So Good, So Good （22）

Ryan had tried several times to get a hold of Hayes, but his phone kept going to voicemail and every text had gone unanswered, which meant it most likely was still at the facility. Ryan had called White Oaks to speak with Dr. Rosa, as she was the one who'd contacted Amara.

"How the fuck did he just leave?"

"Because he's a grown man, Ryan. This isn"t a prison. Being here is voluntary. He didn't attend his afternoon session and when we checked the rest of the facility for him, he wasn't there. I called Ms. McDonough because she was listed as one of his emergency contacts right after you."

"No one saw him leave? He didn't say anything to anyone?"

"Not a word. Ryan, I don't know what this means for him and the league, so…if you get a hold of him, make sure he gets back here. Maybe this can be his one screw up. Just make sure he comes back. He really is making great progress and I'd hate to see him throw it all away."

It was a little after 9 p.m. and the boat was just pulling up to Jake and Mar's. Koski got close enough so that Ryan could step off without him having to dock.

They'd done enough of that for one day.

"Text me when you find him, Baylor. I am worried for you." Koski called to Ryan, who was checking his phone again.

"I will. Thanks again, man," he called back to him, turning and heading down the dock, using his phone flashlight so he could see. There were dim lights along the edges, but it wasn't exactly well-lit.

It was at that moment that Ryan thought he was losing his mind because he could've sworn he heard someone whisper, "Rook."

He shook his head and kept walking, damn-near jumping out of his skin when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Jesus Murphy!" Ryan screamed, whipping around so quickly and off-balance that his phone slipped out of his hand, bounced along the boards, and landed in the water with a pathetic plop. He watched, heart-racing, as the light from the flashlight slowly disappeared. "Son. Of. A. Bitch."

"Sorry, Rook." There stood Hayes, black hoodie pulled up over his head. "That fuckin' sucks."

"Why? How? What?" Ryan tried to form a sentence, but he was so pissed that the words wouldn't coagulate. "Hayes. What…the fuck…are you doing here?"

He pulled his hood off. "I needed to see you."

"You can't see me right now, Hayes! You…you snuck out of fucking rehab?

Hayes moved in closer to Ryan. "I knew you were goin' out with him and I couldn't stop thinkin' about it. It's been tearin' me up all day. Did you have fun?"

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Don't do that…"

"Did you have fun, Rook? Did you hook up with him?"

"You don't get to do that!" Ryan yelled. "You don't get to ask those questions. We're not together right now. At least I can say that."

"So, you did hook up with him?"

"Yes, Hayes. I…fuckin' hooked up with him. He sucked my dick and then fucked me. Is that what you wanna hear?"

"Did it feel good?"

"Fuck this," Ryan muttered, turning to walk away.

"Rook." Hayes grabbed him by the back of his shirt, spinning him to face him, and before Ryan had any idea what was happening, their mouths were pressed together, hands caressing each other's faces as they both wept. "I'm…fuckin' dyin'…without you, Rook," Hayes cried between planting kisses against Ryan's lips. "I miss you."

Ryan kissed him back, sliding his fingers around the back of his head, down his back, and pulling him in for a hug. "I…miss you, too…so much."

Hayes wrapped his arms around Ryan and squeezed, holding onto him as though the two had all the time in the world. "I don't want you out there with someone else," he whispered, his head resting on Ryan's shoulder. "I want you with me. You belong with me, Rook."

Ryan nodded, unable to let go of him.

"He at least fuck you good?" Hayes asked desperately, not wanting to hear the answer, but needing to.

"Yeah. He did. Really good. I came twice. But the only thing I could think about was you. So, there's that."

Hayes broke away, sighing loudly as he pulled back from Ryan. He grabbed both his hands and held onto them, with Ryan allowing it. "So, I don't," Hayes said, dropping down onto one knee, "have a ring or anything, but…will you fuckin' marry me, Ryan? Please. I'll spend the rest of my life provin' to you that I'm worth it."

