15. Nic

Chapter 15

I rewound the footage and hit play again. We lost the visual once the bathroom door closed, so I never got to see the attack, but there was no mistaking Valérie stealthily following Leia, and Leia completely oblivious to the danger.

"Where were you?" I glanced at Jason and Kyle, both silent as they stood before me.

Kyle stared, stony-faced at the footage I had on repeat, like another viewing might reveal something new, and Jason kept his gaze on the floor after the first run-through.

"On the main floor… There were some guys…" Jason sighed and raked his hand through his hair. "A distraction."

He gestured at the other screen, the one with the paused footage on. We'd just watched Valérie in conversation with the guys in the shot, and shortly after they'd started smashing glasses and chairs over each other.

"But you were there to watch Leia. Not to prevent other people from killing themselves and each other."

"It was too much for the regular bouncers to handle. Innocents were being hurt." Kyle shifted his stance to at-ease, his unblinking gaze somewhere over my left shoulder.

Rage roared through me, more at the thought of Leia in danger than at my men, and I stood with a bellow, shoving everything off my desk. My computer crashed to the floor and the screen went black. A paperweight rolled to the corner of the room, and files spilled their contents over the floor.

I never should have agreed to Leia and Aimée attending the nightclub. I slammed my fist through the sheetrock. There was too much risk for her in my world. A mirror cracked as I ripped it from the wall, and I shredded the couch cushions before flipping it onto its back.

Then I prowled the small space like a predator without prey. Nothing to hunt, nothing to kill and too much energy cracking through me. The need to destroy didn't dissipate, and my hands formed tight fists at my sides.

Never again.

The words echoed through my mind.

I lifted slammed my chair and slammed it down, the crunch of one of the wheels snapping off only part-satisfying my need to destroy. Like Leia had almost been destroyed. Like my whole fucking life had almost been destroyed.

I'd lose Leia if I didn't turn her. I was looking at my exact fucking future.

Jason stepped forward, his arms out like he'd try to restrain me. "No, Nic," he murmured. "Stop."

But I couldn't. I didn't fucking want to.

I'd nearly lost everything. I still stood to lose every fucking thing that mattered. I reached for Jason, my fingernails almost claws, my fangs fully descended, looking for an outlet for my anger and pain.

But he met my gaze, his eyes clear and accepting, and I blinked, pulling myself back from the edge. Jason was my sire. He trusted me like I wanted Leia to trust me, unquestioningly. I pulled him into a hug, and he hesitated for a moment before he accepted my show of affection and understood my need to ground myself.

He chuckled softly. "You need to turn her, Nic. You need to make her one of us or it'll make you crazy."

I shook my head. "For real. This true mate shit's worse than dead man's blood. I'll be crazy in half the time."

We all grimaced as I referenced the one substance known to induce a spiral of madness in any vampire dosed with it.

"But you can come back from this," Jason insisted. "There's a cure for your craziness."

"It could be argued it's of your own making," Kyle added.

"But what if she doesn't want to?" I scrubbed my palms over my face then raked my fingers through my hair, careless of how it looked. "What if she doesn't want to be my eternal bride?"

Jason laughed. "Have you seen the way she looks at you?"

"A look isn't consent to be turned," I argued, the first flicker of irritation returning.

"Your misery is of your own making," Kyle said, his voice flat. "And your objections are academic. There's no saving Leia from what you've already done to her. At this point, you either save her and turn her, or you allow her to become a thrall. There is no way to leave her in this moment, untouched. You've started a process you can't stop, and it's time you took responsibility for that."

"Kyle." Jason's voice was filled with disbelief and warning.

"No." All fight left me. "He's right. I've done things I can't undo, and now I need to see it through to the end. I need to confess to Leia and hope she doesn't hate me." I grimaced.

Kyle had dug right into my private source of worry and shame and all the things I didn't want to face.

I wanted turning Leia to be for love, not necessity, but the longer I left it, the less chance I had to make it that way.

My phone rang before I could explain myself further, and I sighed. It felt like a lucky escape as I reached underneath the couch to retrieve it from where my tantrum had left it. Further explanation of my feelings could lead to me looking weak, and I was still king. I couldn't afford to look weak in front of anyone. One moment of loss of control was already one too many.

Leia's name flashed on the screen, and I smiled automatically.

"Hey, I was just thinking about you." That much was true, anyway. It was always true lately.

But even before she spoke, panic flooded me, and I lowered myself into a crouch. What the hell? First, uncontrollable rage, now panic that almost took my balance?

"Leia? Is everything okay?" But it wasn't. I already knew that much. "What's wrong?"

