Chapter Four

Will stood outside of the convention center and debated his next move. He could go inside and give his heart a chance to be happy. A piece of him craved Carsten. The man was everything, physically, he wanted. Tall, blond, handsome, and those eyes… He'd longed to investigate them back in high school and feel Carsten's arms around him. If he had known Carsten needed him, he would've given him a shoulder to cry on. He'd always been a sucker for Carsten and big goofy guys with sad eyes.

But part of him wanted to turn and walk away. Good God. Carsten had treated him so terribly. Like shit, really. He'd made fun of him in front of everyone, tried to push him into a locker or two, tripped him, and called him names. He'd been cruel.

Had he really changed?

Will shook his head. Why was he thinking so hard about this?

Because he couldn't forget that kiss.His skin tingled as he remembered the way Carsten took control, kissed him senseless, and made him feel safe. Made him feel treasured. He hadn't felt that way in so long.

"Are you going in or are you standing outside?" Stan opened the door leading from the overhead walkway into the foyer of the convention center. "I didn't think you liked country music."

He stared at his former lover. "What are you doing here?" The last time he'd spoken to Stan, his ex-boyfriend told him to get fucked and die.

"I like this guy. He's hot and out and on the market." Stan stepped into the foyer. "I thought I'd try to catch his eye."

"He'd be interested in you?" His hands shook. It was so like Stan to try to step in, even if he had no idea Will was interested in Carsten.

Holy shit. He was interested in Carsten.

Him being here wasn't a fluke.He wanted this one-nighter with Carsten. Even if it was only to get him out of his system. He wanted him.

"How could he turn me down?" Stan swept his hands over his body. "I'm in perfect shape, I'm available, and we'd be hot together."

"Right." He snorted. "Everyone is so attracted to you because you're hot. You think everyone wants you. Have you ever considered attraction has more to do with emotions and appearance, not just how you look? Have you considered anyone else's feelings but your own?"

"Why?" Stan rolled his eyes. "One look at me and he'll beg me to come backstage. I'm the arm candy he needs."

"Please." He didn't know Carsten well, but he knew Carsten wasn't going to fall for Stan.

"Are you jealous? You did have a hard time when we split," Stan said. "You do realize I needed to move on. I wanted someone who could stand up to me and wasn't going to bend over all the time. Someone with some confidence."

"You're an asshole." He'd been pushed around for long enough and wasn't about to lose this chance with Carsten—not even for Stan. "I had plenty of confidence until you showed up in my life. You tore me down and ripped out my heart, then thought I should let you back in. I'll never date you again. I know my worth and you're a fucking waste." He surged past Stan through the foyer to the security team scanning tickets. He pulled the pass from his pocket and offered over the code.

"You've got a backstage pass?" Stan rushed up to him. "Take me with you."

"Sorry, sir. This pass is for one and exclusively states Mr. Rohr. This way, Professor." The guard ushered him through the door, closing it just as Stan tried to follow.

"You need to bring me along," Stan shouted.

Will wanted to look back but didn't. He refused to lower himself to Stan's level. Besides, he'd come to the realization he wanted to spend at least one night with Carsten. For all he knew, nothing would happen, but if the kiss was any indication of the attraction, then he was in for something fantastic.

"Where do I go?" Will asked the guard. "I've never had such a pass and attended the basketball games as a spectator."

"This way. I'll show you." The guard led him through the building to the main floor and up to the stage. "Let the guys see your pass and you'll get the rest of the way to your seat."

"Thank you." He hesitated. "You were in my digital design class, weren't you?"

"I was." The guard grinned. "I had to quit college to raise my daughter, but I loved that class. I use what I learned to create graphics for the school security team."

"Good. I'm glad you're able to use it. Thanks for helping me." He swore the guard's name was Tate, but didn't want to call him that if it wasn't.

"Enjoy the concert." The guard walked away, leaving him at the velvet rope leading to the gated area.

"You must be the boy toy." Another guard, this one in all black, unclipped the rope. "There's only one of those passes and I haven't seen Car give it out lately. You must be special. This way, Mr…?"

"Rohr." He followed the second guard through the area to a space cordoned off with black curtains. "You're permitted to be in here."

"I am?" This was so complicated. He ducked into the secluded space. No one else was in the area. This had to be wrong.

"The woman and her friend who won the radio contest will be joining you, as well as the dean and her wife. I believe another couple have a special pass, too." The guard dipped his head, then left Will alone.

Will rubbed his hands on his pant legs. This was wrong. He didn't belong in such a special area. He wasn't special.

"Will." Carsten gestured to him from the other side of the curtained-off space. "Come here. I didn't think you'd show up."

"I wasn't going to, but something drew me here." He crossed the expanse to Carsten. "Shouldn't you be warming up?"

"I will in a minute." Carsten tugged him through the curtains to the other side. People milled around and guards waited while Carsten kept walking. He didn't let go of Will's hand. "You're supposed to be backstage with me."

"I am?" He kept asking that, but the whole situation was surreal. "Carsten."

"I know. It's too much, right?"

