16. Leia

Chapter 16

I slammed the door to the east wing so hard I thought the entire wall might collapse, and I stormed down the corridor, looking for an outlet for my rage. There were doors down here I never even used, each of them holding furniture draped in huge swaths of fabric to keep the dust off.

Now, I stormed into these rooms and ripped the fabric away, exposing antique after antique after antique. I opened drapes with violence and aggression, and I screamed and bellowed my rage on more than one balcony, until my muscles were sore and my throat ached.

My eyes were dry, though. I slammed every door I walked through, harder and harder until I was opening doors back up just to slam them closed again, daring the old house to so much as crack beneath my rage.

It consumed me.

Fucking Nic. There was no way Dad had just upped and left his rehab…right? At least, not without his stuff. And sure, he was an addict, but he wasn't heartless. Surely, he wouldn't just have left without telling me.

I sat at a random piano I'd uncovered in a large bedroom and pressed one of the yellowed-ivory keys, listening to the high-pitched plink, plink sound. Somehow the pitch suited my mood better than any discordant crash I could evoke by smashing the keys at the other end.

Anger at Nic kept my disappointment in Dad at bay. If I didn't think too hard about what my father was capable of, I didn't have to believe he might have left on his own. And I couldn't believe that anyway. Not until I'd explored and dismissed every other possibility.

Francois had kept me in that old bedroom with no windows. But Dad wouldn't hold the same use for him that I had. There would be a worse place for my father, and I needed to be out there to get him back.

I sat until the light at the window began to fade, dimming to a haze of vivid streaks of color then purples, and as the door behind me opened then quietly shut, I didn't turn around.

I didn't need to.

I could sense Nic's presence. My body tugged toward him, my blood all seeming to rush to meet him. But I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing the effect he had on me.

"Did you mean it?" There was a hardness in his voice, despite the quiet gentleness.

My irritation flared to life, and I half turned toward him. "Mean what?"

"Fuck me."

The breath left my body at his words. So bold, so unsugarcoated. So screamingly naked.

Energy crackled between us, and I drew deeper breaths as his silence seemed to suck all the air from the room. My rage started to slide into something more carnal, more easily sated.

Of course, he hadn't mistaken my insult for desire, but now he'd turned it into a quiet command, and I wrapped my fingers around the piano bench to prevent me from getting up and flinging myself into his arms as I clawed his clothes off. His shirt already hung open, and I wanted to shove it from his shoulders and lick each line of his tattoo.

I grew wet just trying to resist him and I sighed with relief when he touched my shoulder because he was right there. I hadn't needed to move at all. I hadn't needed to step down from my anger. He hadn't made me do that.

He swept my hair aside, scrunching it roughly in his fist as he tugged my head to one side, arching my neck.

"Beautiful," he whispered as he traced a finger along the resulting curve. "You want me, Leia."

I shook my head. "No." The denial was pointless, but I hated that I wanted him so much. All the time. Even when I was angry.

Even when I could claw his eyes out at the same time as removing his clothes.

He bent low, his lips against my ear. "I can smell your arousal."

I shook my head, just one quick stiff movement.

He chuckled, dark and low. "Your body doesn't lie to me."

My anger flared again. Irrational and out of proportion like half of the feelings weren't even mine. On the verge of uncontrollable. "I should stake your heart."

He laughed again and yanked my head back so I looked up and met his eyes. "Then you should know my heart is already yours."

Despite his tender words, his gaze reflected the anger burning through me—an anger quickly spiraling to lust.

He straightened, the evidence of his arousal obvious, and I reached to smooth my hand over the bulge in his pants.

He moved back, denying me access. "Turn around."

His voice was gruff, raw, and I grew wetter just hearing him speak. As I turned to face him, powerless now to resist his instruction, the sound of a zipper being unzipped filled the room, and Nic took his cock in his fist, stroking it lazily as the last remnants of my anger became fiery lust.

I wanted this man.

I wanted to taste this man and fuck him.

I wanted to hate-fuck him because I hated loving him so much that I still wanted him buried inside me, despite all else. Only Nic could inspire such anger then wipe it all away with one look, one touch.

My mouth dried as I watched him. Then I touched my tongue against my lips and leaned toward him. His movements slowed, and when I pressed my lips to the tip of his cock, he hissed a breath. His hand tangled in my hair again, pulling the strands as he wrapped them around his fingers, and I opened my mouth, using my tongue to swipe up the glistening bead of precum.

"Leia." He whispered my name, and it was a plea for forgiveness and a request. "Don't stop."

His hips rocked forward. Gentle but insistent, nudging forward into my mouth, and I flattened my tongue against his shaft, accepting him as I pushed his pants down his thighs and ran my fingers over his balls, teasing, scraping them lightly with my fingernails, and exploring the delicate skin.

He held my head still and he thrust harder, slowly fucking my mouth, but never too deep, never too far. I glanced upward at his closed eyes and slack jaw, and I wrapped my hand around the base of his shaft to stroke him.

