16. Chapter 16

It takes a moment for my brain to reboot. I can practically hear the whir of it coming back online, and then Teddy's words register.

"But…" I say slowly. "I thought…"

"It's not a punishment, sweetheart," Teddy says, seemingly understanding my confusion. "Not in the least. Why would I punish you? You're perfect. My perfect, beautiful doll."

My chest warms, a bright pulse of light, even as my brain struggles to catch up.

Teddy pulls my shirt from my pants and opens the last button. "It's to help you relax. If you don't like it, we'll stop. I promise."

I have no doubt of that. The idea of Teddy forcing me to do anything I don't want is laughable. "But you think I'll like it," I say.

Teddy nods, sliding my shirt down my arms, his fingertips leaving goosebumps in their wake. "You will," he says, utterly confident.

"Why, um… Why do I need a safeword? We haven't done that before."

Teddy nods once before crouching. He unbuttons and unzips my pants, tapping my hip until I rise up enough for him to tug the material down. "If you ever say no or stop, I will stop. I need you to trust that."

"I do." Not even a question.

He slips off my socks one at a time, the act far more sensual than it has any right to be. "But sometimes," he says, kissing the inside of my knee, "it might be difficult for you to vocalize if you're feeling too overwhelmed to continue. You might not want to disappoint me. And Kipp, you won't ever disappoint me. Okay? Not ever. Even if you tell me no."

I swallow, nodding, the use of my real name making me feel like Teddy means outside of sex, too. Like, somehow, he's saying I could never disappoint him.

He watches me for a moment, and then he kisses my other knee. "But a safeword might be easier for you to say. It doesn't sound like stop, but it means the same thing. Could you pick one for me?"

"Bananas."

He huffs a laugh, his breath ghosting over my thigh.

I chuckle with him. "I hate them," I explain, stomach tightening when Teddy drags his fingers to the band of my briefs. "You won't hear me uttering that word unless it means no goddamn thank you."

"Bananas it is," he says. "Lift, doll."

I lift my hips, and Teddy pulls off my briefs. He hums as his eyes take me in, and a wicked smirk graces his lips. He stands and steps away, and I watch, stomach doing flips as he goes to the nightstand. He drops a condom, lube, and…a butt plug on the bed.

"First," he says calmly, walking back around to where I'm sitting, "I'm going to play with you. Because you're mine. Mine to play with. Mine to pleasure. Isn't that right?"

Fuck yes.

I clear my throat. "Yes."

"That's right, babydoll," he says, tugging my head to the side, the wide grip in my hair not hurting in the least. My pulse thunders. "You are mine. Mine to take care of. Mine to enjoy. Which means all you need to do is listen and be good for me. Think you can do that?"

Fuck. "Yes. I can do that."

"Good." Teddy guides my head back around, and, without hesitation, he crashes his lips into mine. The kiss is consuming—hungry—and I whimper into it, my mind already spiraling away. "I want to own you." That's what he said.

I want that, too. I want to be his.

When Teddy lets me go, I nearly protest. But then his hand is landing flat on my chest, and he's shoving me onto my back. I haven't finished bouncing when Teddy drops to the floor between my legs. He tugs me forward until my ass is at the edge of the mattress, my knees spread wide to accommodate his bulk. I swallow heavily as his brown eyes meet mine.

"Now," he says coolly, "be a good doll for me and lie still. And once I'm done tasting you, I'll let you wear my handprint on your ass."

Oh…"Fuck," I shout as Teddy's tongue drags over my rim. He spreads my cheeks wide, that wet heat coming back in for another round. My back bows up, an unintelligible sound leaving my lips.

Rimming. Fucking rimming. It's my damn kryptonite.

Teddy grips me harder. "Still, doll."

Christ, I'm trying, but holy fuck. That tongue, soothing and prodding. That beard against my skin. It's too good. Way too good.

Teddy circles my dick, his hand squeezing tight. "Do you want my cock?"

"Yes," I groan out. Fuck, yes. Please. God.

"Then be still, babydoll, and let me get you ready with my tongue."

Fu-u-uck.

Teddy lets go of my cock, his thumbs pressing the insides of my thighs wider. He buries his face in my ass, licking me relentlessly, and holy hell, I try to be still, I really do, but my cock is twitching, my hips have a mind of their own, and I can't stop wriggling. Thank fuck he doesn't stop, but he does give my thigh a stinging slap that has my mind blanking with an oh. I go boneless a second later.

"There you go," he soothes, his hands trailing over my skin, his tongue lapping at me broadly. "Fucking gorgeous. Look at you spread out like the good doll you are."

Oh God.

Teddy kisses my asshole—kisses it with closed lips in a way that has me blushing and fighting the urge to writhe. And then wet fingers press against me.

