CHAPTER FOURTEEN

MACK

Holding Sadie, feeling her body against mine, I relax fully for the first time since my diagnosis. Telling her wasn’t nearly as bad as I feared it would be. I feel silly for not doing so right away. It would have lessened a lot of the stress I’ve been dealing with for the past two weeks. The strain of pretending everything was okay was breaking me down, and I didn’t realize the toll it was taking on both me and our relationship.

I’m glad everything is out in the open now. Rubbing my nose into her hair, I breathe in the soothing scent that is Sadie and smile. I don’t know what made Yvonne or her grandmother decide to get me and Sadie together, but I’m beyond grateful. Sadie keeps calling the grandmother a matchmaker and I suppose that’s quite fitting.

Hugging Sadie a little tighter, I remind myself that I can’t fall asleep as I still have work tonight. It’s hard as even with the lumpy couch I feel so comfortable with her that if I close my eyes I think I could drift off.

Drift off with the taste of Sadie on my tongue and the smell of her on my fingers. I grin and run my tongue along my lips. Damn, she’s hot.

And she’s mine.

I never thought this day would come, yet here we are. I hug her a little tighter as my smile grows.

“Are hearing aids the first step or are you going to go for the surgery?” Sadie suddenly asks.

I stiffen and force my tense body to relax as embarrassment fills me. “I’m not sure. I haven’t looked into things much.” Basically I haven’t done squat with the information the ENT gave me. I haven’t even called the audiologist as I’ve been avoiding all thoughts of my hearing loss.

Sadie snuggles deeper into my arms and looks up at me. “Well, we need to start.”

Her use of we makes something in my chest turn over. How easily she’s accepted this when I haven’t even come close to coming to terms with it yet.

Obviously, I need to. I can’t move forward with my life until I do. And even with this, my future could be bright and happy as long as I have Sadie by my side.

“Yes, we do need to start.”

Wiggling in my arms, she sits up and I do the same.

“The closed captioning on your TV is a good start. I’m sure they have other programs that could help you. Speech to text for your phone. And sign language!” Sadie’s face shines with excitement. “I bet one of the local colleges has classes in ASL.”

I swallow hard. I love her support and I appreciate it, but I don’t want this to take over my life. I don’t want to be that guy that’s going deaf. Or for clients to shy away from me because of my hearing loss. For Sadie to know is one thing. I don’t need everyone else to know and treat me differently.

“Hey, I appreciate how well you’re taking this, but let’s slow down, okay? I’m still coming to terms with things.”

Sadie’s smile slips a notch as she sinks back down on the couch. “Sorry, I tend to get carried away at times.”

“And I l-” I break off as I almost reveal the true depth of my feelings. “And I appreciate that you want to help,” I say quickly hoping to cover my almost slip. “It means the world to me that you’re okay with this.”

“Mack, it’s you. Of course I’m okay with this. I’m not happy you have to go through it, but I want you to know I’ll be right there to go through it with you.”

Tears obscure my vision. I haul Sadie into my arms as I blink the moisture from my eyes and my chest grows tight with suppressed emotion. Words can’t convey what I’m feeling so I don’t even try.

Eventually I let Sadie go and regretfully head to work.

To my surprise, Terry is sitting in my chair when I walk in.

“Didn’t know you were a client today,” I joke, feeling lighthearted and happy in a way I haven’t in a long time.

Terry’s dark eyes roll. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Coming from any woman that sounds bad. From a former lover it doesn’t inspire any good or giddy feelings either. She’s also a coworker so it’s best to get whatever it is over with quickly so we can move on.

“Sure, what’s going on?” I ask, leaning a hip against the rolling cart where my supplies are kept.

“I didn’t realize you and Sadie were dating.”

It’s been two weeks since Sadie came in and saw me with Terry, so I don’t know why she’s bringing this up now. To be honest I wasn’t even aware she knew Sadie’s name. Sure Sadie’s been coming in for tattoos with me for two years, but she’s my client, not Terry’s, and we normally mind our own business. Something I wish Terry would start doing. This friend BS is new, and I don’t want nor appreciate it.

“Yes, we are dating,” I say gruffly.

Her lips pinch together. “Little juvenile for you, don’t you think?”

I think no such thing. “She’s twenty-eight. Yes, she’s younger. It’s not that big of a deal. It’s only eleven years.”

Laughing, Terry gets up from my chair and walks over to me. “The way she ran out of here I would have thought she was twelve. You have to watch out for those immature jealous types. You never know what will set them off.” With a smirk, she reaches for my arm. “Before you know it she might say you can’t have any female clients.”

I jerk away from her touch, and Terry’s smug grin widens. “Or she’ll dictate who you can work with. I know her type. Controlling and jealous.”

“You don’t know a thing about her.” I move around her to start getting my station set up and Terry steps in my path. Glaring at her, I say, “And you don’t know me either.”

Her mouth opens in shock and shuts with a click. “I’m only trying to save you from trouble later on and this is the thanks I get,” she huffs. “Whatever, you’ll see that I’m right.” She stomps away into the back room.

What the hell was that about?!

I’d say Terry was jealous of me being with Sadie, yet that makes no sense. Our fling ended mutually and in the years since she’s never acted like she wanted to rekindle things. Not that I wanted that either. What we had was purely a physical thing, and that’s not what I want anymore.

And certainly not what I need.

Who I want and need is Sadie. She’s the total package, a friend who is also my lover and who I can see spending the rest of my life with.

Maybe Terry is seeing something that I’m not, but no way am I about to throw away the best thing that’s ever happened to me on her say so.

***

I’m munching my way through a bowl of cereal when my doorbell starts ringing followed by loud pounding on the door. Frowning, I get up and go to the door. I’m not expecting anyone or a package so I’m not sure who’s bothering me.

Sadie’s cheerful face beams at me through the peephole.

“What a nice surprise,” I say, opening the door and stepping aside to let her in.

She has a big teal and white striped tote bag on her shoulder as she bounds into the house.

Sadie speaks very slowly, her mouth carefully enunciating each word. “Mack! Good morning. Hopefully I didn’t wake you.”

“No, I’m up. I was finishing breakfast.” I don’t mention her odd speech pattern.

“Good! I’m happy I did not wake you.” She digs into her bag. “Look what I got!” She continues to talk slowly like I’m a baby and it takes effort not to snap at her.

Pulling several books out of her bag, she hands them to me with a grin.

There are several on sign language, one on positive self-esteem, and three on coping with deafness.

“I told you I wanted you to slow down with this,” I grit out, handing the books back to her. “I don’t want to learn sign language and my self-esteem is fine. You need to back off.”

Hurt flashes on Sadie’s face and I feel like I just tore the wings off a butterfly.

“Look, I’m sorry. I’m still adjusting to this. I need time, okay?”

“Sure,” Sadie says stiffly, stuffing the books back into her tote bag. “I was only trying to help.”

I close my eyes as my shoulders droop. Letting out a deep breath, I rub at my face. When I open my eyes, Sadie is watching me with a wary expression on her face.

“I know you’re just trying to help. Just lay off a bit, please.”

“Sure,” she says again, backing away from me. “I should let you get back to your breakfast.”

Nodding, I watch as she fumbles with the doorknob and practically races down my walkway.

Part of me knows I should go after her and apologize further for my harsh words. Another part of me can’t help but remember Terry’s warning about Sadie being controlling. It certainly seems that she’s not respecting my wishes and trying to force what she thinks I should do on me.

Maybe we both need some time to come to terms with things.