You Don’t Have to Do This Alone （33）

February 14

Valentine's Day

Bridgeport managed to lay the smack down on the Wolf Pack, taking the W with a score of 5-2. Both TK and Hayes put up several points, Hayes scoring two goals, including the game winner, and TK netting 3 assists.

Hayes was named the second star of the game, and after he'd gone out to wave to the crowd and toss his stick to a lucky fan, one of the team reporters nabbed him in the tunnel for a quick interview.

"Tyler Hayes, awesome game out there today. We're so glad to see you back. Can you tell me a little bit about what it's like to be back in Bridgeport after being on injured reserve for the past few months?"

"Yeah, it's, uh, great to be back on the ice, obviously. Being away for so long isn't something I wanted for myself, but, uh, sometimes things happen and you gotta just roll with ‘em, you know?"

"What's your goal in terms of the future? Are you hoping to get back to New York sooner than later, or are you OK with being here in the AHL?"

"Listen, you know, obviously the goal is to play at the NHL level. That's not even a question. But I understand my limitations, and I trust my coaching staff. They say this is where I need to be? Then this is where I need to be."

"There have been a lot of rumors surrounding you and Travis Kadin recently, and there's been some speculation about the nature of your injuries and the events surrounding your leave of absence. Can you comment on that?"

"Right now, I can't. But, both Travis and I will be givin' a press conference in about 20 minutes, so if you wanna know, then we'll see you there, eh?"

"We'll be there. Thank you, Tyler."

"Yeah, thanks." Hayes turned and headed down the tunnel, his breath hitching and his pulse racing as he realized that he was about to go in front of the entire world and come clean about what had really happened with him and TK.

It's not like the rumor mill hadn't already pretty much solved the case. It's just that he was no longer going to deny the truth.

As he entered the locker room, the team was busy celebrating Osi's big win, which put a huge smile on Hayes's face. He'd come so far from where he'd been last year when he and Hayes played together. Hayes snuck up behind the Russian goalie, who was standing shirtless with just his bottom gear still on, threw his arms around his chest, and squeezed him. "I'm so fuckin' proud of you, Os."

He turned around to face Hayes, wrapping him in his arms and resting his head on his shoulder. "Not as proud as I am of you."

"Thanks, man. You're comin' to the presser, right?"

"Would not miss it."

Hayes had only told a few of the guys about what he and TK had planned, Osi being one of them. However, in typical Bridgeport style, it appeared word had spread rather quickly because almost all of them were foregoing the showers and throwing on a quick change of clothes. Rizz approached Hayes and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm proud of you, Hayes. The two of you. It's important to live your truth, and I'll be right there supporting you the whole time, brother."

Hayes nodded, taking the hand he'd extended for a handshake, clasping it in his own, then pulling Rizz in for a hug. "I appreciate you, man. Thank you."

Reaching into his stall to grab his phone, he turned around when he felt another hand rest on his shoulder. "Hey, Teek."

"Hey. So, are you ready for this?"

"No. But we gotta."

"Ugh, I know. Yo, you played like the absolute fucking star you are tonight. I'm so proud of you."

"You did, too, Teek. Had my back at every turn."

"And I always will, baby."

Just then, Hastings came into the locker room and made a beeline for Hayes and TK. "Boys, listen. I just wanna say…"

"It's happenin', Coach. I'm sorry, but it's not somethin' I can…"

"Hayes, will you shut your fuckin' yapper for a second? I was gonna say that while I don't love this idea, I understand you have to do what you have to do. And I want you to know that I support you. Both of you."

"Thanks, Coach," Hayes replied softly.

Hastings turned toward TK. "And Travis, what we talked about yesterday? It's in the works. Should have it finalized by the end of the week. It's looking like the Sens."

TK nodded. "Thanks, Coach. I appreciate it."

"See you both in there. Good luck. And Hayes? Keep your damn cool."

