18. Nicholas

18

"Do you think he'll wake up soon?"

"I don't know… I tried to ask the doctors, but they weren't sure."

"But he's okay, right?"

"They think so but it's hard to tell sometimes if there's any damage before they wake up."

"There's no damage."

"You can't tell by just looking at him."

"Yeah, I can. And there's no damage, all right? All right?!"

I was floating in and out of several conversations all at once, unsure if they were happening in the same time frame or several days apart. It was like I was here and I wasn't, my brain struggling to reach itself, divided within my own head. There were some moments where it felt like I was so close to having some clarity, so close to getting a grip and everything settling back down where it belonged.

But those moments were fleeting, always exactly out of my grasp, always too far for me to cling onto them and bring them close.

Until one day, it finally happened. My eyes fluttered open and I was staring at a white, unfamiliar ceiling. I could feel that there was an I.V. in my arm, the needle buried underneath the skin at my inner elbow. There was also a steady beeping sound, somewhere right beside my head, its pace reminding me of a heartbeat?—

Oh.

I was in the hospital?

I struggled to take a deep breath as the memories came back to me in a flood.

Burning building. Little girl. Darkness.

I groaned as I struggled to take yet another breath.

What the fuck had happened to me?

"Nicholas? Are you awake?" Suddenly, Jacob's face was lingering over my own.

"Jacob?" I squinted up at him, even more confused than I was before. "You're here?"

"Of course. After I heard what happened, how could I not turn back around?" His expression was lined with concern. "I'm just happy you finally woke up. The doctors had said something about it but I didn't know how soon to expect it?—"

"Where's Parker?"

Jacob nodded toward the door. "He's right across the hall from you."

"Wait. He's hospitalized, too?"

"He is." Jacob held a hand out in front of me, motioning for me to stay in bed. "But he's been conscious this whole time. His leg might be in a cast but that's all?—"

"His leg's in a cast?" I sat up in my hospital bed, eager to get over to him. "What happened to him, Jacob?"

"They think something must've fallen on it when he pulled you out of the fire. He was probably so hopped up on adrenaline that he didn't notice but that building was in awful shape when he went in after you."

"He… went in after me," I mumbled, mostly to myself. "Parker saved me…"

"He did." Jacob smiled down at me. "It was a pretty idiotic move but pretty brave, too. Very Parker-like."

"Can I see him?" I pleaded. "I really… I really want to see him."

"I don't see why not," Jacob replied. "Although, I'm sure the doctor will want to see you first, make sure everything's okay."

"Wait."

"Wait?"

"Why are you in my room instead of Parker's?" I pressed. "Shouldn't you be over there watching him like a hawk?"

"I've actually been watching you both like a hawk." Jacob smirked. "But when Parker's passed out, I usually make my way over here. Just to check in."

"And the hospital's been allowing that?" I quirked an eyebrow. "You just ping-ponging between two rooms? No questions asked?"

"I may have told a fib or two to make sure I could come and go as I please."

"What kind of fib?"

"I may have told them that Parker is my brother by blood… and that you're his fiancé."

"Jacob."

"Don't worry about it. I made sure none of the guys from the fire station overheard me," he assured me. "I just wanted to make sure everything was going well with the recovery and all for both of you."

"I probably would've done the same thing, if I were in your shoes," I quietly admitted. "No harm, no foul, right?"

"No harm, no foul." Jacob nodded as he spoke. "All right. Let me call for the doctor and then we'll get you over to see Parker."

"Nicholas…" Parker offered me a bright smile as I slowly stepped into the room. It was hard to maneuver around with the I.V. machine still attached to my arm, even as I bent to gently kiss Parker's forehead. I held his hand as I leaned back up from him, not wanting to let go anytime soon.

"You're awake," he continued, a look of awe now crossing his face. "I knew you could do it. If anyone could, I knew it'd be you."

I wanted to say something in response but instead, the cast around Parker's leg suddenly caught my eye. "Fuck. Does it hurt?"

"Not as long as I take my pills on time." Parker shrugged. "You know what's crazy? I didn't even feel it when it happened. Apparently, I was just so focused on pulling you out of the fire that a broken leg didn't even register. Isn't that wild?"

"Yeah, that does sound pretty wild," I murmured. "How long is it going to take for it to heal?"

"The doctor says I have to stay completely off it for the next six weeks but it was a clean break so it should be good as new once it's done healing, overall. Although, I'll be getting regular check-ups after the initial six weeks, too, just to follow up on the healing progress. And there's a chance I'll still need some physical therapy, but we'll have to wait and see."

"That's good. That's lucky."

Parker chuckled as he wiggled his cast. "Yep. Lucky me."

"Does your job have PTO? For injuries or sick leave?" I gingerly pressed. "Because if you needed a place to heal, you could always just… stay with me. At least until you're good to go."

