Chapter Five

Will stared at Carsten. Carsten was in love with him? He had to be hearing him wrong. Had to. Carsten wasn't in love with him. It was a joke. A farce. A lie to get him to sleep with him tonight.

"When I was eighteen, I wasn't smart enough to know I'd done something wrong. I wasn't savvy enough to admit my truth. I'm not that kid. I didn't come here to Northern to play just because I had to rehab my image. This is the last stop on the tour for a month and I chose this college because I wanted to see you. I wanted the chance to pour out my heart and soul in person and on stage. I didn't ask you to give me tonight just because I wanted to fuck. I did it because I wanted the chance to be with you."

Will reeled. He had to be hearing this wrong. Carsten … nothing made sense, yet it felt so right.

A knock on the door split the silence in the room. "Car? It's nearly time to go on. The band is playing the last song and our guys are getting ready in the wings."

"Who is that?" Will whispered.

"Frank, my stage manager." Carsten stood. He offered his hand to Will. "I'd love it if you'd watch me play. I saw all your productions and concerts. You might have thought I hated you, but I didn't. I was transfixed."

Will allowed Carsten to tug him to his feet. "Every one of them?"

"Uh-huh. You were fantastic as Tommy in Brigadoon and the sexiest Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz ." Carsten winked. "I need to head out. Frank will show you to your seat. I promise it'll be a great show."

"I had no doubts." He reached for Carsten's hand, moving on instinct. When he grasped Carsten's fingers, electricity shot through his body again. For a second, he was transported back to high school, but not the one they'd attended. A better version. The version where he and Carsten were together. Where they were a team and could face anything. A place where he and Carsten were a couple, just as they should've been all along. "I can't wait."

Carsten beamed. "Neither can I." He kissed Will, lingering a moment before stepping back. A warmth filled his eyes and a blush spread across his cheeks.

"Have a great show." Will didn't want to release his grasp on Carsten's fingers, but he had to let him leave. The crowd didn't want to see him show up late. Will stayed back, giving Carsten time to take the stage.

Frank stood in the doorway after Carsten left and grinned. "So you're the infamous Will."

"Should I be afraid that you know my name?" Or that he was infamous? "I created the art for the show."

"The posters, I know." Frank's grin widened. "You've also been the inspiration for at least a third of his musical catalog. He's been inspired by you for so long."

"You're joshing me." He shrugged. He wanted to say something snappy, but the words didn't come. "He's not that taken with me."

"He is. When you listen to him tonight, think about who he's singing for. It's not the woman in his life. Not his latest boyfriend. It's deep, longing love … it's for you." Frank waved his hand. "This way. You've got a performer to inspire."

"I guess I do." He followed Frank back to the curtained-off area where two velvet-covered seats waited. "Am I sitting with anyone else?"

"Nope. This is all for you. He wanted to be sure you'd be comfortable. I guess he thought you'd have someone with you. Good thing you don't." Frank lingered another moment. "Do you want a drink or anything? Snacks?"

"A beer?" He hadn't known he could get anything. "How much?" He withdrew his wallet.

"You should know better than that. Whatever you want is on the house." Frank left, then returned a moment later with a bottle of beer. "Just don't throw it at him."

"No." Why would he do that? He wasn't without manners. Jesus. "Thank you." He debated sitting or standing. The chairs sure looked comfy, but wasn't it concert etiquette to stand? This wasn't an instrumental concert. He could stand, dance, and cheer if he so desired.

The second the curtain rose, the spotlight shone on the lead guitarist as the music swelled. Will's excitement increased. He'd never been to a concert like this. The electricity was palpable. The guitarist played, then nodded over his shoulder. The larger set of curtains parted and the spotlight converged right on Carsten. Seeing him on stage stole Will's breath.

No wonder Carsten was a star. He oozed power and charisma. The more he listened to Carsten sing, the more he fell under his captivating spell. He swayed to the music and drank in the atmosphere. Carsten knew how to work the crowd, singing to the attendees not only in the first row, but throughout the arena.

Will sank onto the chair and embraced the sexual magnetism coming from Carsten. He'd thought he was immune to Carsten's charms, but he hadn't been. No blowjob could cement his feelings this way. He hadn't been with Carsten as a simple tryst. Something deeper had happened. Was he in love? Hardly. But he'd known this man for a long time and saw the changes within him. Carsten wasn't that kid from school. He might be cutthroat in the music business—Will wasn't sure—he hadn't been around him during business meetings. But his heart was different. He knew his shortcomings and had tried to make up for them.

Before he knew it, the concert ended and Carsten ducked backstage as the lights dimmed. The crowd didn't leave. Instead, they chanted his name. Will glanced around, expecting either the crowd to jump the stage or for Carsten to return.

