32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Winnie

I take a breath as warm water rushes down my body. I put on body wash, trying to ignore the tingles in my body and how...

I don't have to keep thinking about Telke. He can stay in the bedroom on his own and we can cuddle without... getting his cock into me.

But it is going to feel good.

I shake my head as I spread the body wash onto my arms and so on. He is a good guy. He has a way of making me feel safe enough to tell him about my past, but...

Now... it feels like he can tell others and I'd be ashamed of myself.

He said that he thinks I'm blaming myself a bit too much, but he doesn't understand...

Is it possible for him to somehow be right about me while I'm the one in the wrong?

But the decisions I've made to date have been... here and there.

He asked about us being mates, too. Did he mean it?

He went out of his way to help me. We are technically just co-workers, but he is here with me and...

When he got caught in the accident, I didn't have to visit him every day after school either, but... I cared about him enough that I'd stay with him even more if my work schedule allows for that. Maybe it meant something.

But... I've made enough wrong decisions in my life that... what if being with him is the next wrong decision?

But... Deciding not to be with him can be a bad decision too...

How am I supposed to figure it out?

I close my eyes as more water runs over me. My arms are getting sore again. Maye floatball is more taxing than I imagined, or maybe I'm too out of shape.

I turn off the water when it feels like I can spend my whole life in the warm hug of the shower water, trying to escape from reality. It's not that bad to be with Telke. He doesn't seem to be the one who will make me work out with him or something.

Getting out of the shower, I pick up the towel and throw it over myself.

In the mirror, my shoulders are slumped and my head hangs low. There's a ring of red around my eyes. Maybe I've rubbed them a bit too harshly when I rolled around and cuddle with Telke. Or... Maybe I've been crying a bit too much lately.

It was a struggle to leave everything behind, but I managed it. More importantly, Ossa is safe with me. I've found myself a job and I won't keep struggling for long.

Maybe I can do something right too.

And Telke...

I shudder when there is rapid knocking at the door. "What's happening?" I raise my voice, hoping Telke can hear me. My voice shivers and I hate that. I can't even talk right...

"Are you fine? You've been there for a bit by now."

"I'm fine. Putting clothes on."

"Hey, just so you know. It's okay not to put them on." He is chuckling and laughing, clearly joking with me.

"That's what you want, huh?" That's what I said, at the same time, there's heat pooling between my legs and...

No.

I have to clear my mind before we do something with each other again. If I'm not going to be with him, I don't want to waste his time. He deserves a great mate who will love him and be there for him.

I put on the rest of my clothes and get out of the bathroom. Telke is at the door. He eyes me up and down when I step outside of the bathroom door.

"Hm... Clothed."

"Yes. Like I said, you're here to cuddle with me if you want to."

"I want to. That's for sure. Feel free to take your time until you're certain about that."

"Certain about being your mate?"

"Yes. That's if you'll consider me for sure." He winks with a half-forced smile. "No pressure. You deserve the best."

With that, he closes the bathroom door and heads for his shower.

I remain staring at the door for another moment. When we wake up tomorrow, hopefully, it won't be dead silence because of me.