Ryan looked down at him, hardly able to make out his face on the dimly lit dock, half-smiling at the fact that of course Hayes's marriage proposal had included an F-bomb. How could it not? "Hayes? Get up," he ordered, pulling him back to his feet and then dropping his hands.

"You didn't say no and you didn't tell me to fuck off. I'm takin' it as a…"

Ryan grabbed the sides of Hayes's face and pressed his forehead against his. "You don't have to prove that you're worth it. Ever. There is no one who's more worth it than you. Do you even understand how hopelessly in love I am with you? I've been running around trying to convince myself that I can move on from you, from us, but…" He paused, as a few tears slipped down his cheek. "I can't."

"Then don't."

"You broke my heart."

"I know. And I fuckin' hate myself for it."

"I don't…know how to do any of this, Tyler."

"What, and you think I do? So, we'll learn together." Hayes reached up to Ryan's face, tilted his own chin up, and kissed his forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Ryan whispered. "But listen, I need to get you back to White Oaks now before you end up in really deep shit."

"I don't think…I wanna go back," Hayes offered. "I think I might be better. Maybe I can just stay…"

"Nope," Ryan cut him off, placing a hand over his mouth. "Gonna stop you right there. A good friend once told me that you don't stop just because you think you're better. You need to see it through to the end. Not to mention, the NHLPA has made completion of this program a condition of your employment. Do not be a fucking idiot, Hayes."

"I just…my heart? Is all but dead. I miss sleepin' next to you. I miss the way you smell after a shower. After a workout. I miss the way your lips taste after you suck my cock. Fuck, kid. There's nothin' I don't miss about you. It's…bein' away from you? It's gonna kill me."

"No. It's not. You're getting better. A few more weeks and then hopefully you can finish up at sober living, have a bit more freedom. That is, if this little stunt doesn't get you in too much trouble."

Ryan reached for his phone, instantly remembering that it'd fallen into the bay. "Shit," he said, slapping his thighs and gesturing toward the water. "And there's that."

"Let's get it. Get a fishin' net or some shit and I'll climb in and get it, scoop it out."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Calm the fuck down, Jacques Cousteau. It's pitch dark out here, that water is freezing, and the thing's already completely ruined. I doubt a bowl of rice is gonna do the trick this time. There's no point. Not to mention, we ain't pulling any mission impossible shit right now. We gotta go. Let me go grab Jake's keys."

"I wanna…can I come in? I wanna meet him. I wanna meet JT and see Mar. Please?"

Ryan shook his head. "She cannot know you're here. She'll freak out. And she's…that's the absolute last thing she needs right now."

"I wanna meet him," Hayes repeated sadly, as they'd begun walking down the dock and back toward the house.

"And you will. But not tonight. Go stand by the Jeep. I'll be out in a minute."

"How is he?" Hayes asked.

"He's…a baby. I don't know. Really cute, but a very loud, little baby who never stops screaming. He really likes me for some reason, though. I can always calm him down."

Hayes smiled.

All of that makes sense.

He walked over to Jake's car while Ryan went inside. He wondered if he could do this, if he could be away from Ryan for another two weeks at least, ultimately determining that if being here another two weeks got him back to Ryan?

He could do it a hundred times.

???

They turned onto the road off of which White Oaks was located. It was a long, mostly desolate, dimly lit road. Ryan had grabbed the keys without any drama, as both Mar and Jake took advantage of JT's momentary silence and were sound asleep on the couch. He left a note on the kitchen counter for them in case they woke up, as he knew Mar had probably tried to call him a thousand times by now.

No phone. I'll explain later. Everything's fine. Found him. -Ry

"Pull over," Hayes said, breaking the silence that had filled the Jeep Wagoneer pretty much since they'd left the house.

"Why? You OK?" Ryan asked, concerned.

"Just pull over, Rook."