As TK watched Hastings walk away, Hayes grabbed him by the arm and forcefully turned him in his direction. "Teek? What the fuck's he talkin' about the Sens for, man?"

TK looked down and began picking at his fingers. "I…I was gonna tell you, I just…"

Hayes's eyes pleaded with TK's. "Teek, no…"

"I have to, baby. If I wanna get better…if I want you to get better, which I do more than anything, then I have to go."

"No. Trav, we can do this together…"

"You know we can't. As much as I love you, you know what we have isn't…it's very toxic, baby. You know that."

Hayes nodded, pulling his Bridgeport #17 hoodie over his head, reaching into his stall for his gray wool hat, and pulling it down over his hair. He hadn't gotten a haircut in a while, so his sweat soaked locks were a bit untamed, being fresh off the ice.

"Here, lemme." TK reached up and carefully adjusted the hat, tucking some front strands of his hair underneath and smoothing some others gently behind his ears. "There we go." He kept his hands on the back of Hayes's head and pulled it forward to meet his own, their foreheads touching. "You're an absolute fuckin' beauty, Ty Hayes."

"I'm gonna miss you so fuckin' much," Hayes said quietly, as TK pulled away from him.

"I know. Believe me, I'm gonna miss you, too, baby. But we can still talk. It's just…it's better if we aren't around each other all the time. It'll be easier for us to heal that way, you know? We've been through some shit together, Ty. But we're gonna be OK. You know that, right? That we're gonna be OK?"

"I know that, Teek." Hayes glanced at the clock on the wall.

It was time.

"You ready?" he asked, grabbing TK by the hand.

TK held onto it, squeezing it and shaking it a few times. "Let's do this."

???

"Thank you all for coming. This press conference has been called at the request of Tyler Hayes and Travis Kadin, both members of the New York Islanders organization. The way it's going to work is this: they will begin by addressing the press, and during that time we ask that you hold any and all inquiries until the end, at which point they will open the floor for questions. Tyler, Travis. All yours."

Both Hayes and TK sat at the table in the press room behind the microphones in front of an absolutely packed house. Most of the Bridgeport team and coaching staff was standing in the back of the room along the wall, and Ryan and Joss were seated in the back. Hayes, a look of sheer panic plastered on his face, glanced over at his fiancé, who mouthed, "I'm right here," with a nod.

That immediately put Hayes at ease. "Thank you, Logan," he said to the Bridgeport communications manager as he left the stage. He took a deep breath, stole one last look at Ryan, and began. "So, there have been a lot of rumors and misinformation surrounding myself and Travis following our leave from New York in December. We're, uh, here today to clear some of that up."

"Tyler, is it true that you…"

"We're gonna hold all questions to the end, as Logan already stated. Thank you."

Ryan damn near fell out of his chair, shocked at the poise his fiance was demonstrating. His response was firm, yet respectful, and didn't include a single f-bomb.

It gave him half a chub.

"So, it was announced that Travis and I were placed on long term injured reserve following our involvement in a car accident, and while there was an accident, the actual purpose of our leave was so that we could enter into the NHLPA Player Assistance Program for substance abuse treatment."

This statement was followed by an audible gasp and collective murmuring, and Hayes waited for it to die down before continuing.

"Without getting into too much detail, both Travis and I failed to productively deal with our stress, along with some unresolved trauma, and unfortunately, we turned to narcotics and alcohol in an attempt to cope. We both understand that our actions had consequences not only for ourselves, but for our family and friends, our team, and the fans. For that, we are deeply sorry for any hurt we may have caused." He looked over at Travis, whose eyes were glued to him in awe. "Teek? Did you wanna jump in?"

TK took a deep breath and leaned into the mic. "Yeah, so, you've heard the rumors regarding our accident, and I wanna come clean. I was totally at fault for it. I drove while under the influence, and I put my best friend's life at risk, as well as the lives of other passengers on the road that evening. I was arrested, as I should have been, and charged with DUI. I know there's been a lot of talk about it, and I wanted you to hear it from me that it's true. Following my arrest and the Islanders team intervention, I completed a 60-day treatment program, during which and after which I have remained sober."