"Yes." He stopped short. "We just started talking and I'm still scarred about the way you treated me. Who says I wanted to be backstage? I just wanted to listen a while." God, he was lying, but he wasn't ready to let Carsten off the hook so easily.

"I…" Carsten paled, then sighed. "Tell me that attraction isn't palpable."

He folded his arms. "What if it's not?" He couldn't help but lie because he wasn't ready to give in yet.

"That kiss meant nothing?" Carsten's eyes flashed.

He winced. Shit. He'd pushed too far and would feel the sting of Carsten's rotten nature again.

"Will?" Carsten curled his fingers under Will's chin. "Wait. I thought there was a spark. Thought you'd give me a chance. I blew it, didn't I?"

He measured his words carefully. "You've blown it for a long time."

Carsten nodded, then hooked his fingers into Will's front pocket. He said nothing and tugged Will into a dressing room.

"Where is everyone else?" Will tensed as the silence enveloped him. "Carsten?"

"I have a lifetime to make up for the shit I've done and I want to do it right now." He dropped to his knees before Will. "Let me prove I'm not the same man."

"Carsten?" He swore the world spun as he gazed down at Carsten. This man, the one who'd bullied him so many times in school, was on his knees before him.

Carsten fumbled with the buckle on Will's belt, then popped the button on his jeans. He fixed his gaze on Will's as he tugged the zipper. When he licked his lips, Will groaned.

"Gonna make you fly." Carsten pushed the front of Will's boxers down, exposing his cock and balls. "My God. The quiet ones are always packing."

His cheeks flamed and he moaned. "Carsten." This wasn't happening, yet he didn't want to miss a moment. He threaded his fingers into Carsten's hair. "If you're going to do this, kiss me first." He needed to feel that kiss again.

Carsten managed to stand and slipped his arms around Will. "My pleasure." He snagged Will's mouth in a kiss and stole his breath at the same time.

Will wanted to fight this. Wanted to fight and not melt into him, but damn. This kiss was everything he'd ever dreamed a kiss could be—sexy, hot, craving, and full of passion. He sucked on Carsten's tongue, learning his taste and the scent of him. He opened his eyes to memorize every detail of the moment.

Carsten whimpered and shoved his hands under the hem of Will's shirt. With one hand he caressed Will's back and with the other he toyed with Will's nipple.

Christ in Heaven. Will wouldn't be able to handle this. No way. He'd combust first. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that this person had teased him and been terrible toward him, but now teased him in a great way, making him want more.

He wrenched his mouth away and panted. "Carsten." He couldn't think straight.

"Like that?" Carsten tweaked Will's nipple. "I crave you."

He nodded, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"I need more of you." Carsten sank to his knees again, then cupped Will's balls in one hand. He wrapped his free hand around Will's shaft before smearing the pre-cum on the blunt head of Will's erection on his mouth.

Seeing Carsten on his knees with his lips shiny from pre-cum was just about the sexiest thing Will had ever seen. Will embraced the power in his veins, knowing he was making Carsten happy, and threaded his fingers into Carsten's hair again. He groaned as he rocked his hips.

"Yes." Carsten sucked him into his mouth and met Will's gaze. Pink infused his cheeks and fire lit in his eyes. He bobbed his head with abandon, taking him deep before nearly withdrawing. Within minutes, he worked into a steady rhythm and the passion in his eyes increased.

Will kept his fingers in Carsten's hair, allowing Carsten to set the pace, but also fully joining in on the fun. He panted and widened his stance a bit. The sensations running through his body were more than he could handle. Blood coursed through his veins and the tingles settled in his dick. He wanted to strip naked and allow Carsten to have his way with him.

A ragged cry stuck in his throat. He couldn't breathe.

Carsten increased the ferocity of his bobbing, then raked his teeth along Will's shaft. He buried his nose in Will's short curls before pulling back and withdrawing long enough to suck on Will's balls.

"Jesus." Will bit back a moan. He'd never last. Not like this. He tugged lightly on Carsten's hair. "More."

Without a word, Carsten resumed sucking on Will's shaft. This time, he moved with more gusto and hummed.

The sound, compared with the heat in his veins and the desire coursing through his body, overwhelmed him. Will cried out. "Fuck, Carsten." He bowed his head and closed his eyes. He needed the second to think and keep himself in check.

Why the fuck was he trying to hold back the orgasm?

He wanted the moment to last.Why?He might not get another.

Carsten pulled back again. "Let go for me, Will. Come apart."

He hadn't needed much encouragement, but Carsten's words sent him right to the edge. Holding back wasn't going to happen. He cried out again and rammed his dick into Carsten's mouth. The way Carsten curled his tongue around his shaft pushed Will the last bit over the edge. Will trembled as he embraced the orgasm and came down Carsten's throat.

The world seemed to move around him, but his little corner went at a snail's pace. His head swam as he opened his eyes. He gazed down at Carsten. If anyone would've told him his life would change this much and he'd reconnect in a good way with Carsten, he'd have laughed. He wobbled as Carsten licked him clean. Carsten withdrew again, but this time he helped Will to one of the overstuffed chairs.

Will sank into the plush material and stared at Carsten. "Wow."

