22. Jay

CHAPTER 22

JAY

I couldn't say that all my worries and fears had disappeared after the night of Howie's engagement, but my future with Ash now felt a lot less uncertain.

Having less time for each other and being apart due to the upcoming football season wouldn't be easy, but we'd make it work.

Now that we had extra help at the studio, I'd been taking more time off to squeeze in as much time with Ash before his schedule became even more hectic.

Today was one of the rare days where I was scheduled all day. I had a bit of time before my next class, so I was up front with Sam. Harper was off, and Diego was currently instructing his Pilates class.

It felt like old times, when it was just Sam and me. Sam sat behind the counter eating an apple, looking lost in thought. I called out his name, but he didn't react.

Waving a hand in front of his face, I called out his name once more. This time, he heard me and startled. He almost fell out of his seat, but I managed to steady him just in time and helped him right himself again.

"What's got you so lost in thought?" I asked, concerned.

He slowly turned his face to me, looking a little lost as he blurted out, "I'm moving back to Kither Springs."

I froze, doubting I'd heard him right. I'd known Sam wouldn't stay here with me forever. He'd always told me he'd move back to his hometown eventually, but I never thought it would be this soon.

I'd been prepared to lose Ash once the football season started, but I hadn't expected to be losing my best friend as well. That was a double-whammy that was sure to take any man down.

My mouth flapped open and closed, not making any sound. Apparently, it was the funniest thing ever, because Sam let out a loud snort before bursting into giggles that had me relaxing as well.

I was sad as fuck that Sam was leaving, but from how lost in thought he'd been, there must be a reason. Instead of moping, I hoped to be there for him and let him leave without having to worry about me here.

"Is everything okay in Kither Springs?" I asked once we finally settled down. Sam threw away the apple core and returned to his seat.

"My sister is pregnant," he replied with a sigh.

"Oh, congratulations!" I started, but paused when I saw his dark expression. "Or is this not a happy event?"

"No, it is. She's excited about the baby—I am as well. It's just her Scum of the Earth boyfriend dipped and left town as soon as he found out. You know we only have Grandpa, but he's not exactly energetic enough to help care for a newborn, and my little sister is going to need all the help she can get."

Once Sam finished speaking, he looked at me with a sad expression. I could see the emotion in his eyes, and that was making me feel even more emotional as well.

"I'm sorry to have to leave like this. I wish I was able to help more than?—"

"Stop." I held a hand up and interrupted him. "Don't even think that. You've helped way more than you could ever know, Sam. Bodhi wouldn't have been the same without you, truly. And don't ever feel bad for having to take care of your family. You being there for the people you love just shows what kind of man you are, and I love that about you," I said, giving him a playful nudge on the shoulder.

He chuckled and pulled me into a hug.

"When do you leave?" I asked as I hugged him back. I didn't want to let my best friend go, but I knew this was something he needed to do.

"In a couple months. Lana's twenty weeks pregnant. I read online things get harder in the third trimester, so I want to be there before then…but I can stay here longer if we need more time to find a replacement. "

"Like anyone can replace you," I teased, then said seriously. "Don't worry about the studio.Diego and Harper have been doing an amazing job. We'll manage."

Sam nodded into my shoulder. We stayed like that for a few more seconds, then I asked, "So Lana kept the pregnancy from you for that long, huh? I didn't think she could even keep a secret from you."

I'd met Lana a few times over the years when she came to visit Sam in Houston. She was a few years younger than him and a total sweetheart.

That had him grumbling as he ended our hug. "Oh, you best believe I had some strong words for her when I found out she kept it a secret for that long. She said she didn't want to bother me at first, but then started panicking when the realization that she'd be a single mom sank in."

We talked about his upcoming move and how his sister was adjusting to everything until people started coming for the next class. I didn't get another chance to chat with Sam again. Either he was teaching a class or I was.

When I got back home that night, I was pleasantly surprised to find Ash waiting for me with a home-cooked meal. It had been a while since Ash was back before I was, and it was even more rare for him to cook.

