Chapter Three

Will swore his heart dropped to his toes. He hadn't meant to say "fuck me." Hell, he hadn't planned on agreeing to Carsten's suggestion they get together. Carsten hated him, had treated him like shit for years. Now he wanted to have a relationship? Even if only for one night? It had to be a trick.Had to.

Men like Carsten weren't attracted to men like him. It wasn't done. That happy ending didn't come true.

"You have a concert tonight. You can't let those fans down," Will said. There. He'd given Carsten a reason why the one-night thing wouldn't work. It had to be enough.

"Except there's plenty of evening after the concert. What do you think I do when I leave the stage? Stay there all night?" Carsten continued to stand over him. "I don't have a guy in every town, if that's what you're implying."

"I wasn't at all." He hadn't even considered it.

"I didn't plan this concert just to play at this college. I did it to see you." Carsten leaned into him again and pressed another kiss to Will's lips. "I knew you'd be the one doing the art. I requested you personally. Marissa begged me to pick someone else because she said you weren't thrilled about my request, but I insisted. I can be very persuasive."

"So can she." To the point of driving him to the brink. "She's protective, too. She doesn't like to see me upset. She saw what happened when Stan and I split and I'm guessing she doesn't want to see it again, so she's extra protective."

"I know, but her persistence didn't pay off. Mine did because I'm here with you." Carsten bobbed his eyebrows, then his smile fell. "Stan?"

He didn't want to hash this out right now, but he doubted Carsten would let the topic drop. "Stan was my boyfriend. We lived together for a while and he decided he wanted more from life than I could give him. He moved out about a year ago."

"What more could he want?" Carsten stood, then grabbed the chair in front of Will's desk. "You're a catch. A professor, you've got your own place, your own car … what's there not to like?"

"I have a cat, for one. He hated cats. Monet is a sweet cat and gets along with everyone."

"Except Stan."

"Yeah."

Carsten nodded. "The cat has a sixth sense about people."

"I guess so." He relaxed a bit. "Stan kept trying to convince me to rehome Monet. I refused and that led to us splitting."

"Had to be more than that." Carsten reclined a bit in the chair and propped his left ankle on his right knee. He folded his hands on his flat stomach. If Will didn't know better, Carsten looked right at home—like he'd been in the office a thousand times.

"I got promoted to the chair of the graphic arts department, but he thought I should be the dean. I don't want to be the dean. I want to work with students." Will raked his fingers through his hair. "There's something to be said about collaborating with other artists. I like that so much more than being behind a desk."

"Makes sense," Carsten said. "I looked up your one man show, too. You're good. Your graphic works are fantastic. That's what made me want to work with you."

He had to believe Carsten, even if the whole situation seemed far-fetched. "Why didn't you just tell me you were hurting back in school? Why treat me like shit?"

Carsten sighed and re-laced his fingers together. "I was ashamed and I just wanted you to notice me."

"How could I not?" Will hated the way he felt. The more Carsten talked, the more he softened toward him. It wasn't fair. Part of him even considered taking Carsten up on his proposal. It might be fun to be with someone for the night. Might be hot.

"You were the most colorful," Carsten said. "I was jealous of you."

"You were?" It wasn't possible.

"I was. Once I came to terms with who I am, with what I did, and decided to make amends, I knew there was one person I had to see first. You. I've apologized to everyone else and done my damndest to fix things. You're the one I can't forget and the one I owe the most to."

"And you're convinced one night will do the fixing?" A big naive on Carsten's part, if he did say so.

"No, but it would prove to both of us that we should've given each other a chance back in the day. I believe it could work now, too." Carsten sat up and lowered his foot, but kept his hand folded. "If that kiss was any indication, you feel it, too."

"What if I do?" He'd almost said he did. God, he had to get a hold of himself. "You'll leave tomorrow. That's not the way I operate. I'm not a one-night-stand kind of guy."

"That's another reason Stan left, isn't it?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Carsten had cut too close to the bone for Will's comfort.

"I've known a few men like Stan and I've never actually met him. They want what they want for now, demand they get it, then when you can't deliver because it's either impossible or decidedly unfair, they jump ship. They want what they want and no one can make them happy." Carsten shook his head once. "For me, it was Kip."

"I'm sorry. Truly." He didn't wish the hell Stan had put him through on anyone.

"Kip met me after a show. I hadn't come out yet, but everyone around me knew. They weren't happy, but as long as I kept it quiet, they dealt. Kip wanted to be with me, for what I thought was me. Turned out he played the long game and was only hanging on because he thought I'd get him a recording contract. Hang around the concerts, meet people, show up on a record or two, get some credibility and parlay it into something for himself. It almost worked."

The wistfulness in Carsten's voice stuck in Will's mind. So did the story. "What happened?" He hated to admit Carsten had him riveted.

"I overheard him giving the same speech he'd given me the night we'd met."

"Who was he talking to?" He rested his chin on his hand. The last time he'd been able to simply talk to someone like this and forge a … was this a friendship? It sure felt like the start of friendship.