A small round of applause broke out.

"Thank you. I have been going to counseling and will continue to, and, like, I wanna use my experience to speak out regarding the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse. This is all so much bigger than me, bigger than hockey, and I just want people out there to know that, like, if you're struggling, if you feel like it's all hopeless? There's help available. You just gotta make the decision to get it."

He looked at Hayes, whose eyes had been fixed on him and who nodded with approval before taking over. "That's the main reason we wanted to give a statement today. You know, we're both young, but we've played for a long time and we know for a fact there are other guys in this league strugglin' with some of the same issues as us. I also completed a 60-day treatment program, through which and after which I have remained sober."

Another small round of applause broke out, and Hayes glanced at Ryan again, who smiled at him.

"The game is fun, but there's, uh, a lot that happens that they don't tell you about, don't prepare you for, and unfortunately, it can be overwhelming at times. And, like, if you're feelin' like you have no way out, or that you need help but maybe you don't feel strong enough to ask for it, or you're embarrassed to admit it? Trust me, we feel that. We both have a lot of shame, but at the same time, we're humble enough to own it, hopin' that maybe it helps someone else. Both Teek and I are here. Man, we'll talk to you, we'll listen, and we'll help you get whatever you need. You don't have to do this alone. There's no shame in admittin' that you have a problem or gettin' help, and we just wanted you to hear that. We can take a few questions at this time."

Immediately, multiple reporters started shouting questions out, causing TK and Hayes to look at each other nervously. Logan jumped back up onto the stage and took the mic in front of Hayes. "We're going to ask that you…excuse me!" he yelled, getting everyone to quiet down. "We're going to ask that you do this in an orderly fashion. Dana," he said, pointing to a woman in the audience, "will come around and take questions. One at a time, please."

Dana approached the first reporter. "Travis, are the rumors true that you were traded from Nashville for your excessive partying and an inappropriate relationship with a teammate's wife?"

"I fail to see how that's relevant to what we're talkin' about right now," Hayes cut in sternly.

"It's just that…"

"It's just nothin'. We're here to answer questions regardin' our leave from the Isles. Let's keep the focus on that, eh? Dana, next question."

She moved on to another reporter, leaving the previous one annoyed and muttering as he took a seat. "Travis and Tyler, there has been speculation about the nature of your relationship with each other. Can you speak to that at all?"

TK jumped right in. "Yeah, I can. Ty is my best friend in the world and the reason I'm alive right now."

"Right, but some are under the impression that there may have been a little more to your relationship than that…"

"What are you really askin', lady?"

Ryan brought both hands to his mouth, as Joss, seated right next to him, placed a hand on his thigh.

Shit. Here we go, Ryan thought, hearing the tension rising in his fiancé's voice.

"I wanted to know if…"

"You wanna know if we're gay? Is that it?"

TK leaned over to Hayes and whispered, "You don't have to answer that, baby."

"Nah, it's all good. Let's get it out. So, like, if you've been payin' any attention to me at all, it's not a secret, nor has it ever been. The Pride Tape all over my stick every night? It's not some political statement or virtue signal. No, I'm not in a relationship with Travis. We're just friends. But I have been in a relationship with a former teammate of mine for over a year now. We, uh, actually just got engaged," he said, lifting his right hand and showing the ring to the room.

He waited a few moments for the chatter and murmuring to die down before continuing. "And he's the most supportive, selfless, wonderful human being I'll ever have the pleasure of meeting. He's the reason I'm alive to talk to you today, and I love him more than I can even begin to put into words. So yeah, if you feel you need to put a label on it, I'm gay and I'm in a gay relationship. And I'm also happier than I've ever been. Next question."

Ryan shifted in his chair and exhaled.

I am going to fuck that man's hips right through the bedframe tonight, he thought, watching in amazement as hisfiancé handled the situation like the absolute boss he was.

