CHAPTER ELEVEN
THENEXTMORNING we're driven to Dunedin in that fancy car with the so-silent-he's-almost-robotic driver. As every kilometre passes I get more nervous. This is crazy precarious. I desperately want to see Ava before leaving but I've no idea how I'm going to explain everything.
‘She doesn't need to know we've been...'
Out of touch? Estranged?I can't even figure out how to talk about this to him, let alone my younger sister, who I've tried to be a solid support to.
Dain doesn't lift his gaze from the laptop he's typing on. ‘It'll be fine.'
I knock on her door and wait while holding Lukas in my arms. I've an almost violent urge to run away—I don't want Ava to feel as if I've let her down in some way. As if I've made Mum's mistakes all over again. Dain slings a heavy arm around my shoulders, literally anchoring me in place as if he senses my urge to flee. He steps in close and almost presses me into his side as if sheltering me and Lukas from a cold wind.
‘Stop worrying.'
His breath warms the side of my neck and I shiver and he cuddles me closer still. His heat seeps through my old down jacket and the anxiety inside morphs into something else. I look at Lukas in my arms to hide the sudden emotion sweeping through me. The door opens.
‘Talia?' It's a stage whisper at first, then Ava's voice rises twenty decibels. ‘Talia?'
She stares from me to Lukas in my arms then up to Dain, standing tall beside me, then back to me and around the three of us again—a circle of movement and amazement.
‘Surprise...' I say weakly.
‘Oh, my...' Ava looks from Lukas then up at Dain again. ‘Oh, my!'
‘May we come in?' He floors her with his most charming smile.
Gaping, Ava steps back and we file inside her cramped student flat.
‘You've been keeping secrets,' she hisses at me.
‘I know. This is Lukas.' I pass my baby to his aunt. ‘And his father, Dain.'
Ava melts as she stares down at Lukas. ‘Talia, he's gorgeous.'
Yep, both of them.
‘How did you—when?' Ava's eyes fill with curiosity and reproach. ‘What's been going on?'
Emotion clogs my throat. At the sight of her displeasure I suddenly feel so guilty. I hadn't really thought this might hurt her.
‘Talia didn't want to worry you,' Dain says gently.
‘I met Dain in Queenstown,' I say. ‘One thing led to another...'
‘Sure did.' Ava smiles awkwardly.
‘It was an instant thing,' Dain says.
He still has his arm around me. He's playing a part. I play my part too. Only for me it isn't a pretence. My legs really are like jelly, my heart isn't just racing, it's turbulent. The attraction that hit me the moment I first saw him rears from its slumber. But it's always been there. It never left me and now it's wide, wide awake.
Ava offers us tea or coffee and apologises for the tiny flat. I'm used to it but I see Dain's assessing glance around and stiffen. He sees me notice him and simply holds me closer. And that just makes me flustered.
‘You look thinner in the face.' Ava studies me intently. ‘Are you sure you're okay?'
I feel Dain's quick frowning look down. After what happened last night I don't need him being any more over-protective. ‘It's just been busy. I'm fine.'
‘You're able to feed him okay?' Ava checks.
‘He's a hungry boy.'
‘So you need to be eating enough to—'
‘Stop it.' I force a laugh. ‘You're a second-year med student, not a paediatrician already.'
‘Maternal nutrition is—'
‘Enough. I eat well.' I shush her. ‘Dain's overprotective enough, you'll only make him worse.'
‘Good.' Ava shoots him an imperious look. ‘Make sure she eats properly. Little and often.' Ava glances at me again. ‘Make that lots and often.'
I shake my head.
‘You work too hard. You always have.' Ava leans close and her voice lowers. ‘You should have told me.'
I feel queasy at her plaintive tone. I've hurt her when it was the last thing I wanted.
‘You needed to focus on your studies,' I murmur.
I feel Dain tense beside me and I quickly glance at him.
‘You've been sending me money all this time.' Ava suddenly clicks. ‘Did you work all through your pregnancy?'
‘Lukas was a little unexpected.' Dain steps in and fills the sharpening silence. ‘I'm here to support both him and Talia now.'
The frown in Ava's eyes doesn't fade. ‘You think you can get Talia to depend on you? She doesn't let anyone in.'
Ava blinks and her head swivels towards me. Dain watches me too and I feel as though I've let them both down. I'm weak and I go for the distraction he provides.
‘Ava,' I say gently. ‘Dain's helping with your fees now.'
‘What?'
‘Have you checked your banking app lately?' I ask.
Ava winces. ‘Why would I—?'
‘Have a look at it,' Dain suggests.
Ava passes Lukas back to me and pulls out her phone. Her face goes all blotchy when she opens her app.
