7. Leia

Chapter 7

I released Nic and spun around, my arms wide—exactly as I used to do as a child, breathing in the same familiar scents of the flowers Mom favored and spent hours tending. "I can't believe this."

He chuckled, the sound warm as it washed over me. "There's more garden to see."

I glanced off in the direction of the water. I could barely hear it from here, but the familiar sound as it lapped directly against the lawn was easily brought to mind.

"Want to explore?" Nic's fingers curled around mine, and he looked at me, one eyebrow raised and a lazy smile teasing at his lips.

"Always." Being with him like this again felt so normal and natural.

He led the way between trees and bushes that looked as though they'd been in place for years. He'd turned the garden into a paradise that looked as though it had been established for years, and when he stopped, I pressed my hand over my mouth to stifle a giggle.

"A fig tree, Mr. Dupont?"

He grinned again. "I know your mom didn't have one in her garden, but I thought you might appreciate it."

I walked closer to him, not stopping until I lifted myself on tiptoe and my breasts pressed against his chest. "I think I might appreciate it very much," I murmured as I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.

For a moment, he just let me kiss him, then his lips moved beneath mine and he drew me closer to him by tugging on the belt loops of my jeans. He moved his hands to my ass as he turned us so my back rested against the trunk of a towering bald cypress. I breathed in the herby, evergreen scent and touched Nic's lips with the tip of my tongue.

He responded immediately, sliding his tongue into my mouth, and intensifying our kiss, and it would have been so easy to lose myself in him. I nearly did. My hands were in his hair, my body straining toward his as I let go completely.

But the memory of Sebastian's lips at my neck flashed through my mind, and I jerked backward, slamming my head against the tree trunk behind me.

"You okay?" Nic met my eyes, concern obvious in his as he smoothed the back of my head.

I shivered a little, my mood for kissing evaporating. "Yeah." I wasn't mad at Nic but I needed a little time to process the events I'd instigated. "It's just been a big couple of days."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah. I guess it has. Would it help if we stayed here for a little while instead of returning to Vitam Immortalem?"

Nic rarely gave his home its name when he spoke about it, but I'd looked it up.

It meant Eternal Life.

And that reminder of everything I didn't have, everything I'd nearly accepted from Sebastian, was a cold slice through my chest. I stood a little straighter.

I glanced toward my house—my beautiful, newly renovated house. "I know it's not as grand as yours," I started.

"It's your home." Nic cut across me and voiced the simple words I'd been thinking but couldn't seem to find the courage to voice in case I just sounded ungrateful.

Unexpected tears filled my eyes. "It's my home," I agreed on a whisper.

Hell, it hadn't been truly a home for a long time, but now it was again—thanks to Nic, and he was happy to let me experience living here again. Even to join me.

The kiss he pressed to the edge of my jaw was tender and gentle. Nothing pushy or expectant in it. "I just want you to be happy," he whispered. "I want to make you happy."

I shifted a little, my clothes shushing over the bark behind me.

"I'll do anything," he murmured, his mouth hovering at the crook of my neck, his breath fanning against my skin.

I froze, each of my muscles tensing. "Anything?"

His breathing stopped. No air seemed to move in or out of his body as he stood like a statue in front of me. Sudden tension radiated from him, and it was like the air around us electrified.

But he'd said anything, so anything was fair game. He'd led me right to the question, and I couldn't back away. I knew what I wanted. Nic knew what I wanted. Even fucking Sebastian now knew what I wanted.

I grimaced.

"Anything at all?" I tried again, pushing him just a little, trying to figure out how serious he was.

He swallowed.

I waited.

Finally, he blew out a sigh, and I let my shoulders drop. Disappointment lodged in my chest, growing until I could taste it. Nic didn't even need to speak. I could quote the script for him, and I did, my voice robotic.

"It shouldn't be done in anger," I said. "It's about love. You'll avenge my father for me."

