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17. Parker

17

"Where the hell have you been, Parker?"

Jacob was on the other end of the line, sounding more worried than I'd ever heard him before. Nicholas and I had just come back from our hike and I was lying down on the living room couch, completely exhausted. Although, I couldn't tell if I was more tired from the hike or from replaying the conversation at the tree over and over again in my head.

I could still hardly believe that it had actually happened, Nicholas asking me to stay.

And I still had no idea what I was actually going to do about it, either.

"I've just been enjoying myself, taking it easy," I replied, before letting out a tired sigh. "Why? You starting to miss me back at the farm?"

"It's just that I don't recognize this place or any of the places you've been the last few days."

"What?" I squinted out of pure confusion. "What do you mean you don't recognize this place?"

Suddenly, I shot straight up, pressing the phone even closer to my ear. "Jacob, have you been stalking me? What the fuck?"

"It's not stalking if you're doing it out of genuine concern. And for the record, no, I'm not stalking you exactly."

"Then, what are you doing, exactly?"

"Tracking your phone," he admitted. "I started to get worried when you wouldn't tell me where you were and then you were incommunicado for a while?—"

"Because I was enjoying my vacation?—"

"I just needed to know what was going on with you," he went on. "And now, it looks like you're at this house owned by some Nicholas guy I've never heard of?—"

"You're here?"

"Right outside, actually."

"Jacob, what the fuck—You know what? Hold on," I said, ending the phone call with a click. I then walked over to Nicholas' front door, swiftly pulling it open, soon revealing Jacob standing patiently on the other side of it.

"Jacob! What the fuck?!" I repeated my earlier phrase, finding it much more satisfying to do so in person. "What are you doing here?!"

"I already told you." He offered me a small smile. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay?—"

"Parker? Is that you?" Nicholas asked, as he walked up behind me, wearing nothing more than a towel around his waist. "I was just about to hop in the shower and wanted to ask if you wanted to join—Oh."

"Hi." Jacob waved over at him, eyeing him up and down with pure suspicion. "You must be the homeowner? Nicholas Cooper?"

"That I am." Nicholas held out his hand for Jacob to shake. "And you are?"

"Jacob Bronson," he replied, as he shook Nicholas' palm. "One of the co-owners of Wild Woods HQ."

"And my wrangler, apparently," I grumbled, and Jacob gave me a look out of the corner of his eye.

"Did you want to come in? Have a bite to eat?" Nicholas offered. "We also have a lot of beer left over from a party, if that's more your speed."

"Sure, I'd be happy to come in." Jacob nodded as he crossed the home's threshold. "It'll give me a chance to catch up with Parker here."

"I think you're all caught up, actually—" I started.

"Of course. You two catch up and I'll go put on a few more clothes." Nicholas nervously chuckled as he disappeared from the living room, leaving Jacob and me standing awkwardly near the door.

"What is this? What are you doing?" Jacob whispered. "Have you two just been playing house this whole time?"

"And? What if we were? That's none of your business?—"

"Parker, I was worried that something happened to you. If you just came out here to hook up with some guy, that's fine with me but you should've told me the truth?—"

"He's not just some guy?—"

"He's not just some guy?" Jacob quirked an eyebrow. "What are you saying right now? That this is something serious?"

"If I say it's something serious, will that make you go away faster?"

"If you say it's something serious, that means I need to go into vetting mode."

"In that case, it's just a fling?—"

"Too late." Jacob shook his head as he spoke. "You already laid your cards out on the table, Parker."

"Sure, whatever, but that doesn't mean you need to set up a game of poker," I groaned. "I've got this, Jacob. Just let me handle it?—"

"Nicholas! Welcome back." Jacob beamed over at him, just as my stomach sank.

Jacob didn't beam at people.

Which meant whatever plan he'd come up with was already being put into action.

Dear Diary—

Dear Journal?—

Dear God And/Or Whoever Else Is Listening?—

How long can I hide out in Nicholas' bedroom before either of them notice that I'm gone? Because that's my plan. Between Nicholas telling me that he wants me to stay with him here or for him to follow me back to Wild Woods HQ and Jacob showing up out of nowhere to play big brother, reality is starting to feel like a super tight squeeze.

At least my status as a main character in the made-for-TV movie is all but confirmed…

Even if I'm still not sure if this is a tragedy or not. I guess it'll all come down to how well Nicholas and Jacob get along? Assuming they don't kill each other in the next five minutes?