The lights came up slowly, but Carsten wasn't on stage. His slide guitarist and the drummer sat on stools. The drummer played a small set of bongos while the guitarist strummed a regular guitar. Will didn't know most of Carsten's music, but this song sounded different.

The crowd cheered more and the lights dowsed again. When the spotlight came up, it focused right on Carsten.

"I wrote this song a few weeks ago and we've been tweaking it ever since. The guys don't know who it's for, but I do. We're still working on it and it's a little rough, but bear with us." Carsten sat on the stool between them. "This is called ‘Redeem My Heart'." He broke into the first verse of the song.

Will paused. A new song for someone … the second he heard the title, he knew. Carsten met his gaze and winked.Carsten sang:

"I came, I saw, I messed things all to hell.

I let my pride rule my life, despite knowing all too well.

You showed me how to be a man. How to love who I am.

My heart is in your hands.

I can't change how things have been but if you're ready, I need you.

Redeem my heart, I know you can. Redeem my heart and be my man."

How could he resist? Will rose to his feet and moved to the leading edge of the curtained-off space. He held onto the railing. He was falling in love. He'd need lots of time and they'd have to sort out how this romance would happen, but he'd fallen.

Will remained at the railing for the rest of the concert and swayed with the songs. When the lights went out the last time, then came up to full brightness, he sighed. What an experience. He'd never be the same. Everything that had happened—the song, the blowjob, the revelations from Carsten—had changed him. He wanted to redeem Carsten's heart and keep it in his hands. Did he deserve it? No, but he didn't care. He liked that Carsten had chosen him.

Frank gestured to him. "I was supposed to come get you before the contest winners got to see him, but they were better organized this time." He shrugged. "He's dying to see you."

"After that song and declaration, I'd assume so." Will followed him, moving the curtain aside.

"How come he gets to go there?" a woman shouted. "We should get to see Carsten, too."

Will didn't look back, but tensed. He should've expected Carsten would get come-ons like this.

"Ignore them. There are all sorts of people trying to get backstage. They think if they shout and demand, someone will give in." Frank tugged the curtain into place. "The guys are on the other side of the velvet ropes surrounding the curtains. No one will get through."

"I wasn't worried they would." He continued to follow Frank. "They think they should have access?"

"Some want to declare their love for him, some want him to declare he loves them, and others just want to touch him or steal things." Frank knocked on the door. When no one answered, he nodded once, then opened the door. "He's in the next room and will be over in a moment."

"Sure." He wasn't sure what to do with himself. Sit? Stand? Wander? He rubbed his hands on his pant legs and excitement thundered through his veins. His nerves frayed. He'd never been this on the edge before when he wasn't having sex. He didn't want to screw this up.

A moment later, the door opened. He whirled around to see Carsten. Sweat slicked his forehead and a blush infused his cheeks. His eyes widened and his lips parted. "Hi." Carsten sank onto the closet chair. "Good show?"

"The best." He marveled at Carsten. He'd never seen anyone sexier in his life. For all he knew, this would be his one night with Carsten, but he had the feeling it was only the beginning.

****

Carsten needed a few more minutes to catch his breath. He'd put his entire heart and soul into the show. "The fans demand a lot of attention. I must've signed a hundred autographs and posed for four dozen photos."

"I'm surprised it wasn't more pictures." Will dragged the wooden chair over and sat across from Carsten. "You were electric."

"You're biased." He brushed his knee against Will's and the thrill of touching him shot through him again. Singing about his feelings hadn't dulled them. Far from it. Singing about his attraction to Will only made it stronger.

"A bit."

He liked hearing that. "So you liked it?"

"You commanded the stage and were hard to look away from. You held my full attention." Will slid one of Carsten's hands into his. "I felt the longing, the desire, and every other emotion when you sang."

"Then I did my job." Carsten patted his thigh. "I don't have the right to demand you come here, but I'd love it if you did."

"You have all sorts of rights." Will perched on Carsten's lap. "What don't you think you can do?"

"Kiss you." Carsten slid his fingers around the back of Will's neck and tugged him closer. "I want you." He'd been bold in his song, but speaking his mind felt right. Holding Will felt even better. He caressed Will, shoving his hand under Will's shirt. The second he touched Will's chest, his own heart raced. The scent of Will intoxicated him. He longed to taste him all over. The more he looked into Will's eyes, the more he fell for him. Sure, things happened for a reason, but he never should've taken so long to get with Will.

"Who says you can't have me?" Will asked. "I never said you couldn't."

"You did." But arguing with him wasn't going to get them anywhere.

"I did, but I've changed my mind. I heard every word you sang to me and I want to see where this goes."

He had to be dreaming, but he didn't care. He needed this chance with Will. "Then come to my hotel room tonight."

"Not the bus?" Will's eyes flashed. "Don't you do that sort of thing on the bus?"