Nic looked up, his gray eyes swirling with emotions I couldn't define. They were like low clouds scudding over an ocean, today. Not quite signaling rain, but not entirely peaceful, either.

"All of those thing, yes," he said.

But there were more words he closed his mouth against. For the first time, there seemed to be things Nicolas Dupont was afraid to say.

"Why the conflict, Nic?" I kept my voice quiet, but I couldn't entirely disguise my curiosity.

He sighed again, and it sounded like it came from the depths of his soul. "So many things." He spoke on an exhale. "I want nothing more than to make you mine. I just can't…yet."

He spoke the last word so quietly I barely heard it. It was like the ghost of a promise.

But it reignited something I didn't understand. "Nic?"

He focused as he met my gaze. "Yes?"

I waited a moment to think about how to phrase my question, the wind rustling through the trees around us. "I know you keep saying it's about love, not anger."

He nodded.

"And I can almost understand it. Like, your reasons seem to make sense, based on the few details I understand. But why was it different for Sebastian? He was happy to turn me." I waited, unsure how mentioning his brother would affect our conversation.

Nic turned his head, looking out across the gardens. "He was careless. Arrogant, even. Sebastian was selfish when you asked him to turn you. He didn't consider the impact on you."

"He…"

Nic looked back at me, and I swallowed before trying again.

"He didn't agree right away." I glanced down as I spoke, remembering how I'd almost had to cajole Sebastian to my point of view.

Nic's jaw remained tense as he nodded. "That small act of chivalry won't save him. He knows better than to turn another man's mate. Particularly my mate." His eyes turned bleak. "I am his king and his brother."

I nodded. The finer points of vampire politics still eluded me, but I knew when I'd stepped in something I shouldn't have. "Did I do the wrong thing?"

Nic suddenly crushed me to his chest, squeezing the breath from me with the strength of his embrace.

"No. He did…Well, maybe, yes, but you didn't know you were. I can't hold it against you because I should have explained better. I did the wrong thing too, and now we all know better." He chuckled a little bitterly as he loosened his hold. "But whatever happens in the future, please know this. There's nothing I'd like more than to bring you Francois's head and for you to know retribution has been served."

When I nodded this time, it was in the knowledge that Nic hadn't closed the door completely to making me vampire himself. He'd said no matter what happens in the future, which at least meant something could happen.

I grabbed that potential and screwed it into a ball to sustain me. I could still yet be powerful enough to take Francois on my own.

"Shall we walk a little?"

I nodded at his suggestion. I was only prepared to push the turning argument so far. In reality, I wanted to run and make myself safe from confrontation.

Maybe I'd been kidding myself these past few years that I was becoming stronger and more confident, dealing with my shit. Watching Dad die had brought my insecurities rushing back—all the survival shit that being the daughter of an alcoholic had conditioned in me.

Right now, I wanted to hide. I ducked my head and took the hand Nic offered. Avoiding this conversation suddenly seemed like a matter of survival. Like so many other conversations over the years that had the power to destroy me.

I'd lived in fear of opening Pandora's Box more years than I cared to count, always afraid of pushing Dad over the edge he teetered so close to, or finding out things I couldn't unknow. Maintaining silence and distance was my ultimate protection, and it had served me well.

"What are you thinking?" Nic looked at me, his brows drawn down curiously. He squeezed my hand gently. "Penny for them."

I laughed. "They're not worth even that much."

He steered us down a white gravel path, and the sweet scent of almond verbena enticing as we walked. Crepe myrtles lined the path further on, and I grinned as I recalled the way Mom had trained them into arches. She's always told me I'd walk beneath them toward the man I was about to marry. I'd forgotten that memory, and it was bittersweet now.

"I'd pay far more than pennies for your thoughts, Leia."

I sucked in a breath at the low urgency in his voice. He really meant it.

"I'd like to know, if you're willing to share?" he probed gently, and I lost the will to keep everything hidden.