Nah. That's not even in the realm of possibility…

I think.

Maybe.

Possibly?

Shit.

I was sitting at the dining room table, watching the expressions on Jacob's face. I'd known him long enough to know what he was really thinking as he sized Nicholas up, as he took stock of him the same, analytical way he handled inventory closets and invoice slips. Jacob and I were pretty much the same age, but our dynamic had always been closer to big brother and little brother, him always looking out for me even when I told him I knew how to handle myself.

It was sweet in a way…

Although, right now, it was closer to terrifying. I felt like at any second, Jacob was going to openly declare that whatever I had with Nicholas was never going to work and it was time for me to pack my things and head back with him to Wild Woods HQ. And despite being a grown adult, I worried that I was so used to following his lead on the more important aspects of life that I would've packed right up and followed him out to the car.

His opinion just mattered way too much to me.

"So, Nicholas," Jacob started. "What do you do for work?"

"I'm a fireman, actually," he answered. "I've been doing it for almost ten years now."

"Ten years? That's pretty respectable." Jacob nodded. "I'm guessing that means you love the work?"

"I do, yeah. Especially when it leads to me meeting wonderful people like Parker."

"I'm sorry? Firefighting led you to meet Parker?" Jacob slightly tilted his head to the side, seemingly puzzled by the statement. "How do you mean?"

"He means that he saved my life by pulling me out of a cabin fire."

"…Cabin fire?" Jacob's expression lit up with alarm. "What cabin fire? You were staying at a cabin?"

"A dry cabin," I clarified, leaning away from the table, leaning away from Jacob, too. "That's the real reason I came out here, okay? I wanted to try my hand at a rougher wilderness experience, something I'd never really given myself the chance to try before?—"

"That's because dry cabins are for serious campers, Parker," Jacob cut me off, already in admonishment mode. "Do you know how many months it takes to prepare for something like that? I wouldn't even go out to a dry cabin without making sure that I was?—"

"I had prepped for months, Jacob," I corrected him. "I did everything I was supposed to do and it still went sideways. You know why? Because nature hates me."

"Nature doesn't hate you, Parker?—"

"I almost slipped off the side of a mountain today, Jacob. I think I know whether or not nature hates me, all right?"

"You almost slipped off the side of a mountain?" Jacob looked between Nicholas and me, growing more incredulous by the second. "Was this supposed to be a vacation or a suicide mission?"

"Nicholas saved me in both cases, by the way. The fire and the mountain," I went on. "That's what kind of person he is. He sticks his neck out for other people, whether or not he's on the clock."

Just then, Jacob's face softened. "He saved you both times, huh?"

"Yeah, he did."

Jacob let out a deep sigh as he relaxed against his chair. "Shit."

"Something wrong, Jacob?" Nicholas asked.

"Nothing's wrong. It's just…" Jacob lightly smiled as he spoke. "I'm only here because I wanted to make sure Parker was okay. I was worried he'd gotten into something over his head. But yet, here you are, keeping him safe while I thought that's what I was supposed to be doing this whole time."

Jacob then looked over at me, before he finished with his thoughts. "It's just nice to know that you're in good hands."

I smiled back at Jacob, happy with his unstated seal of approval when it came to Nicholas. I motioned toward the front door, before starting to head toward it. Jacob followed my lead, both of us standing near the doorway, while Nicholas was still seated at the dining room table.

"See? Nothing to worry about," I said, keeping my voice low. "You can head back to HQ now."

"Do you love him?"

"What?" My eyes went wide with shock. "What are you talking about?"

"Just curious. I don't think I've ever seen you look that comfortable with someone before." Jacob shrugged. "Thought there might be something deeper going on."

"Yeah, there might be," I admitted, with a quiet nod. "I don't know. I don't want to blow his whole life up just because of a feeling, you know?"

"People blow up their whole lives over feelings, Parker. There's nothing wrong with chasing something down if you think it might make you happy in the long run."

"Oh, I do not need this right now?—"

"You can't just run away from it, Parker," Jacob replied. "He seems like a nice guy, too. If you're thinking about cutting out on him, I think he deserves to know."

"I'm not thinking about cutting out on him. I'm not thinking about anything—" I started and stopped, my words feeling like they were all running into each other. "Look, I've got this, okay? I can sort this one out on my own."