He blew out his breath in short puffs, and I wriggled a little on the bench, seeking my own friction against the seam of my jeans.

"Your scent is amazing, Leia," Nic said, his voice tense. He slowed his movements and pulled me to my feet, his cock flat between us as he unsnapped the button at my waist, pushing my pants and underwear out of the way. Then he lifted me onto the piano, and the low keys crashed like thunder under my ass.

"I'm going to fuck you now." His gray eyes were like small storms, and I shivered under the weight of the promise in his voice. "Because I want you more than I've ever wanted anybody, and you're mine."

As he finished speaking, he thrust inside me in one smooth stroke and I accepted all of him, winding my right leg over his hip, my heel digging into his muscular ass. I rode each thrust hard, meeting him as he slammed inside me, and I pressed my hand between us to touch myself, but Nic growled low and took my hand in his.

"Mine, Leia." He pressed his finger against my clit, and I moaned, pushing my hips forward, seeking more of his touch. He smiled, satisfaction evident in the tilt of his lips.

The room filled with the sound of our breathing, and a groan rumbled from him as he pumped his hips faster, filling me over and over. He circled my clit, and I gasped as I clutched his wrist, urging him faster, harder.

"More." My voice broke on the word and he bent over me as his hand never stopped moving, claiming my mouth under his. I pushed my tongue into his mouth, sliding it along the edge of one of his fangs, and his obvious desire threatened to carry me away. My chest tightened as need surged through me, and I dragged my mouth from his, offering him my neck instead. "Bite me."

He made a strangled sound, part chuckle, part moan and the tips of his fangs grazed my skin before he sucked a sharp breath and I flinched at the sudden invasion. Then ecstasy flooded me, short-circuiting each of my nerve endings as an orgasm crashed through me, and I plunked my left hand down at my side, striking an out-of-tune chord as wave after wave of pleasure engulfed me.

The sound of Nic drinking from me filled my ears and his cock filled my body and I pulsed around him as every muscle inside me tensed and tightened.

He stiffened and moaned before drawing away and shouting his release to the large room.

He stood against me, stroking his hands over my shoulders, and across my breasts, still buried inside me, before he lifted me and walked us to the bed. Without withdrawing, he maneuvered us onto the bed, and lay beside me, dropping soft kisses along my jaw and over my cheeks. He brushed my hair from my face, each of his touches infinitely gentle, as he softly nudged in and out of me, more like a reflex and reminder of our connection than seeking any sort of release.

I tightened around him, small aftershocks of my pleasure sending shivers through me.

When he lowered his lips to mine, I responded to his exploratory kisses with eagerness, and leaned into his touch when he cupped his palm against my cheek.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and leaned his forehead against mine, gazing into my eyes.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I know you think I wasn't taking your worries seriously."

I nodded, caution still my overriding emotion. Those weren't quite the words I wanted to hear, but it was hard to concentrate with him still so close, still stoking so much heat inside me, still wringing out the last few moments of pleasure.

"And do you now?" I asked my question quietly as I toyed with his hair, watching the shimmering strands of dirty blond as I teased them between my fingers.

"I think so." His voice was still gruff, and he didn't meet my eyes. "Jason, Kyle, and Sebastian are in my office, trying to figure out a plan."

My face heated. "What? They're in your office and you're here…doing what?"

He thrust against me again. "You already need a reminder?"

"No. I mean…" Speech deserted me. "Shouldn't we be there, making the plan? Helping make the plan? He's my dad."

Nic shook his head. "You shouldn't be anywhere near this. I can't risk your safety again. If you truly think Jean has been abducted, I need you to stay away." He grimaced and shook his head. "I mean, actually stay the hell away." He kissed my temple, his manner gentle, despite his harsh words. "I'm really sorry your dad is missing, and I'll do anything to bring him back to you."

"Let me help." I pressed my palm to his cheek and looked into his eyes, imploring him to understand that I couldn't just sit idly by. "I was in that room with Francois, Nic. I had no one. I didn't know if help was coming."

A flash of pain made his eyes turbulent. "Of course I was coming. I'd move Heaven and Earth and walk straight through the fires of Hell to reach you. That time, any time. All the time. Please never doubt that."

I nodded. "Then allow me to do the same for my father."

He closed his eyes, so I lost all track of his emotion, but his mouth tightened briefly. He shook his head. "I can't. You could die. I could lose you."

He tightened his arms around me and began to thrust harder inside me like he was assuring himself I was there or stamping his ownership on me.

"No, Nic. Don't try to distract me with sex. I need to be angry right now." I drew away from him, putting distance between us. "I need to fight. I need to fight for my dad, but I don't know what to do."

"Let me handle it all. I'll do your fighting." His words and gaze held the same plea, but he let me move away. "Leia?"

I looked at him, caught off guard by the unusual vulnerability he'd injected into my saying my name.

"We need to talk about—"

I waited as he dragged in a deep breath.

"About turning you."