"I was a bit lost in my memories." I glanced up at him, and he nodded consideringly.

"Because of the restoration of the garden?"

"That—" I reached out and caressed a leaf gently as we passed by a banana shrub. "And also because just everything is throwing up reminders of the past. Since Dad's death, I've been a bit lost in the past and things I should've done or could've done. Things I did that maybe I shouldn't have." I shrugged. "I don't know. It's all thrown up a lot of the insecurities I thought I'd moved past."

I took a deep breath, my sudden vulnerability sitting uncomfortably in my throat. I swallowed, but the slightly lightheaded feeling that accompanied me laying myself bare to Nic's judgment continued.

"You were the adult, taking care of everything." Nic was matter-of-fact as he focused ahead, giving me the illusion of privacy by not looking at me.

I released my breath as a whoosh. "Yes, I was. Dealing with Dad every day, managing him along with running the bar, involved a lot of walking on eggshells."

Nic tensed. "Did Jean ever hurt you?"

I shook my head. "He wasn't violent." Then I reconsidered. "Well, occasionally he'd smash or break things, but his violence was never directed at me. In a way, it was sadder than anything. He was a pretty miserable drunk. Morose, even. He'd get lost in memories, and I was almost scared he'd never come back."

"I didn't know if I'd get you back after what Francois did." Nic spoke in a tone shaded with vulnerability.

I left that comment alone. Following the threads of his thoughts would only lead me back to being turned and my wishes to kill Francois myself. The longer I remained quiet, the more my courage faltered.

Nic didn't need to know the blackest moments of my life. Not now anyway. And confession wasn't particularly good for my soul. I carefully slipped the memories back where I kept them and padlocked them away. They'd keep.

"Show me the rest of the gardens?" I injected some enthusiasm into my tone, and Nic grinned at me.

"Where would you like to start?"

I shook my head. "Surprise me."

"Well…" His grin widened. "I did take some liberties. There are some design features that weren't put here by your mom."

"I'm intrigued." Excitement fizzed inside me. Nic had taken a personal interest in the design of the garden. "Was it just the fig tree?"

"Nope." He pressed his lips together but his eyes sparkled with mischief. Then he dropped my hand and stepped behind me to cover my eyes.

"Nic." His name was a breath as it left my lips.

"Yes?" His voice deepened as he leaned forward to kiss the side of my neck.

My pulse spiked. Without the use of my eyes, every other sense was heightened, and it was like I could sense Nic. My skin prickled at his proximity, my breathing hitched at his touch, and for just a moment I flashed back to soft, sweet-smelling grass beneath my head, fig juice over my skin, and Nic moving inside me.

Nic groaned slightly like he was aware of my thoughts and pressed his mouth to the side of my neck again, this time lingering, and his tongue brushed gently over where my pulse fluttered. My knees weakened, and his hold around me strengthened as my arousal grew.

I wanted him.

"Leia." He murmured my name before fabric rustled and he moved around me, his vampire speed on display as he captured my lips beneath his. I responded immediately. My body always wanted him, and I pressed against him as I twined my arms around his neck, my fingers already in his hair.

"I wanted to show you the gardens," he mumbled briefly.

"Show me later." Something about the heavy, green scent surrounding us and Nic's body pressed against mine made me almost wanton, and I swallowed a moan. "Please."

"What are you asking for, Leia?" He drew back, putting the smallest distance between our mouths.

"You." The word burst from me. "Only you."

I pressed our lips back together, desire for Nic turning my blood molten as it coursed through me.

He groaned softly and crushed me harder against him, his hands in my hair, tugging on the strands until my scalp tingled. I worked his shirt loose from his pants and slid my fingers over his abs, exploring the dips and ripples of his muscles as they shifted under my touch.

I wanted this man. All thoughts of anger and disappointment were gone, replaced with the raw need only he evoked in me. I slid my hands back to his waist and worked to unfasten his belt and pants. The belt jingled, and I grinned against his mouth as I smoothed over the bulge I found. It moved under my palm, and I stroked him again.