"I'm sure you can." Jacob flashed a small smile. "Just let me know when and if you're coming back to Wild Woods HQ. Damon's just as worried about you as I am."

"I'll keep you updated." I offered Jacob a wave, my other hand reaching toward the doorknob as I spoke. "Bye! Bye! Get out!"

"Asshole." Jacob playfully chuckled before he turned away from the doorway, his boots crunching against the ground as he walked back to his truck outside.

"He seems nice," Nicholas said, as I made my way back to the dining room table. "A little protective of you, but who wouldn't be?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It just means that I get why people care about you." Nicholas grinned. "Now that I'm someone who cares about you, too."

I grinned right back at him. "Yeah, Jacob's always been that way. He's basically my manager, even though we're all co-owners. Just a natural leader type. Always in charge and always in control?—"

Just then, I snapped my fingers, like something was suddenly coming to me. "Holy shit. No wonder he liked you so much. You two are basically the same person. Except for the whole I-like-kissing-your-face thing. That's not something I ever want to explore with Jacob."

I literally shuddered at the thought as it crossed my mind. "Ugh. I feel like I need to bleach my brain just for bringing it up."

Nicholas laughed before he reached for my waist, gently pulling me down into his lap. He placed a hand under my jaw, making sure our eyes were locked on one another's.

"Have you thought any more about what I said?" he murmured. "About us being together?"

"It's all I've been thinking about, Nicholas."

"And?"

"And I just need a little more time to think about it, okay? I completely understand where you're coming from, I do, but I just?—"

"Hey, take all the time you need," Nicholas murmured again. "I'm willing to wait when it comes to you. However long it takes."

"See, when you say things like that it makes it so much harder." I let out a broken laugh. "What am I supposed to do with that, Nicholas?"

Nicholas reached for my hand, pressing a soft kiss against it. "You're supposed to stay. Or let me come with you. Whichever you'd prefer."

"Nicholas—" I said his name with a whimper, but before I had a chance to finish my sentence, his phone started to ring out from his pocket. He hastily answered it, holding it up to his ear, his attention seemingly still on me as he brushed his fingers along the side of my cheek.

"Tyler? What's up?"

In that moment, something shifted in Nicholas' expression, the color from his face seeming to drain.

"Are you sure?" It was the next thing out of his mouth as he gently shifted me away from his lap, now rising up to his feet. "Shit. Okay. I'll be right over."

Nicholas ended the phone call, already heading toward his bedroom. I was right behind him, concern pooling somewhere in my stomach.

Fuck.

I'd never seen Nicholas scared before. If he was scared about something, it must've been a situation that was nearly apocalyptic.

"Nicholas? What's going on?"

"There's a huge fire over at an apartment complex on Main," he answered, already pulling on a more appropriate outfit to fit under his work clothes. "I have to go. They're calling everyone in. I'll be back later once it's handled?—"

"I'm going with you."

"Parker, that's not necessary or advisable. It's much safer if you just stay here?—"

"I'm going with you," I repeated. "I don't need to try to put out the fire but if they're calling everyone in, they clearly need help. Maybe I can assist with first aid if the ambulances aren't there already?—"

"Fine, fine," Nicholas relented, "But if you want to come you have to be ready in the next sixty seconds?—"

"On it!" I shouted as I practically dove into the bedroom closet, sorting through my shirts and pants, pulling an outfit together as fast as I possibly could.

I could see why Nicholas had been scared over the phone.

The fire was blazing out of control, huge spirals of smoke emanating from the top windows of the building. It wasn't a large apartment, maybe twenty or thirty units at most, but they were all stacked on top of each other, trapped in the height of the structure. The smoke alarms were blasting all over the building, too, the sound of it drowning out nearly everything else around us, even the sirens from the fire trucks themselves.

I'd been right about the lack of ambulances, thankful that I'd insisted on coming along with him. As he took charge of a fire hose, the rest of his men lining up beside him, I made my way over to a petrified little girl, seemingly having a coughing fit.

"Just breathe through it, sweetie," I instructed, as I bent down in front of her. "It's going to be okay. The smoke just needs to clear out of your lungs but you're safe now?—"

"Sister." She coughed again and again, her words barely audible over the alarms and the trucks and everything else all mingled together. "My sister…"

"Your sister?"

"She's still inside…" She nodded toward the building, her eyes wide when she looked back down at me. "We were playing a game. I think she might still be hiding. Someone needs to get her or she'll?—"

"Nicholas! Nicholas!" I immediately moved away from her, heading back toward the fire truck, its hose lifted and ready to aim. "There's still someone inside the building!"

