6. Nic

Chapter 6

I could barely think. Only see Leia, her eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears. I lurched away from her as anger pulsed through me like an entirely separate entity. Like it had a life of its own—one I couldn't control. But quick to follow that anger was grief.

I turned away from Leia, catching a glimpse of myself in an old, age-spotted mirror as I did. Shit. I hadn't lost this much control in years. Drawing a deep breath, I focused inward, trying to will myself calm.

Sebastian had lurched away from me and collapsed in a corner, his breathing heavy. "Brother," he gasped, and I snapped my full attention to him, moving to loom over him.

"How dare you call me that," I ground out, my anger rising again at his betrayal.

"You wouldn't help her," he wheezed. "I just wanted to…"

"I know what you wanted." I dropped my voice lower as I moved closer to him. "You wanted my mate bound to you forever. You were fucking trying to take her again. Again, Sebastian."

Anger vibrated through me again. I could have lit up the whole room with the excess energy.

It took everything in me not to bring about my own brother's final death right then.

He lifted his gaze to meet mine. His eyes were swelling shut, but defiance still glinted in the depths of them.

"She's my queen." His whisper was hoarse. "I was giving her what she wanted."

What she wanted.

She'd asked me to turn her every single day since we returned from the safehouse. Every single fucking day, and I'd refused.

But this was no better. Sebastian fucking knew better. I clenched my fist. The urge to destroy still claimed me.

"And I am your king." I wanted to roar the word, but Leia's fear still perfumed the room, the scent bitter. I spoke from between gritted teeth, instead. "I should see you to your final death for this."

If I'd expected Sebastian to show remorse, I was wrong. Instead, he lifted his chin, bold even now.

"You should have looked after your mate, brother." Sebastian shook his head slightly, his admonition clear. "You should have listened to what she wanted and why."

I smashed my closed fist against the wall by his head, the drywall falling away in one big chunk, and Leia gasped. I closed my eyes. The damage didn't bother me—I knew guys who could fix any amount of damage I could wreak—but her fear did.

My mate shouldn't be scared of me. I didn't want to believe the things Sebastian said, but maybe I'd been wrong. Leia shifted, and I breathed in her scent at the movement. Should I have turned her myself? I shook my head.

No… No, surely not. The Book of Gray had said anger wasn't the way.

But glancing around the pokey bedroom in this small apartment above The Pour House, where my brother had almost taken everything from me—well, this was no fucking better.

Whatever the Book of Gray cautioned, I could have worked it out, worked around it if I'd just been given enough time. I was fucking king. No one stole my mate from me. Not the dusty pages of an out-of-date book and certainly not my own brother.

I scoffed as I stood over Sebastian. "You nearly just took everything from me. Is it my throne you want?"

But even as I asked the question, I knew. Sebastian didn't want my throne. He only wanted Leia. He'd always wanted Leia. His need caused him to lose control of himself, apparently. Make bad decisions. Would he always be a threat?

I smashed the wall again, taking little comfort as more drywall crumbled. Razing the entire building wouldn't help me. Even fucking killing Sebastian wouldn't help me this point. Pain opened a wide chasm inside me, and I drew a deep, ragged breath.

Mother would never forgive me if I killed her made son.

"I should kill you." I repeated my earlier threat, but we both knew it was empty.

"Maybe you should," he agreed, his tone suddenly conversational. "Because I'd make the same decision all over again if Leia asked me to."

Fury made it so I could barely see. I smashed my fist into his face, taking satisfaction at the crunch of bone before his head lolled forward and he was finally quiet.

Leia made a muffled noise behind me, and I turned to her, wanting nothing more to wrap my arms around her and hold her against me, reassure myself she was still mine. But when I turned to her again, her wide eyes and pale face stopped me from reaching out.

She backed up to the bed, almost scrambling away from me, and I gestured forward with my hands, the claws tipping my fingers capturing my attention.

Shit. Of course she didn't want to be anywhere near me—I looked like a monster. Still, the anger coursing through me only fueled my appearance. I took some deep breaths and closed my eyes, trying to calm myself and slow my system.

I could enter almost a meditative state if I wanted. As I focused on my breathing, the tension in my face eased and the burning behind my eyes stopped. My fingertips tingled as my claws receded, and when I was sure I looked normal again, I opened my eyes and reached for Leia.

She had her hands over her face and had drawn her legs up to her chest.

"Leia." I murmured her name as I dropped to my knees by the bed. "Leia. It's okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let you see that."

"What are you doing here?" She didn't even peer between her fingers.

I touched her finger, but she flinched, and I dropped my hand back to my side. "Please don't be afraid," I whispered. "Look at me. I love you."

Slowly, she moved her fingers until I could just see her brown eyes behind them.

"I was protecting you." I didn't need to justify my actions against Sebastian's transgression, but maybe I needed to let Leia know there was nothing I wouldn't do for her. "Your pain… It was so vivid. It called to me. You needed me." I paused and shook my head. "Sebastian shouldn't have done that."

