Chapter Six

Will kissed Carsten, not wanting to miss a second. His balls were heavy and he needed release. When he nibbled on Carsten's bottom lip, desire filled his being. He pushed Carsten's shirt up, but Carsten stilled his hands.

"Want to see you." Carsten fumbled with the buttons on Will's shirt and caressed Will's chest. Within seconds, he helped Will out of the garment. "You're beautiful." He kissed along the planes of Will's chest and collarbone.

Will groaned. He'd never expected to hear such words from Carsten or to be in this moment, but he wouldn't trade it for anything. The second Carsten licked his nipple, his senses turned inside out.

Carsten tugged the button on Will's jeans. "Need to see you naked."

He wasn't about to argue with him. He propped himself on his hands and lifted himself up enough for Carsten to help him out of his jeans and underwear. Once he settled back on the counter, naked, Will shoved Carsten's overshirt off his shoulders.

He loved being naked for Carsten. A shiver ran along his spine. Being this way freed him.

"You have a tattoo?" Carsten grinned. "Since when?"

"Ten years ago." He'd forgotten all about the ink. "I wanted to look tough, but it doesn't look all that menacing." He tamped down his embarrassment. At the time, he thought the heart with numbers looked dangerous. Not so much now.

"Whoever said it wasn't tough is a dick. It's perfect." Carsten trailed his fingers over the ink high on Will's thigh. "What do the numbers mean?"

"The date I came out." It was personal and close to his heart because he'd been true to himself.

"Beautiful."

"Carsten?" He hadn't expected to hear such things from him. Things were happening almost too perfectly. "I want to taste you."

"Later." Carsten resumed licking a path of fire along Will's chest. He gave special attention to Will's nipples, then down to his navel. At the same time, he stroked Will's shaft.

A strangled cry vibrated in his throat. "Feels so good."

"It'll get even better." Carsten shoved his pants to his ankles. He managed to kick out of his boots and wadded-up clothing to stand in his full naked glory before Will.

Will propped himself on his elbows and drank in the view before him. He loved Carsten's hard body, lean but muscled. God, he was strong. Carsten's upper arms were decorated in a collection of tattoos and had a sunburst tattooed around his navel. He had little body hair, but was fully erect.

Will's mouth watered. Carsten had girth and length … and if he knew how to use it, even better. "I need your cock."

"You can have it—after we find supplies."

Safety first, sure. He had to think straight. "In my bedroom." He wasn't like some men who had condoms and lube secreted all over his house. Hell, he hoped he still had supplies and hadn't run out being that he hadn't needed them in a while.

Carsten helped him off the counter, then chased him to the bedroom. When Will collided with the bed, Carsten collapsed on top of him. Will liked having the weight of Carsten on him.

"Where?" Carsten asked.

No finesse. Just desire. "Drawer." He tried to point in the right direction.

Carsten left him alone long enough to retrieve a condom and lube. When Carsten returned to the bed, Will rolled onto his back.

"Going to fuck me?" Will asked. He drew his knees to his chest in a silent invitation. "Please?"

"If I knew we'd get together and have so much fun, I'd have lost my fears back when we were in school." Carsten squirted lube onto his fingers and caressed Will's hole. He toyed and teased him, running the tip of his finger over the puckered skin. "I lost my nerve so many times, but I wanted to tell you all along that I craved you. Wanted to feel your hot body beneath mine, you riding me. I wanted to look into your eyes and feel like I'd come home."

Carsten's words struck a chord within him. They'd be his undoing. He relaxed as Carsten breached him.

"So tight." Carsten moaned. "I love it." He pumped his finger, pushing in and pulling out most of the way to prep Will.

So did he. Will rocked his hips, pulling more of Carsten into him. Being so vulnerable and having his mind so wide open pleased him. It was freedom, really. He could have everything he ever wanted.

What did he want?

Sex.

Not with anyone.

With Carsten.

Words filled his mind. Memories of the concert and the song Carsten sang played on a loop. The ice around his heart melted. He'd never really fallen out of love with Carsten, but this wasn't surface love. This wasn't teenage fantasy love, either. This was stronger. He'd need time to fully foment the love, but the start was there.

