16. Logan

Hunter took Graham's idea of camping out in the backyard and, in his over-the-top style, turned it into a weekend trip to his cousin's cabin on the river. We came back from the awards reception and packed some gear, filling coolers with stuff to take to the cabin. Doc insisted on packing half of Sadie's nest, so it took the entire truck and Elliot's Jeep to haul us out here.

Sadie nested in the one bedroom for the first hour or so while we got everything put away, but we've been lounging out in the yard by the fire pit, listening to music and relaxing, for the last few hours. Out here on the river, it's like stepping into our own world, and I can feel the stress of the last few months melting away.

"What's on your bucket list, Sadie?" I ask, pushing a stick into the crackling fire. I've been stewing on an idea for a while, but before I mention it, I want to feel her out.

"I don't know." She shrugs, taking a sip from Hunter's beer. She's curled up in his lap on one of the big foldout chairs.

"It doesn't have to be a list. It's just something you want to do," Hunter murmurs.

"I think I've already got more than I thought I would ever have. What's on yours?"

Hunter kisses her forehead. "Finally restoring that old Bronco for you."

Graham eagerly cuts in. "I have a list that is not limited to winning one of those food challenges, knocking up Sadie, and building a treehouse in the backyard for our kids. And, for good measure, one day, I want to get Doc so riled up that he curses in public."

Sadie laughs, head thrown back. "I think we can probably manage that."

All the alphas let out these hungry growls, and my own desire to see her pregnant unlocks some kind of new kink I didn't know I had. I can picture Sadie smelling lush and her belly round with our alphas' child, our baby. I'm struck with a protectiveness and longing that rocks through my heart, squeezing my chest. The way I react to this omega of mine is always surprising.

"In the future," she says, her lips tugged up and making that dimple of hers pop.

I'm a fucking goner for that dimple.

She continues, "But for now, I'd like to take some time to figure out what life looks like after all that's happened. Sofia, Lizzy's friend who works at the library, was telling me this evening about a summer community class on photography that they host. I don't know, but I'm thinking about it."

"Do it, princess," Hunter says.

A chorus of agreement rings across the circle.

"You guys are the best," she says, leaning in to kiss Hunter's neck.

I decide to throw my hat in the ring. I haven't brought up my idea to either of my mates yet, and it would impact them. These last few months have left me feeling burnt out on journalism. I want to take some time to sort it all out and find my love of writing again. "I'm thinking of writing a book, maybe stepping back from the magazine. I've had a few offers that I want to consider."

My pack is quiet for a moment before happiness and support burst free like popping corn, all of them talking at once. Tristian offers to help, Graham whistles, and Elliot nods. That's basically a ringing endorsement from our quiet alpha.

Hunter leans over in his chair and says in my ear, "I'm proud of you, boy. You know we'll support it. Come up with a plan, and we can make it work."

My heart squeezes at his easy acceptance.

Sadie hops from his lap and lands in mine. "You're a beautiful writer, Lo. I can't wait to read whatever you write. You're my best cheerleader, and I want to make sure I do that for you too."

I tighten my arms around her, breathing her in. I love these freaking people so much. Their blessing is a relief, and my heart settles. Once the investigation is over, I can create a plan.

"Thank you, beautiful," I murmur in her ear, then kiss along her neck until she giggles.

"How about you, El? What's on your list?" Doc asks.

"Don't have one. But I'd like to help build that treehouse," he says.

Gods, that man is so adorable, and he doesn't even know it. I know shit's been going on with him and Sadie. He cloaked the bond in some stupid attempt to protect her. Doc finally had it and told him point-blank to cut the shit. These alphas, I swear. Sometimes, they gotta go the long way around. But it seems as though Elliot's turned a corner in the last few days. I hope this is it and he gets the whole dream, babies and all.

"All right, I think I have one to add to the list," Sadie declares. "I want to go skinny dipping. I've read about it in books, and I want to try it. And finally catch a fish, maybe even this weekend." Graham hauls her up from my lap, but she laughably protests. "Not now! It's dark."

"No time like the present." The alpha picks her up over his shoulder and carts her off toward the dock.

She laughs and squirms in his arms, filling our bond with happy bubbles.

The pack jumps up to join them, clothes and feet flying. Sadie shrieks as Graham launches them both into the dark water, clothes still on.I discard my T-shirt and start working on my jeans, but I notice that Elliot is hanging back by the fire. His eyes are fixated on the canopy of stars above us.

Hunter turns to me in question, his brow lifted.

"Go on. I'm gonna talk to El," I say.

"You sure? I can stay and keep him company."

"I want to."

Hunter nods, giving me a quick kiss before pulling back and stripping. He shouts to the others, "Cannon ball."

Hunter's splash makes Sadie half laugh and half shriek. I turn back from their silliness, a smile on my face, and walk back to stand in front of Elliot's chair.