"I asked him to." Her whisper was cracked and dry and half-broken. "I asked him to turn me."

My chest hollowed. "You did what?" It didn't seem possible for my mate to want someone else to make her vampire. The room expanded around me before compressing back own until I was claustrophobic in the space, and I struggled to take my next breath. "Why would you do that?"

She shrugged. "Because I needed him to."

I released a slow exhale. "But why him? Why my brother?"

She shrugged again, and the rise and fall of her shoulders exposed the bite marks at her neck. Blood still trickled lazily from them, almost reigniting my fury. The wound was jagged and red. He hadn't even been careful.

I reached out again. "Is it sore?"

"Not really." Her words were quiet. "Why did you stop him?"

I plucked the handkerchief from my pocket and dabbed gently at her neck, channeling all of my energy into caring for her. "Because you're mine."

I kept my voice low and measured, the sentiment inarguable.

"But…" She faltered. "But you wouldn't. I thought that this would be…would be…"

I stopped dabbing at her skin and waited, hardly daring to look at her as she lowered her hands from her face.

"It was supposed to be easier. I wouldn't need to keep asking you. I could just get it done by myself and I'd just be stronger. On my own. No one's responsibility. No one's burden."

I sighed again and resumed stroking over her skin. The blood was gone now, but the puncture wounds still looked angry. "It's not like that. I thought you understood my reasons?"

"The anger?"

I nodded.

"Anger fades." She half-smiled. "Determination doesn't."

My lips lifted in response. "No, I see that. I don't think I understood."

Tension started easing from her. "Sebastian did."

I cast a glance at my brother, still just lying in the corner of the room. Even if he regained consciousness, he knew better than to leave. He'd accept his punishment or face my wrath.

"Sebastian also knew better. Turning my mate is an honor and privilege meant only for me." I looked at Sebastian's puncture marks on Leia's neck one more time, and the need to erase them completely consumed me. "May I heal you?"

She nodded slowly and arched her neck toward me. I leaned toward her and kissed the edge of her jaw. She inhaled a sharp breath and her heart rate increased. I relaxed a little—she was still mine, her body still responded to my proximity, my touch. Slowly, I trailed my lips to her neck, planting soft kisses as I moved, until I flicked my tongue over the bite, inducing a shiver in my mate.

She whispered softly and I grinned just a little as satisfaction filled my chest. Yes, she was still mine.

I laid one last lick over the healed bite my brother had marred my bride with and released my hold on her. She sat back, her movements wary as she switched her glance between me and Sebastian.

"I'll call someone to pick him up," I said as I reached for my phone.

"What are you going to do to him?"

Irritation flared at her concern for him but I pressed it back down. Leia didn't understand vampire politics or hierarchy. Or territorial natures or even diplomacy, apparently.

But I hadn't explained it all to her. I couldn't expect her to understand.

"I'm going to put him in the cells until I decide." I shook my head. "I'll have to tell Mother. He's her son."

And really, she needed to control him better. I shook my head. I could tell her, and we'd argue about his punishment later. I'd probably defer to her wishes regardless.

"Why did you come here?" Leia looked genuinely curious.

"Because you're mine. You aren't Sebastian's." I could keep telling her that, but I didn't know if she'd really understand. "Because I need to take you home."

She yawned. "I know it's early still, but I'm really tired."

I frowned. "Sebastian took too much." I held out my hand. "Let's go home."

For a moment, I thought she might reject me, and my heart squeezed in anticipation, but eventually she nodded slowly, and I took her hand to steady her as she climbed from the bed.

She wobbled a little as she stood up and blew out a rush of air. "Head spin," she mumbled, and I shot Sebastian a glare.

My phone was still in my hand, Ben's number on the screen, ready for me to call him. It was either him or Kyle. Maybe both. I wanted Jason at home, helping Aimée to guard Leia. I hadn't anticipated her sneaking away, and especially not to meet Sebastian as part of a plot to get him to turn her.

Perhaps I should have done it already, but all the advice cautioned about creating angry fledglings. But Leia tied to another man was far worse. I wouldn't ever be able to reverse that.

I pressed to connect to Benedict as we walked from the bedroom.

"Hi. Yeah. Sebastian's in the apartment above the bar. He needs a ride to the cells at La Petite Mort. Kyle is available if you need him." I waited a moment, but Benedict didn't ask any questions, merely murmured his assent.

Leia looked at me as I disconnected the call. "You aren't going to kill him, are you?"

"I should." I bit the words out, still angry with my brother. The fucker. What the hell had he been thinking?

"But it would be my fault. Don't make me responsible for Sebastian's final death."

I shook my head. "Sebastian has only himself to blame. You didn't know what you were asking him."

"Maybe not." Leia's voice grew quiet. "But I knew that something about it felt wrong, in the moments right before. I should have stopped it, but I could only think of my parents."

I didn't answer right away as I helped her into the car. Then I walked to the driver's side and climbed in. Leia watched me almost expectantly, like she was waiting for my reply.

"I'm sorry I got it wrong," she said.