"Practically keeping me inside." Carsten kissed Will's right shin. "So fucking good. Better than I imagined."

"We haven't fucked yet." He knew damn well this could get so much better. He needed it.

"I know," Carsten said, his voice husky. "We will."

Will shivered and groaned. Goddamn. He couldn't wait for everything Carsten had to give.

He was ready.

****

Carsten panted. He loved the enthusiasm in Will's voice and also loved the way Will felt. Nothing was truly perfect—there were rough edges and scars on everyone—but he'd found someone who could accept him, imperfections and all. Will was that man.

Carsten withdrew his fingers and tore open the condom wrapper with his teeth.

"You'll kill your teeth that way." Will's eyes glittered.

"I know." He couldn't wait to be inside Will. He sheathed himself in seconds, then added more lube. "Ready?" he asked as he stroked himself.

"Born ready." Will exhaled and met Carsten's gaze. Light and hunger filled his eyes. He parted his lips.

"Good." He pressed the head of his dick against Will's hole. Excitement thundered through his veins. Desire overwhelmed him. The sizzle between him and Will was undeniable. He pushed slowly into Will. He'd dreamed of this moment for years. Unlike his dreams, reality was better than his imagination. He wasn't thrilled he'd waited for so long because he could've been loving Will all this time and had him in his life, but at least he'd finally made a move.

This was happening.

Will tensed as Carsten completely filled him. He shivered. "Oh, God."

"Yes?" Carsten began to thrust.

"Yes." Another groan vibrated in Will.

"Fuck." Carsten moved his hips, shoving to the hilt before pulling nearly all the way out. He built a steady rhythm. He leaned over Will and pressed his face to Will's neck, breathing him in. The healing in the act of making love filled his mind. His heart was stronger and his soul renewed.

All because of Will.

Within seconds, Carsten lost himself in the cadence of fucking Will. The man was still tight. Still delicious. When he looked into Will's eyes, he saw forever. He also heard the song he'd sang to Will tonight playing in his mind. Will did own his heart. He and Will had a long journey ahead, but he couldn't imagine having anyone else beside him for the ride.He pumped his hips, fucking Will with abandon.

"Oh, God. Love it." Will arched his back a bit and met him thrust for thrust. His cock bobbed between his legs.

"Stroke yourself for me. Get off with me." He continued to piston into Will. He held onto his lover's leg as Will curled his fingers around his own dick.

Will shivered again. He watched Carsten from under heavy-lidded eyes and stroked faster. He whimpered and the sound pleased Carsten.

Watching Will and knowing this had changed between them for the better, sent Carsten right to the edge. His thoughts centered around Will. He was at home and at peace with him. His mind at ease. Everything finally felt right.

"Fuck." Will dug his nails into his leg and tensed. "I need to come."

He continued to piston into Will. "Come with me." He didn't need much encouragement to climax. He was damn ready. "Do it."

Will said nothing. Instead, he cried out and yanked on his shaft. Cum spurted onto Carsten's chest in a hot streak.

Seeing and feeling Will come sent Carsten the last bit over the edge into oblivion. He surged into Will and remained there. This was where he wanted to be. He let go of Will's leg and sagged into him, smearing cum between them. He kissed Will, needing the extra closeness.

His soul was renewed and his past mattered, but it didn't define him.

He feathered kisses all over Will's face, making him chuckle.

Will threaded his arms around him. "You make this fun."

"What? Sex?"

"Second chances," Will replied.

Carsten let the words roll over him. That's exactly what he wanted. What he needed. The bully now ceased to exist. He'd been permitted to start over. "You redeemed my heart."

"For real?"

"For very real." He met Will's gaze. "Very."

A sad smile curled on Will's lips. "Good."

Not good. He wasn't done with Will at all. He pulled out and rolled onto the bed. Once he removed the condom and tossed the used rubber into the wastebasket, he turned over to face Will. "Why do you look so sad, handsome?"

"It's all over." Will's smile faded. "It is."

"What?"

"This. Us," Will said, choking out the words.