"Not with half of the band right there." He squeezed Will's ass. "I like my privacy when I'm with the hottest guy I've ever known."

Will blushed. "I'm not the hottest."

"Want to bet?"

Will's blush increased. "I don't believe you, but I like the flattery."

"You deserve it." He patted Will's ass again. "Up. I want to take you to my place."

"Temporary." Will stood, then grasped Carsten's hands. "I want to take you to mine. If you're going to do this, then let's do this right. No hotels."

He liked the way Will thought. Plus, he wanted the chance to enter Will's inner sanctum. "Lead the way."

"Don't we need an escort?" Will asked. "I didn't bring my car. I'm still parked in the staff lot behind the art building."

"We can walk." Carsten let go of Will's hands, then tugged his sweaty concert shirt off. He grabbed another shirt from his bag, then donned a long-sleeved one over top of his undershirt. He picked up the rest of his clothes and jammed them into the bag.

"Do you need to clean up?" Will asked. "Let me help you."

"Stop." He'd done this a hundred times and wasn't about to let Will clean up after him. He checked the dressing table, then shoved the rest of his belongings into the bag. "I have to do this after every concert."

"I bet you used to have someone who did it." Will folded his arms. "Cleaned up after everything you did."

"You're correct. When I took a step back and looked at my life, I realized I could do my own dirty work. I didn't need so many assistants because I could handle my own shit."

"And it got too expensive when that shit hit the fan?" Will asked. He crooked his brow.

"You're too smart for me." He zipped the bag shut. "I have it coming. After the way I behaved, you shouldn't talk to me."

"Then I'd be alone and bored." Will shrugged. "You're more fun."

"I hope so." He ensured he had his phone and wallet. "I'm ready."

"For?"

"Whatever you've got in store for me." He slid his arm around Will. "Now take me home and use me however you want."

"Don't say what you don't mean." Will led the way as they left the dressing room. "Where do we go? I don't know the bowels of this building."

"This way." He'd paid attention and memorized the directions when he'd paced the room preparing for the concert. He grasped Will's hand and tugged him through the labyrinth behind the stage to the rear door. The lights glittered and the trees lining the walkway threw shadows across their path.

Will tucked against him and fell into step with Carsten. "We're both so broken."

"We are." He caressed Will's shoulder. "Your ex was foolish for leaving you, but it's my good fortune. If I'd have been with you all this time, I'd have treated you better."

"You had to go through this journey to learn what you really want. I know I did." Will directed him across campus to the art building and the small lot behind the structure. "Here's my car."

He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but not the sports car. "This is yours?"

"I'm not allowed to have a fancy vehicle?"

"Not one so vintage or sporty." He waited as Will opened the passenger door of the black Jaguar, then Carsten placed his bag on the floor. He settled on the seat. "How do you keep it in such great shape?"

"A garage, and I can see the car from my office." Will closed the door, then rounded the hood. He sank onto the driver's seat. "That, and I've got one hell of a security system in it. If anyone touches it who isn't supposed to, the shrieking sound will split eardrums."

"Nice." He liked that Will took no prisoners with his car. He wanted to hold Will's hand, but saw that Will had to shift the car as he drove. "How far are you from campus?"

"Not far. Sometimes I ride my bike instead." Will drove out of the lot then wound along the streets of the college. Within a few minutes, he left campus and made his way down a tree-lined street to a simple Cape Cod home with an attached garage. "This is mine."

The house suited Will. Simple, but utilitarian and current.

Will pulled into the garage. "It's not fancy, but it's home." He parked, then shut the garage door. "Come inside?"

"You bet your ass I will." He hadn't even told his people he'd left the venue. He loved that he'd gone this far out on a limb with Will. The fear and excitement washed through him. For the first time in a long while—without music involved—he was having the best time. He chased Will into the house and stopped short in the kitchen. He swore he'd stepped right into the sixties. "What shade of blue are those cabinets?"

"Robin's-egg blue and white countertops. I know it's garish, but this was exactly the style in the house when I bought it and I can't bring myself to change it. I kind of like the funkiness." Will tossed his wallet, keys, and phone onto the counter. "At least I got rid of the carpeting."

"Good thing you did." He abandoned his wallet and phone with Will's then snagged Will in his arms. He pinned Will between his body and the counter. The second he had Will pressed against his body, he had to kiss him. Nothing else mattered.

Will eased his arms around Carsten and slid his hands into Carsten's back pockets.

Carsten groaned. He grinded his hips against the growing bulge in Will's jeans. The scent of Will curled around him and the sounds of their combined groans filled the air. He couldn't breathe or think straight. All he wanted to do was make love to Will. He hefted Will onto the counter, then worked the buttons on Will's shirt.

There was so much he wanted to do and not enough time to make up for his mistakes. At least he had tonight.