"You need to come home."

But I'd already anticipated her need, and I was racing down the back stairs, taking them two at a time as I ran toward my car. I didn't need to wait for Jenkins because I'd driven myself. I preferred being able to return to Leia whenever I wanted now.

My tires squealed as I peeled away from my parking spot. I'd need to contact Jason and Kyle and explain my abrupt departure, but they weren't my priority.

"What's wrong?" Worry had fogged my mind. She wouldn't call unless it was urgent. "Are you hurt? Injured? Under attack?" Surely not in my fucking home. "Hold on, I'm on my way."

"Nic."

"I'm heading toward you now. I won't be long." I watched the speedo needle climb.

"Nic."

"Yes?" I forced myself to focus.

"It's not me. I'm not hurt. I'm fine."

But something was still wrong. I wasn't imagining that. "Then what is it?" I didn't slow down. The urgency to get home still existed. Maybe she was injured somehow.

"It's Dad. The rehab center called. He's missing."

Oh, thank fuck. For a moment, I took my foot off the gas and coasted as relief coursed through me. It was only Jean. Jean was the problem, which was still a problem, only not as urgent.

"What do you mean, missing?" Had he run away, broken our deal?

"That's the thing." She sucked in a breath. "They don't know what's going on. They only know he didn't show up to today's meetings. They don't know when he left or why. And all of his shit is still there. He didn't take anything."

I flicked the turn signal and slowed to make my turn. "Nothing?" That didn't sound right. "I mean, if he was leaving, sure, travel light, but nothing at all?"

I imagined her nodding. "I know." She sounded grim. "I'm worried."

I barely withheld a sigh of relief, though. I could handle Jean being missing, maybe even fix the problem and make everything all right again, but I wasn't sure what I would have done if it had been Leia again.

I arrived back at the house, ditching the car at the bottom of the steps. Jenkins would handle putting it away. Leia emerged from behind the front door and I bounded toward her.

She was dressed in blue jeans and a cropped leather jacket, and she held her hand out. "Keys."

"Wait, what?" I caught her in my arms, pressing her face to my chest, inhaling the scent of her hair, breathing deeply to reassure myself she was really okay. "When you called, I thought something had happened to you. Why do you want the keys?"

Huffing, she drew away. "Holy crap, Nic—so I can get out there and find him! Are you coming?"

I slipped the keys into my pocket and took Leia's upper arm, trying to steer her back inside. "No. We need to do this sensibly. Let me call the guys. We'll have a meeting to decide the best course of action. It's not safe off the property for you. I've made that mistake too many times."

"But I can't just sit around, knowing Dad's out there somewhere." She looked up at me, and Baldwin closed the door behind us.

I shrugged. "But maybe he just ditched rehab. He could be on his way here right now to beg you to let him into the house or drink at the bar."

"Nic." She threw her arms up, her frustration evident. "Why is it more likely that he ditched rehab than someone like Francois got him? We're in the middle of a war. You keep telling me you're fighting a war. You won't tell me anything about that war, but what if my dad got caught up in it, too?" Her eyes glistened, and she took a deep breath. "I know you probably don't think it's very likely, but neither of us expected me to be abducted, either."

I nodded, acknowledging her words but nothing more. "I can't take the risk that you're chasing a shadow, Leia. You might head out there like Jean's own personal savior—a role I know you're very comfortable playing—and he might show up here five minutes after you're out of sight. What do we do then?"

She got really close to me. "You call your little friends right now and set up your little war room. I'm going for a drive."

"No." I slid the bolt on the front door. It was more to make a point than anything else. She could undo it if she tried. "You're not going anywhere because I forbid you to risk your safety." She was the most important thing in my world.

"Something is wrong, Nic. I feel it in here." She jabbed at her chest. "And you're not taking me seriously."

I slid my phone from my pocket. "I'm taking you very seriously, but your safety is my number one concern. Above anything else—even above your father's whereabouts. You are my true mate, my bride, my fucking queen, and when I tell you to remain in the house for your own good, you will fucking do it."

I roared the last words, and she flinched.

Then she looked at me, her usually warm, rich gaze hard and cold. "Yeah?"

I nodded, pleased that at least she wasn't arguing now. "I'll contact Sebastian, Jason and Kyle, and—"

She crossed her arms, her eyes suddenly blazing like small fires—not the warmth in them that I liked.

"You know what, Nic, I told you I'm done being the damsel, so I don't want to hear your fucking plans for you and your pretend soldier friends. I don't even want to breathe the same air as you right now." She whirled away and stomped up the stairs. About halfway, she turned and flipped me the middle finger. "Fuck you."