CHAPTER THIRTEEN

SADIE

Things with Mack are good. There are just little things that are puzzling. Like why he never wants to talk on the phone and prefers to text. Or how sometimes he’ll mutter and then his volume will go up without cause.

He’s such an attentive and sweet guy, but then he’ll ignore my questions or comments. Not always, just occasionally.

It’s like he’s two different men at the same time. My sweet, tender boyfriend and some inconsiderate guy that annoys me.

This yo-yoing is doing my head in.

As much as I dread it, we need to talk. As in a serious talk, something I’m not the best at. I can talk about inconsequential things for hours on end and am happy to do so. When it comes to real life matters I clam up.

Later today Mack has work while I just finished up a fast six-hour shift. Our schedules don’t quite mesh up, but we’ve been able to sneak in time together most days and the days we can’t we text.

Today the plan is for him to come over for an hour or so and hang out before work. He doesn’t know that it’s going to be anything but relaxing as I’m going to voice all my concerns and try to figure out what’s going on and where we go from here.

That this could be the end of us is devastating. I’ve never fallen so fast or so hard for a guy before. Yes, I was engaged when I was twenty. Like I told Mack, it was a mistake. Just a foolish infatuation and good sex that I mistook for more. We had zero in common and frankly, I don’t think either of us really liked the other as a person.

That’s not the case with Mack. I like who he is, and the amazing sex is just a bonus. I never thought I would think like that, and yet here I am.

I fly around my apartment straightening up and cleaning in an effort to work out my nervous energy. My place is tiny, so there’s only so much that can be done. Mostly it’s me shifting things around and wishing I had more storage space.

When a knock comes at the door, I freeze in place with a bright orange throw pillow dangling from my fingers.

Is it too late for me to pretend I’m not home? I’m so scared that I’m not going to like the answers I get. If he even answers me. He might get pissed and walk out.

I toss the pillow.

No way. That’s not Mack at all. That may be what other guys have done before when confronted with issues. I can’t see Mack doing that, though. He’s even said he doesn’t want to jeopardize our relationship. Plus, he’s too nice of a guy that I have a hard time imagining him actually getting worked up enough to storm out of anywhere.

That thought settles me and gives me the courage to open the door.

Mack is standing there on the threshold looking handsome and irresistible in his usual faded jeans and a long-sleeved dark blue Henley. The man could make anything look good. His eyes sparkle and his smile pulls me in like a magnet.

I’m in his arms, lifting my face for his kiss before he’s even completely inside.

With a deep chuckle that curls my toes, Mack’s strong arms wrap around me as his lips claim mine in a kiss that makes me forget all my worries. In his arms only the two of us matter and the feelings he evokes within me.

All too soon he pulls away. “Hey beautiful,” he says. “A man could get used to that kind of hello.”

How could a man that says such sweet things be keeping something from me? It doesn’t make sense.

It’s too cliché to say we need to talk. Instead, I lead him by the hand over to the couch. It’s nowhere near as comfortable as his couch is, but I don’t have anywhere else for us to sit together except my bed and if I get him on my bed talking will be the last thing on my mind.

Mack reaches over rubbing his thumb between my eyebrows. “Something bothering you?”

My face is too expressive! I can’t keep anything from anyone, least of all him.

He drops his hand from my face. I clutch at it, desperately needing his warmth and strength to get through this.

“Mack, I like you so much, but something is going on. You’re not acting the same.” I rush on before he can deny it. “Please, I’m not stupid. Just be honest with me.”

His free hand scrubs at his face, his expression weary as he stares at me. “I didn’t know it was that obvious.” Heaving a sigh, he tries to smile, but it ends up being more of a grimace. “It’s never been my intention to hurt you.”

Fear seizes my heart, squeezing it so hard I can barely breathe past the pain. “You’re seeing someone else,” I whisper, feeling completely broken. I had actually started to believe in the magic of the matchmakers. Silly Sadie. I should know better.

“No!” he shouts, shaking his head and grabbing my hands between his like he’s afraid I’m going to leave.

His denial is so vehement that I believe him.

That still doesn’t explain what’s going on with him.

“Then what is it?” I ask, clinging to his hands. “Why are you so distance at times? Mack, you’re my boyfriend and my friend. I want you to feel comfortable and able to talk about anything with me.” I give a weak smile. “You know I do.”