"No." Not a chance. He tucked Will to his chest. "Why would we be done?"

"Because you're a star and I'm a professor. I'm not leaving the college. I can't. It's the middle of the semester and you're in the midst of the tour. This is our one night and it's careening toward the end." Will blinked back tears. "When we were in school, I wanted two things—for you to leave me the hell alone so I could live my life, but also for you to see how much I secretly liked you. I wanted you to tell me you liked me as well. Now I know you did and I'll have to live with you leaving."

He laced his fingers with Will's and kissed his knuckles. "Slow down."

Will whimpered but didn't pull away.

"I wouldn't expect you to dump your life here at Northern. It's important and you're good at what you do. I admire your work and art. I also like you very much. I fell in love with you years ago and being with you tonight solidified those feelings. I want to make you proud."

"You do?"

"I do," he said. "I have to confess, though, that the tour is on a temporary hiatus."

"Why?"

"It was already planned, but I need a rest. I've been on tour for three years straight and it's time I took a break for some me time. Plus, I have a reason to rest. I want to see where this can go—you and me."

"You're serious?" Will asked. He propped himself up on his elbow and spread his free hand across Carsten's chest. "Car?"

"I am." He'd never been more serious in his life. "I've been a dick to you for too long and now that I've had a taste of you, I'm hooked. I need more. If it takes the rest of my life to prove my heart is yours, then I'll do it."

"I know you will," Will said. "I doubted you back then, but not any longer."

"You're willing to give us a chance?" Hope blossomed in his heart. "Will?"

"I am. It's crazy and this is happening quickly. I shouldn't trust or give you this chance, because you've hurt me in the past, but I know you're not the same guy you were before. You're not a bad guy."

"Not with you." He'd be a bulldog for Will, though.

"You were hurt so much when you were younger and I can't even begin to understand how you felt. I hate what you did to me, but you're a product of your raising. Now you're in control of yourself."

"I am." He found strength in Will because he was a good balance for him. An inspiration. "I'll need a place to stay. Might be nice to be close to campus, too. I'd like to take a class or audit them or whatever it's called." He'd never gone to college and wanted the chance to try it.

"Oh? You'd audit a class?"

"I would," he said. "And be close."

"To what?"

"You."

Will beamed. "You could probably teach some music classes."

He'd never considered that, but it sounded like a great idea. Teaching songwriting would be a good stretch for him. "I'd love that, but I need a suggestion as to where to live. I've called the bus my home for the last three years."

"I have a guest room," Will replied. "It's a start."

"Sure is." Close to Will, too. He wanted to move in right now.

"If you're planning on sticking around, you should get comfortable and sleep. I'm not going anywhere and you might want to get a feel for the area," Will said. He settled next to Carsten. "Life is funny, isn't it?"

"It is." Carsten snuggled up to him. He'd work out the living arrangement details later, but he had a direction and a plan for his future. He had a chance because he'd been redeemed.

Now he could move forward.

****

One Year Later

Carsten closed the notebook as the literature class concluded. He'd been at Northern University for two semesters and loved every second. He'd never thought he had what it took to be a teacher, but when he worked with the students in the music department in the songwriting classes, he found a purpose. He loved working with the students to hone their craft.

He even liked the classes on writing he'd audited because he'd learned so much.

The press hadn't hounded him and the students rarely did either. He could be himself and stretch. Hell, he couldn't imagine a better life.

He pushed the notebook into his satchel and allowed the day's discussion to percolate in his mind. He truly grasped why he'd been such a jerk in the past and why he needed to make up for it. Reading the stories of pain and redemption helped him, too.

"Are you going to sit there until the janitor sweeps you up?" Will asked. He sat beside Carsten. "I hear you're doing well in this class."

"I am." He draped the strap of the bag across his body. "What're you doing here?" He'd expected to see him at home for dinner.

He'd spent the last year getting to know Will all over again and falling deeper in love with him. He'd moved into the guest room, but quickly moved over to Will's bedroom. They'd created a homey life together. It was more than he could've believed he'd have.

Tonight, he needed to bare his soul to Will. It was time.