"Are you sure you're up for taking care of me while I'm in recovery mode?" Parker sounded unsure. "It's one thing when we can go hiking and get out of the house and make out wherever we want… it's another thing when it's you just taking care of me all day."

"I want to take care of you, Parker." I smiled down at him. "All day."

"Hmm…" Parker hummed, thinking it over. "It would be a load off Jacob. Seriously. He's pretty much been living at the hospital ever since we both came in."

"It would be considerate, giving Jacob a break…"

"And a lot of my stuff is already at your place so it wouldn't be a big deal when it comes to making sure I have enough clothes and shoes…"

"You have taken up considerable space in my bedroom closet…"

"And there's the fact that I'm completely in love with you," Parker murmured, his confession low and quiet.

"What was that last one? Sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly?—"

"I'm in love with you, Nicholas," he repeated. "I love you. I love you so fucking much that I ran into a burning building after you because I didn't know how to accept a world without you in it, a life without you in it. And I know that probably sounds fucking nuts because we haven't known each other that long but I just?—"

"I love you, too, Parker," I cut him off, unable to stop myself grinning from ear to ear. "Fuck, Parker. I love you so much, too. I've been wanting to say that for days, but I didn't want to freak you out with it?—"

"You could literally never freak me out with anything." It was Parker's turn to cut me off. "I mean, maybe if you were a serial killer, but even then I'm already in love with you so I guess I'll just be complicit in your murderous rampage?—"

"Okay, you have to stop casting me as a serial killer in your head." I laughed, the sound quickly turning into a cough, my lungs obviously still recovering.

"Huh. You sound like you smoke twenty packs a day and I'm going to need a pair of crutches just to get out of bed in the morning." Parker laughed now, too. "God. We're a match made in heaven."

"Absolutely." I grinned down at him again before pressing a soft kiss against his lips.

"All right, all right," Jacob said, stepping into the room. "It's time for you to get back to your own bed, Nicholas. You've still got some resting up to do."

"I'll be back as soon as I can, sweetheart," I whispered close to Parker's ear.

"I can't wait," Parker whispered back, his own hand squeezing my palm tight before reluctantly letting go.

"Nicholas?" George sounded surprised to see me as he came down the steps of his home.

I'd arrived only a few minutes ago, cheerily greeted by George's wife and overexcited Labrador. I hadn't told him that I was coming to see him or what I was coming to see him for, only gathering the nerve on the drive over here from my place. I'd been released from the hospital a day ago, now settling in with Parker at my home, choosing to make the trip while Parker was taking a nap on the living room couch.

"You're looking good, kid," he added with a grin once he reached where I was sitting. "Much better than I thought you were going to look. God, when I saw them pull you onto that stretcher, I thought it might be the last time I ever got to see you alive?—"

"I can't accept the promotion."

"What?"

"I'm sorry." I turned to look up at him, trying my best to keep my voice steady. "I know how much you wanted it to be me. Hell, I wanted it to be me, too. But I've just realized that I… there's something bigger."

"Something bigger than the thing you've been destined for ever since you stepped inside my station?"

"Yes."

"Okay. In that case, I think I'm going to need you to tell me about it," George said, as he sank into the seat next to me. "What's going on with you, kid?"

"Almost dying did something to me. Shook something loose that I think was already inside of me, I just hadn't really acknowledged it yet."

"And what would that be?"

"That I'm deeply in love with someone. And that I don't want to leave this earth without spending as much time as I can with them." I answered. "And even if he decides to stay here with me, I don't think I can take your old job, George. I know how much you had to sacrifice to always be there whenever the guys at the station needed you."

"Sacrifice?" George shook his head. "That's where you're wrong, Nicholas. I was happy to do it. I couldn't imagine a life for myself where the station wasn't a part of it."

George patted me on the shoulder, a smile spreading across his face. "And it sounds like you can't imagine a life for yourself where this person isn't part of it, either. I think that's really beautiful, kid."

"So… you're not mad at me? About turning down the promotion?"

"Mad at you? Never." George lightly chuckled. "Besides, give it a year or two and Tyler will probably be ready to take over, anyway."'

"Tyler running that place? Might turn it into a madhouse."

"Maybe so." George chuckled again. "Either way, it won't be my problem anymore. The wife and I will probably be on a year-long cruise around the world."

"Holy shit, George." My eyes went wide. "Don't those things cost like $50,000?"

"Yep." George smirked as he rose up from his seat beside me. "Turns out, you can save a pretty penny when you spend all your time down at the station. All those missed celebration meals, the special birthdays, the fancy parties? The wife and I will be getting it all back real soon."

"I couldn't be happier for you, George." I smirked at him in return. "And I'm definitely going to need you to teach me your financial wizardry before you head off on your cruise."

"Eh. Maybe I'll write a book about it."