Ryan put the hazards on and pulled the Jeep into the roadside grass, putting it in park. Hayes reached his hand across to the ignition button, turning it off, then turned off the hazards. "What are you…" Ryan began, but he trailed off as Hayes snaked a hand around the back of his neck and leaned over.

"Hop in the back with me right now," he breathed against Ryan's ear, kissing a path down his neck.

Ryan began to protest. "I don't think…that's a good…idea…fuck." Hayes began massaging Ryan's thickening cock through his shorts while sucking on his neck a bit before biting down.

Marking him.

Claiming him.

Fuck if he was gonna let some other dude hook up with his man, make him cum twice, and send him away thinking about him.

He was about to remind Ryan exactly where he belonged.

"Come on," Hayes coaxed, awkwardly fumbling his big ass over the center console and landing on one of the captain's chairs in the middle of the SUV. He stuffed a hand down next to each seat and messed around a bit until he figured out how to lay them flat so they'd have more room to play. He reached back up to the front seat and grabbed Ryan by the shirt, which was all the convincing he needed to follow Hayes into the backseat.

Hayes sat on the third row of seats, legs spread as Ryan approached him, bent over in the cramped space. He extended his arms and clutched onto Ryan's waist, pulling him down onto his lap so he was straddling him. Hayes felt Ryan's hard cock pressed against his own and he couldn't explain it, but something about the fact that another man had just fucked Ryan mere hours ago had him so horny.

He knew he wasn't supposed to, that Dr. Rosa had warned against it given Ryan's sex addiction. But Hayes really liked sharing him in the bedroom and he really liked being shared, too.

It'd kind of become their thing.

Instinctively, Ryan's hands made their way to Hayes's pants and ripped them open, Hayes lifting his hips so Ryan could yank them and his boxers down. Hayes reached around Ryan's legs to shimmy them to his ankles while Ryan had since gotten his own shorts undone. He was working to maneuver out of them as well but was unable to keep his lips away from Hayes's. "Why do we…always pick…the tightest spots…to try and fuck in?" Ryan asked breathlessly between kisses.

"Keeps things interesting," Hayes said, leaning his head back and raising his arms, allowing Ryan to pull his hoodie off. He tossed it aside and ran his hands over Hayes's shirtless body. They could barely see each other because it was so dark, so they succumbed instead to their sense of touch and their imaginations.

"Your body," is all Ryan could say, trailing his fingertips across Hayes's midsection, tracing every single line and rippled, hard edge.

"It belongs to you, you know," he said quietly, as Ryan pressed his hands all the way up his body to his neck. Ryan held his face steady and moved his tongue past Hayes's parted lips, forcing it into his mouth where it was quickly met and eagerly welcomed.

They kissed slowly, deeply, driven by need, not by want or desire.

These two men didn't want each other.

These two men needed each other, just as they had since the first day they'd met, even if they'd remained completely oblivious to it for a while.

Ryan reverted to pawing at Hayes's abs while Hayes dragged his fingertips up and down Ryan's back lightly as they continued attempting to swallow each other whole. Finally, and almost completely out of breath, Hayes broke the kiss, Ryan still moving his mouth desperately as Hayes pulled away. "Speaking of tight spots," Hayes panted, sliding his hands down to Ryan's ass and squeezing. "Flip around and face the front."

Ryan hesitated. "Hayes, I can't. I was just…with him…"

"Yeah? How ‘bout I don't give a fuck because you're mine. Now face the front so I can remind you of that fact."

Ryan bent over, smirking at the return of Hayes's cockiness; he'd missed it. He got onto his knees and rested his arms on the center console between the two front captain's chairs. Hayes, with zero hesitation, grabbed his ass with both hands, spread him apart, and went in full force with his tongue, causing Ryan to gasp. He didn't have the first clue what he was doing, but he'd eaten enough pussy and had been rimmed enough times that he was sure he could figure it out.

