31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Telke

What have I done?

I... I hold Winnie when she leans to the side, seemingly falling off the couch.

"Winnie!"

Did I scare her?

She said she didn't want to mention her past. I told her it was fine, and I understood, yet...

I pick her up from the couch and carry her to her bedroom. I have no idea what's happening. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about her past so badly that she faints.

Maybe she's the one needing a check-up, not me.

I put her on her bed. The apartment is temperature-controlled, so she can't be having heat stroke.

I take her wrist and feel for her pulse. Her pulse is throbbing alive, so... "Winnie, don't scare me."

Do I call the medics? Do I scream?

I pat my pocket, not feeling my phone. Maybe it's in the living room, on the coffee table.

I turn to grab it when Winnie strokes my thigh; where she can touch it when she's on the bed. "Winnie! I thought you fainted or died."

She snorts a laugh but ends up choking. I pat her hand for her to let go of me. "I'll get you water."

She nods and rests on the pillow, letting out a heavy breath. It pains me to see her hurting, but she doesn't even let me help.

I head to the kitchen. Ossa is sitting next to his bowl, meowing and watching me. Does a cat understand my words? Probably not.

"Ossa, do you know what's with Winnie?"

He meows again. Maybe he knows Winnie's name.

I take a mug and pour water into it. "I hope she doesn't hate me or think that I'm too dumb to help."

The cat comes to me and rubs his back on my legs. What does that mean?

I suppose it means he doesn't hate me.

Or... Maybe he thinks that I'm one of his toys... Maybe a back-scratching pillar.

He is away and back in his corner when I head to the bedroom again.

Winnie is still on the bed. She is awake, but staring blankly at the ceiling.

"I got you water."

She sits up and puts up a smile. "Thank you."

I want to know what's happening. I want to help her.

She pats the empty spot by her side. "Thank you." She sips on the water before putting it on the bedside table. "Sorry, I don't mean to worry you."

"I want to know what happened. I know you don't want to mention the past, but..." I lift my hand out and between us. "Don't faint."

She sighs with a weak smile. "I don't know. It's scary."

"If you'll let me, I can hold you."

"Oh, good. Hold me with those arms. Pin me to the wall."

I blink. Am I hearing things?

I reach the back of my hand to her forehead. "Are you feeling well?"

She laughs. "Geez, you're the crazy one."

"Am I?" Does she mean it? Am I reading into thin air?

"Are you going to hold me?"

"Yes." I sit on the bed and gather her into my arms.

She leans onto my chest, letting out a breath. Her limbs relax and the tension in her melts away. Even if she doesn't like me back, I'd be happy to be useful to her.

"Telke... It's wild. I don't understand why I'd let you hold me like this."

"But you just said—"

"Shhhh..."

Okay? I don't understand her.

She says, "Look, sometimes, I want to know I'm making the best decision, but I know perfect isn't possible."

I stroke her side. I can bite my tongue and keep quiet for her. My heart races and my gut twitches. I want to know about everything right now, except it looks like she is taking her time, which is reasonable.

Except...

She says, "I just moved to the city a short while ago."

Okay? But that can't be the reason she didn't want to mention her past. It can't be that bad.

She muses for another moment before she continues, "Ossa and I, that's all. I... I don't know why I even trust you enough to tell you this."

I try to stay quiet when she probably needs the space to talk it out. Sometimes, I think better when I say my thoughts out loud too, except other beings think that it's dumb.

She says, "I had nothing. I still have nothing. Everything you see here is either second-hand pickups or on credit card."

Wait... She is going to be in trouble in no time with this. I open my mouth, but she presses a finger on my lips. I nod, knowing better than interrupting.

"When the paycheck hits, I'll be fine. At least a bit more fine."

She falls into silence. I fight my urge to talk. I just want her to be fine, but... if she is struggling hard, she should have stayed where she was. Unless...

She sighs and it pains me. "I ran here with Ossa before he would be sold for pennies."

How can someone sell a cat that they've been keeping? I don't understand keeping a pet, but I know beings who love their pets and see them as family. Not to mention, how much can he get for selling a cat anyway? That's dumb.

She says, "I used to be with someone. He... didn't run a good business. He kept borrowing from me and everyone. My friends saw through it quicker than me. I... When I found out he was trying to gamble his way out of business debt, it was already too late."

She sobs. I hold her even closer, wanting to calm her with my presence, even though I doubt I'm of much help. If only... I suppose I can lend her some money, but maybe she doesn't want that.

How could someone lie about that? And that was almost like stealing from her. Let alone selling the family cat to gamble some more? That's the real crazy over there.

