it’s going to be a smash hit,” she glances at Mason. “No pun intended.”

I can see her lip tremble from across the room as she glances from Mason to Max and back again.

“I can’t believe the two of you signed on to do that show while you were dating me. And making me believe you were whole-heartedly in it, too,” she says, her voice laced with betrayal. “While I was driving home, it made me question everything. Doubting everything all of you have said to me, done with me. For a split second, I wondered if any of you were taking it seriously. If any of you saw me as an endgame. And I realized… for those of you who haven’t broken my trust, I still trust you completely. I will cherish every moment we’ve had together.” She looks around at all of us, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “But I would be foolish to think you haven’t all been thinking what comes next for you, if you weren’t the one I chose. If you weren’t, you should’ve been. So I can’t blame Max or Mason for that. And I don’t want any of you to, either. But we were all supposed to be open and honest with each other. And I am so disappointed in you both for doing the exact opposite of that.”

Max gets up. “Winnie.”

She shakes her head. “We’ll be okay, Max. You’ll always be one of my best friends. Part of my family. But I need some time alone. I’m not running away from anyone. This is just a loss for me and I need time to grieve it alone.”

“Winnie,” Max says again. He goes to her and I’m surprised when she lets him hug her. She visibly tenses, but she lets him hug her. When they pull apart, bro is fighting an impending ugly cry so hard it’s almost unbearable to watch. “Break up with me. I deserve it. But I pressured Mason into signing on. Don’t punish him. And definitely don’t punish any of the others.”

“I’m not punishing anyone, Max,” she says, softly. “I’m doing what’s best for you all. Please nobody follow me. I’ll be fine. I just need time.”

We all watch in silence as she walks out.

As soon as she’s out of earshot, Jack says, “Before everyone dog-piles on Max and Mason, I’d like us to all agree that we need to focus on the solution, not the problem. They were dumbasses, obviously, but can any of us say we haven’t had the same fears?” he asks. Then he answers his own question before any of us can, “No, we cannot. We need to figure out how to get her back on board.”

“Were you not listening to her?” I ask him. “She said she won’t ever be able to choose.”

“So,” Jack says. “Maybe we need to take a page out of Axel’s playbook.”

“You mean tell her she doesn’t have to rush to make her decision?” Gav asks. “I don’t think she’ll go for that. She seemed pretty adamant about it, actually.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jack says.

“So…?” Gunnar prompts.

I think I know what Jack is thinking so I’m the one who says it. “So we get her on board by showing her she doesn’t ever have to choose.”