"Hayes. Baby. Fuck," Ryan moaned, as Hayes pressed his tongue against his hole and licked him obsessively, rolling it over him at different paces and gauging Ryan's reaction to see what he liked best. He seemed to prefer when Hayes went slower, so that's what he stuck with. As he tongue fucked his ex-boyfriend's asshole, he tasted the latex from the condom they'd used, he tasted the remnants of the lube, and the fact that he knew another man had just been here and pleasured Ryan had his cock throbbing, begging for release.

He kept at it for a bit longer, alternating between rimming him and licking a trail down to his balls, thoroughly enjoying the extent to which Ryan was squirming and whimpering beneath his touch, hoping it would remind him that despite everything that had happened, this was where he was meant to be. He could feel Ryan attempting to rut his dick against the floor, desperate for some contact, so he pulled his mouth away from him. "Can I fuck you? I wanna fuck you so bad, Rook."

That was the second time that day Ryan had been asked for consent and he damn near blew his load just from that. "Please. Yes," he panted, as Hayes leaned back and sat on his calves.

"What do we, uh, have for lube around here?"

"Hold that thought." Ryan turned around and crawled past Hayes to the back seat, leaning over it and into the trunk area of the SUV, fishing around for a bit and ultimately coming up with a tube of AD ointment. He uncapped it and sniffed it just to make sure since it was so dark and he couldn't see. "They keep an extra diaper bag in here."

"Oh. My God," Hayes giggled, as Ryan tossed him the tube. "We have reached a completely new level of debauchery. Really, Rook? You want me to fuck you with our friend's baby's diaper cream?"

"Um, first off: debauchery?"

"Yeah. What?" Hayes said defensively.

"That"s just like, a really big word. For you."

"Oh, fuck off."

"Anyway, you have a better idea?" Ryan argued, as Hayes sat down on the backseat next to Ryan. "Because it's that or nothing. And nothing isn't an option with that cannon you're packing."

"Diaper cream it is," Hayes said. "Now get over here and ride this cock before I fuckin' die." It'd been over a month since Hayes had had sex with anything except his own hand and he was practically frothing at the mouth for it.

He squeezed a tiny amount from the tube onto his fingers and as Ryan straddled him, he reached a hand between his legs and lubed up his hole, already slick with spit. Ryan lifted his hips so Hayes could line his cock up, both of them moaning as Ryan sat slowly, bearing down on him and taking all eight inches, his knees on either side of Hayes's hips.

He remained still for a moment, letting his body adjust as Hayes reached up and grabbed his face, bringing it to his own. "Rook? Rage fuck me, OK? I know I fucked up with TK and I know you're angry. Take it out on me, all of it, right now. I want you to fuck the absolute fucking shit out of me."

Ryan nodded, moving his hands to Hayes's hair, grabbing a fistful of it in each one and slamming his head back against the seat as he started bouncing on Hayes's cock.

"That's it, baby. Just…like that. Fuck me just…like…that."

"You know he wasn't…the only one…" Ryan panted, continuing to ride him hard. "I fucked two…other guys and a girl."

"Yeah?" Hayes moaned, as Ryan pulled his hair. "That's fine. Because look where you are right now. Exactly where you're supposed to be."

"I'm still so fucking angry at you."

"I know, baby. Show me…show me how angry you are. Do whatever you gotta do to me, baby."

Ryan, still riding Hayes with everything he had in him, let go of his hair. At that very moment, it was like he became someone else entirely. Before he could even process what was happening, a loud crack filled the air as he whacked Hayes across the cheek, death-gripped his chin, tilted it up like he was going to kiss him, leaned in, and spit directly into his face. He didn't miss a beat, continuing to bounce in his ex's lap, a few tears escaping his eyes. "Fuck you…fuck you, Hayes, for doing this to us."

"I deserve that," Hayes whimpered, his own tears right behind Ryan's. "I deserve…so much worse than that."

"You do. And I hate you for doing this. But I…love you so much."

"I love you, Rook."