"Are you sure?" he asked, as he looked around the parking lot, apartment renters scattered on the concrete and the grass. "The landlord said he already ordered everyone out and they're all accounted for?—"

"There's a little girl who says she was playing with her sister and she might still be hiding?—"

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Nicholas motioned for his men to set down the hose before he pulled a mask and a tank off the truck. "Everyone hold your fucking horses! I'm going in!"

"Wait. You're—" I could barely speak out of pure shock, the fire clearly burning its way through levels of the building. There probably wasn't even a safe way to get to anyone inside and here Nicholas was, already determined to run into the flames.

No.

Not you.

Don't go.

I knew that I couldn't tell him not to go, no matter how desperately I wanted to. How was I supposed to ask him to send someone else instead? How could I ask him to risk someone else's life when he was their fearless leader?

If not Nicholas, then who?

Still, it didn't stop the crack that formed in the center of my chest, breaking me apart piece by piece, as I watched him head toward the flames.

What if he didn't come back out?

I waited…

…and waited…

…and waited…

It felt like I waited forever for Nicholas to come out of the building. Or maybe that was just how time was supposed to feel when someone I cared about was risking their life. Thankfully, it seemed like I wasn't alone in my concern, as the other men on Nicholas' team were watching the building, too, their whispers and murmurs telling me that they were looking for a safe way in, monitoring the situation until they needed to make a move.

I kept my eyes locked on the building's front door, searching for any sign of movement…

And finally, something moved.

The first person that came through the door was small, mirroring the other little girl I'd met on the grass. She was coughing just like her sister, too, the smoke clearly affecting her lungs. A few seconds more and she was rushed by EMTs pulling her up onto a gurney and hastily checking all of her vitals. I watched as she was swarmed by her family members, an older woman softly patting her hair, an older man giving her a sweet kiss on her forehead, her sister reaching up to hold her hand.

I brought my focus back to the door, waiting for the second body to come through the doorway, waiting for Nicholas to come back to me…

I waited…

…and I waited…

…and I waited…

And before I even realized it, I was headed toward the burning building.

"Parker! Hey! What the hell?" Tyler called out after me. "Where the hell do you think you're going?!"

I didn't bother answering him, my heart working a lot faster than my head, no words coming to me that could've explained my behavior. I barely knew what I was doing, following my connection to Nicholas instead of anything rational that told me I definitely shouldn't have rushed into an apartment complex that was currently on fire. Even Nicholas would've disapproved of my behavior, his voice already upset with me in the back of my mind, telling me that I needed to leave saving his life to the professionals.

And yet, here I was, smoke burning through my lungs, my eyes cloudy with it as I searched for him between the flames.

"Nicholas? Nicholas!" I hopelessly called out for him as I walked down the nearest hall. It felt like walking through actual hell, something that I hadn't thought I'd ever be willing to try.

But for Nicholas, I was willing to do whatever it took.

A few more seconds passed, and I started to get desperate, my mind beginning to assume the absolute worst. I knew what kind of man Nicholas was, which meant that if there was a situation where it was either down to him or the little girl, he would've chosen her every time. I looked up at the burning ceiling, briefly wondering about the physics of an upside-down fire before I noticed something out of the corner of my eye.

Something that looked a lot like Nicholas' body slumped over in the corner.

He was at the very end of the hallway, so I ran over to him as fast as I could.

"Nicholas!" I screamed his name as I grabbed onto his shoulders, trying my best to shake him awake. Despite my best efforts, he didn't respond. He seemed knocked out cold. I quickly gave up on trying to wake him up myself, knowing that the smartest thing I could do was pull his body out of the burning building before we were both trapped inside. I slid my hands underneath his shoulders, pulling him back toward the entrance of the building…

But with every pull of his much larger body, I felt myself getting dizzier, getting more tired, the way to the front seeming so much blurrier than before…

I pushed through the feeling, the way the warmth at the edges of my brain threatened to take over, to pull me down into darkness. I didn't stop until I knew we were close to the front of the apartment complex, the door so close I could've reached out and touched it…

Which was exactly what I did, my fingers brushing against the back of it…

Before the darkness finally made good on its threat, claiming me, everything around me melting into black as I fell right into its void, the darkness suddenly beside me, in front of me, everywhere I could've looked.

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