"Howland Moore, the guy currently at the top of the country music charts."

He'd heard of him. He wasn't familiar with the artist's music, but he'd heard the name. "Okay?"

"He couldn't get me to do what he wanted, so he got Howland to do it for him. Howland doesn't seem to care that he's being used. He'll probably toss Kip aside in a month. That's how he works. Not me."

"No?" Will wished he could take the blurted question back as soon as he asked it.

"I have that coming. I've been a dick in the past and I'll work for the rest of my life to make up for it," Carsten said. "He wanted to use me and when I didn't let him, he moved on. I'm glad he's out of my life, but I'm not glad I got my heart broken. I actually liked him."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I." Carsten stared at him. "But the situation taught me to be more observant. I realized just how much of a dick I'd been and it was a turning point. I didn't want to be the man I'd been for the last almost thirty years. I wanted to be better. Someone people could look up to. Someone a man wanted to love. Someone I could respect."

"You are." He was as a musician and a man.

"I'm trying." Carsten didn't speak, but instead seemed to appraise him. His eyes shimmered and a slight smile pulled at his lips.

Something had changed between him and Carsten. He wasn't sure what, but things were different.

"What do you say? Are you interested in giving me a chance?" Carsten asked. "At least for one night? You're convinced I'm the same dick I was before and I would love the chance to welcome you into my world, to show you I've changed and to give that spark I know is burning between us a chance to blossom."

He hesitated. He wanted to believe Carsten would respect him, but he'd been burned. Did Carsten deserve the chance to prove himself?

Didn't everyone?

"Well?" Carsten asked. "What do you say?"

He had to answer. Had to make up his mind. Go with his gut and push Carsten away, or give in to the simmering passion and give him a chance? It was time to do something for himself. "Yes."

Carsten snorted. Will would have to make him wait. Nothing would be easy with him. But that was okay because he'd wait for someone that special. He'd waited this long. A few more minutes hadn't killed him. Now he had the chance to have a night with Will.

He'd dreamed of this moment for so long. Dreamed of the chance to touch him, to caress him and find out if the passion was something that could last.

He pulled the backstage pass from his pocket and offered the card to Will. "Put this on and wear it wherever you want around the arena. If anyone questions you, show the pass and they'll let you through. Promise. If anyone has a problem with it, then ask for Leroy and he'll fix it."

"I don't need a fixer," Will said. "I don't have to have special access."

"I would like you to join me during the warm-ups and after the show. The only way you'll get back, other than the ridiculous stickers the radio stations pass out, is to have the pass." Being a semi-public figure was a pain in the ass sometimes.

"Oh." Will accepted the plastic card on the lanyard. "You're really famous, aren't you?"

"I had four number one songs and a number one record." He hadn't believed he was famous. Just a guy who got lucky and could make music for a living. "I would love it if you'd come to the concert and see what I do. You've made me look damn good in that poster. Now give me the chance to show you I'm not the confused young man you remember."

Will exhaled. "I have appointments with students today, but I'll keep it in mind." He toyed with the pass. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, but I should be thanking you. If I had my way, I'd have you do all my promotional art. You're fantastic."

"You don't have to butter me up." A smile flashed across Will's face. "You've got sound checks, don't you?"

"You know the lingo?" And his schedule? Interesting.

"I've gone to some of the concerts and a few of the professors here in the art department have a band, so I know they have to do sound checks. On a much smaller scale, I'm sure." Will finally smiled. "And I might have looked at your schedule in the information Marissa gave me so I knew when and where to avoid you."

"Do you still want to avoid me?" Based on that kiss, he'd bet not.

"No," Will said. "I'm still wary, but not totally willing to avoid."

"I'll take it." He'd been given an inch—more than he deserved. "I'll see you later?"

"I'll think about it."

"I'd like it if you did." He winked, then forced himself from Will's office. The place had more of Will's personality than he'd expected. The splashes of color, the eccentric lamp with the multicolored glass shade, the thick rug and books all over the place. He knew Will loved to read, but the things he hadn't expected in the small office were the three laptops and the drawing board with the male nude displayed on it. Sexy man, no less, but it made conversation hard. Thinking about Will made him hard, too. He wanted to run his hands over Will's thin body and learn the planes and nuances of him.

He'd been a fool to treat Will so poorly in the past. Will would've been an asset. Hell, they might even have gotten together and could even still be a couple all these years later.Damn.Realizing that made him want Will even more. Made him want to forge the relationship even more, too.He'd get his chance. He just knew it.

Carsten tugged his hat down and ducked as he left the art building. He doubted anyone would really recognize him on campus. According to the schedule plastered on the fan pages, he should be chilling out in his bus right now, not roaming free. He'd planted the news to allow him time to seek out Will. Sometimes, he appreciated his savvy with social media.

"You're him." A young woman rushed up to him. "I know you are. You're here early."

He stopped short. "Hi."

She fumbled in her backpack, then retrieved a pen and piece of paper. "I'd ask for a selfie with you, but you don't do them." She thrust the implements at him. "For Stephy."