"Fuck," I breathe. When did he even open the lube? The man's a master multi— "Ahhh."

Blunt fingers slide in, opening me up with an effortless glide. He curls them upwards. "Do you know why I'm going to plug you?" he asks.

I'd forgotten about that. I shake my head. Lick my lips. "No."

"Because…" He fucks his fingers in and out slowly as my legs tremble. "When my hand is hitting your ass, that plug will be kissing your prostate."

Oh, shit.

"It'll feel good, sweetheart. I promise. It'll sting until it doesn't, and you won't be able to think about anything else. But that," he says, removing his fingers, "is why you're going to love it."

I don't understand, not entirely, but I trust him. If it's too much, he'll stop. I know he will.

Teddy asked me once if I was getting what I needed from my past relationships. And the answer was no. I wasn't.

I want to know what's been missing.

"Show me?" I breathe.

"Oh, babydoll." The tip of the plug presses against me, and Teddy pushes. "It would be my genuine pleasure."

I breathe out as the plug settles inside my ass. It's no bigger than his fingers, but it's big enough to feel. The base is flared, keeping it in position as Teddy rises up off the floor. The look in his eyes has my entire body flushing hot, my cock throbbing.

ThisTeddy… This is the one who hides under the surface. It's the one with whip-sharp eyes and a cocky presence that makes it impossible to look away. It's the one who makes me feel as if I'm being hunted.

Is it too much to hope I'm his only prey?

Teddy climbs onto the bed and leans in to kiss me again, his hands in my hair, his presence big and safe and warm as he blankets me. When he pulls back, he catches my gaze. "Remember what I told you I like? What it is I want?"

It takes me a moment to figure out what he means. "You want to make me feel good."

"That's right, sweetheart. And I'm going to do that, okay?"

I nod, and with one final press of his lips to mine, Teddy tugs me upright. He maneuvers me without a word, his hands on me soft even as he flips me around as if I'm weightless. He settles me over his lap, and I have only a second to wonder why the fuck I like that so much when Teddy's palm smooths over my ass.

"You're beautiful, doll. Gorgeous, through and through. Your smile, your eyes, this silky soft hair."

His fingers thread into my hair as if to make his point. It's like a goddamn tension release button, and my muscles go lax as he tugs at the strands in a soothing manner.

"Utter perfection. You can come anytime. Okay?"

Come? While he's spanking me?

I don't have a chance to think on it before a loud thwack echoes throughout the air. It's like lightning before the thunder. Sharp and shocking and—

Oh, fuck. Holy fuck.

"Teddy?" I question. He wasn't kidding. That stings like a motherfucker, the ache of it spreading out like brushfire.

"I know, babydoll," he soothes. "Just try to relax."

Yeah, like those words ever work.

He slaps me again.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I mutter, my hips hitching up in the aftermath, my cock rubbing against his leg. "Jesus."

"Give it a minute, sweetheart," Teddy says, his hand caressing my ass cheek. "I promise it'll get better. I'm going to ease up now, but I won't stop this time. You remember your safeword?"

Fucking bananas."Yep," I grit out. What did I tell Teddy? That I'd be the best sub he ever had? I'm starting to wonder at my commitment.

But then Teddy's fingers in my hair tug, a reminder that he's here, that he's got me, and I drop my cheek to the bed, closing my eyes and choosing to trust. It's just a little spanking, right? I can take that like a goddamn man.

As soon as I'm relaxed, there's another thwack against my ass. Teddy doesn't slow this time. He does another. And another, almost too fast for me to keep track of. It is gentler, but that doesn't seem to matter because the sting is everywhere. On my ass, my thighs, my cock, my balls, even. Without being aware of what I'm doing, I find myself grinding against Teddy's lap, trying to relieve the ache or ease the pressure or—I don't even know. When the next slap jostles the plug, I cry out, only to…

"Fuuuck," I groan, rubbing harder against Teddy's leg.

"There you go," Teddy coos. "Let yourself fall into it. My beautiful doll. Look at you."

"I…" Words.

Teddy smacks me again, and I moan. I moan. The ache blooms outward from the point of impact, radiating over my ass, inside my ass, to my stomach and cock like a wave of pleasured pain. I think… Fuck, I think I like it.

He slaps my ass again and again, all the while telling me how perfect I am. Praising me. Calling me beautiful. Telling me how gorgeous his handprint is on my skin. My fingers tangle in the bedsheets near my head, my entire body on fire, my soul caught in the flames. I start craving the hits. The way the plug jostles. That burn that licks over my skin. The way my cock throbs every time Teddy's palm greets my ass, as if the sensation is being shot up through my shaft. It's messed up, isn't it? Why the hell does it feel so good?