I pressed closer to him. I needed him hard and fast, and I needed him now. Without thought or doubt or too much analyzing. Just us.

Together.

Pure physical chemistry.

"Please, Nic." I whispered my desire to him again, and he drew back.

"Please what?" His eyes were the soft red of desire, and his voice was rough and low.

"Fuck me." My simple words hung in the air for a moment before he lifted me so my legs draped over his hips and his erection ground at the seam of my jeans.

I tore my lips from his. "Too many clothes," I mumbled.

He set me down, drawing me down the length of his cock as he did so, and I pushed my jeans and panties off my legs, thankful I'd worn slip-on shoes.

When Nic lifted me against him again, the head of his cock bumped against my skin, and I was wet with need. I wanted that connection, the way he filled me, the intimacy, and I tightened my legs around his waist as I hovered my face over his then kissed him hungrily.

If I was starving, I would only ever need Nic. Our bond was like nothing I'd ever experienced.

He thrust upward, the movement sudden, and he entered me in one quick stroke. My gasp of pleasure was muffled against him, and I grinned as he braced his arms behind me, protecting me from friction against the tree as he thrust in and out of my body.

He wouldn't tire—he never did, and his vampire strength and speed were both in evidence now.

"Touch yourself," he ground out. "I want you so much. I can't hold back."

His face creased in what looked like a mixture of concentration and pain, and I slipped my hand between us before using my fingertip to gently roll my clit.

I gasped as electricity prickled through me, lighting me up, and I did it again, faster this time, nudging against Nic entering me as I did. Shit, I wanted this. I pressed harder, chasing my orgasm as Nic chased his, his breathing emerging as harsh panting at my ear.

"Fuck, Leia," he murmured. "Fuck, you feel good."

As he spoke, my body began to tighten and I drew in a long breath then held it, riding out the wave as I spasmed around Nic's cock, squeezing him and interrupting his rhythm.

He thrust harder, quicker, until he held still and groaned against my neck. As I blew out my breath slowly, relishing the lazy relaxation weighting each of my limbs, Nic thrust a last couple of times and kissed my neck gently.

He chuckled. "You want to see the rest of the garden now?"

I tightened my arms around his neck and lifted myself against him, eliciting a small groan from him as I drew myself off his cock. Scattered around the garden we were in were statues, milky white in the darkening evening.

"What's this?" I looked closer, resting my chin on the top of his head as I took in the scene and scent of native Louisiana plant-life interspersed with statues that looked… Hell, Greek? Roman?... in origin. "What is this? More Dupont family heirlooms?"

"Uh…" Nic cleared his throat. "You like them?"

He carefully lowered me to the ground, and I reached for my pants, still glancing around as I did. "You know, I kinda do. I can wander around here and pretend I'm Medusa, or something."

Not quite a vampire, but a gargoyle fantasy would have to do for now.

We wandered a little further, and I took in all the ways he'd reawakened Mom's garden. Emotion welled up inside me, and a sob caught in my throat without warning.

Nic glanced at me at the sudden sound, but he was blurry through the tears that had gathered in my eyes. I swiped a hand over my face.

"Sorry," I croaked out. "I don't know why I'm…"

He tugged me to him, wrapping me in his familiar, spicy scent, and I didn't try to contain my grief any longer. I cried as though Mom had only just died, like I'd lost her all over again, and Nic just held me. Something constant just for me.

As my tears slowed, I glanced around the gardens, my eyes aching and swollen. "I don't think I can stay tonight after all, Nic. I don't think I can go in the house."

I could see Mom everywhere. The gardens were beautiful, but they had resurrected her ghost as surely as if she'd been turned.

"Okay." Nic kissed my temple and smoothed a hand down my back. "We can return whenever you want. You just say the word."

Then he took my hand and led me back to his car instead. Back home.