‘My accountant will be in touch,' Dain says quietly. ‘There might be some tax implications, but she'll manage that for you.'
‘Are you for real?' Ava looks at Dain and then at me. ‘Is this for real?' She shakes her head vigorously. ‘I can't accept this from a stranger. I can't—'
‘You can accept this from family,' Dain interrupts firmly. ‘And that's what we are now. Right, Talia?'
I've lost the power of speech. I'm still clamped to his side and he drops a kiss on the top of my head. It brings everything back—the scent of him, the strength of him, the sheer vitality of him that's so bewitching. I liquefy inside.
Ava's stunned to silence as well. Yep. Full Dain Anzelotti effect in action.
She looks at me. I feel the heat on my skin and know I'm blushing. I can't hide my response to him.
‘Consider it a scholarship,' he says. ‘You've accepted those before, right?'
Ava nods but she doesn't take her eyes off me. I'm trembling inside and I hold Lukas more carefully because I have to direct my energy somewhere.
Dain smiles but both his arms are around me now as if he knows I'm close to spontaneously combusting and he's literally holding me together.
Ava's eyes soften. ‘Oh, Talia,' she whispers. ‘I'm so pleased for you.'
She isn't talking about the money. What she sees—or what she thinks she sees—is wonderful. It's what I ache for. And what I don't have. She believes the lie he's presenting, only right now it's truth for me—I'm in thrall to him and I absolutely want to go with him to wherever he chooses...
‘I'm taking Talia and Lukas to Australia.' Dain's voice is gravelly.
‘Australia?'
‘Dain has a family home there,' I explain as Ava's eyes go huge. I've no idea if that's actually true but I know the impact the idea will have on Ava—the same impact it has on me. ‘It'll be Lukas's family home too.'
Ava nods slowly. ‘And yours. A permanent place to stay.' She sends me a small smile. ‘Finally.' Ava blinks rapidly and looks down at Lukas. ‘I can't believe I'm an aunty.' She breathes in shakily. ‘I'm going to miss him and I barely know him.'
I glance up at Dain. There's a bleak expression in his eyes that he quickly blinks away when he catches my eye.
‘We'll send lots of photos. Videos. Calls.' He turns his attention to Ava and promises.
He never got those. I never sent any—not after that one shot of Lukas as a newborn. I feel terrible. ‘We really need to go now, Ava, I'm sorry. We have to get to the airport. Can't miss the flight.'
‘Ava's like you,' Dain says bluntly as we pull away from the kerb. ‘Bossy, untrusting.' He sighs. ‘We didn't get far in the life-story swap yesterday. What happened with your dad?'
I shoot him a look. ‘He walked out when I was eight and Ava was four. There were always other women and once he'd left for good he didn't want to know us at all. He just wasn't interested.' I grit my teeth. ‘My mother didn't cope. She thought she needed someone, so she went from one jerk to the next. She had high hopes for every new guy she let into her life and when those hopes were shattered, we moved. Every time.'
‘How many times?'
I shrug. ‘I can't remember exactly.'
‘Every year?'
‘At least.'
His expression tightens. ‘And you took care of Ava.'
I swallow. ‘Of course. Now you've met her, you know why. She's wonderful.'
It only takes minutes to get to the airport but we don't head to the main terminal, but to a smaller building to the side. The driver and an equally discreet porter gather our belongings from the car while Dain lifts Lukas out as though he's been doing it for months. Yep, he's a fast learner. And even though we've left Ava and there's no need for any further pretence, Dain doesn't distance himself any. He wraps an arm around me and hustles me to a small counter, shielding me and Lukas from the few other people in the room.
‘Are we leaving right away?' I mutter.
I'm more nervous now than I was about seeing Ava and it's not the actual flight putting the fear in me.
‘You don't want to?'
‘I wouldn't mind some lunch,' I prevaricate.
Because I'm about to be cooped up in a very small space with him for hours and I don't think I can trust myself. I don't even step away from him now when I actually can. Pretending for Ava has stirred me up—I can't help wishing that the tenderness in his touch were true.
‘We'll eat on board,' he says.
That's when I glance out of the window and see the plane on the tarmac. It's sleek and has no commercial markings. The truth dawns on me. ‘You have a private jet?'
‘We would've flown to Dunedin from Queenstown, but the pilot went to pick up your passports. He's just finalising the flight plan for us now.'
My lungs seem to shrink. I'd forgotten about the passports. But they're here—turned around super quick because of his power and resources. ‘You always travel on your own jet?'
‘I like the privacy it gives me,' he says.
‘Because you're secretive?' Maybe he doesn't want anyone to see Lukas and me with him—maybe that's why he's hurrying us out onto the tarmac.
‘Not secretive,' he says coolly, guiding me towards the stairs. ‘Private. There's a difference.'