"What's the special occasion?" I asked after giving Ash what was intended as a quick kiss in greeting, but he ended up capturing me and kissing me silly until I was out of breath and had forgotten what I'd asked him.

"Just wanted to do something nice for you. And I wanted to talk to you about something," he said and started plating dinner for us.

I accepted my plate and followed him to the dining table. "Uh-oh, I hope it's not anything bad. I'm not sure if I can handle anything else today."

"Did something happen?" Ash asked with his brows furrowed.

I told him about Sam's plan to move back to Kither Springs while we ate dinner. Ash comforted me the best he could, but this was a change that I'd have to get used to myself. It wasn't something anyone else could help me with, and Ash seemed to understand that.

"I'm going to miss him like hell, but it's not like we'll never see each other again. I'm sure we'll visit each other. It's just going to be a bit lonely since I've gotten so used to having you both again, and now come fall, Sam will be gone, and you'll be busy with the new season," I said, voicing out my fears for the first time.

Ash took my hand and squeezed it. "Actually, that's kinda related to what I wanted to tell you," he started. I raised a brow in question, indicating for him to continue. "I've been thinking, and I want to retire after my contract ends. So it might be lonely this season, but we won't have to be apart again next year."

Inwardly, I was ecstatic from hearing I wouldn't have to miss him for most of the year while he worked, but my brows only knitted tighter.

"What's wrong? I thought you would be happy to spend more time with me?" he asked, now showing even more concern.

"I am!" I replied quickly. My thumb rubbed the back of his hand as I gathered my thoughts. "I am super happy that we'll have more time together, but…I don't want that to be the reason you're leaving the NFL. It's your dream, and I'll hate myself forever if I was the reason you gave up on that."

Ash looked at me with wonder. "Darlin', if anything, you've helped me revive my dream and make it evolve into something I'm more passionate about than ever. So no, I'm not giving up my dream for you. I'm choosing to live my new dream, which also happens to let me stay close to the people I love, and one man especially, who has my heart. And honestly, I don't think I'd realize that I had options if it wasn't for you reminding me that I was more than just an NFL player. Football is in my blood, with or without the league."

I studied him and then a thought came to mind. "Are you talking about coaching the kids?" It was true the joy he'd shown after each Queering Sports event couldn't have been faked, but it had never crossed my mind that this would be a path he was curious about.

Ash looked adorably shy as he nodded. "I was chatting with the head of the charity, and they said they might have a place with them if I wanted to go full time. That'll mean I'll be doing more than just coaching—I'd have to organize events as well—but if it means helping these brave kids in a sport they love, I think it'll be worth it."

I left my seat and climbed onto his lap. Ash was already using his hands to keep me from falling off of him. "I'm so happy you found what makes you happy again." I leaned in for a kiss, then pulled away just enough to say, "So Coach Ash, huh? Sounds sexy."

"Oh, would you look at that? Suddenly I'm not so hungry anymore," he announced as he pushed me higher against his body and stood up. I laughed as he carried me to the bedroom and tossed me onto the bed. I didn't even have enough time to catch my breath before he was on me again.

His mouth devoured mine, tasting and nibbling my lips. His facial hair scratched my chin in a way that had me curving up into him. I was lost in him and in this moment. Every time I was with Ash like this, he consumed all of my senses until I was filled with nothing but him.

Next thing I knew, our clothes were off and he was stretching me out. I whined under him, crying out that I was ready, but he took his damn sweet time.

My hands roamed up his back and cradled the back of his head. I missed being able to grab onto his longer locks now that he'd cut his hair short again for training. Maybe I'd convince him to grow it out next year .

After what felt like too fucking long, Ash finally lubed himself up and pressed inside. He went slowly, and as soon as he was completely inside of me, we both let out a pleasant sigh at the same time. We chuckled at our in sync actions. We were connected, both physically and mentally.

Then our eyes met. His were filled with mirth but also a steadiness that he'd always shown me. They told me I didn't have to be afraid of what was coming next.

Our lives were changing, but that didn't mean we were changing. We were moving forward, but what mattered was that we made an effort to move our paths forward together .