I don't know, don't even care. I lose track of everything except Teddy's hand. I stop flinching. Stop bracing. Every single hit is euphoric. A shot of pure bliss in my veins. I feel like I'm climbing. Like I'm reaching for some precipice, but I don't move a muscle to get there. I can't.

Is this what it's like to put every ounce of your trust into another person? To know they'll be there to take care of you no matter what?

I never want it to stop.

"Gorgeous, babydoll. You're gorgeous."

I think I moan as Teddy's palm runs over my skin. He smacks the top of my thigh, a thwack of beautiful, flashing sparks.

How long have we been doing this? Minutes? Days?

"You realize I'm never going to be able to let you go?" he says hoarsely, as if that's a bad thing. "You're mine, Kipling. You're fucking mine."

And when his palm connects with my ass again, I fly. It's an explosion so sweet it feels like I'm a million tiny butterflies, rocketing into the air, wings taking flight. It's a blasting apart of atoms, of my very composition. It's soaring and tumbling and cascading back together in a gentle, spiraling flow. It's knowing I'm not the same person as I was a short while ago. And being utterly okay with that fact.

I don't realize I'm crying until Teddy's thumb ghosts over my cheek. Don't even realize I came against his leg until he shifts me slightly and I feel the sticky evidence. I'm still dancing in the clouds, my tears like rain down my cheeks, cleansing and quiet. Teddy kisses my nose, and I smile. I fucking smile.

He shifts me onto my side, curling behind me, pulling a blanket up over our legs. He holds me and rubs my arm, the brush of his pants a reminder of my aching ass. I don't care. I cry, and it feels fucking good. Cathartic. I let out the pain of this shitty day. The hurt over my family's betrayal, time and time again. I let out the joy of knowing I'm safe here with Teddy. Safe and loved. God, I feel loved. I let the tears flow, and I don't feel an ounce of embarrassment. Not when Teddy is telling me I'm gorgeous. His perfect porcelain doll. His.

Did he know? Did he know I needed to cry like I needed air?

"It's their loss," he says quietly.

I nod, grabbing his hand and pressing it against my chest. It doesn't feel like a loss. Not right now.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asks before kissing the shell of my ear.

I nod again, having to clear my throat before speaking. "Thank you."

"Of course, sweetheart," he rasps, his arm tightening around me.

I wipe my cheek, feeling a little more like I'm on solid ground again. I kind of miss the clouds. "You, um…you didn't fuck me."

"Next time," he says gently.

"I can take it," I say a little indignantly, wiggling back against him and hissing when the material of his pants rubs my ass.

"Next time," he says again, kissing my neck. "This one hit you hard. And that's okay. It's really good, Kipp. You…" He blows out a breath, the rush of air tickling my skin. "I wish you could have seen yourself. How absolutely stunning you were. Are."

My heart beats beneath his palm. "I didn't know. I had no clue I was like this. That I could want this."

"I know," he says gently, kissing my shoulder. "Thank you for letting me show you."

Fuck.

"That, um…was that the endorphin high you were talking about?" I ask. "When I felt all floaty?"

Teddy nods against my shoulder. "Yes. It's called subspace. You fell into it beautifully."

I swallow. Every time I'm with Teddy, I feel a little floaty. But this was more. "Am I going to crash now?"

"You're already back on Earth," he assures me. "And I'm going to hold you and feed you and look after you tonight to make sure you stay there with me, okay?"

"Yeah," I say, feeling my eyes well again. "Thank you."

"No thanks necessary," he says softly. "That's my job."

It takes me a moment to ask the question on my mind. "And you? You get something out of this?"

He leans his forehead against my neck, lips brushing my skin. "Yeah, sweetheart. I get a hell of a lot out of this."

"Okay," I whisper, so very relieved.

"Do you want me to remove the plug?" he asks, drawing my attention back to that very thing.

I pause, considering that. "Can it stay for a little while?"

He hums, the sound soft and light. "Yeah, it can stay."

I kind of like it. Frankly, I wish it were Teddy's dick instead, but this is nice, too.

"Maybe," Teddy says slowly, lips at my ear, "I could plug you some day before work. Then you could feel me while we're apart."

I suck in a breath.

"Every time it shifts and makes you hard," he says, "you could think about my fingers in your ass, getting you ready. Spreading you open and making you ache. And once you're home, I could bend you over, pull it out, fill you with my cock…because you're mine, isn't that right?…and then fuck you to my heart's content. And you'd take it, wouldn't you? You'd take it all like the good doll you are."

I wheeze a little.

"Is that a yes?" he asks, the lovely, smug bastard.

"Mm," I answer, the best I can do.

He chuckles against my ear. "Next time."

"All these next times," I croak out, turning my head. "You better make good on your promises, hubby. I know where you sleep at night, and I've been known to get a little randy when I don't get my way."

"Don't you worry," he says, lips brushing my cheek. "I've got you."

And that, I believe.