But I shook my head, the movement abrupt. "Not anywhere close to needing to talk about that, Nic. Not now. Maybe not ever. I have many other priorities." Despite the allure of being stronger, becoming a fucking vampire sounded like a nightmare—and not one I was willing to face today. I wrapped my arms around myself, cold without Nic's proximity, and he drew a blanket over me, tucking it around my shoulders.

He opened his mouth like he might push the subject, but he didn't, and I returned the conversation to the subject of my dad.

"It's like this," I said. "If Francois has Dad, he could be doing anything to him. He could be bleeding him a little bit each day. He could be draining him right now. We might already be too late, but I have to try. I have to be involved. He's the last family I have left. If he's with Francois, I can't leave him there. No one deserves to rot in that house." My breath shuddered as I drew in a deep inhale. "Maybe not even Francois. It's an exercise in decay."

Nic stroked my face, but he remained silent, and I spoke again.

"My dad isn't perfect. Hell, he's not even pretty good or average, but in his own way, he has loved me over the years, and my mom loved him. She chose him and married him, and I think he loved her, too. He didn't get like this until he lost her. I owe it to my mom to do everything I can to get him back."

"But…"

I held up my hands, stopping Nic's next words. "You can't say anything to change my mind."

"What if I lose you?" He whispered the words so quietly, I barely heard him, and my chest tightened.

I shrugged. "I can't lose him, though."

My words sounded harsh to my own ears—I couldn't imagine losing Nic or being asked to choose between his life and someone else's. And maybe that was what I was asking Nic to do, risk me for my dad, who I was sure he didn't really care about.

"Please," I whispered. "I have to do this. I'll never forgive myself if I don't at least try."

"But you know what vampires are capable of. You know you could be putting yourself directly in harm's way."

I shivered. "I know the risks," I confirmed, fighting against myself so I didn't reach out to him for comfort. I wanted to be back in his arms and have him fix everything for me. "I think I just have to do this."

He shook his head but it was with resignation rather than lack of permission or disagreement. Then he sighed. "But what if I can't protect you? I've already failed you too many times." He reached for me and tucked me against him, resting his chin on top of my head. "I can keep you safe here. I can control this environment. I have wards that protect the house."

"I have to do this, though, Nic." I splayed my hand over his chest, absorbing the warmth from his skin and feeling the steady thud of his heart against me. "This isn't just another plea for a night out dancing. My dad is the last family I have, the last connection I have to Mom. I wouldn't insist if it wasn't important. I have to do this."

He sighed again. "I know." Then he moved. "Get dressed. I need to take you to see the others, tell them the new plans—and that they include you." His face remained tight and drawn. He still wasn't happy.

But I rolled from the bed and slid my pants back on then ran my fingers through my hair. "Ready."

He grimaced. "I'm sure as fuck not. They're not going to like this any more than I do."

He led me downstairs like he was leading me to the gallows. When he opened the door to his office, Sebastian looked at me with wide, surprised eyes.

"Took you long enough to find her." Jason grinned as he glanced up from some maps on the desk.

Kyle folded his arms. "I think we can all guess what took the time."

My face heated, but I refused be intimidated. I glanced up at Nic and opened my mouth to speak, but Nic started to talk first.

"Leia is coming with us to find Jean." His voice was tight, and his mouth barely moved as he formed the words.

"What? No." Kyle's arms tightened so much that his muscles bulged. "She's a civilian," he spat. "And worse, she's a human."

Jason's eyes were as wide as Sebastian's now. "This isn't a good idea." He shook his head.

"Well, it's not my fucking idea, is it?" Nic rounded on him, arguing like I wasn't even in the room listening to them talk.

Sebastian shook his head. "I don't think you should even entertain this with her… With her—" He gestured toward me. "Like this."

"Like this? What the fuck, Sebastian?" I was mad now, but I didn't exactly know why. "So I'm good enough for you to keep smelling my hair but not good enough to help find my dad?"

I glared at him, and his cheeks reddened as Nic growled and stepped toward him.

Kyle stepped forward too. "How can she come if her presence divides you? We need to get our shit together. We don't know where Jean is, if someone has him or if they don't. We're currently blind. We need to do better."

I leveled a cool look at him. Then I glanced at everyone else. "I'm coming because Nic says I can and because no one wants to find my father as badly as I do. I'm the only one of us who knows what it's like to be abducted by Francois. If he has my dad—" I broke off and swallowed. "Well, even my dad doesn't deserve to be imprisoned by a vampire."

Sebastian's gaze turned sympathetic. "We'll all do anything we can."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "We'll do what we always do. Plan to succeed and get the job done."

"And Leia will do everything I say, follow all of my rules, and stay safe," Nic said as he watched me. His gaze pleaded with me not to disagree with him.

But I had no intention of disagreeing. Not in public, and not even in private. I didn't exactly have a death wish, and if following the instructions of the vampire king and his men kept me alive, I was good with swallowing my pride.

"I think I can manage to do that." I grinned at him, but he didn't manage anything more than a grimace in return before he tugged me against him, his arm around my waist.