33. Toby

The wards at my front door tripped, alerting me to someone letting themselves in. Grabbing my stake, I tried to calm my racing heart at the thought that it might be Blaise. Was he ready to talk? Was I?

Disappointment flooded me when I entered the living room and spotted the tall vampire helping himself to my Adamanthea. "Make yourself at home, why don't you."

"Always do," Tyler said, raising his glass in a mock cheers. His eyes fell curiously to the stake in my hand. "What kind of visitor were youexpecting?"

I shoved it into a drawer, closing it with a grumble. "Wasn't expecting anyone, hence the weapon. Why are you here?"

Tyler settled onto the sofa, crossing an ankle over his knee and fussing with the fall of his suit. Like Cal, he preferred a more traditional mode of dress. Plus, nothing failed to get a sub more excited than when he wielded his whip while wearing a shirt and dress trousers. Not that he had any issues attracting subs. Even if his reputation as a skilled Dom didn't precede him, his looks would've sold it. As tall as Mori, his body was tightly packed with wiry muscles. His short beard and hawklike eyes didn't make him bad to look at either.

"Can't I just stop by to see an old friend?"

I dropped into the chair, levelling him with a cool stare. "Cut the bullshit, Tyler. We don't stop by. We see each other at kink clubs or when one of us needs something."

"Here I was thinking we were friends."

I huffed in annoyance. "We are friends, Tyler. You know that."

Supernatural friendships were often different from human ones. Given how long we generally lived and how often we travelled, it was perfectly normal to go decades, and sometimes centuries, before catching up with old friends. Given I'd spoken to Tyler relatively recently to persuade him to take on Blaise as a patient, I hadn't expected to see him so soon.

I groaned inwardly as the penny dropped. "Is this about Blaise?"

Tyler's lips quirked in amusement. "I can't discuss anything related to my patients due to confidentiality."

"That's not a no."

"Astute as ever. I'm not here to discuss Blaise. I'm here to discuss you. Got anything you want to tell me?"

I fiddled with my lip ring. Maybe I should open up to Tyler. I had to assume he knew the story from Blaise, even if he couldn't tell me that. "I fucked up."

Tyler sipped from his glass. "Elaborate."

So I did. I told him everything, going back to when I'd met Blaise. To the contract I'd suggested and the restrictions I'd put on us. The way Blaise had opened up to me, trusting me to guide him. How I'd fallen for him. The plans I'd had to move our relationship forward. To take that next step with him.

"What happened?" Tyler's drink had long since been finished, the glass abandoned on the coffee table as he listened intently. "Why didn't you tell him?"

I rubbed a hand over my tired eyes. "I fucked up. We were attacked and we…we couldn't stop Bailey and the other humans dying. Blaise had to watch him die all over again, Tyler. Knowing he could do nothing to stop it. Do you have any idea what that did to him?"

"I'm his therapist, Toby," he reminded me. "I'm likely more aware than you are at this point."

That stung, but he was right. I gave in to the temptation that had been nagging at me since I'd seen Tyler. "How is he?"

His glare was a rebuke. "I can't and won't discuss my patients, Toby."

I sighed, tugging on my lip ring. "Can you at least tell me if he's attending his appointments?"

Tyler stared at me critically before answering. "I've had no cancellations from any patients recently. Some have even increased their appointments with me."

A band loosened around my chest. I was glad Blaise had Tyler. I knew my friend wouldn't steer him wrong.

Not like I had.

"What happened after that? I can't imagine that would've been enough to put you off confessing your feelings."

I couldn't look at Tyler as I outlined the next part. How I'd pulled the cursed sword from Blaise's body then lied to him about it. How I'd not only continued to lie about it, but enlisted River and the others in my coverup without their knowledge.

"Did you ever plan on coming clean to Blaise?"

I glanced up at Tyler. He had the same impassive expression as when I'd started talking. Either he had the best poker face ever—likely given his profession—or he'd already heard all this from Blaise. "No. I didn't want Blaise to feel any guilt over what happened. I knew he'd blame himself. You should've seen how he reacted when he just thought someone might be cursed because of him. There was no way I was going to confirm his worst fears, not when he's been doing so well."