The rest of the presser went well, with all of the reporters on their best behavior and keeping their questions respectful. At the conclusion, the boys received a standing ovation, and between Osi, Ryan, Hayes, and TK, it's a miracle the entire press room didn't fill up with tears.

As Hayes left the stage, there were several people who tried to stop him and talk to him, but he pushed past all of them, his eyes laser focused on where he needed to be. He quickly approached Ryan, grabbed either side of his face with both hands, and pulled him in for a long, slow kiss. Ryan's hands made their way to Hayes's waist, as several Awww's and camera flashes filled the room around them. He pulled away from Ryan, grabbed one of Ryan's hands, and yanked his arm up over his head. "This is my fuckin'...sorry, this is my fiance!" he yelled, causing several cheers to erupt, mostly from the Isles along the back wall.

"We always knew it!" Dalesy yelled.

"Yeah, we did!" Kasic added, as he fist bumped Dalesy.

Hayes let their arms drop but kept a hold of Ryan's hand as he turned to see what TK was doing. He was talking to a couple reporters, with Joss hanging back a few feet from him. His eyes drifted and met up with Hayes's, and the two offered each other a bittersweet smile.

"It's looking like the Sens."

Hayes knew it was necessary, but that didn't make it suck any less.

Travis Kadin and Tyler Hayes had been thrust into each other's lives at the exact moment they'd needed to be in order to help save each other from themselves. In the midst of all the chaos, all the hardship, they'd fostered a friendship that had led them both to a place where, though the ride there had been a rough one, they could become their authentic selves. They could let go of the trauma, let go of the heartbreak, leave the past behind, and focus on the road that lay ahead of them.

Unfortunately, their friendship was part of the past that needed to be left behind.

Detachment was necessary for them, as much as they both hated to admit it. Maybe somewhere in the future there could be a healthy friendship with strong, established boundaries, one where they could focus primarily on their own needs instead of taking on each other's, but in all honesty, it was an unlikely outcome for two codependent addicts. The odds were stacked against them big time.

He thought back to the quote by Graham R. White that his new therapist had shared with him regarding codependent relationships the other day, and it'd really resonated with him.

"Codependency is using a relationship to fill a bottomless void due to not feeling whole and loved as an individual."

Hayes had met TK at a time when he didn't feel whole or loved, but as he looked down at the ring on his right hand, he realized that wasn't who he was anymore.

Yes, he was broken, but he damn sure was loved. And not only by Ryan, but now by himself. And yeah, Ryan and Hayes had their own codependent tendencies that they needed to work on as well, but they were tackling it together as an engaged couple with the help of both their therapists.

Hayes glanced back over at TK one more time, who was now standing right next to Joss and laughing with him; he couldn't explain how, but he knew right then and there that Travis Kadin was going to be alright.

This trade, as much as it hurt, was the best possible thing that TK could've done for them both.

"Hey," Ryan said softly, grabbing Hayes's hand. The room had begun to clear out. "Why don't you go shower so we can get outta here?"

"Big plans?" Hayes asked, bringing Ryan's hand to his face and kissing it.

"You? Up on that mic, taking control in front of all these people the way you did?" He leaned into Hayes's ear. "You're lucky I didn't whip it out and crank one off right here. That was so fucking hot."

"Is that right?" Hayes asked, snaking a hand around his waist.

"Yeah, that's right. And you? Are gonna have to beg me to stop making you cum when we get back to the apartment."

Hayes smirked, squeezing Ryan's hip. "Sounds like a plan. Except, uh, we're not stayin' at the apartment tonight."

"No?"

"Nah. I kinda…planned somethin' special. Valentine's Day, you know?"

"Yeah? And what's that?"

"Guess you'll have to wait and see, Rook."

And with that, Hayes broke away from Ryan and headed off to the locker room to shower, put on his very favorite suit, and pray to God that this went as planned.