"It's okay." I started the engine. "I think there are probably a few things I've gotten wrong, too."

I rubbed my hand over my face. I'd nearly lost Leia again. Sebastian had nearly stolen her from me in an unforgiveable way.

Her change to vampire belonged solely to me as her true mate. My skin prickled at the disrespect he'd shown.

I drove in silence, checking on Leia periodically as her eyelids fluttered.

Fucking Sebastian.

When I drew up in front of the house, I unfastened her seatbelt. "I should get you to bed. You need to rest."

Her eyes flew open, panic clear in her gaze. "Not in your wing, though."

I nodded slowly. "All right. But why?"

"A vampire lives there," she murmured. "Earlier…" She cleared her throat. "Earlier you looked…"

I nodded again, the movement brisk. "I'll take you to your room. You can stay in there until you're ready to return to me." I brushed a kiss over her knuckles. "I want you to always feel safe, Leia."

She stared at her knuckles. "I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to get what I need."

"I know."

I pushed closer to Leia, my arm draped loosely over her waist as I protected her with my body, curving myself to her spine. She murmured a little and pressed back against me like she was seeking warmth or protection. I kissed the side of her neck, trying to be soft and not wake her.

She stirred anyway.

"Good morning," I whispered. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep if you like."

She squirmed and stretched a little. "No, I'm good. Who's babysitting me today?" She half-turned to look at me over her shoulder, and her brown eyes melted me as always.

"Actually, I have a surprise for you, if you're up for it?"

Her eyes widened a little. "What surprise?"

I chuckled. "Now if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise."

Then I kissed her neck again and she arched toward me.

"I could reward you for telling me?" she suggested.

I groaned as my cock twitched at my awareness of her soft skin pressed against mine. "I'm sure you could," I agreed, "but I really want to surprise you."

"Okay." She sounded thoughtful. "So not even this will persuade you?" She reached behind her and took my shaft in her hand.

"Hey." But my chastisement was gentle when my body reacted to her right away. I shifted slightly away, and she turned, a small pout teasing her lips.

"You don't want me to touch you?"

"I want to surprise you more, Leia. You're my priority today." I'd let her down enough, not understanding her desperation to be vampire.

"Okay."

I bit back the disappointment that she'd agreed so quickly, but staying in bed really wasn't my plan for this morning. I had so much more to show her. "Breakfast on the go or Chef's beignets?"

It was like almost no choice at all, and Leia rolled her eyes. "Beignets," she said, in the same tone as duh.

After a shower and quick stop in the dining room for breakfast, I led her out to the car.

"Where are we going?" she asked, making her eyes wide and innocent.

I laughed. Things were almost back to normal between us, and my chest loosened as I shed some of the tension I'd been holding from her sadness and the fact I couldn't fix it. She seemed less angry today.

I'd let go of my initial rage of seeing Sebastian on her neck, too. I'd wanted to kill Sebastian, but I'd also been angry at Leia for her betrayal. Only she hadn't really understood.

All she'd known was that I refused to do what she'd thought she needed, so she'd defaulted to the same behavior that had kept her alive and moving forward for all the years since her mom died—she'd tried to meet her own needs the only way that made sense to her.

I hadn't explained how sacred it was for a vampire to be the one to turn his human mate, and I hadn't been able to explain my own more personal fears about turning her changing the essence of who she was.

No wonder it had just looked like I was putting up fucking roadblocks.

As if she could read my thoughts, she half watched me as I climbed into the car beside her. "I haven't forgotten that I want to be turned, you know," she said, her tone completely neutral.

I nodded my head in concession. "I know."

As we traveled toward Leia's house, she sat a little forward on her seat, and I reached for her hand. Maybe this was a stupid place to bring her. Her last memories of being in her place couldn't be good ones. Francois and his army had captured her directly from the bedroom I'd created for her there.

But she looked at me, her eyes gleaming, and her tone was excited when she spoke. "Am I going home?"

I nodded.

"Is my month up?" She tapped her chin thoughtfully, and I tightened my hand a little around hers.

"I really hope you don't think so."

She tilted her head and made a humming sound. "It doesn't feel like a month?"

I played along as I lifted her hand to my mouth and kissed the back of it. "Then our time together can't be over."

"But you're still taking me home?"

I nodded. "Yes, the work is completely finished now, but I want your approval on it all in case it needs any changes."

She nodded and sat back again, but her heart accelerated.

A short while later, I drew into her driveway, and she gasped as she lifted her hands to her chest. "The gardens."

"They're the last thing to have been properly completed." I glanced around as I spoke. Every single one of my instructions had been followed. "Are they as you remember them?"

She nodded as I rolled to a stop. "They're perfect." She opened the door and got out. "Everything even smells the same. How did you know?"

I chuckled as I followed her farther onto the lawn, watching as she trailed her hands over leaves and petals. "I've walked these gardens at the height of their beauty many times."

She stopped walking and turned so fast that I bumped into her. Then she threw her arms around my neck and pressed a firm kiss to my mouth. "Thank you, Nic."