Chapter 39

Winnie

I don’t think I even say goodbye to Goldie before ending our call. And after I do, I stay in the bathroom so long that Mason sends Lindsey to check on me.

Thankfully, I’m locked in a stall and am done throwing up by the time she comes into the bathroom.

I tell her I’m fine.

Has there ever been a bigger lie in the history of time? In the past, I probably would’ve asked her if there was a back door I could sneak out of. No, I definitely would’ve done that. But that’s not even something I consider today.

I take another five minutes to pull myself together. I realize I should be crying, but the tears haven’t started to fall yet. I should be devastated but all I feel is numb.

Dad and Gram are talking louder than ever in my head, judging how oblivious, naive, and just plain stupid I’ve been .

I splash water on my face and walk out to where Lindsey and Mason are chatting at check-in. Mason’s big-ass grin is dead on arrival when he catches a glimpse of my expression.

He leaves Lindsey and comes over to me. “Hey. You okay?”

I obviously am not. But I can merely assume the worst, or I can get answers.

I deserve answers.

“Before you two leave, don’t forget to take a selfie in front of the We Smashed It wall!” calls Lindsey, who is obviously not as fluent in the nuances of my face as Mason is.

“We’ll have to catch that next time, Linds,” he calls back. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

I dodge his touch and fold my arms across my chest. “Is it true, Mason?” I ask and his eyes widen. Before I even give him a chance to breathe, let alone form a response to my question, I ask it again, louder, “Is. It. True?”

Please, God, let Goldie have gotten it wrong. Please let it be a big misunderstanding. Please…

He doesn’t have to say a word. The shame in his eyes give him away.

“Let’s go home,” he says, his voice low, gentle. “We can talk about everything on the way–”

“Mason, you’re doing a show called Who Wants To Marry A Hammer Brother ? You better believe I want to hear how you justify having sex with me when that is your endgame. But right now, I don’t even want to look at you, much less be alone with you. ”

The numbness has been washed away by an icy cold bucket of dark emotions. Betrayal. Sadness. Rage that tells me despite it all, I am my father’s daughter. I swallow all the mean words I want to spew. I’m not going to tear Mason down.

“Winnie, please, if you’ll just let me–”

My eyes burn like lava has gotten into them or something. “Did you sign up to do the spin-off before or after we started dating?”

I’m honestly not sure which is worse or why I even need to know. If he signed on before, that means he went into this knowing no matter who I chose, he had other plans.

If he signed on after, though… that means that even if I chose him, he was never planning on choosing me back.

His Adam’s apple works as he swallows hard. He at least has the decency to look me in the eye as he says, “After. Win, I am so sorry. Please. I’m begging you, just let me explain.”

“Later,” I tell him, because I want it to be clear that I am not running away. I am going to face this head on, but right now I want to slap him. I want to go into the smash room and grab the biggest sledgehammer I can pick up and demolish this whole damn building and every building within a three-mile radius.

“I’m going to get a rideshare,” I say. “You need to go. Go and tell the others I’m on my way and when I get there, it isn’t going to be fucking pretty.”

“Win–” he begins, stepping closer .

A wave of nausea hits me. He’s drenched in the scent of our sex.

I blink away the unshed tears that keep on building, waiting for the dam to burst.

“I have one question. You’re doing the second season of the spin-off,” I can’t even bring myself to say the title again, “and Max is doing the first. What are the other guys doing? Waiting to see who I choose before they make a decision who gets to be the star of Season Three?”

Mason’s eyes are downcast. He looks deeply ashamed.

“None of the others know anything about the show, so please don’t take this out on any of them,” he says. When he looks up, and meets my gaze again, his eyes are wet. “Winnie, please let me–”

“No, just leave. I’ll see you back at the house.”

“Cupcake, I am so sorry. Please let me–”

“I really hate the nickname Cupcake,” I say, which isn’t at all true, but right now, all the hurt inside me has to go somewhere, so I throw it at him.

And when it hits, it hurts him. His shoulders slump in a way that would be imperceptible to anyone else. I want to throw my arms around him, to hold him, even now. I want to listen to whatever he has to say, to hope beyond hope that somehow, someway, he can justify what he and Max have done.

Whatever he has to say, I can’t hear it right now. We were supposed to not have any more secrets. We were supposed to be open and honest with each other .

But then again, how could they tell me that they were never really taking this seriously?

I turn away, because I know he’s still staring at me. “Go home, Mason.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him shake his head. He holds out his keys. “You take my car. I’ll wait for a rideshare. I can’t just leave you here. I can’t just leave, knowing you are hurting.”

“Maybe you should’ve considered that before you hurt me!” I cry, not caring if Lindsey overhears. “Was this just a game to you and Max? Have you just been playing with my heart the whole time?”

My gut screams no, no, a thousand times no. It can’t be.

“Winnie. No. No . It just… we knew you weren’t going to choose us.” He rakes his hands through his hair. “You know Max and I loved doing 1 Girl, 10 Hammers. When we were certain you weren’t going to choose either of us, we didn’t want to pass up the opportunity. Hell, it’s not even about the dating aspect of the show. It’s just about getting another show. Staying relevant, keeping our careers–”

I hold up a hand to stop him. “The thing is, Mason, you can’t possibly know who I was or wasn’t going to choose because even I still don’t know that! And if you didn’t want to do this… you shouldn’t be doing this! You should have ended things with me, both of you, before you agreed to do the spin-off. I can’t believe you can’t see that!”

I feel like I’m being torn in two. Part of me just wants Mason to hold me and make it better. Part of me wants to tell him that first and foremost, he is my friend, and we’ll get through this .

But another part of me feels like, even after all we’ve been through, I suddenly don’t know him at all.

Mason… my sweet Mason… he couldn’t possibly betray me this way.

And yet, he did.

I’m suddenly exhausted.

I hold out my hand. “I think I’ll take you up on the offer to take your car, after all. I just want to go home.”