"And at this time, you were still in a contract with him, yes?" The only signifier of Tyler's anger was the minute drop in his tone.

I closed my eyes. "Yes."

"You are aware, as a Dom with centuries of experience under his belt, that the two must fundamental principles for any Dom/sub contract to be a success are honesty and communication?"

"You know I am."

"So why did you lie?"

"Because I love him." I opened my eyes slowly to find Tyler watching me closely. "Have you ever been in love?"

Tyler considered it for a moment. "Can't say I have, no."

"Love makes you do stupid, reckless things. Things a normal, sane version of yourself would never even consider. I know what I did was wrong, but honestly? I'd do anything to make Blaise happy. I would've kept this from him for a thousand years if necessary if it meant him not losing a minute of sleep over it." I spread my hands helplessly. "I know what I did was wrong, especially given our power exchange, but I just wanted him to be happy. It's all I've ever wanted."

"Do you think he's happy now?"

I rubbed my forehead wearily. "I have no idea. I haven't spoken to him since he terminated our contract."

"‘Terminated our contract.' Such a clinical way to say you broke up. Why is that?"

"We didn't break up. We were in a contract, not a relationship."

Tyler gave me a small smile, the kind you give someone who's being an idiot but hasn't realised it yet. "You just said you're in love with him."

I swallowed hard around the ball that had formed in my throat. "Yes."

"Why haven't you contacted him then? If you're in love with this man, you need to fix this."

"It's not that simple. I'm still cursed, Tyler."

He tilted his head to the side. "That doesn't strike me as something that'd be a deal breaker for Blaise. Surely he'd want to be at your side as you fight this? For you to search for a solution together?"

I repeated my words through gritted teeth. "It's not that simple."

Tyler clasped his hands together, leaning his chin on them. "Why not?"

"Because it's not," I said thickly, wishing things were different. "Say I don't find a cure. What do I expect Blaise to do? Sit by my side while I slowly wither away and die? Know that my death will break his heart? Take him back to a place I never want him to return to?"

I sank back in the chair heavily. "I can't do that, Tyler. I won't. I'd rather die knowing Blaise hates me than loves me. At least then he'll have a chance of moving on, of having a future once I'm gone."

Tyler hummed, still leaning on his hands. "You're assuming a few things my friend. First, you're assuming you're actually going to die. Given you've made it several centuries thus far, I can't see a curse taking you out."

"My body would disagree with that."

He waved that off as though it were nothing more than a minor inconvenience. "With the collective knowledge of the supes you're friends with, I imagine one of them will find a solution before it's too late. Ignoring that for now, you're also assuming that you know how Blaise will react to your death. Isn't assuming how he feels rather than asking him what got you into this situation in the first place?"

I rolled my eyes. "You're a real dick sometimes."

Tyler flashed his fangs at me. "Most of the time, actually. Finally, and most importantly, you're assuming Blaise hates you. That feels like a stretch given he told you he loved you."

I looked at him in surprise. "I didn't tell you that."

He inclined his head. "You didn't, but it happened nonetheless."

I rubbed at the ache in my chest. Blaise had told Tyler that he loved me. "If he loves me, why is he ignoring me?"

Tyler sighed. "You know, for an astute man, you're incredibly stupid sometimes. Think about it, Tobias. Think. Blaise told you he loved you, but now he's ignoring you."

Ouch, the full name. Tyler wasn't playing games. I inhaled deeply, trying to sort through my chaotic thoughts. "Because…because I hurt him. I lied to him and broke his trust. I refused him and denied him. I won't let him be there in the way he wants to be."

"Finally," Tyler muttered. "What you did broke the most fundamental principles of being a Dom. Even without everything else surrounding it, you fucked up. Big time. When you and Blaise sort this out, you're going to have to work damned hard to earn his trust."

When you sort this out. "Now who's making assumptions?"

Amusement glinted in Tyler's blue eyes. "I'm not assuming, I'm making a sound prediction based on your words."

"Oh? What words exactly?"

"That you'd do anything to make Blaise happy," Tyler replied simply. "Blaise has communicated what would make him happy very clearly. He wants you. Just you. Nothing else matters. So what are you waiting for?"