"I came here because you got a certified letter at the house." Will offered an envelope. "And the media is outside. They're trying to get in to see you."

"Why?" He hadn't done anything to warrant a certified letter. Hadn't been given a speeding ticket, caused trouble on or off campus or anything. He opened the letter and scanned the words. Shock ran through his system. "Well, shit. I've been nominated for a music award in the category of ‘best song.' Seems my song, ‘Redeem My Heart,' was used in a movie and gained the attention of the music business." He knew the song had been used, but he hadn't realized anyone had taken such notice of his ballad.

"Oh? That's the one you sang for me."

"I wrote it for you. The team recorded it the night I sang it to you and with their help, I put it out on an album. It was a single and did well, but I tried to play it cool with you because I worried the press would hound you." He'd followed every bit of the progress of the song after he'd released it and now after the movie version was used. The money had been nice, but he hadn't really wanted to share the song with anyone.

"Does your label expect you to tour with it now?" Will asked. "I won't hold you back. You should ride the wave."

"Will." He shifted in his seat to give Will his full attention. This was bigger than a song or an award.

"I won't hold you back."

He'd use that for a song, but not right now. "I know." He pushed his bag aside and held onto Will's hands. "I told you I toured for three years straight. Having this break is what I needed to reset my brain."

"But the song and your label…"

"Are my problems. The team recorded the song for me, but it's on my personal label. Why let a bunch of people have some control over my work when I could have most all of it and reap the biggest reward? I did the work and I'm benefitting."

"True." Will sagged in his seat. "I just thought you'd want to fly."

He'd have to use that line, too. "Before I found you, I might have taken off, but not now. If I decide to tour, it'll be our decision. We're a team." His heart thundered. He couldn't hold his secret in any longer. "Will?"

"Yeah?" Will tipped his head and said nothing else.

"I might be nominated for an award for our song and might get another bump in sales, which is all great, but it's not the thing I truly want."

"What do you truly want?" Will asked. He cleared his throat. "Tell me."

"You. Us. This life we've created. Will, I didn't come looking for you because I wanted to be cleansed. I did it because I wanted you. I'm still here because I want you. I like my life with you."

"But the fame…"

"I don't need it. I had the fame and it, along with my past, made me a monster. You make me better," Carsten said. "I love you."

Shit. He'd done it and said the words. No taking them back.

Will's eyes widened. "What?"

He and Will hadn't used those words—not since getting together. He hadn't wanted to rush this, but now was the right time. "I told you I fell for you back in school and this last year proved to me that the love has only grown stronger. I love you."

"I…" Will scrubbed the back of his hand across his mouth. He said nothing for a pregnant moment. Instead he opened and closed his mouth without sound.

"It'll take some getting used to, but it's the truth." Carsten leaned in and kissed him. "I'm the man I am because of you. Because of the changes I made to me. You're the reason—without you, the song wouldn't have happened." He loved Will big time.

"Carsten."

"It's okay. I didn't expect you to say it in return. It'll take time."

"No, Car. I love you, too. Always have." Will scooted closer to Carsten and threaded his arms around Carsten's shoulders. "I'm thrilled and stunned, but relieved. I'm whole with you, too."

"I bet you never thought you'd fall in love with your bully, did you?" Carsten asked. "Never imagined we'd be here."

"Honestly, I had a feeling we'd find our way to each other. Do or die kind of thing. We needed closure and to admit the truth and we did, because redemption goes both ways," Will said.

"It does." The man was so wise.

"I didn't know when or where, but I knew we'd see each other again. I knew I loved you, even if I hated you back then. Always will love you."

Those were the best words he'd ever heard. "So we love each other and we live together. You inspire my music, too. Think you'll come with me to this award ceremony? I might not win, but I'd love to have some sexy arm candy with me." He wasn't sure he could go through with it alone. "I don't do insta-official, but I will if that's what you want."

"You don't have to do anything special for me," Will said. "I'll follow you anywhere, so yes."

Desire deeper than Carsten had never known filled his heart. He found his soul and his love in Will.

He found his redemption, and it was so sweet.

The End