Closing his eyes, Mack’s broad shoulders sag and once more I’m gripped with fear.

“I’m losing my hearing,” he whispers.

“What?”

Opening his eyes, his lips quirk up in a sad half-grin. “That’s my line.”

I understand using jokes for levity. I’m guilty of doing it myself. Now is not the time, though.

His words don’t make any sense. “You’re talking with me right now.”

Mack nods. “It’s because it’s just you and me with no background noise and I’ve gotten quite good at reading lips. I never realized I was doing it until when I couldn’t see people’s mouths it hit me how much I relied on it to be able to follow a conversation.”

“What can you do? Have you seen a doctor?”

Another sigh eases from him. “Yes. Two weeks ago.”

“And? What did they say?” Anxiousness makes my voice sharp. I work to calm down and keep my tone level. “Is there anything you can do to fix this?”

Shrugging, he looks down at our joined hands. “Hearing aids, possibly surgery at some point. All to help. There is no cure and it might progress.”

I wrench my hands from his and then throw them around him in a tight bear hug. I squeeze for all I’m worth. My heart hurts so badly for Mack. How he’s been holding this in for two weeks and not saying a word, what a strain on him that must have been.

“I’m sorry,” I say close to his ear so he can hopefully hear me.

Mack’s arms wrap around me just as tightly as I’m holding onto him.

“I’ll understand if you don’t want to continue dating me,” he chokes out in a low, husky whisper.

Hurt, I pull back and struggle in his hold until he releases me. I want him to be able to see my face and clearly read my lips. “How could you think that? Do you think I’m that shallow?”

Mack’s eyes bore into me. “This isn’t what you signed up for.”

Some of my hurt lessens. This isn’t about me; this is about him. I need to remember that.

Inwardly, I cringe. I’ve been selfish in the past. There’s no denying that. Things always revolve around my wants and needs. When Mack said he wanted to take care of me I was all for that. I never told him that I would care for him as well. That’s what a relationship is about, give and take, not one person doing all the giving and the other all the taking.

I wanted the matchmakers to find my perfect guy. Not a perfect man, but one who was perfect for me. And they did. So, even though Mack says I didn’t sign up for this, I did. And I’m not going to let this destroy what we have.

“Mack, I like you. I like us together. Whatever you’re facing I want to be there to help you.”

“Sadie.” His voice breaks on my name and his palms cup my cheeks as he gazes at me with emotion turning his eyes soft. “Thank you.”

His lips crash into mine moving hungerly and with desperation. I meet him kiss for kiss, willing the depths of my feelings into my kisses. This man amazes me more and more.

Loping his arm around my back, he lowers me to the couch, his lips moving over my face and kissing his way down. I help him peel up my shirt and Mack wastes no time shoving my bra up and latching onto my nipple.

At the warm suction of his mouth, I moan and arch up, my legs shifting desperately. Skillful fingers work their way under the waistband of my yoga pants and palm my mound. Gasping, I roll my eyes upwards as he parts my inner lips and teases my clit before easing a finger into my pussy.

Mack goes back and forth between my nipples, licking and sucking and driving me insane with want. One finger in my pussy becomes two and then a third joins them. I cling to him, whimpering as desperate need urges my hips to thrust wildly with each pump of his fingers inside of me.

Leaving my breasts, Mack kisses his way down and tugs my pants lower. His mouth goes between my spread thighs, his tongue lapping at my clit before he sucks the small nub into his mouth.

Heat, want, and need explode in me. All of it centered in the wet throbbing spot between my legs. He sucks my clit without mercy. I tug at his hair, not sure if I’m trying to pull him away or make sure he doesn’t move as I’m racing toward what might be the most powerful orgasm of my life.

Relentlessly, his fingers press and rub at the spot inside that has me going off like a cannon. Mashing my pussy to his mouth, I come with a scream.

Mack eases off my clit and the throbbing of it feels like a heartbeat. Sweet satisfaction leaves my limbs weightless. I sink into the lumpy couch as if in a dream.

Pulling my pants up, Mack lays down next to me, holding me close. I snuggle into his arms and think about what an amazing man he is and how lucky I am to have him.