"Yeah?" Carsten winked. "That's only the beginning."

Holy shit. If that was the beginning, then he'd never survive the middle and end.

Who needed survival anyway?

****

Carsten stayed between Will's knees with him as he came down from the orgasmic high. He loved that he was able to give Will this pleasure. It wasn't nearly enough to make up for the years of torment he'd given Will, but he'd gladly work to balance things out. Hell, he might even work for the rest of his life on it—if Will would let him.

"Carsten." Will scrubbed the back of his hand across his mouth. "You're due on stage soon."

"I've got another fifteen minutes." Carsten sat back on his heels. "The opening act is warming up the crowd."

"Oh." Will nodded and his lips remained parted a bit.

"I never thought you'd show up. I had hope, but I didn't believe you'd come through because I didn't think I deserved it." Carsten massaged Will's thighs. "I'm glad you're here."

"Uh-huh." Will sighed and blinked a few times. "I need to put my dick back before someone comes in here and catches us."

"They won't." If they did, he'd fire them. Carsten licked his lips. He loved the lingering taste of Will with him. "This is my time to center before the concert. Everyone leaves me alone."

"Oh." Will managed to tuck his cock behind his underwear and zip his jeans. "Good to know."

"It is." He stared at Will. "You're not used to doing things like that—being blown backstage at a concert."

"No." Will sat up a bit straighter and righted his shirt. "I'm not the kind of guy who has one-night stands, either."

"There's nothing wrong with that." He rather liked knowing Will was a relationship kind of guy. He could use the stability in his life.

"Are you a relationship guy?" Will asked. "We've gone a million miles an hour and haven't had a chance to really talk."

"No, I guess we haven't." He sat back on the floor and crossed his legs. "What do you want to know?"

Will toyed with the thick silver bracelet around his wrist. "What's your favorite color, favorite song … do you have other dreams than music? Do you want to fall in love? Do you regret what happened? I don't know."

"You do." He let the questions wash over him a moment. "My favorite color is black because it goes with everything and I have yet to see a man who doesn't look good in black. My favorite song is ‘Rhapsody in Blue.' I know, it's nothing like what I'd normally listen to or play, but it's a beautiful song and I love the way it swells and ebbs. Brings a tear to my eye. I bet you wouldn't have expected that."

A wistful look filled Will's eyes. A half-smile curled at the corner of his mouth. "No, I didn't. You're much more than I ever thought you'd be."

"So are you," Carsten said. "To answer the rest of your questions, I do regret what I did and how I conducted myself. I wish I'd have come out earlier and been true to myself. I also wish I'd have told you I liked you, rather than treating you like shit. As for falling in love, I have but he had no idea. I never had the guts to tell him."

"That's sad, but sweet. I bet if he knew, he'd be honored."

"Because of my position?"

"Because you're more than you give yourself credit for and it has nothing to do with your celebrity." Will scooted forward in the chair and offered his hand. "Who is he? We should get you connected with him."

"You'd never believe me if I told you." His heart hammered. Will wanted him to be honest. Doing so would be the biggest gamble of his life. He'd fallen in love with Will back in school and never forgot the attraction. Seeing him now proved those feelings hadn't died. They'd grown stronger with time.

"I bet I can guess. Someone from your previous band?"

"You knew I had a new band?"

"I might have done some research on you when I was working on the poster art." Will half-shrugged. "So, someone from your band? Nelson?"

"No." He hadn't been attracted to his drummer. "I don't mind tattoos, but I don't want to kiss a smoker."

"Oh." Will nodded slightly. "Klay?"

He shook his head. "He's married and has three kids. He's devoted to his wife and I believe they're trying for a fourth kid." Besides, he wasn't interested in a fiddler.

"Huh." Will sank back in his seat and frowned. "Someone from school? Or someone you dated while you were in the closet?"

"Both." He didn't want to make Will guess for much longer, but Will seemed to be having so much fun.

Will narrowed his eyes and crinkled the corner of his mouth. "Whoever he is, then, he's a lucky man."

"Why do you say that?" He wanted full honesty again. He'd already made up his mind, but he still wanted to hear the words.

"Even after a few hours, I can tell you've changed. You know what you did in the past wasn't the best and you're trying to make up for it. That's huge. It's also huge because you're wearing your heart on your sleeve. I admire that," Will said. "That's why whoever is with you and whoever is the object of your affection is lucky."

"You're observant." But he'd always known that about Will. Will might have acted the part of the social butterfly, but he had a keen sense of observation and a tender heart.

"I call them how I see them." Will leaned forward again. "You've made strides since we were in school—expected, since that's ten years ago."

"Over."

"Over," Will repeated. He grinned. "Who is it? Who is this lucky man? I want to know who to avoid."

"Why?" He didn't want to put any more space between him and Will.

"You just gave me head. Once this guy finds out you're interested, he's not going to want to share you with anyone and I don't want him to get the wrong idea. You're not in love with me. He's the one you want. I'm just a hot time backstage."

"You're never just anything," Carsten said. "Not when you're the one I fell in love with. Yeah, you." Let him chew on that.