Winnie runs her finger along my chest. I'm still clothed, but her finger sets me on fire. I want to kiss her and tell her that I'm different and I'd never do that to her. But after what happened, maybe she doesn't want to trust others easily.

"I... Telke... I can't take another risk. I don't even want to remember how much I've lost. I just want to be fine, but I can't seem to be fine. It feels like I'm the reason nothing goes according to plan."

I grunt. "Who said that?" Fuck... I just agreed that I'd keep quiet until she's done talking. "I mean... continue."

She shifts and rests on my lap, using my thigh as her pillow. "It feels that way. That business didn't work. I dug myself into debt. Almost right after we met, you got into a traffic accident. Then... something else's going to go wrong soon."

"No, that's not how things work. Things don't go wrong before you exist."

"But... You don't understand." She sits up with a frown on her beautiful face. There are tears in her eyes, which tempt me to take them away with my thumb. "I'm not good for anyone."

"Lies. Everyone in the school likes you, and not just the kids."

And also my brothers. At least Efaze asked about her last evening, and he wouldn't if he didn't care at least a tiny bit.

She shakes her head. "That's because they don't understand. I just... I just can't make the right choice despite it smacking my face."

Yes, that may be the only thing she's right about. I'm a pretty amazing mate and she should give me a chance and give us a try.

She spreads her hands to the side. "Look, I should have seen what was happening and gotten out of that relationship before everything completely failed, but I didn't. I should have made a better decision with my money, but I didn't. I should have done something to help you when the accident happened, but I couldn't come up with anything. I should have focused on the floatball so I wouldn't almost get hit in the face by the ball. It feels like I just can't do a single right thing."

"Ossa is safe with you and isn't sold."

"Yeah... That's one thing that's not gone wrong."

"The kids have been enjoying the stories and lessons with you."

She sucks in a deep breath. "I suppose. At least I haven't heard complaints from the principal."

I huff. "I don't care who said what, you aren't the reason some bad things happened."

"But... Everything just..."

I press a finger on her lips, trying my best to do it quickly but gently. "No, no. If someone blamed things on you, that's because they are dumb."

She stares at me. I swallow, wanting to know whether I've said something wrong again. Words are hard...

I add. "They only blame you so they feel better about themselves. A real male takes responsibility."

She laughs and... do I take my words back? But I don't think I've said the wrong thing.

She pats my chest. "Look at you with your puffed chest."

Oh... "I didn't pay attention."

"Thank you. You always make me feel better."

I wink. "I can make you feel better in more ways than one."

She looks away from me. Maybe she's still hesitant. It's... I resist a sigh and keep my shoulders up. I pat her shoulder. "It's been a long day. You should take a rest. Like my father used to say, you'd think more clearly after you've rested."

She nods. "Maybe I should do that. I just wish... I wish it'd be easier."

"I hope everything will get better." I head to the door. "Feel better soon."

"Where're you going?"

"Home."

She frowns. "You aren't staying with me?"

"Do you want me to stay? I thought..."

"Oh..." She blinks and seems to catch on. I thought she didn't want me around when she... wasn't interested in my suggestion of... making her feel better in my own way.

She says, "I'm just not sure whether... Is it too much to ask for you to stay? The bed isn't that big after all, and we'll have to squish together to make it work." She takes a shaky breath, so shaky that I can see it. My fingers tinkle for me to hold her tightly so she won't fall apart.

I don't care who hurt her. I have to make sure she is fine. I want to be with her and I'm sure we'll be good together. I could feel it the first time I saw her. She feels different from all the other beings I've met.

"Winnie, it's okay. We're going to be fine. The bed survived the last night. It can survive tonight, too. If you want me to stay, I'll stay with you."

She nods and spreads her arms wide. "Yes, please. Stay with me."

Does this mean she wants to give us a chance? For us to be mates?

Probably not. But maybe we're getting closer. We don't need to be mates to care for each other anyway.

I climb onto the bed. "So... Don't you think you should at least shower before calling it a night?"

She sighs. "I suppose I should. I probably smell like a mess."

I roll my eyes. "Stop putting yourself down. It's not that bad. I bet I smell like a worse pile of mess."

"I don't understand why you're that good at cheering me up."

"Am I? I used to think I wasn't that smart with my words. Beings always laugh after I'm done saying something."

"Because you make them happy."

"Happy because of how silly I am?"

"Now you're the one putting yourself down." She leans closer and pecks a kiss on my cheek before I can blink. "You're pretty awesome."

My cock twitches and a surge of heat rushes through my whole body. "Just pretty awesome?"

She winks. "Until... someday."

"Hey! You can't leave that and go away!" She hops to the side before I can catch her.

"It's showering time, big guy."

I suppose she has a way of driving me crazy, which I may or may not like.