"Sure." He scribbled his name onto the paper, then added the words To Steph. "Spell it."

"Oh." She shrugged. "S-T-E-P-H-Y."

"Thanks." He added the Y, then with love . "There you go." He offered the pen and paper to her. "Will you be at the concert tonight?"

"Wouldn't miss it." She stuffed the items into her bag. "I love the comedy show."

"Comedy?" He liked to joke with the band, but it wasn't a comedy show.

"Oh, yeah. The trainwreck that's your career. You tanked it when you came out." She shrugged again. "You know no one's coming to hear the music. They're coming to see what you'll do."

"Play music." He nodded to her and winked. "I'm glad you'll be there. See you at the concert." He walked off at a brisk pace. He wasn't in the mood to deal with another fan tonight.

Once he reached the venue, he ducked in one of the back doors, then made his way to the stage. The band was already there and setting up. Dorian, the soundman, rapped his knuckles on the stage.

"Are we about ready? I know you just got here, but we have everything set up for you." Dorian flattened his hand. "Should be plug and play, but we need to do the checks."

"You bet." He picked up his favorite guitar and ran through his finger exercises. He loved playing and hadn't done the exercises in so long. Stretching his abilities this way pleased him. He'd rather have Will there watching, but he couldn't be sure Will would show up.

"Great." Dorian hurried back to the soundboard.

Within half an hour, Carsten had limbered up and Dorian had his levels. Carsten jammed with the band for another few minutes, running through some of the songs on the playlist. It'd been so long since he'd played simply for fun, not to pay the bills. He loved the thrill of making music. Songs filled his head and some weren't even from the playlist. A new tune added to the mix. He hadn't heard this one before. He'd have to write it down when he got the chance.

He finished the jam session, then left his guitar on the stand. "Nathan?"

His slide guitar player glanced over his shoulder. "What's happening?"

"Someone knew we were here." He sank onto the stool next to Nathan. "She said she was coming to watch the comedy act."

"Goddamn." Nathan folded his arms. "That's harsh."

"Is she right?" He didn't want to think so.

"She's not, but she was trying to get a response out of you. The papers want dirt on you. The word got out that you're looking for the guy you went to school with and you're expecting to meet him here. They want to see you get a happy ending. She probably wanted to tip them off."

"You could be right." He hadn't thought of that.

"It might have gotten out that you treated that guy like shit in the past and you're trying to make amends, too." Nathan moved the guitar aside. "Are you really tying to make up for what you did?"

"I am." He might as well be honest. If the word was out, then it was. "I used to tease him pretty good when we were teenagers. I thought it would make him like me if I made fun of him. It was stupid and stereotypical and I wish I hadn't done it. I was miserable back then. My parents hated me for being gay, I didn't like my life and I wanted someone to hurt, too."

"That's deep and rough." Nathan stood. He covered the guitar with a sheet, preparing for the show. "Is he even open to the idea of forgiving you?"

"Kind of?" He wasn't sure if Will had forgiven him. "We're talking at least."

"That's something." Nathan narrowed his eyes. "Did you invite him to the concert?"

"I did."

"That's romantic." Nathan grinned, then laughed and the sound echoed through the room. "I knew you could be. After Amber and that farce of an engagement you tried to have, I knew you could really be romantic and it sure looks like he means a lot to you. I hope he understands that and is open to giving you a chance."

"It would be nice, but I'm not banking on it." He knew better than to bet on something that wasn't guaranteed.

"If he shows up, I want you to point him out to me. I bet he's handsome," Nathan said. "He must be something special."

"He is." He considered his friend a moment. "You're not upset that I'm gay? The rest of the original band hated it."

"They wanted to get paid and they thought you'd tank." Nathan stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I never cared either way because I know you're damn good on the mic and on the guitar. You hold your own and that's what matters. You're captivating on stage and your sexuality shouldn't make a difference. As long as you can entertain and bring in the crowds—which you can because tonight is sold out—then that's what matters. I want to play with someone who wants to play. You."

"Thanks, Nate." He appreciated his bandmate's honesty. "I wish I'd have known the truth."

"That's why we had to find the new band members. Your reputation wasn't as trashed as you think and the gang wanted to play on this tour."

"But that's why no one was honest with me, isn't it?" Carsten asked. "I thought they jumped ship because my sales were tanking and my reputation was in the toilet."

"Sadly, it's true for those guys, but not these. Look, I knew you were gay all along, Car. You've got to be true to yourself. The band is behind you and I'm on your side. We've got this." Nathan clapped him on the shoulder. "And if this guy is any kind of gentleman and he sees you for who you are now, then he's a fool if he doesn't snap you up."

He laughed and the tension left his body. "He is, and thank you."

"Let's get dressed for the show and grab something to eat. Before we know it, it'll be showtime." Nathan walked with him from the stage. "You've got to shine like a fucking diamond tonight."

"Damn right." He wanted to knock Will's socks off, pour his heart out with every song, and show his former rival that they were meant to be together all along. Not impossible, but quite the long shot.

Good thing he liked his odds.