"What's up, El?"

"Give me a minute, and I'll be good." He doesn't look at me. His scent screams embarrassment, edged with lust.

I look down and notice that the giant monster he's packing in his sweats is rock-hard.

He glares at me. "Wipe that smirk off your face. And quit looking at my dick."

"It's hard to miss, big guy. What's got you so excited?" It must be thinking of Red having our babies. I never thought the idea could be hot until a minute ago.

I open my mouth to tease him, and he cuts me off. "Can I ask you something, Lo?"

"I'm a reporter with a shoebox of kinks. There probably isn't a question you can ask that I won't try to answer."

A smile teases his lips, but he closes his eyes. "How did you know you were attracted to Hunter? Is it all alphas? Guys in general? Just him?"

My heart stops and starts. This is a serious question, and I don't want to fuck up my answer. But also, I'm giddy with it. I've wondered for a while if maybe there's something more going on with my trio of alpha packmates. The fact that Elliot's chosen me to talk to about this is huge.

I sit back down in the chair next to him. "I knew as a teen that I liked older alphas when I got a boner every time the alpha next door to us mowed his lawn. Mr. Adams, what a silver fox. He used to mow his lawn every Sunday with a white work shirt tucked into his back pocket. I have a type."

Elliot chuckles at the nostalgia in my voice.

"I dated a female alpha in college. I've always been drawn to dominant people. Sadie was more of a surprise for me. She still is. I wasn't ever attracted to an omega before her, not like that."

Elliot takes that in, leaning back and looking at the stars. Minutes pass, and I think that's it. That's all he's going to ask me. But a few moments later, his deep drawl cuts into the night air. "Do you think it's possible for your sexuality to change?"

I pause, careful about how I answer. "I think it's a spectrum, and it can always shift. Our sex lives and identities change as we do. There's no one fixed way to be, El. Do what works until it doesn't, then reevaluate. Does it feel like it is changing for you?"

He doesn't speak, then he clears his throat. "You've always been submissive?"

So, we're not answering that one. Okay.

"Yeah, except with Sadie. I usually like giving up control. It works for Hunt and me. But with her, it's somewhere in between."

"And when you reacted differently with her, you just went with it?" he asks, his deep voice so low it's hard to make out the question.

"Yeah. But I'm me. Physical touch is my whole personality. It doesn't have to be like that for you or anyone else."

Elliot stares unseeing into the fire, and I try to play it cool, which is basically the story of my life. I've got zero chill and about a million questions I want to ask, at least fifteen podcasts to recommend, and a coming out party I want to throw. He isn't ready for all that, but he did come to me seeking answers. I puzzle over that, forcing myself to rein it in. But man, oh man, do I squirm sitting there next to him.

Eventually, he asks, voice low and hesitant, "Do you think you could teach me how to be a good lover to her? Sexually, I mean. Like how to pleasure her?"

Holy shit. This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill.

I swallow my excitement before I spew it all over the place. I try to keep my voice calm while simultaneously hoping Cupid will lend my ass an arrow for my mad mission. "If you want. But as far as we know, you're not a sub. And I'm not an alpha. I'll teach you whatever you want to know, but maybe for this, Graham or Tris would be better. They're both more vanilla and alphas."

Elliot's scent bursts with arousal, and his neck turns red.

Thank you, sweet, kinky Cupid. I knew there was something there.

"I don't know if I can ask them that, Lo." Elliot's face falls, a swirling cloud of doubt surrounding him. "I'm trying to learn to be better for her, for the pack, but I'm not sure I can manage that ask. But I want to be able to."

I can't take it anymore and climb in his lap like Sadie does. He'll kick my ass off if I cross a line. It isn't sexual. I don't think of him that way, even if his dick is a work of art. But he's my packmate and my friend, and I want to comfort him.He's obviously surprised but doesn't tense up.

I hug his neck and speak low. "I'll help. I'll even enlist the others if it's okay for me to tell them that you want to explore. But if it makes you uncomfortable, I can keep it quiet."

"Yeah? You'll talk to them?" His big arms circle around me, hugging me back. "I'm noticing things I didn't before about Graham and Doc, but I don't know what it all means yet. You can mention that I want to learn more about pleasing her. I've already talked to Doc about it in another context, but let's leave the other stuff between us for now."

"You got it, big guy. What's a boner for a packmate between friends?" I tease.

"You're such a shit."

"You know my wine me, dine me, sixty-nineme Ted Talk was awesome."

Elliot laughs, the sound big and loud. When he stands with me in his arms, however, I know I'm about to be in trouble. I try to scramble down, but the mammoth of an alpha doesn't even get flustered. He runs down to the dock and launches us into the water. Bubbles go up my nose and it burns, but damn if it wasn't worth it.