Chapter 9

9

I t hadn't even been forty-eight hours since Claire had come back into Jake's life, and he was already right back to where he was four years ago. He never stopped loving her. Suppressed it maybe, but never stopped.

When they called it a night, everyone shuffled off to their bunks. They all stuck to the middle bunks, since the ones near the floor required getting onto the floor to get inside, and the ones on the very top required climbing. None of them cared for any of those options. But it had quickly become clear to Jake that Claire couldn't do the top or bottom bunks with her injuries. Before anyone else had considered it, he immediately moved all his items to the bottom bunk across the aisle and gave her his bunk.

Now they were all tucked into their beds, the only sound coming from the engine rumbling and the tires on the road… and Ben snoring.

Jake shifted to the edge of his bed and pulled the curtain open to pop his head out. There wasn't any movement from the other occupied bunks, but if he knew better, Claire was still awake. She had never been one to fall asleep easily on the bus. They had spent many nights chatting from their respective bunks, and sometimes going to the back of the bus to have late night chats.

Those were some of his fondest memories of their time together. The shows took a lot out of the guys and they all fell asleep quickly most nights, but since Claire came back, Jake knew sleeping would be difficult.

"Claire," he whispered.

None of the curtains on the bunks moved except for hers. She leaned her head out and looked down at him across the hallway.

"Yes?"

Her hair was in a braid, and her makeup had been scrubbed free. Despite the dark bruises, she was still a sight to see. Still as beautiful as he remembered.

"How's the bed?"

"Good." She paused briefly and a small smile played at her lips. "You didn't have to give me your bunk. I could have managed."

"How did you know I gave you mine?"

She made a point to look down the hallway at the other closed curtains only on the middle bunks, plus one other near the floor. "Because everyone prefers the middle."

She pulled her pillow closer to the edge so she could rest her head on it and still see him. "Plus, it smells like you."

He pulled his pillow to the edge and got comfortable as well. "I wanted you to be comfortable."

"I think you should worry about yourself. You're the one who needs to perform tomorrow. I can manage."

"I can sleep anywhere. It doesn't make a difference to me."

She tucked her hands under her pillow. "So why aren't you asleep now?"

"A lot on my mind."

Guilt flashed across her face before she schooled her features. "A lot on mine, too."

"You know you can always talk to me, right?"

She smiled. "I'll keep that in mind."

"I hope you do."

They laid in silence for a few minutes.

"Hey, Claire," Jake whispered. He still felt restless even after chatting with her earlier, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He knew they had a lot to unpack regarding their history, and didn't know when they could do it without being interrupted. It was nearly impossible to get alone time on these tours, and the few precious minutes they did get were usually spent in their hotel rooms. With Ben keeping a close eye on Claire, it would be hard for them to find alone time again.

"I really hope we can sit down and chat sometime."

When she didn't reply, he glanced up at her bunk and could just make out enough of her features in the dim light to see that she was asleep. He crawled out of his bunk and dragged the curtains of hers closed before getting back into his. Curtains from Theo's bed opened, and he peeked out.

From the look on his face, he heard at least a little of their conversation over Ben's snoring.

He tipped his head at Jake, letting him know he was there if he needed to chat. Jake tipped his head back in thanks and then they both closed the curtains on their bunks to get some much needed rest.

The next few nights were anything but restful, and Jake was feeling it. His body was tired from several days of restless sleep, and their day was jam-packed with interviews and events leading up to the concert that night.

He pulled an energy drink out of the small refrigerator on their bus and cracked it open. Everyone seemed refreshed, except for him. They had all gotten ready on the bus and were just pulling up to the next venue, where they would be whisked away to hair and makeup at a studio before going live on a morning talk show.

Claire stayed behind on the bus with Lonnie and their driver. Ben insisted she come, but Will told them it was best to keep Claire out of the spotlight until she healed up. Gossip ran rampant in this business, and the last thing they needed were rumors flying around that one of the guys did this to her.

She agreed it was best she stay behind and said she wasn't ready to face crowds. Jake still didn't know what injuries she sustained from her ex aside from possibly fractured ribs, but knew it was extensive enough that she winced with just the simplest of movements. He knew her injuries were worse than she let on since he caught her trying to cover up her discomfort whenever she was around them.

Leaving Claire behind was getting harder for him with each day that passed. The meaningful looks Theo threw his way told him he also noticed. Jake had yet to get Claire alone again so they could talk, and he felt like he would implode if it didn't happen soon. He needed it to calm his racing heart.

After they got through hair and makeup at the studio, they waited in the green room to be taken to the stage. The morning show was already in full swing, and the audience was jam-packed with teenage girls waiting to get a glimpse of them.

Theo walked up next to Jake, where he stood watching the TV monitors, but not really watching, and bumped his arm.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, man. I'm good."

Theo glanced around the small room. The other guys were sitting on the various couches, playing on their cell phones.

"You're looking a little rough around the edges," Theo whispered. "I think it might be good for you to see Celine and maybe get some sleeping pills."

Jake sighed. He knew Theo was right, but if he could just get Claire alone, it would solve everything with no medication.

"I just need to talk to Claire," he mumbled.

"We're on the bus again tonight. See if she'll meet you in the back lounge after everyone goes to sleep."

"What if she won't?" Jake asked.

"Then you need to see Celine about getting some medication."

Theo clapped Jake on the shoulder just as someone with a headset walked in and told them to follow her. Jake took a deep breath. Right now, he needed to focus on getting through the day. Claire was safe. He knew that, despite wanting to keep an eye on her himself. The urge he felt to keep her beside him at all times was nagging at him. Her asshole ex was still out there and no one knew if he would try to come after her. Until they were certain he wasn't, Jake could never rest.