Hayes reached in between their bodies and wrapped his hand around Ryan's dick, running his thumb across his slit and smearing some of his precum around the head, Ryan quickly pushing his hand away. "Don't touch me. Make me cum with your cock."

If anyone had driven by, they'd have seen the SUV rocking wildly as Ryan rode Hayes's dick hard and fast, giving him the same treatment Koski had given him just a few hours ago. Their pleasured moans and the sound of Ryan's fat cock slapping against Hayes's abs filled the interior. Though Hayes was grateful for this moment, having missed it so much, he knew he didn't deserve it.

He wanted to be punished for what he'd done.

Degraded.

Humiliated.

The way Ryan had spit in his face had done something to him. It'd woken something up deep inside that he was way too eager to explore.

Hayes grabbed the back of Ryan's head and forced it forward to meet his. "Do it again," he breathed onto Ryan's lips.

"Do what?"

"Spit on me."

"Why?"

"Because I fuckin' liked it, OK?" Hayes snapped, feeling himself teetering on the edge of release.

"Yeah? Well, you fucking deserve it," Ryan growled, grabbing a fistful of his hair and ripping his head to the side. He slid his other hand around Hayes's throat, causing him to gasp loudly. Ryan squeezed before mustering up as much saliva as he could and spitting into his face again, all while continuing to fuck him lifeless. "This what you want? To be spit on and choked like the worthless, cheating piece of shit you are?"

"Yes…yes," Hayes moaned. "Harder. Squeeze harder."

Hayes suddenly felt weird; it was almost like he was high, which was impossible, but everything became cloudy and fuzzy. The moment right before a nut was always kinda like that, but this was that feeling times 1000.

He heard Ryan say something to him but he couldn't make it out. He then felt Ryan's other hand wrap around his neck, followed by him pressing in on his Adam's apple with both thumbs, effectively choking him.

What followed a few seconds later was the most intense orgasm Hayes had ever had. He felt it in every single piece of his body as he grabbed onto Ryan's hips while he pulsed deep inside his ass, unable to make any noise because his airway was constricted. Feeling himself begin to slip away, he tapped Ryan rapidly a few times on his left hip, his head plunking down on the seat behind him, gasping, as everything went foggy.

"Shit, sorry!" Ryan said, panicked. He immediately released his grip, cradling Hayes's head in his hands. "You OK, baby? I'm sorry. I got…carried away."

"Fuck. So good. So good," he repeated quietly, his head still resting on the seatback, eyes closed as he felt the aftershocks of his orgasm make their way through him.

"Hayes? Are you OK?" he heard Ryan say, sounding muffled, almost as if he were in another room.

Hayes nodded, eyes still closed. "So good. Your turn now?"

Ryan ran a hand through Hayes's hair, who moaned at his touch. "I…baby, I already came. Same time you did. Look." Ryan grabbed Hayes's hand and dragged his fingers through the mess Ryan had blown on his chest and abs, some of it now running off either side and onto the seat. "Thank God this is a leather interior because there is cum everywhere. So much cum. I'm actually afraid to…unplug all that."

Hayes started to come back around, yawning. "Yeah, that was the mother lode. It's gonna be a lot."

"Hey?" Ryan asked gently. He brought a hand up to Hayes's face, wiping away some of the spit that lingered there and sucking it off his own fingers. "Where'd you go?"

"Huh? I'm right here, Rook."

"No, I mean…you disappeared for a bit, right before you came. Are you…OK?"

Hayes shrugged. "I guess. I felt…like, high or…somethin'. Still feel a little weird. I can't describe it."

"I didn't…I mean, those things I said to you? I didn't mean them. I was just…kinda playing along. You seemed into it."

"I know that. And I was into it. I've never gotten off that hard. Ever. I like when you get rough with me. And I like findin' out what I like with you, new kinks and shit. It's fun. I…I'll do anything you want me to do, Rook."

Ryan didn't say it because there was part of him that was still pissed at his ex-boyfriend, but he knew he'd do anything Hayes wanted him to do, too.

Anything.